Destined for Victory

Paul Sheppard: And what you need to do is realize that you can have an expectation of people and they haven't signed off on it. That's one of our big problems. We expect people to do what they haven't agreed to do.

When you're holding on to bitterness or unforgiveness, you have no room for the blessing God wants to put into your hands.

Guest (Male): Hello and welcome to another great week here on Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Sheppard. Always great to have you with us.

Well, there are unmet expectations and then there are unrealistic expectations. Both can cause frustration and hurt feelings. Today, Pastor Paul takes us to an encounter between Martha and Jesus. That conversation and the practical lessons we can learn from it come your way next.

Don't forget to visit our website, pastorpaul.net. That's where you can listen to any recent message on demand, including today's. Pastorpaul.net. Now, here's today's Destined for Victory message. It's called "When Humans Attack," and it starts right now.

Paul Sheppard: Martha is the owner of the house. The Bible says she opened her house. So even though her adult siblings apparently lived with her in this house in Bethany, she was the owner. We don't know if she was a widow or how it is that she came to own the property, but it was hers. And if Mary and Lazarus lived with her, then there were already three adults in the house, and now Jesus and all these disciples have shown up. And she wants to fix a meal, so she goes to work.

Now look at what happens. She begins to prepare because she wants to be a blessing. Many of us want to be a blessing to people in our lives. We want to live our lives in a way that pleases God. So we start out like she did, with a good motive. I want to be a blessing. But in the process, she becomes distracted.

We are told, look at what happens here, verse 40: "Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made." Now there's a lot built into that one sentence. When it says she was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made, it doesn't mean that she was just looking at everything she was trying to fix for them and saying, "Okay, have I left something out? Okay, what's going on?" That wasn't all the distraction. Part of the distraction, we know from the next sentence, is inside of her develops an attitude.

She develops an attitude in the course of trying to be helpful, trying to be a blessing. She's removed from the fellowship area. She's over in the cooking area. Whether she had a separate kitchen or whatever, she's over in the cooking area, and she is developing an attitude. She begins an internal dialogue with herself, and she is beginning to think in ways that are militating against her goal of being a blessing. She's beginning now to think, "There is a whole lot to be done, and I'm the only one in this kitchen. You got all these grown folk sitting out there, hanging out, chilling. Every now and then I hear a burst of laughter."

Come on now, let's learn from this. I hear laughter and frivolity and fun. Then it gets quiet as Jesus is speaking profound words of truth, and I'm in here by myself. And what I'm doing is designed to bless them, and none of them care about me. And she's got all the wrong things going on inside of her. And I want to tell you, if you plan to live a life that brings God glory, you have got to check your internal dialogue, because it will take you in the direction of things that militate against what God wants you to do.

And she's now developing an attitude. The attitude is focused primarily on Mary, because Mary lives here. "First of all, this is my house." Come on now, let's think this through. We're told in verse 38, this is Martha's house. Mary does not have her name on the deed. "This is my house. I let my sister live here, but she doesn't own this place. It's my house. And now she's sitting in there on the floor at Jesus' feet, chilling, like she doesn't have a care in the world, like it's all good. She knows all these folks showed up. She knows I'm trying to feed them, and now she's in there acting like she has a maid."

Let me show you something. Here's what Martha should have done. She's beginning to prepare this big meal. There's a lot to be done, no doubt about it, a lot of work. And at the moment she began to think, "I need some help." At the moment she began to think, "All those folks in there having fun, and I'm the only one who's missing it because I'm working," that's not right. Nothing wrong with that thought. That's a good thought. We can't fault you for that thought.

But now it is where you take the thought that determines whether you please God. What she should have done is said, peeked her head out, "Excuse me, Jesus. Mary, can I see you for a minute?" Trying to show you now how this should have gone. She comes in politely, excuses herself, calls Mary in, and brought Mary in the kitchen and said, "Sweetie, listen, I know that you would like to fellowship and hang out with Jesus. I would too. After all, that's why I invited him into my house." It's alright to take a little quick shot in there.

But the fact is, the only way we're going to all enjoy this meal and this fellowship is for us to get this meal knocked out. And I need you to do me a favor and help me get things done. Would you do that for me, please? See, what she would have done now is respectfully brought to Mary's attention the fact that there's a lot to be done, and if you chip in and help me, we can all enjoy this fellowship together. Now, we don't know whether Mary would have taken her up on it, but we do know that would have been the right approach.

See, you haven't had a successful flight until you learn how to land. And a lot of us have problems because we get up in the air of frustration and we don't care about the landing, and we will just crash because we don't care anymore. "I'm frustrated. I'm in here by myself. All y'all acting like you have maid service."

And what you need to do is realize that you can't have an expectation of people and they haven't signed off on it. That's one of our big problems. We expect people to do what they haven't agreed to do. Go back to the internal dialogue. What she's doing is she's talking back and forth to herself. When the conversation's with you, you ask the question, you answer it any way you want. "Do they have a right to be treating me like this? Of course not. You know you deserve more than that. Whose house is this anyway? It's your house. You're the one who ought to be out there. If anybody ought to be on the floor, it ought to be you."

