Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Guest (Male): Hello everybody, welcome to Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope. This is the Bible teaching ministry of Rick Warren. Hey, we’re so glad you’re here with us today. We are continuing in a series called Talking About Stuff That Matters.

Now in this series, Rick looks into the scriptures and he’s unpacking what it means to live in community, have real conversation about what matters most, and face discouragement with courage and faith. It’s honest, hopeful, so stay tuned. You won’t want to miss a second. All right, here’s part two of a message called Being a Disciple in the Digital Age.

Pastor Rick Warren: Let me give you a third hazard. I can be drawn into unproductive arguments. Oh baby, this is very, very easy, particularly in social media. Have you ever heard somebody say something really outrageous and you got offended really quickly by it and you thought, well, I need to tell them off? I need to set them straight. I need to respond. Every bone in your body wants to just obliterate them because of what they just said.

Like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Okay, you’ve read stuff online and you go, that is so wrong. That’s just not right. They attacked somebody I like or love or whatever. It’s an easy way to get drawn into an argument. I understand how you feel, but don’t. Don’t respond when those arguments start up on the internet.

Here’s what the Bible says. Titus chapter three, verse nine. Never—and that means never—get involved in foolish controversies, useless arguments, disputes about your personal pedigree—that means issues about your family history, your ethnic background, your genealogy, that kind of stuff—don’t get in an argument over that or fights over interpreting God’s law, how you interpret a particular thing. All of these, God says, are useless and do not help anyone.

So it’s pretty clearly: don’t get involved in fights and arguments. That would apply to the internet, too, not just at the office. The fact is, there are people who live to hook you. There are trolls out there who love—their adrenaline goes up when they hook somebody for a fight. They don’t even care what you believe. They just like to fight. And they like to argue.

And you think, well, I’ll set them straight. But they’re using motivated reasoning, which means no matter what you say, it’s not going to work. Finally, you’re going to, after so many times you respond to them back and forth, you’ll find this is worthless. It’s not going anywhere. They are not going to change. You’re not going to change them. They just like to fight.

And if they throw something out that’s very threatening or provocative and then you respond to it, they go, "Hah, I hooked a live one. I’m going to reel him in now." Now they’ve got somebody to fight with, because they don’t really feel alive unless they’re mad. It’s a problem. It’s a mental problem. They don’t feel alive unless they’re mad and they’re going to just roll and hook you in.

Now, let me show you some verses about this on the screen. Proverbs 26:21. Just as charcoal and wood keep a fire going, a troublemaker keeps an argument going. They’re not going to let you off the hook. They’re going to keep on arguing until you give up. They’re not going to give up. So he says, don’t do that. What does God say to do with those kind of people?

Here’s what he says on the screen. Proverbs 26:4. Don’t answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are. You’re going to look as dumb as they do. Just don’t get hooked. Now, I highly recommend that instead of worrying about what other people think, what people think about you is none of your business. What people think about me is none of my business. It doesn’t have any degree of influence on my happiness.

Don’t be worrying about what other people think. Instead, here’s what you should be worrying about. Matthew 12:36. Jesus said, you can be sure that on the judgment day, you will have to give an account to God of every careless word you have ever spoken. That includes one written in social media and on the internet.

One day, you’re going to give an account of every foolish, useless, mean, and whatever words that you used on the internet or anywhere else. You’re going to give an account to God. Now, that ought to be enough to muzzle my mouth and zip my lip. But not only that, now you know this: whatever you say on the internet is permanent, global, and searchable.

It’s never going away, which is why you need to teach your kids. Don’t do that. Don’t say stuff on the internet thinking it’s no big deal, because when you’re in the ninth grade or tenth grade you think, well, I can say that and I’m just mad at so-and-so, and then 50 years later they’re going to pull it out in your Senate hearing.

It will come back. Any employer can look up anything you’ve ever said on the internet. So it’s not only is God keeping a record, so is the internet. And it’s permanent, it’s global, and searchable. So zip the lip. What causes us to get hooked into those kind of arguments? Well, in a word, it’s ego. It’s ego.

