Can't We All Just Get Along pt. 4 (cont'd)
Practical lessons about living in harmony with others; learning to avoid arrogance, hypocrisy, and insensitivity as we relate to others
Paul Sheppard: We have to learn that arrogance has no place in the kingdom. If Jesus, our perfect example, was not arrogant, then we have no right to be. And if we maintain an attitude of arrogance, we'll simply create hypocrites both of ourselves and of many of the other people around us.
Guest (Male): You may already know that God isn't finished with you yet, but it's equally important to remember that He isn't finished with anyone else yet, either. Hello and thanks for stopping by for today's Destined for Victory, where we feature the preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Sheppard.
Today we have an important message to share with you about the relationships we have with our fellow believers in Christ. Stay with us now to find out how we can show grace and understanding to one another, no matter what our personal struggles may be.
We hope you'll stay tuned, but we do want to remind you that you can always visit pastorpaul.net, where you can listen to any recent message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net. Or subscribe to our podcast at Spotify or wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Now, let's listen closely to Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message, "Can't We All Just Get Along?"
Paul Sheppard: Very rarely will we have consistency in every area. Let me give you an example. Some of the same folk who said you shouldn't drink socially because it could lead to drunkenness, or it could lead to you being controlled by alcohol, so then they raised up as one of the reasons why you should avoid alcoholic beverages, they raised up the issue of the possibility of control.
But then later I came to look at some of their lives and see that they didn't want you to drink wine occasionally, but they couldn't even start their day without coffee. Now, any time you can't speak to folk until you've made a Starbucks run, come on, somebody. Any time your coworkers know to leave you alone until they see that cup in your hand with the little paper part around it that you hold it so you won't burn your hand, and that little lid, you know how folk do.
Coming from Seattle’s Best and Starbucks and all that kind of stuff, and they come in and you see it and you say, "Okay, it's safe to speak because they've been sipping their coffee." You are hung up. If you can't be nice till you get caffeine, something's wrong with you. And the real issue is, who has the drinking problem?
I submit if you look at one person drinking an occasional dinner wine or what have you, and look at another person and they have to have two cups of coffee to be nice, I came to learn that the one with the wine didn't have the drinking problem. It was the one with the coffee. But in church, coffee seems more acceptable. You see what I'm saying?
And so you learn these lessons when you get away from an attitude of arrogance. When you talked about control, I remember the saints used to be hard on things like smoking. And again, who would argue that that's a habit that will destroy your temple and what have you? You need to believe God to help get you free from the bondage of having to suck on that cigarette that you know is doing you bodily harm.
I have no problems with that. But you can't be arrogant about it because, first of all, if that was never your struggle, you don't know what it's like to have to kick that habit. And it's easy for somebody who's never dealt with something to just pontificate and say, "Y'all just need to—that's a shame to let yourself be governed, your whole life be controlled by three inches of the little cancer stick, you need to—"
Well, see, it's easy to take that attitude because you were never controlled by it. You see what I'm saying? But let somebody who God has blessed to get free from it minister to people who are still there. First of all, they know how to embrace them, they know how to encourage them, and they know how to show them, "I can tell you that God can help you get free because I've been there."
And what you'll learn is while you didn't have certain hangups, you've got some other issues that maybe aren't on your radar yet because you've been so busy being arrogant about the few things that you think are knock-down-drag-out. For instance, there are some folk who are worried that you shouldn't be smoking because of its control over your life, and they can't pass by the refrigerator.
We're still talking about our temple. If the body is the temple and you shouldn't destroy it with cigarettes, well then it seems to me some of us need to take up the challenge to begin to try to struggle with the matter of becoming physically fit. And the point simply is, don't see one as a real problem and the other as a non-issue.
If you're going to talk about temples, well now let us make sure the playing field is even. Because if you can't walk by the fridge without getting something, you've got a problem. And what we should do is start out by acknowledging all of us have some kind of problem.
So rather than be arrogant with the other folk, just look at what you're struggling with and say, "God help me to win my own personal battles and help me to be a blessing to other people and to pray for other people who are struggling with theirs." Because for most of us Americans, eating is going to be a challenge somewhere along the line.
It's just built into our culture and they talk about it all the time and you know how obese we are as a society. And so that's something that ought to be on our radar, but I've seen some very legalistic holiness folk who you can tell have some kind of struggle. So no need for coming down hard on the world because of the few things, the top ten things you think everybody ought to get victory over. Go ahead and put yourself on the altar and say, "Lord, help me."
And the other thing is it creates hypocrites. Because again, when you pick and choose the few things that you want to rail on, then when people are really struggling with those, they don't feel comfortable to be open about it. And how are you going to get help if you can't acknowledge where you are?