So she's got this thing going on. She's targeting Mary. And she has not thought, "I didn't ask Mary to help me." She's busy thinking, "Mary ought to help me. Mary ought to know to help me. There's some things you shouldn't have to say to people." Oh, I know I'm ringing doorbells. That's why I'm preaching. You think I don't stand up here and waste my time? "He sounds like he's talking to me." Of course I'm talking to you. Now why would I stand up here and talk to nobody?

So she is thinking, "I deserve help. The lack of help means disrespect." She's thinking all these wrong things instead of just saying, "You know, I never did ask her." And the fact of the matter is, you can't rightly have expectations of people until they've signed off on them. Secondly, after people sign off, there is a factor in humanity that causes us—it's just one of our human flaws—that causes us to sometimes become distracted from some minor commitments we have made, some things that we said in sincerity we would help with, we would co-sign on.

But along the way, as you live your life, as you're in troubles, frustrations, or preoccupations or new fascinations, such as Jesus showing up unexpectedly. Oh wow, Jesus shows up, man! Now my focus can easily get absorbed in this. And the fact of the matter is, sometimes we're frustrated with folks because we have expectations they never signed off on.

And sometimes we're frustrated because we refuse to give people the grace of knowing that although sometimes they have said, "Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will come through," there are times when we have to be reminded or even mildly rebuked for not following through on our commitments. But if you take that approach, see, now it's an approach of troubleshooting, the goal of which is to have reconciliation and to get right results. But when you have this negative dialogue running in your head, the goal is not right results. The goal is, "I want to vent."

Guest (Male): Stay with us. The second half of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Sheppard is coming right up. We can't say it often enough. It's because of you, our listening friends and partners, that we are able to bring these messages on multiple media platforms. You are truly impacting this world for Jesus Christ.

To give today, please call 855-339-5500, or give safely and securely online at our website, pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net. It's okay to talk to yourself, just make sure you don't always listen to yourself. Now let's get you back to the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, "When Humans Attack."

Paul Sheppard: Martha is distracted by all the preparations. Our next sentence in the same verse, verse 40: "She came to Jesus." I'm going to show you what goes wrong when you don't do things God's way. She came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me." Wait now. Look at this. Wrong dialogue is running in her head.

She's feeling disrespected. She hasn't asked anybody to help, but mad that nobody is helping. Mad that she owns the house, Mary's acting like she got the maid. And by the time this dialogue concludes, one part of her brain says to the other part of her brain, "You know what? You shouldn't take this anymore. There's no point in staying in this kitchen frustrated. They need to know how you feel." And the other part says, "You're right." And she bursts out the kitchen.

When humans attack, they don't care who's in the path, even if it's Jesus. Look at what she does. She talks to Jesus. She's mad at Mary, but she vents frustration on Jesus. She accuses him of not caring that Mary doesn't care. You see what just happened? She came out and said, "Lord, don't you care that my old lazy sister is sitting in here talking, listening to you?" And now she doesn't want to talk to Mary, but she still wants her help. So she says, "You tell her." She's sitting right there. "Tell Mary to get in here and help me."

Now look at what's happened because she has handled this wrong. What was supposed to be a wonderful gathering of fellowship and love and joy, now everybody in the room, eyes are bucked wide. They hear the Twilight Zone music. They're all sitting there thinking, "We thought we just—you invited us in here, but what in the world is going on?" "Lord, don't you care that I'm in here doing this by myself? You tell her to get up and help me."

If Jesus would have said, "Mary, go on and help your sister. Obviously, she's a little frustrated. Why don't you go give her a hand? We'll finish talking later." Even if he had done that, do you know what it would have been like in that kitchen? It wouldn't have gone well, because she'd have been in there telling her what to do but still had the bad attitude. You see, because she's missed the purpose. She's missed God's purpose.

If you're supposed to be a blessing, then you've got to do whatever it takes to be a blessing. We are blessed to be a blessing to other people. We cannot afford to misread what God wants us to do in any situation. And she'd have been in there if Mary had come in. They wouldn't have had decent fellowship. It would have been, "Come on, get that out of there. Look at what you're doing!"

Make somebody sick. And in between getting the biscuits and then getting all the stuff, in between she'd have been fussing and venting some more. "Make me sick in there the whole time. I don't know what you were thinking. Sometimes I wonder if you even have a brain. It just makes me—good Lord, if Mama was alive to see you, she'd have known that you weren't—"

Why is this story here? It's here to show us what Jesus went on to explain. Jesus didn't respond, "Mary, get up and help your sister. We'll finish talking later." Look at Jesus' response. Jesus says, "Martha, Martha." Calls her twice. Really locking in, getting her attention. She's frustrated now. You've got to go slow when you're dealing with somebody frustrated. You've got to dial down in order to help them hopefully see themselves.

