Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Pastor Rick Warren: Everybody longs for deep, lasting love. But strong relationships, well, they don't happen by accident. And today on Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, we will bring our new series called Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life to a close.

In this series, Rick Warren shares practical biblical wisdom for building healthier, stronger, Christ-centered relationships. Whether you're single, you're dating, engaged, married, this series will help you grow in love, communication, and lasting commitment. And now, let's wrap up with the final part of a message called Growing a Love That Lasts.

You don't change bad behavior into good behavior by telling somebody they're bad. You change bad behavior by helping them see a picture of what they could become. Somebody could say to me, "Rick, you, you're not good at this, you're not good at this." I'd go, "Yeah, you're right. Let me tell you how bad I am at it."

But if they came to me and say, "You know what, Rick, I think you could really be good at this if you just do this. You, you could be this. You could be a man that your wife honors and loves, that the community respects, that your friends and, and, uh, and relatives want to be around. This is the kind of man you could be if you would really give your heart fully, 100% to Jesus Christ."

That gets me excited. Not telling me, you know, people say, "I, I've heard preachers say, 'Well, I just tell it like it is.'" That's a lousy way to preach. Because telling it like it is only reinforces the negative. You hear that on TV every day.

I don't tell it like it is, folks. I tell it like it could be. That's preaching for faith. That's preaching for expectation. That's preaching for what God wants to do in your life. So here's the key. You want to be a great lover? Treat people the way you want them to become.

You want your wife to treat you like a king? Treat her like a queen. The Bible says in First Corinthians 13:7, "If you love somebody," I love this in the Living. "If you love somebody, you'll always be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You'll always believe in him. Always expect the best of him. And always stand your ground in defending him."

First Thessalonians 5:11, "Encourage each other and build each other up." Do you know what Satan's favorite four words are? You can't do it. Satan loves to say that to people. He whispers it in your ear thousands of times in your lifetime, "You can't do it."

So every time you encourage somebody, you are defeating Satan in their life. Every time you just encourage them. You can do it. You can do it. Do you know what is the number one killer of love in marriage? It's not financial debt. It's not adultery. It's not anger. It's not hatred.

The number one thing that kills marriages is neglect. It's neglect. If I knew this was the last time I'd see you fall asleep, I'd tuck you in more tightly and pray your soul to keep. If I knew this was the last time I'd see you out the door, I'd hug and I'd kiss you one more time and call you back for more.

If I knew this was the last time I'd get to share your day, I know that I'd make certain it didn't slip away. We assume we'll always have tomorrow to correct an oversight. That we'll always have another chance to make everything all right. There will always be another day to say that I love you.

There will always be another chance to ask, "What can I do?" But just in case that I might be wrong, and today is all I get. I want to say that I love you so that you will not forget. Tomorrow is not promised. That we'll see another night. Today could be my last chance to love and hold you tight.

Instead of waiting for tomorrow, show your love somehow, for if tomorrow never comes, you'll wish you'd done it now. That you didn't take the extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss. Instead, you were too busy for that one that you now miss.

Hold your loved ones close today and whisper in their ear. Tell them that you love them and why you hold them dear. And say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. You're the best." And it's okay. So if tomorrow never comes, you will not regret today.

As a pastor who's done thousands of funerals, I've just seen that one in spades. Too little, too late. If you're going to give flowers, give them while they're alive. Don't wait for the funeral.

I want you to write this down. I must choose to expect the best from them every day. I must choose to expect the best from them every day. And then I want you to write down the name of somebody that you could choose to expect the best from this week because lasting love extends grace. And lasting love expresses faith. And lasting love expects the best.

And finally, the fourth thing this verse tells us in God's word is, and this is not, see, this is not self-help advice I'm giving you, this is from the Bible. This is what God says makes love. Lasting love, it doesn't just expect. It doesn't just extend. It doesn't just express. It endures. Lasting love endures the worst.

And this is where a lot of people fall out. It is persistent. It is determined. It is diligent. It is resolute. It refuses to quit. It is stubborn. The Bible says it like this in verse 7, "Love never gives up." The Bible says, "Love endures through every circumstance." The Bible says, "Love always perseveres." The Bible says, "Love never looks back, but keeps going to the end."

