Destined for Victory

Paul Sheppard: Promote the good news more than you denounce the bad news. There are things you take your stand against, there are things you denounce, no this is wrong. But the good news is Christ loves us, He died for us.

Guest (Male): The crowd was eager to begin throwing stones. This was no metaphor. These were real weapons and they were about to be used to kill a woman who had broken a sacred law. Hello and welcome to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Sheppard.

It was in this moment that Jesus taught us an invaluable lesson, how to love God's creation without sacrificing God's truth. He stopped a cruel and senseless execution and then he confronted the woman's lifestyle with these sobering words: "Go and sin no more."

Today's message is straight ahead. Remember, you can always visit pastorpaul.net to hear any recent Destined for Victory message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net. Now, let's listen closely to Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message, Improving Your Serve.

Paul Sheppard: Take your stand when people in your life are living in sin. You can love a sinner while hating the sin. It is possible to love a sinner. I take my stand against the sin, I do not participate in the sin, I do not condone the sin, but I can still love the sinner. In fact, that's the only way to reflect the love of God, because that's exactly what God did with us.

While we were sinners, Christ died for us. He did the best thing He could for us when we were in the worst possible condition. While we were sinners, while we hated Him, He loved us. And so since that is what brought you into the family of God, it stands to reason that that is how God calls you to deal with the other people in your life.

Sometimes we as believers struggle with how do I deal with a child who is living so wild outside of the will of God? Yes, sometimes you have to draw a line. Yes, sometimes you have to put them out of your house. If they're not doing right, it's your house, you get to have the rules. It's just that simple. I know it's outdated but this just used to be, you didn't even have to talk about it before. Now you have to stop and talk about it because people get under all kind of false guilt trips because people tell them all kinds of things that muddy up their thinking.

The fact of the matter is, if it's your house, you get to set the rules. Your teens live in your house. It's yours. You just rent them a room without charge. It's your house. Modern thinking says it's all about them, they must have a sense of personal ownership. You don't own anything in here. When was the last time you paid the mortgage? No, this is my house. God called me to raise you in the training and instruction of the Lord. As I seek to do that, you're free to stay here. Now if you ever get too grown to live here, you can't defy my rules and live here, you've got one choice: move. That's old-fashioned and you heard it here, because you won't hear it most other places.

Take your stand, but you do that in wisdom because unless you built, and when you've heard any of the parenting series you know that the flip side of that is very important. The qualifying foundation is very important, which is you build a relationship where they have no reason to disrespect you because you're not a hypocrite. I mean you live a real life. When you come short, you apologize. Just because they're your children doesn't mean you don't apologize. I came short, listen, I'm sorry. I didn't treat you right. I didn't handle that correctly. Please forgive me.

Make sure that they don't have cause against you. Build a relationship based on love, based on good treatment, based on them knowing that you have their best interest at heart. Being involved in their lives. Don't just show up to correct but be involved. God gave you your children to train and instruct in matters of life, which means you have to be involved. Don't be more involved in making a living than making a life. Part of making a life is raising your children in a quality fashion.

So there is balance here. But the bottom line is, sometimes foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and you've got to take your stand and say no, not here. Certain things you don't do by virtue of your address and your last name. And if you get so that you can't live by those rules, there's only one option and you've got to roll. You have to understand this as you deal with relatives and coworkers who have evil, and sometimes they want to paint you into a corner where they act like the only way you love me is to authenticate what I'm doing. No, that's not the only way to love you.

If you're living in a lifestyle that is clearly against the word of God, I don't have to authenticate it in order to love you. Yes, I love you, but no, I am not going to your wedding to a same-sex person. I'm not going, not because I don't love you, but because that's not a wedding, that's not the will of God. The Bible clearly speaks to it. I love you now, I will love you after your ceremony, but if my heart says not to go, then you explain I'm not called to go there.

I know some Christians who can go and they say well that's my way of demonstrating my love and support, but I also know others who say in all good conscience I cannot go. Don't make it so that that means you're not loving them right. It doesn't necessarily follow. I can love you and say no, I can't participate in that. But I'm not going to forsake you. I'm going to love you, I'm going to pray for you. I'll come to your house. Don't be all self-righteous. You've got to live this thing right.