I'll never forget, and I know in the church I grew up in, where we were dead set against some of these things. And again, I appreciate some of the values, but we just need to learn to be consistent about them. And so, I remember one of the young men in our church. I was driving down the street one day and he was on the corner.
I saw him as I approached. I could tell it was him. I was his assistant pastor. As I approached him, I saw that he was smoking a cigarette. And he knew that we didn't play that in church. But rather than acknowledge and say, "Here's where I am, here's what I'm struggling with, I need somebody to walk with me, help me, I'm believing God to get over this," we create hypocrites.
And he was standing there and as I approached him and I saw he had the cigarette in his hand, so I rolled down my window, said, "Hey, man!" And he looked at me and he threw his hand behind him. And you should have seen him trying to struggle, "Hey, how you doing? Hey!"
And he's trying his best to angle so that I wouldn't see the cigarette. We need to learn to be open. Here's where I am. If it's not God's best for me, here is where I'm starting from. You can't get where God wants to take you until you acknowledge where you are.
And he stood there, I'm sure he was burning his hand trying to hide from me. I've had over the years, as people have known my personal stance is no alcohol, even social drinking and what have you, that doesn't convert. I learned how to accept saints who still drink it if you can answer to God for it. But every now and then as a pastor, I've had to visit people's house and you see them going through all kind of changes.
Suddenly there have been times I heard them as I come up on the porch and somebody saw me, "Oh, the pastor’s coming! Lord, get that! Jesus! Savior!" Folk in there scrambling trying to put their stuff up. So I just walk slower because I realize they've got a little work to do.
And I want to tell them so bad, "I don't want it, y'all can keep it out." We have to learn that arrogance has no place in the kingdom. If Jesus, our perfect example, was not arrogant, then we have no right to be. And if we maintain an attitude of arrogance, we'll simply create hypocrites both of ourselves and of many of the other people around us.
And so this key is very important, this key of avoiding arrogance. Whatever you hold, whatever you believe as a matter of personal faith, hold that, be fully convinced of that, but don't impose on other people the guidelines that the Holy Spirit has given to you.
Because every now and then, if you walk with God, He will test you about something that's not necessarily sin, but He wants to deal with you to make sure nothing controls your life but Him. So you ever had God take you through a season where He said, "For this period of time, I don't want you practicing a certain freedom. I don't want you to go to certain places." Not that it's sin, it's just that I'm calling you away from that for a season.
And you'd be surprised, every year we have a consecration in our church and we ask people to not only consecrate through some form of fasting for that 40-day period, but we also challenge people to consecrate by giving up some of their customary pleasures.
And it never fails, every year there are people who testify, "I didn't realize how hung up on TV I was until I tried to give it up for a period of time, and I realized I was just bound, I was controlled and didn't know it."
And so the point is all of us have issues with which we will struggle to become more like Christ. And since you're dealing with a path, a pattern of becoming more like Christ, you have to learn to give that same right, that same freedom to others in the body of Christ, and not to pass judgment on disputable matters.
Guest (Male): Still ahead, the second half of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Sheppard. We want to make sure you know how much we appreciate you, our listening friends and partners. Our mission is to serve you by sharing the timeless truth for a victorious life, and one of the reasons we're able to do it is because of your prayers and financial support.
You're invited to prayerfully consider making a generous gift to Destined for Victory today. Call 855-339-5500 to make your gift over the phone, or give safely and securely online at our website, pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net.
When it comes to conflict and disagreements with others, the humble person looks in the mirror first, not out the window. Stay with us now for the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, "Can't We All Just Get Along?"
Paul Sheppard: Paul said, "Who are you to judge someone else's servant?" That's a sobering question. Because when you come to the point of judgment one day, I won't be the one there judging you. Your brothers and sisters won't be judging one another. We will all give account directly to God.
And therefore, we have to learn to avoid arrogance. And have you discovered that the more you get in touch with your issues, the less you want to be hard on other people anyway? You can tell the folk who aren't that in touch because they're still coming down hard on everybody. That shows the measure of denial in your life, the measure of deception in your life when you still are ruling with an iron fist.
You're still saying everything's got to be the way I want. You don't understand how messed up you really are. As a parent, you ought to learn how to be more loving and tender towards your children the more you get in touch with yourself.
Because we love sometimes creating standards for other people. But the fact of the matter is the more you see, "Man, I'm wrestling—" and if you haven't noticed it when you go through different seasons of life, there are some unique challenges to each season. It's not like as you get older, you have less challenges. That would be real nice.