When Kay and I got married at 21 years of age, we closed the escape hatch on our marriage and we threw away the key. And we said, "We are in this for life. We're going to make this work if it kills us." It nearly did. Kay and I have been married 40 years, 38 wonderful years.

The first two years were hell on earth. And, um, many of you know this story that, uh, I was, I was making, uh, what was it, $400, no, no, I think I was making $800 a month, uh, teaching at a college. And, uh, we were so miserable in our marriage. We said, "We're going to go get counseling."

I never understood people say, "I can't afford counseling." How much is your happiness worth? So we went out and we spent for 15 weeks, $100 a week for counseling. That's what it cost. And I was making, you know what, $200 a week. So half my income was going to counseling.

I've often thought, I should do, we put it on a Mastercard, $1,500. I've often thought I should do a Mastercard commercial. Saved marriage? Priceless. I'd pay a million bucks for what I got today. My wife's my best friend, my lover, my partner, my companion, my ministry associate. I can't imagine, it would be, you wouldn't even be here. There would be no Saddleback Church if our marriage had fallen apart.

That's the best $1,500 bucks I'd ever spent. You can't afford not to get counseling if you're going through a tough time. I would encourage you. Love, the Bible says, "Never gives up. It always endures through every circumstance. It always perseveres. It never looks back."

Some of you are in a marriage right now that's not very happy and you are ready to give up. And I came here as a man of God to tell you this: don't. Don't you do it. You have no idea what you'll miss. It is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it. It is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it.

I know people who got divorced and got remarried in this church. I could give you a dozen examples of that one. I know what some of you are saying, "Rick, you just don't know. I have endured so much pain." Well, don't waste it. Don't say, "Well, I put up all those pains, so I just then ran away from it." At least get something from it.

I was in a Rouse's grocery store this week and a woman came up to me and she said, "You know, Pastor Rick, 10 years ago, my marriage was on the rocks. And we were headed for disaster, and destiny was divorce court. And I started coming to Saddleback Church and I would come to the Sunday night service at Lake Forest where on Sunday nights you would have pastors of the church line up at the front. And after the service was over, anybody who wanted prayer could come down and receive prayer from one of the pastors of the church." She said, "I was there every week, month after month after month. Those prayers saved my marriage."

She says, "10 years later, we're happily in love. Things are going great. I'm so glad we didn't quit. It's always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it." Now, I don't know why, but I want to just close with two verses. And I don't know who these verses are for. But these are the last two verses I want to share with you.

Hosea 3:1, "Then the Lord said to Hosea, 'Go and get your wife again. Bring her back to you and love her, even though she loved adultery.'" I don't know who that's for, but that's for somebody.

Then others of you, some of you have a spouse or you've got a friend, uh, or you've got, uh, a loved one or a partner or somebody who's walked away from God. And they have walked away from God and say, "I don't even believe in God anymore." And God says, "I do not want you walking away from them."

They need you now more than ever. Let me show you a couple verses that will blow your mind. Look at this verse on the screen. Job 6:14, this is the Bible. "A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty." You know what this verse says?

When you are in such a place, you go, "I don't even know if I believe in God right now. I am in so much pain. I don't even know if I believe in God." You need a small group that goes, "That's okay. We'll believe God for you. We'll just hang on to you. Lay down on the stretcher. We'll carry you on the stretcher."

"A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty." When a friend, a husband, a wife, or somebody walks out on God, you do not walk out on them. They deserve the devotion of the friends even though we forsake the. Let me, let me, one last verse on your outline is the same verse in another translation. "When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends at least should stick with them."

And that's a verse for somebody here today too. Now I want you to notice that these four things, these loving choices, extending grace, expressing faith, expecting the best, enduring the worst, you know what these are? This is how Jesus loves you. This is how Jesus loves you.

Jesus extends grace to you. He died for you. Jesus expresses faith in you. You say, "How's that?" Well, in the first place he gives you the freedom to make choices. And that's risky because you could reject him. He doesn't force you to love him. He gives you the freedom of choice. He, he expresses, expresses faith in you. He expresses, expects the best from you. He knows your potential. Nobody knows it more than God does. And he never gives up for you.