"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things." The words "worried and upset" are better translations because they pinpoint what Jesus was saying. King James says, "You are careful and troubled." The problem with "careful," it's a good word. It's just that in our general vernacular, we tend to think too broadly about the word "careful." Sometimes "careful" has a positive connotation. There are things indeed you ought to be careful about, give careful attention to.

That's not what Jesus was saying here. He's saying, "You are anxious. You are worried. You are frustrated." He's saying the state of mind you're in is not good. You set out to be a blessing, and now you have disrupted the atmosphere because you are anxious, you're worried, and you are troubled, you are upset, you are frustrated. Everybody feels your mood. You have conveyed, you have put the wrong things out here.

And he says, "You've got many things on your mind, many things that are upsetting you, converging on your heart and mind." And that's why the Bible says that worry is a sin. God doesn't condemn us because of our humanity, and it is a tendency for us as humans to be greatly concerned about lots of issues.

But then Jesus came to teach us how to live and to teach us how to access the grace of God so that we can live. And so he says very plainly in Matthew chapter six, "Do not worry." It's a command. Worry is a sin because worry puts frustration and upset and anxiety out there, and it has done nothing good. Everything you do out of worry is bad.

So you're saying, "Now wait a minute, that's not fair. What am I supposed to do with all these things on my heart?" Well, first of all, why is all that stuff on your heart? Seems to me that some of us carry things God never put on us to carry. And even if there are some things that you can rightly carry as a burden, where do you take the burden? And the Bible says instead of worry, Paul said in Philippians 4, "Do not worry about anything, but pray about everything."

In other words, there are some things I can, by proactivity, by influence, by action, I can resolve a problem. If there's a problem I can resolve, God's given me the wisdom and the wherewithal to resolve it, I don't have to pray about that. I can just resolve it and thank God that he blessed me to be able to do it.

But we all know that there are things in our sphere of influence whereby our actions, by our proactivity, we can make things better. There are other things and, frankly, many more things outside of our sphere of influence, and about those you can do nothing except give them to God. And if you want to please God, you've got to now trust him with all the stuff you can't do anything about, and it's on your heart. And you've got to learn to give that over to God as an act of your will. And you've got to learn to—watch this word—trust him.

Trust is a word we throw around a lot, but if we ever start living it, it'll change things. See, we'll glibly say things, "The Bible said trust in the Lord with all your heart." No, no, stop, stop, stop. Trust means more than belief. Do you believe God hears you when you pray? Yes. Have you given him your burdens? Not unless you're trusting him.

To trust God means, "I give it to you, Lord, and I'm asking you, would you please take this? I can't handle it. I can't do anything about it. All it's doing is upsetting my stomach. All it's doing is preoccupying my mind. It has taken the sleep away from me. It is ruining my relationships. I'm bursting out the kitchen blowing everybody away with my Uzi of frustration and anxiety. I'm alienating loved ones and friends, I'm alienating coworkers. Folk don't want to be around me. God, I'm going in the wrong direction, and I need you to take the stuff that is on my mind and heart. Would you take this in such a way that I leave it with you and I don't have to think about it again?" And the word says God's answer is yes.

Love doesn't mean anything if it doesn't express itself. Same is true of compassion and mercy. I don't need compassion or mercy that's in your heart. I need compassion and mercy that gets in your hands and causes you to do something to help me.

Guest (Male): Thank you so much for being here with us for today's Destined for Victory message, "When Humans Attack." Before we finish up today, I've invited our executive director, Alicia Greer, to share just a few words about the impact you make as you support the ministry of Destined for Victory. Alicia?

Alicia Greer: Hi everyone. I wanted to share something really encouraging with you. I was looking at the comments on Pastor Paul's YouTube channel and was delighted to see a couple of people mention that they only just discovered his teachings after his passing.

To me, that is a powerful reminder of why this ministry continues to matter. Your contributions aren't just keeping his voice on the air for our faithful listeners; they're actively reaching new people who had never had the chance to hear him before. I'm so grateful for that.

If you'd like to continue supporting this work, visit pastorpaul.net/donate for a full list of ways you can partner with the ministry. Thank you, and let's keep reaching the world for Christ together.

Guest (Male): Well, as you heard Alicia say just now, our audience continues to grow, which means more and more people can hear Pastor Paul's timeless truth for a victorious life. And we have listening friends and partners like you to thank.

When you give today, we have a great resource to send you as our way of saying thanks, a great new booklet called "When Humans Attack." You may remember the story of Mary and Martha from the Gospel of Luke. Martha is busy preparing a meal and doing household chores, and she goes from frantic to frustrated because Mary is spending time with Jesus instead of helping her out.

Pastor Paul Sheppard takes an honest look at this story in this booklet, contrasting distraction and devotion and showing the value of pausing to be near Jesus. It also offers some biblical wisdom about how to handle unmet expectations and personal conflict. It's called "When Humans Attack," and it's our thank-you gift this month when you make a generous donation to Destined for Victory.

You can give by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500, or give safely and securely online at our website, pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net. And you can mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.

That's tomorrow in our message, "If It Ain't Broke, Break It." But until then, remember: He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.