But young folk have their struggles. Then you hit middle age and you find a new set of struggles. You've got to keep from losing your mind, keep from going crazy, keep from making stupid decisions trying to recapture your youth that's gone forever.
It's gone, baby, give it up, turn it loose! It's gone. You are middle-aged and trying to live in denial, still trying to be young, challenging young folk to stuff you can't win. Give it up, turn it loose. God's got a new plan for you at this season in your life. Find out what the middle-age calling is.
Strutting around still trying to be young, wearing stuff you have no business putting on your body! And you need to build the right kind of relationship so other brothers and sisters who are committed to helping you become what God wants you to be, give them permission to speak truth to you.
If you're in one of those funny seasons and you're in denial, don't shop by yourself. Take a trusted friend with you. Take somebody with you who loves you enough when you come out the dressing room, they say, "Turn right around and go right back in there. Don't you dare come out here looking like that, shaming me in front of all these people at Macy's."
New season, man. Got to learn. It's over, it's done. You brothers, you've got a gut now, don't unbutton your shirt all the way down. Nobody wants to see all of that! Button it up! What point am I on? You're messing up my message.
Avoid arrogance. You've got to learn how to get through every season of your life and the more you're in touch with your stuff, the easier you'll be to live with. Because you've got to learn to get in touch with where I am. I'm not there yet, but I hear some of the folk moving into their senior years saying, "I still got some struggles. Still got some issues I'm wrestling with. The enemy is still trying to make a fool out of me even in this season of my life."
And so since everybody at every turn, in every decade, you're going to have your own personal struggles, I suggest you don't have a whole lot of time to go around being the Christian police. You don't have a whole lot of time going around arresting folk for their own personal convictions that you don't share, for their freedoms that you don't like.
Have faith, be fully persuaded in your own mind about these issues, but then allow yourself to develop the discipline of being more focused on yourself in terms of weaknesses and criticisms than on other people. If you just must be hard—now I suggest you not be too hard on yourself because remember now, God is making us what He wants us to be.
The Holy Spirit's job is to make you what God wants you to be. When the Holy Spirit comes in, He comes in for your lifetime. Jesus said, "The comforter," John chapter 14, He said, "When I send the comforter, the Holy Spirit, He will abide with you forever." You know the Holy Spirit going to be with you forever because it's going to be a lifetime of stuff that He's dealing with you about.
And so since He comes in to deal with us, there will be those issues, but you'll notice the Holy Spirit doesn't condemn. He convicts. Condemnation passes judgment prematurely. Conviction says, "This is not God's plan, let's go about changing this." You can deal with conviction, but no one can deal with condemnation.
When you condemn me, you give me no hope. But when the Holy Spirit convicts me, there's hope. He says, "This is not my plan, there's my plan, now let's make the journey together." And I love the Holy Spirit because He never leaves me on the journey. He knows I'm frail, He knows I'm struggling, and He doesn't get fed up with me and sick of me. "I'm tired of you, just forget it, I'm leaving you."
Aren't you glad God doesn't do you like that? When you are at your worst, when you are in your flesh—the Bible says walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh, but you know as well as I do, there have been days since you have been saved and spirit-filled where you reverted to the flesh, where you're having one of those raw days.
Your flesh is hanging all out. You are not in the spirit. You are not thinking scriptures. And aren't you glad the Holy Spirit doesn't leave you? Now He's grieved. He says, "This is not my plan." And He'll deal with you. You hear yourself saying things you know you have no business saying and then you'll hear that still small voice.
Holy Spirit said, "What is that? What'd you just say?" He convicts because His job is to lead us into truth. And the more you realize that God is convicting you about things, you can learn to flow with that. So not even to be self-condemning, because if you're self-condemning, you still won't get where God wants to take you.
You have to realize if God gave me grace, I can give myself grace. I'm not talking about giving yourself license to just act like a fool all day every day. But when you fall short, that's why they put erasers on pencils, because every now and then you've got to erase something.
It's a gift God gives us, called confession. I'm able to say, "God, I messed up, I'm sorry, please forgive me." And here's what your Bible says: "If you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive you and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness."
So you learn not to be too hard on yourself. And then you can learn not to be too hard on other people. And the more you realize, "Well, God, I'm still under construction, so I suppose they are too. I suppose I ought to have the same standard. In fact, if anything, be a little more hard on yourself than you are on other people."
You know why? Because they have the Holy Spirit, if they're in Christ. God knows how to deal with them. We're all His kids and He's the ultimate parent. Good parents know their kids, and they know which ones you've got to be a little tougher on and in which ways you have to deal with them.