Holiness is practical because Jesus was practical. He loved sinners. He spent time with sinners. Didn't He do it? In fact, the religious people, that was a charge they leveled against Him. They said how's He going to be the Son of God, He hangs out with sinners. Why was He doing that? Because He's come to the earth to call sinners to repentance. How can He call them to repentance unless He builds a relationship with them? Unless they know the good news.

Promote the good news more than you denounce the bad news. There are things you take your stand against, there are things you denounce, no this is wrong. But the good news is Christ loves us, He died for us. He's coming again for us. He can cause us to conform to His perfect will. The fact of the matter is God's love is what transforms a life, not your judgmental attitude. Even when you take a stand, do it in a loving spirit, do it with full respect and do it knowing that you don't cut off relationships because you disapprove of what people do. In this way, you can improve your serve of loving people without compromise.

Whether you're dealing with family members or friends or whatever it is, your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ, take your stand but love them unconditionally and sacrificially. The second point he gives us in the first part of verse 10 is to practice devotion. Paul says in Romans 12:10, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love." There's the word love again, but it's a different Greek word. Here you're dealing with the Greek word Phileo. The form here is Philadelphia, the name of the city I was born and raised in. The city of brotherly love. It was named by faith because it didn't turn out to be that. It turned out to be the city of brotherly shove.

But that's the word. Phileo is the base word. Philadelphia, the idea here is that you have a devotion that is based on a bond, a family bond. This is an exhortation that has its primary fulfillment in our relationship in the body of Christ. Some of these directives are general, they would apply to all relationships. Some would apply to those in the body of Christ and some would apply to those outside of the body of Christ. Here is one that applies primarily to the body of Christ because the bond, brotherly love, is based on having some sort of bond.

We do have a bond with everyone in Adam. Technically you could call everyone your brother and sister, because if you miss them in Christ you catch them in Adam. In that sense, we could be brother and sister. But there is a real sense in which the New Testament, when it refers to us as brothers and sisters, it's talking about our bond that's in Christ. In Christ, I have been made a part of the family of God. You are my brother, you are my sister. When it comes to that relationship, be devoted to one another. Devotion is on the verge of being extinct. I want to suggest that the word of God calls us to make sure that it never leaves this world because it continues to express itself in each of us.

Devotion is that bond that says I'm with you. Have you ever seen it in a family, a tight family? They might fight with each other, but you better not mess with one of them from the outside. You have seen trouble until you fool with one of them from the outside because they have a family bond, they're committed to one another. I've seen dysfunctional families and they fight with each other more than they fight with other folk. But when they fight with other folk, they make it count. They will all gang up on you. You're not just fooling with one of them, you're fooling with all of them. That's a bond there.

Some of you have heard me tell the story of the Sutton family in my neighborhood growing up. I ran into such a family when I was a junior high school student. I had a friend of mine who was still in sixth grade, he was still at the elementary school that I had graduated from. I was now in junior high and I was this big deal to be in junior high. We had a different schedule, got out of school earlier, went to different classes. I thought I was it in junior high.

I had a friend who was still in elementary school in sixth grade. He came home to the driveway we all played in after school, and he came home crying one day. He's just talking about this guy who was picking on him. I'm now in junior high school, I'm like no, no we're not going to have that. So I say I tell you what, I get out early tomorrow, I'll be down at your school. When school gets out, show him to me.

So I'm standing there. The school bell rang, kids start pouring out of the school, eventually his class came out. I said alright Craig, show him to me. Point him out to me. He pointed to a dude and I walked up to him. I said hey man, you've been messing with my boy? This dude was smaller than me by several inches and younger. He looked right in my face and said, "Yeah." I thought, okay. Not quite what I was looking for.

But that's alright. I sized him up quick. I can beat him down, it's no problem. But right while I'm doing that, he hauled off and hit me in my chest hard. By then it's coming into focus why this boy is so bold. How can he be younger, smaller than me, and yet be so bold? As I looked at his face, I realized because he was a member of the Sutton family. He had the family resemblance.

