Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Guest (Male): Hello and thanks for joining us today on Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. This is the Bible teaching ministry of Rick Warren, and today we are continuing in a series called The Miracle of Mercy. Rick will show us how God's mercy can lift your guilt, heal your wounds, and transform the way you live. And now the final part of a message called Showing Mercy to Your Family.

Rick Warren: The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:5, "Love is not rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable or touchy. Love," notice, "does not hold grudges." Circle the word grudges. It is interesting that rudeness and holding a grudge are in the same sentence because that is why people are rude.

You know this, right? Rude people are simply reacting to past hurts. The only reason anybody's rude is because they're holding on to a past hurt. When they're reacting to a past hurt, they can't relate to the present, and they certainly can't respond to the future. They're stuck in the past.

Rude people are stuck in the past, and they're letting past hurts continue to hold them hostage. And then they come and take it out on you. That's not fair. So as I said, hurt people hurt people. I want you to hear Rebecca's story. Give her a warm welcome.

Guest (Female): Pastor Rick has asked me to share a difficult lesson I've had to learn about how mercy teaches us to let go when people have hurt me, and also about the importance of teaching our kids to show mercy to everyone. The way that the Lord has led me to teach mercy to my children has been one of the most difficult processes of my life. I can honestly say that it is the area where the Lord has most radically changed my heart since I have chosen to follow Jesus.

In 2008, my world completely fell apart when I discovered my husband was having an affair. At the time, we had four daughters under the age of five. To say that I was deeply hurt and angry was an understatement. I'm not going to lie; at the time, I absolutely hated that woman for what she did to my family. That affair did break up my marriage and ended in divorce, which left me a single mom with four tiny daughters.

What kept the pain going was that my ex-husband began to slowly and surely introduce this woman to my daughters. There were times that I thought I would go nuts from frustration and from anger. How could he do this? How dare this woman have a relationship with my precious daughters? I'm fairly sure I didn't stop crying for about a year as I adjusted to this new normal.

Then four years ago, the Lord brought an unbelievably amazing man of faith and integrity into my life and the life of my daughters. It was really hard to trust again. I had been holding on to the pain and the hurt, but by God's mercy, I began to let it go. Within a year, I became his wife, and with him, I gained a stepson and he gained four stepdaughters.

We felt confident going into our new family dynamic, but nothing could have prepared me, truly, for the reality of life as a stepmom. I didn't understand what a challenge it would be to parent a child that was not my own. We know that 70% of all stepfamilies end in divorce in the first two years, and I can see why. Stepfamily dynamics are incredibly, tremendously difficult. Blending two family cultures peaceably is almost impossible without Christ right at the center and without an incredible support system like we found here in our church family.

We had the support, but even with rock-solid faith, it was really rough in the beginning. Just when I thought things were settling down, shortly after I married my husband, my ex-husband married the other woman. Now that's messy. She would be the stepmom to my daughters. But you know my Heavenly Father; He's been preparing me for this incredibly confusing season by making me a stepmother first.

God truly transformed my heart with His mercy by helping me to see the girls' new stepmother in a really different light. As I walked through my own personal difficulties trying to figure out just where I fit into my stepson's heart and into his life, I was now able to see this woman through eyes of mercy and empathy instead of anger and judgment.

Stepparenting is often said to be a thankless job, because it is. My ex-husband's wife is not just co-raising one stepchild like I am, but four. So when I see her sitting in the rain at my daughters' track meet for hours, yes, I'm going to thank her. That's letting go of past hurts. With eyes of mercy, I see and I truly appreciate all that she does for my girls, and no matter how unreceptive they might be, I want her to know it.

My girls can't always understand why I choose to champion someone that I'm supposed to detest, someone that they do sometimes have a hard time relating to. But I know they hear me. Do I still get frustrated with our co-parenting situation? Of course. I want us to have a healthy family dynamic with them because it's what's best for our children.

But in the meantime, the Lord is busy sanctifying me and helping me to practice mercy daily when every fiber of my being wants to do otherwise. Why do I practice mercy? Well, I know it's what God wants me to do, and I also know it's setting the example of mercy for my girls, who will face many hurts of their own in their lifetimes. I don't want them to get stuck in bitterness any more than I was, and I pray that my example will inspire them to do the same one day. In closing, I don't know who's hurt you. I don't know how they've hurt you. But I do know the antidote to that pain is mercy, and I hope you'll try it. Thank you.