Never gives up on you and he's waiting for you to come home. Some of you have been away from God for a long time. You're coming home this weekend. Today, right now. It's time to come back to God. Now, let me give you a little secret. If this is the way God loves you, this is the way Jesus loves you. If you want to learn to love people the way Jesus loves, here's the secret. Get Jesus in you.

Ask God to put the Spirit of Jesus Christ in you. Nobody can be Jesus like Jesus. So you don't need to imitate him. You just need to inhabit him. And let him inhabit you. And only with him in your life will you ever be able to treat people the way that God says everlasting love does. Let's bow our heads.

Father, I know that there are many people hurting here today. There are people who are lonely, and they want desperately somebody to love them. They want to love and be loved. And we, we honor that. And I ask you to bring somebody in their life that would cherish them. And give them that love that they, they deserve and they need. I know that you love them. I know that this church loves them. I know that this is a family that loves.

But we ask you to bring people into the lives of those who want to love and be loved. And Lord, whether we ever marry or not, we need to learn this lesson of love. Because you've called us to love everybody, even our enemies. Even the foreigner, the immigrant, the, the people who are different from us in religion, lifestyle.

Lord, we are not allowed to not love anybody if we claim your name. I pray that we would feel your grace so we can extend it to others. I pray that we would understand the freedom that you've given to us so that we may express that faith and freedom to others.

Thank you, Lord, that you don't drag us down and nag us down, but you build us up. Help us to do that with others. Thank you that you've never given up on us. God, I thank you that Kay and I never gave up on our marriage, but I'm more thankful that you never gave up on our marriage.

And for those who are just teetering and wavering right now, some who are on the verge of an affair, some of them are out in a full-blown one right now. Bring them back to you lovingly in a new sense. Make Saddleback Church be known as that's the place where they build marriages, where they build relationships, where they build families, where they build friendships, where they build small groups, where people learn the relational skills they didn't learn in school or at home or anywhere else.

If you've never opened your life to Jesus Christ, you can't do this. So you need to say this. Jesus Christ, as much as I know how, I ask you to put your love in my life. Just say that. Jesus Christ, as much as I know how, I ask you to put your love in my life. Take away the distrust and fill me with trust. Take away the shame and guilt and fill me with grace. Take away the cynicism and the hurt and fill me with faith. Take away the despair and fill me with hope.

And even when I have to endure the worst, Lord, would you give me the strength to go through the valley of the shadow of death and to fear no evil? Father, thank you for those who are making decisions for you today. We commit them to you in your name. Amen.

If you just prayed to receive Jesus, congratulations. We would love to send you some free materials to help you along on your spiritual journey. Just email rick@pastorrick.com. That's rick@pastorrick.com.

And now, let's hear how lives are changing through Daily Hope. Here's Rick with a letter from one of our listeners.

Pastor Rick Warren: You know, we get letters and emails from people all around the world and from all ages. And here's one that I got from a listener in Indonesia. His name is Steven, and he's 12 years old. He wrote, "Dear Pastor Rick, Thank you for the powerful way that you've impacted my life. I'm just a 12-year-old schoolboy in Jakarta, Indonesia, but I listen to the broadcast every morning on the way to school. My life has changed completely this year. I'm at a new school and my family's just about recovered from some financial problems, but I'm still having to learn a whole new way of life. Some days I really feel bad and I ask God to help me, but then the Daily Hope broadcast comes on the radio and he always says something to helps me feel better, and I know that at that moment, God is trying to speak directly to me through you. So thank you ever so much."

Well, thank you ever so much, Stephen. I love hearing from people like you, literally all around the world who've been impacted through, through Daily Hope. You know, by the way, I want to thank all of those of you who support us regularly with your financial gifts every month. We can't do this without you. But because of you, we're able to minister to people like this 12-year-old, uh, boy, Stephen in Jakarta, Indonesia.

You're never going to know this side of heaven the number of lives that you have impacted because of your gifts to Daily Hope. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. When we get to heaven, we're all going to rejoice and see the results there. Be sure to join us next time as we look into God's word for our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.