Guest (Male): Don't go away, we have more of today's Destined for Victory message coming up next. We want to thank all of you who support Destined for Victory with your prayers and financial support, gifts that help us keep the legacy preaching media ministry of Pastor Paul going. If you'd like to join us in our mission to preach timeless truth for a victorious life, please consider making a safe and secure donation at our website, pastorpaul.net, or give us a call at 855-339-5500. This is our calling in Christ, to serve others as He did, to deny ourselves as He did, and to humble ourselves as He did. Now here's the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, Improving Your Serve.

Paul Sheppard: The Sutton family was a family that was known in my neighborhood for being a fighting family. All of them could fight. Mrs. Sutton could fight. Y'all think I'm playing. She was one of those sisters who would get out in the street with house shoes on and handle anything that needed to be handled. You know those matted ones with grease and stuff on them.

So I realized this boy is bold because he figures even if he does beat me up, and by virtue of his family of course, his older brothers could fight. So he probably learned some things, so he probably wasn't so sure he couldn't take me. I was sure he couldn't take me, but he wasn't. And it probably would have been a pretty good fight because of his confidence. But behind all of that, I'm sure he was thinking even if he beats me, all I'm going to do is go home. They'll see me a little beat up and ask what's up, and I'll tell them some dude came down to the school from Roosevelt Junior High School and beat me up.

Then they'd have been at Roosevelt the next day when I come out. I knew both of his older brothers. They would have mopped up the ground with me. I wasn't going to fool with either one of them. I ran track in those days, I would have hit the wind, that's what I would have done. I would not have tried to stand up to either one of them. I'd have been peeping out the window: y'all see him? I'd have had my boys looking out. Yeah, they're out here in the back. Alright, well I'm going out the front then.

So the bottom line was, because I knew of their family reputation, rather than to avenge this punch, I said—I didn't know the Bible verse at the time, but had I known it I would have quoted it—come let us reason together. And I talked to the boy. I said look man, there's no need of us getting into it. It's not about that. Why don't you leave him alone? You see he's small, scrawny. I'm sure my friend was standing there like come on man. You know, why you want to pick on him? There's some other bigger dudes around here you want to fight, whatever, don't pick on him. He didn't do anything to you.

And I just straightened it out that way and he said cool. And we backed off. I said thank you Jesus, because all I could picture was myself being beaten down by one of the Sutton boys. You've got to understand that this family bond can be very strong in the natural and certainly in the spiritual family. The family bond ought to be very strong. We've got to learn to be devoted to one another. We've got to learn to be committed to one another. These are days when there's too much independent thinking, every man for himself, for our own good.

The reality is I've got to stand with you, you've got to stand with me. Lots of times people say well I'll stand with you as long as you're right. Well that's not good enough because there'll be times when I come short. I don't just need somebody to stand with me when I'm right, what am I going to do when I'm wrong? Who's going to help me? Who's going to say hey that's not right, you need to change that, you need to dig yourself? They've got to be devoted enough to you, committed enough to you, that when you're right I stand with you, but when you're wrong I stand with you to help get you right. Devotion. I'm committed. I'm here.

We are family. There is a bond here that cannot be broken just by some disagreement. I want to challenge somebody, stop throwing everybody away in your life just because you have a disagreement. There's strife, and some people just have the habit of, as soon as somebody gets on their nerve they just throw them away. Just throwaway relationships. I'm done with you. No, I can't be done with you, you're my brother, you're my sister. We're in the same family. You pick your friends but you're stuck with your relatives. They're born in, they're in just like you. Or adopted in, and they're in just like you, it's legally binding.

I disown my son. That's your child. Just as it is in the natural, so it is in the spiritual. I can't disown you my brother, my sister, you're God's child. You're my Father's kid. We're born again of the same spiritual seed, incorruptible spiritual seed. God has begun a good work in both of our lives. I can't toss you away because you're getting on my nerves or you're frustrating me. I've got to go back and get grace to deal with you.

Now to be sure, you've got some special brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. You have some that will really challenge you. But please always sober your thinking and make sure you realize that while some folk are special to you, it could be that you're special to some other folk. So you temper it with realistic thinking. But even when you're dealing with someone who is especially challenging, you have hard-headed brothers and sisters. You have those who are just narrow-minded. You have those who have all kinds of idiosyncrasies you don't like. But your devotion to them means that you remain steadfast in their lives.