When Kay and I got married many moons ago, the first Bible verse we memorized together—we’ve memorized a lot of scripture together, I would highly recommend you do that with your spouse—well, the first verse we memorized, we memorized it on our honeymoon because we needed it on our honeymoon. We were having conflict on our honeymoon. Proverbs 13:10 says this: pride always causes conflict.

Pride always causes conflict. Anywhere you find conflict, it’s because ego is involved. I want what I want, you want what you want, neither of us want to back down. When my pride hits your pride, that’s what’s causing the conflict. A good dose of humility is what you really need to do before you go online and pick up that phone.

All right, number four, let me give you another one. Another hazard of a smartphone is I can be tempted to compete and show off. I can be tempted to compete and show off. Now, we always want to put ourselves in the best light. We want everybody to think our lives are perfect. We want everybody to think we’ve got it all together.

What happened is this new entity called social media is a place to show off. That’s what it is. And when I go on social media, I always want to put my best foot forward. You never post a picture of yourself when you just got out of bed and there’s drool coming down your cheek here and you can smell the body odor on you and there’s laundry over in the corner.

No, no, no. It’s my so-called perfect life. Instagram reported that over half of the pictures posted on Instagram are Photoshopped. They’re not reality. They want everyone to look good. And so I want everyone to see how cool I am. I want everyone to see how smart I am. I want everyone to see how rich I am.

I want everyone to see how happy, how fun I am, how perfect my marriage is, how brilliant my children are. People are actually showing off through their kids and grandkids. Boy, it got quiet. And look how loved we are. Look how loved I am. That’s just showing off. Because of that, the worst kind of showing off—you know what it is? God hates this more than any other kind: spiritual showing off.

When you’re trying to appear spiritual in front of others. It’s called self-righteousness. It’s the sin that Jesus hated in the Pharisees. He said this about the Pharisees, the religiously: everything they do is for show. They pray for show. They sing for show. They give their offerings to show off. He said everything they do is for public consumption.

And God hated that. He said they’re hypocrites. And so what happens today is people are using social media to show off their spirituality. Stop it. If you go and let’s just say I say, I’m going to take a picture of me having a quiet time and I’m going to spend time alone with God. Here I am trying to focus on God.

And look at the scripture I’m covering. I’m in Habakkuk. I bet you’ve never read Habakkuk. Okay, and I’ve underlined this verse and I’ve memorized it. I’ve got my little latte here and it’s a beautiful sunset and my Bible and I’m looking so spiritual. Click. You can’t do that. Okay, that’s just showing off.

All right, I want you to write something down. Would you write this sentence down? I can’t be in the moment while I’m trying to capture the moment. I can’t be in the moment while I’m trying to capture a moment. Please, as your pastor, I’m begging you to never take another shot of your quiet time. That’s just showing off. And Jesus hates it.

You ought to have a quiet time with God every day, but it ought to be between you and God. You will never see a quiet time of me anywhere. Why? Because if I’m focusing, if all of a sudden my quiet time I’m taking a picture of it, I’m staging it for production. It’s not real, it’s not authentic. I’m not focusing on God. I’m focusing on, I wonder if everyone’s going to like this on Instagram.

All of a sudden I’ve taken the wrong motivation for this. I can’t be in the moment while trying to capture a moment. I want to show you a picture up here. Tell me which of these people is really enjoying the moment. It’s all these pictures of everyone’s got their phone out trying to take a shot, and then there’s this little old lady here with no camera, just smiling, enjoying. She’s the one who’s enjoying the moment.

Everybody else is trying to capture the moment. And so she’s the one who’s fully there. This is one of my problems today is that now wedding photographers have taken over the weddings. And the whole thing’s so staged, it’s all about, "Now, please stand here, please do this, please stand here." I understand the need for nice pictures.