Rick Warren: Now, fourth way, real quickly. Fourth way you can show mercy to a family member is by believing God is working in their lives, by believing that God is working in the lives of other people. You must believe that God is working in the life of your spouse even when you don't see it. You must believe that God is working in the lives of your kids even when you don't see it. You must believe that God is working in the lives of your other family members, your parents, even though you don't see it. You trust. You believe.

Faith and mercy and love and grace all go together. The Bible says that you have to trust God. 1 Corinthians 13:7: "Love always trusts." Not just trust other people; trust God. Love always trusts. Love is always hopeful, not hopeless. Love is always hope-filled, and love perseveres through whatever comes. Now, how do you know if you're trusting God for your marriage? How do you know if you're trusting God for your family? How do you know if you're putting your faith? Love always trusts. Love is always hopeful. Love always believes.

How do you know if you're trusting God for your marriage and family? Real simple: look at how much you pray about it. If you pray about your marriage and your family a lot, you're trusting God a lot. If you pray about your marriage and your family a little, you're trusting God a little. If you're not praying at all for your wife, your husband, your kids, your family, your parents, you're not trusting God at all. It is very clearly seen in your prayers. And that's why the Bible says in Psalm 28, "Lord, hear my prayer. Hear my prayer for mercy when I call you, when I call to you for help, when I lift my hands toward your most holy place." Last story. Would you give a warm welcome to Carol.

Guest (Female): Hi. Pastor Rick has asked me to talk about what I'm learning about the connection between prayer and mercy and between faith and mercy. In the fall of 2009, God started me on a journey of mercy when my youngest child Nathan was diagnosed with stage four cancer at age 11. It was, of course, an incredibly difficult time facing the vast unknown that a disease of this magnitude can bring, and also facing the horrible treatment that he had to endure for three years as a young boy.

It was truly a family crisis. My family and I had absolutely no way of knowing what the future would be like for Nathan or for us, so we were forced to learn how to rely on God's mercy and grace on a day-by-day basis, but mostly on a moment-by-moment basis. The Bible says love always trusts, always believes, and is always hopeful. So I had confidence that my child would be healed. I just didn't know if it would be here on earth or in heaven.

Faith in God's mercy is comforting when you know the future. As I turned to God to receive His overflowing grace and mercy, I was given emotional resources that I did not have on my own, and I was able to pour out mercy on my very ill son and our two other kids who were deeply stressed by their brother's illness. Through this very difficult time, God taught me an aspect of showing mercy that has been priceless to me and that might surprise you.

When we typically think of mercy, we think of doing kind things for others in tangible ways. You can see these visible acts of mercy. And of course, I was able to do many of these during Nathan's battle for survival. I'd make his favorite foods and let him eat in his room. I would distract him from his pain and nausea by watching movies or playing games with him. I'd take him fun places as often as he was able to go so we could share some fun and laughter.

But there were the endless doctor visits, and I'd have to take him to the ER in the middle of the night. I'd advocate and do anything I could to help him get better. These were all visible acts of mercy. But I believe the most profound way God taught me to show mercy was to pray for Nate. There was really very little I could do in his physical battle with cancer. I could not make his extreme pain, nausea, or fatigue go away. I could not get rid of the disease. I could not make his body fight infection.

However, because of the mercy of Jesus, as it says in Hebrews 4:16, I could come boldly to the throne of our gracious and merciful God by praying for him. There our entire family could receive God's mercy, and we could find the grace and strength to help us when we needed it most as a family. Just think about the power of this act of mercy. I could call upon the Lord of the universe, who is also the Prince of Peace, and ask Him to do things for Nate and to show mercy to Nate in ways that were far more powerful than mine or any doctor's.

I could ask the Comforter to bring His comfort in a real, tangible way to my sick son. In prayer, I could ask to fulfill the promise of Philippians 4:13, which says, "I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." And I could remind myself and Nate that God has promised over and over to never leave or never forsake us in our hour of need. Yes, I learned that praying for my family, trusting God, believing in His goodness, hoping in His power, and standing on the promises through prayer was likely the most powerful act of mercy I could do for my child in pain.

I could believe James 1:5 where it says, "If you need wisdom, ask our gracious God and he will give it to you." I'd then pray for wisdom to know the best ways to show mercy, and God would give it to me and our medical team. Most important of all, and as hard as it was to do this, through praying in faith, I was able to release my son in prayer to the loving God who gave him to our family in the first place.