I'm going to be here. You can try to kick me out but I'm here. We're in this thing together. I'm going to pray you through. When I disagree with something about your life, we can talk about it, but even if you say I don't see that, get out of my face, you don't know what you're talking about, I'm not going to throw you away, I'm going to still love you. And I'm going to play the best role I can play as your spiritual brother or sister to help you become all that God has called you to be. It is important that we behave that way in the body of Christ.

Now you've got to notice that he says practice this, be devoted to this in such a way that you're expressing brotherly love. Love is an action word. So don't tell me you love me and it doesn't reflect in your smile, your treatment of me, your being willing to forbear me when I'm getting on your nerves. There must be an action that's associated with any form of love, whether it is Agape or whether it is brotherly love. It is action-oriented. Love must have expression. We can talk too much about love in our hearts. Love in your heart isn't going to do people much good. It's the love that gets into your actions.

Just like when you come to church, when there are greeters or ushers, whatever a church may have, you expect that they don't just love you in their heart, it ought to reflect in the smile. We've got some great ones here that reflect the love of God in the way they smile. I appreciate them so much because that first line of people that a stranger runs into will impact on their thinking about the family. You ever been to a place and say well if the ushers or the greeters are like this, I'm not sure I want to stay for the service.

See, it's important. Just like that's true when it comes to those functions, it's true as we deal with one another. Again, you come short. There's grace. But let your coming short be the exception by God's grace and not the rule. The rule is I want to be able to express my love, to be kind. If there are people who have things about them you don't like, you can still be kind to them. If they're in the body, they are as legitimate in the family as you are. We like to call people black sheep and that sort of thing in the family, but no. God says no, they're just family members. I love them. Same blood that redeemed you redeemed them. Same promises that apply to you apply to them.

God doesn't have favorite kids. Now God's one of those kind of parents who can make you feel favored just by you hanging out with God and all that He's doing for you. You can really believe, oh man God really, really is into me. That's because He knows how to love us that way. But if you check in with your other brothers and sisters you'll find that they think the same thing. Just like those good old-fashioned grandparents, they always made everybody feel special. You thought you were the special one until you found out your brother thought he was the special one, your sister thought she was the special one, because they had that way of just connecting with you.

God is that way with all of us. Then He teaches us now, you're in My family, you reflect that bond by forbearing your brothers in devotion. Make sure that you do that. One of the ways you do that is to honor them. You want to make sure that you honor them. Prefer them. Just be courteous enough in the way you live to have an "after you" attitude. Have you ever seen, you know that's almost gone from the world, but you remember back when someone would hold the door, say after you? I'm going in but you can go first. I don't have to shove my way in or go in first then hold it back for you.

There's a higher form of expressing respect and honor to you. Hold the door, after you. I'm going in but I don't have to be first. If we could develop that kind of attitude more as we deal with one another in the body of Christ. I don't have to have my need met first. I don't have to get my word in first. I don't have to have you focus on me first. We're brothers and sisters, I can afford to have an "after you" kind of attitude because I know that God's been so good to me I'll always come out ahead. If I'm last in the dealings with people, I'm still way ahead because of what God has done for me. And so we learn to love people without compromise and we learn to practice devotion as we deal with others in the body of Christ.

Guest (Male): Consider these words from the Apostle Paul: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

You know, Destined for Victory could not exist without the faithful prayer and financial support of others, listening friends and partners like you. You've always been the lifeblood of this media ministry. And it's because of you that we can share the gospel of Jesus Christ with people all over the world. We hope you'll consider sending a generous gift today. When you do, we've got a great booklet to share with you as our way of saying thanks, and it goes right along with the message you heard, Improving Your Serve.

When Jesus was here with us, His was a life of service to His heavenly Father and also to us. He gave His life long before He hung on that cross. Improving Your Serve will help you understand the keys to developing a lifestyle of service. Again, that's the booklet titled Improving Your Serve, our gift to you today for your generous donation to Destined for Victory.

You can give by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500. Or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.

Paul Sheppard: I want to let you know that service comes at a price tag. It comes at a price tag of sometimes your personal comfort. It comes at a price tag of your wallet or pocketbook. You can't love people and see them in need and do absolutely nothing.

Guest (Male): That's tomorrow in our continuing message, Improving Your Serve. Until then though, remember: He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ. You are destined for victory.