But we can’t even have a moment because it’s all about the picture. Who’s actually enjoying the moment? Because it’s all being staged for somebody and something else. I can’t be in the moment while trying to capture a moment. Now Jesus has a lot to say about this. He says in Matthew chapter six, verse one—this is in the Sermon on the Mount: Be careful—there’s that word again, don’t be careless, be careful—be careful, don’t do your acts of righteousness publicly to be admired by others. If you do, you will lose your reward from your Father in heaven.

Wow. If I take what I’ve just done, a good thing, and I post it on the internet, that’s all the reward I’m getting because I just lost it. If I did it in secret, in my lifetime I’ve probably prayed with almost every president in my lifetime. You will never, ever see a picture of me praying with somebody or at least somebody important, famous like that.

Because what does that do? If I wanted to, I could post almost every day a picture of me and a celebrity. What does that do? Does that draw us closer? No. It’s like, who do you think you are? Well, goody for you. When you show off, it builds barriers. It doesn’t build fellowship. It doesn’t draw you closer to anybody.

You go, well, how come your life’s so perfect and mine’s not and you get to do exciting things and I don’t? No, no. If you want to draw people close to you, do the opposite. Share the problems that Jesus is helping you with. People go, "Oh, well, if God’s helping Rick with that problem, then maybe he could help me, too."

It’s the exact opposite of what the world values and what’s being posted on there right now. Let me show you a few more verses. 1 Corinthians 4:7. Who says you’re better than others? What do you have that was not given to you? In other words, by God. And if it was given to you by God, why do you brag as if you did not receive it as a gift?

Really, I can’t brag about anything because any good that’s been happening in my life is because God did it in me, for me, through me, to me, or used somebody else to do it with me or to me or for me or through me. It’s really all God. The breath I’m breathing right now is a gift of God. The heart that I have is a gift of God. The brain that I have is a gift of God. The talent that I’ve used to do something with my life is a gift of God. I had nothing to do with it. It was just put in me by God.

So why in the world can I be proud about it? Because it was just a gift. And the same thing is true for you. So we have no real reason to brag except on the goodness of God. The Bible says this on the screen, Galatians 6:3. If you think you’re better than others when you really aren’t, you’re just deceiving yourself. And one more verse, the Bible says 1 Peter 5:6. So be content with who you are and don’t put on airs. What does that mean? Don’t show off on the internet.

Don’t put on airs, don’t pretend you’re somebody you’re not. Be content with who you are, don’t put on airs, just be the real you. God’s strong hand is on you and he’ll promote you at the right time. Now, see that word "promote"? A lot of people are using internet, particularly social media, to promote themselves.

See how cool I am? See how smart I am? See how attractive I am? See my pretty new clothes. And they’re using themselves to promote themselves, thinking that they have to promote themselves. Friends, you don’t have to know the key men if you know the man who holds the keys. And if you are a child of God, you’re a son of God or a daughter of God, it says he’ll promote you at the right time when he knows you’re ready.

And he can put you at the front of the line any moment, far more than 10 years of self-promotion on the internet. So stop it. God says you can choose. Either you can promote yourself or let me do it. Who do you think will do a better job? I’m inviting you to change the way you look at social media.

Let me give you two more. Number five, the fifth hazard is I can get addicted to the approval of others. I can get addicted to the approval of others. Now what is it that makes social media so addicting? I have to go back and check. I have to go back and check. This 80 times a day thing of looking at your phone. 80 people aren’t phoning you every day. So what are you doing looking at your phone 80 times a day?

Well, if it’s social media, here’s the science behind why it’s so addicting. Everybody wants the approval of others. We desperately need and desperately want the approval of others. We all want to be liked. So when you post something on the internet, then you’re anxiously waiting, is anybody going to like it? Is anybody going to like it?

And so you’re waiting with bated breath. Is anyone going to like this? And all of a sudden you get a ding and you get a like and you go, "Ooh, I got a like, I got a like." And what happens is in your brain, it releases dopamine. And then a few minutes later you get another ding. "Oh, I got another like." Ding-ding, I got two more, I got four likes. They like me, they like me, they really like me. Ding-ding-ding-ding. And dopamine is going off in your brain.