His name, Nathan, after all, means God who has given. So I aligned my will for my son with the will of God by praying, "Your kingdom come, your will be done," and I was willing to trust God's mercy regardless of the outcome. I don't know why some prayers are answered the way we want and others are not. I just know God tells us to believe and pray.

In this particular case, we learned God's will for Nate was to recover from his cancer, and today he's a senior in high school and on his way to college in the fall. But even if the outcome had been different, my prayers for my child in pain were acts of mercy, and I have no intention of stopping them. You know, sometimes we treat prayer as a last resort rather than our first choice in showing mercy.

In times of tragedy or fearful circumstances, we often hear people say, "Well, all we can do now is pray," as if that's the last straw or option at showing mercy. But through this ordeal, I've learned that prayer is the best thing we can do in crisis or tragic loss or even ordinary daily circumstances. In closing, if you are not praying for your kids all the time or your spouse, you're missing out on the greatest influence for good in their lives and the most powerful act of mercy you can do. I hope you'll make it a priority. Thank you.

Rick Warren: Now this weekend, we heard four different moms, very unique moms, with four different family crises. But the solution was always the same, regardless of the problem in the marriage or the family: throw yourself on the mercy of God. Cast yourself on God's love and God's mercy. Now I don't know what crisis you're going through right now. Some of you may feel a little hopeless this morning.

Some of you are students in junior high, high school, college, and you're feeling hopeless at school. You need to do what these moms did with their family problems: you need to turn to God's love and God's mercy. There was a guy in the Bible who did this; his name was Jeremiah. His life fell apart, but he did not give up hope because he turned to the mercy of God. Last verse on your outline.

Jeremiah says this: "I will never, I will never, never forget this awful time," that he was going through. "As I grieve over my loss, yet I still dare to hope. I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends. By his mercies, we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness. His mercy begin afresh every day. That is the source of hope."

Now these four things that God expects you to do with your family, God does them with you every single day of your life. God overlooks and forgives your mistakes, your sins, your offenses, all the things that you do that offend Him. He overlooks and forgives them by His mercy every day of your life. God is kind to you when you need it, but you don't deserve it.

God wipes out and forgets all the things you've done wrong when you put your trust in Christ. He wipes it out, forgives, and then He forgets. And God is working in your life even when you don't feel it. Let's bow our head for closing prayer. Pray this prayer: Dear God, I need your mercy. I can't be merciful to others in my own power. I need you to be merciful for me.

Thank you, Jesus Christ, that you overlook and you forgive all of my offenses, offenses and my sins, by your mercy. Thank you, God, that you are kind to me when I need it, not when I deserve it, because I don't. Thank you, God, that you wipe out and you forget my past sins when I put my trust in Jesus Christ and what He did to pay for my sins.

And I want to accept your grace today. I want to accept your mercy today. Thank you, God, that you've been working in my life even when I didn't know it. I want to get to know you better. I want to learn to love you and trust you and to be a merciful person. In your name I pray, Amen.

You know, if you just prayed that prayer for the very first time, or you just recommitted your life to Jesus again today, would you let me know about it? There's something real about sharing your commitment. So write me, Rick@PastorRick.com, and say, "Rick, I prayed that prayer of commitment. I gave my life to Christ." And I'll send you some material that'll help you on your journey with Jesus, and I'll also pray for you. God bless you.

Guest (Male): Wow, what a great message from Rick today. You know, a lot of you already know that one of our deepest needs is to feel peace in a world that rarely slows down. But true, lasting, unshakable peace isn't found in circumstances; it's found in Jesus, the Prince of Peace. The Bible says His peace exceeds anything we can understand, and one of the surest ways to draw close to Jesus is by spending time in God's Word.

And that's why Pastor Rick created a 52-card scripture collection called Experiencing God's Peace. You know, as you read these verses, you'll steady your heart on God's truth. Let His peace wash over you and begin memorizing scripture so that you can recall it right when you need it most. And these cards aren't just for you; you can use them to encourage others. Give one to a friend and write a personal note on the back.

If a scripture speaks to you, frame it. Place these cards where you can see them throughout the day and be reminded that God is with you. Request your set of Experiencing God's Peace scripture cards when you give a gift to support Daily Hope and help share the hope of Jesus with a world in need. It's our way of saying thanks. Just go to PastorRick.com to get your copy of this great resource. That's PastorRick.com, or you can just text the word "Hope" to 70309. Again, that's the word "Hope" to 70309. Be sure to join us next time as we look into God's Word for our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.