And you know the kind of kids that if you come down too hard on them, you'll just cause them to wither. And God knows all of us. He knows what we need and how we need it. And so we have to learn to avoid arrogance.
It will bless you in the kingdom of God as you get along with other believers. It'll bless you in your family life. It'll keep you from tearing up your house when you realize that your spouse and your children, your parents, whoever you're dealing with, are the products and the recipients of the same grace of God that you are.
And love has to cover a multitude of faults and sin. And we learn to do that the more we're in touch with what God is doing in our own lives.
Guest (Male): Each of us is capable of doing something we've never done, of struggling in an area in which we've never struggled. In the words of English reformer John Bradford, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Our passion at Destined for Victory is to continue to share Pastor Paul's preaching so that we can fulfill the mission God put on his heart to share timeless truth for a victorious life. I once spoke with Pastor Paul about what the victorious life meant to him and what he hoped it would mean to you. Here's what he said.
Paul Sheppard: Well, you know, when I think of victorious, my mind goes back—I'm a kid growing up watching TV in the '60s, so my mind goes back to the "Wide World of Sports." There was an announcer named Jim McKay. He had this classic line where he talked about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
And I love just thinking about how thrilling it is to be victorious. I love in any game I'm playing, I want to be victorious. I tell people I don't care whether it's Monopoly or something really serious, I want to win. And in life, we can win in Christ, and that's what the Bible tells us, that we are victorious in Him.
And victorious means that we're following His lead, that we're letting the Holy Spirit take us where He wants us to go in life. We're saved by His grace, and then we're simply following His direction. And of course, the Word of God is so key to following God's direction because the Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway.
And so those who tune into broadcasts like Destined for Victory are really supposed to be receiving guidance so that we can walk in and live in victory. And that's what I pray is happening as people tune in day by day.
Guest (Male): We say it every day on the broadcast: In Christ, you are destined for victory. And our prayer is that you will live the victorious Christian life every single day until the coming of our Lord Jesus. The Destined for Victory media ministry can often go to places missionaries can't, into remote areas of the world that are often hostile to the Christian faith.
We can also make it inside the homes of elderly shut-ins or those who can't always make it to church. One more reason why your gifts to Destined for Victory are so critical to the cause of Christ. When you give your generous donation today, we've got a booklet we'd love to share with you as our way of saying thanks. It's called Access Granted.
Based on the first eight verses of Romans chapter 5, this great resource examines what it means to be justified by faith. And it's because of this new relationship with God that believers have access to blessings like peace, grace, hope, even in the midst of trials or suffering.
Again, it's called Access Granted, and it's our gift to you today by request for your generous gift to Destined for Victory. If you'd like to give, we've got several options for you. Stop by pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. Call us at 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500. Or you can mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.
Paul Sheppard: The goal of the Apostle Paul as he wrapped up this letter to a very diverse church was to help them understand the importance of unity and agreement among God's people. And he had to do that while recognizing that there are differences that will not go away and differences that should not go away.
But we must learn how to make sure difference doesn't create division.
Guest (Male): And that's tomorrow in our message, "Can't We All Just Get Along?" Until then, remember: He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
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You were on trial. The verdict was guilty. And then Jesus stepped in and took your place.
Because of what He did, something remarkable has happened: access has been granted. Not just to forgiveness — but to peace with God, grace for your hardest seasons, and hope for everything still ahead.
In Access Granted, Pastor Paul E. Sheppard walks through Romans 5 to show you exactly what Christ has made available to you — and how to start living like you believe it.
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Featured Offer
You were on trial. The verdict was guilty. And then Jesus stepped in and took your place.
Because of what He did, something remarkable has happened: access has been granted. Not just to forgiveness — but to peace with God, grace for your hardest seasons, and hope for everything still ahead.
In Access Granted, Pastor Paul E. Sheppard walks through Romans 5 to show you exactly what Christ has made available to you — and how to start living like you believe it.
About Destined for Victory
Destined for Victory is the broadcast ministry of Pastor Paul Sheppard. You’ll be informed and inspired by practical, down-to-earth teachings blended with humor. Sermons air each weekday and are available online through our podcast.
About Paul Sheppard
Paul Earl Sheppard is the founding pastor of Destiny Christian Fellowship in Northern California. An effective communicator of God’s Word, Pastor Paul is widely known for his practical and dynamic teaching style which helps people apply the timeless truths of Scripture to their everyday lives. He also serves as speaker for the radio and online broadcast Destined for Victory.
Pastor Paul and his wife, Meredith, were married in 1982. They have two adult children, Alicia and Aaron.
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