It’s the exact same thing that when they give a rat cocaine, it’ll keep going back, going back, going back for another hit, another hit. It’s a scientific, biological fact that when you get a like, it releases dopamine in your brain and that can become addicting. And all of a sudden you’ve got, whoa, look at this, nine people like me in the world.

They don’t know you, they may not even speak your language, they may be a bot, but you got nine likes right there and you then feel good about yourself. And that creates—here’s the problem with this. When we do this, we get more interested in the opinions of people we don’t know than the people around us. And we ignore the people around us while we’re busy looking at the screen.

Let me show you a couple of cartoons. Here’s a woman with her, I guess her husband or boyfriend, and she says, "Do you mind if I strap your phone to my forehead so I can pretend you’re looking at me when I talk?" Ouch. Yeah, okay. And then here’s another one. Cell phones bring you closer to a person far from you, but it takes you away from the one sitting next to you. That’s a profound spiritual truth.

Cell phones bring you closer to a person far from you, but it takes you away from the one sitting next to you. And you can be sitting at a table with everybody in your family and you’re more interested in what a visitor or a stranger is thinking and saying than the people who are around you. That’s a problem. And if you’re going to spend 11 years of your life doing that, that’s not going to be very good on your relationships.

All right, let me show you some scriptures. Galatians 1:10. Paul says, am I trying to win the approval of people or the approval of God? Am I trying to be a popular people-pleaser? No. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be the servant of Christ. I just talked about this. You got to choose, am I going to be a God-pleaser or a people-pleaser?

Couple of other scriptures. James chapter two, verse one. Dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious Christ-originated faith. They don’t have anything to do with your faith, so don’t let public opinion decide what you believe. Don’t let public opinion decide how you act. Don’t let public opinion decide how you feel. Because they’re headed in the wrong direction anyway.

One more. Ecclesiastes 7:21. Don’t pay attention to everything people say. Oh, time out. We need to tattoo that on our arms right down there. If you hold your phone like this, tattoo it here on the inside. Don’t pay attention to what everybody says. Okay. The Bible says this: don’t pay attention to everything people say. That means you can’t pay attention to everything on social media or anything else. Or you may hear someone insulting you, for you know that you’ve insulted others many times. He says, what you give out, you’re going to get back. What you sow, you’re going to reap. And he goes, you know at some point you’ve said stuff and so somebody’s going to say something about you and then it’s going to ruin your day. Don’t pay attention to everything people say. God says that.

Guest (Male): That was such an encouraging message from Pastor Rick. And now, to encourage us more, here’s Rick with a letter from one of our listeners.

Pastor Rick Warren: Friends, you are so essential to this ministry of Daily Hope. Your prayers, your support help us reach more and more people around the world. I was really blessed today when I read this note from Edward, and he talks about how he’s learning from Daily Hope while he’s working with inner-city kids right here in America. He wrote this:

Dear Pastor Rick, I’m a middle school teacher and it’s a real challenge every morning waking up and coming to my school to teach. I teach at a school where 100 percent of our students need financial help just to eat lunch. In other words, it’s in a very poor section of a city. He says, I listen to your Daily Hope message during my break and I usually give my students bits and pieces of it. Today, I told them to think about what they can do for others if they truly want to be happy. Pastor Rick, thank you for making your Daily Hope messages free. I’m able to keep listening to them until I really understand what you’re teaching.

Well, Edward, you are making a real difference. I’m so proud of you for working with those inner-city students. You’re giving them a message of hope and healing and help. And you’re helping them to understand that by giving their lives away to help other people, they bring new meaning and significance to their own lives. And I am praying, Edward, that today you’ll be encouraged, not just today but every day as you go to school, knowing that what you do is making a difference in students’ lives for eternity. God bless you.

Guest (Male): Hey, if you’ve been blessed by this teaching, as I have, please share it with your friends and family members. You can do it right from our website, pastorrick.com. From there, it’s easy. You click on the listen tab and you’ll find all of Rick’s teachings and the share buttons that enable you to send it to your friends or family by email or social media links. Be sure to join us next time as we look into God’s word for our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope and your generous financial support.