Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Guest (Male): Hello and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope with Rick Warren. We are so glad you're here with us today. We're going to continue our series called The Keys to a Blessed Life. In these messages, Rick walks through Jesus' Sermon on the Mount and shows us how to live a truly hopeful and purpose-filled life. Okay, we're continuing with Part Two of The Strength of Gentleness.

Rick Warren: Number four. This is a really big one, particularly if you're looking for a husband or wife. Number four, gentleness is attractive. The Bible says if you want to be more attractive, you need to learn to be more gentle in your life.

Now this is true in both men and in women. Now one of the laws of life is I attract what I am. I don't attract what I want, I attract what I am. If you want to attract a godly man, you have to be a godly woman. If you want to attract a godly woman, you have to be a godly man. You can't be some rude dude in a crude mood and say I really want one of those good women. No, you will attract what you are and so gentleness attracts gentleness and godliness attracts godliness.

Now since we've got a bunch of singles in this service, for some guys, let me show you this. First Timothy 6:11 here on the screen. Here's a verse I'm going to give a verse for guys and a verse for gals. First Timothy 6:11: As a man of God, and I want all of you guys to be men of God, as a man of God, pursue what God approves of. And then he gives you the five marks of a godly man.

This is Paul talking to Timothy. He's mentoring his son in the ministry. He says pursue what God approves of. And here are the five things that make a godly man: godliness, faith, love, endurance, and oh by the way, gentleness. Gentleness. Now he says God approves of godliness. What is godliness? It means I'm trying to let Jesus live through me. I want to be like God, I want to be like Christ, I want to be Christ-like. That's godliness.

And then he says another mark of a man of God is faith. I trust God in every area of my life. Another mark of a man of God is love. You're loving, you're unselfish. Another mark of a man of God is endurance. You don't give up, you don't quit. You have endurance, you have diligence, you have determination. And then one of the marks of a man of God is gentleness. That is strength under control and that is attractive.

Now I don't want to belabor this point but for you single guys, I want to give you a little advice tonight because Dr. Love is in the house. All right, Dr. Ricky Love, here he is. Guys, if you want to attract a good woman, you need to do what Boaz did. Who, Boaz? Where is he? In the Old Testament. Where is it? Look it up.

No, no, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. Boaz is in the story of Ruth, named after her in the book of Ruth. Now here's the story of Boaz. Boaz is a young businessman and he is pretty successful. And one day he looks out on his field and he sees some stragglers taking from his crop. Now he'd already harvested a crop but there's a little leftover and a lot of times homeless people or very poor people would go out into the fields that had already been harvested and find the little extra. This is called gleaning.

And he looks out and he sees one of these people is a woman named Ruth. And she's very, very poor because her husband has died. She's a widow. She's young but her husband has died. And Ruth decides I'm going to take care of my aged mother-in-law. Her husband has died, she has no legal responsibility to take care of her mother-in-law but she goes, this is what God would want me to do.

So I'm going to take care of my aged mother-in-law even though my young husband has died. And so she's out here picking grains in the fields, in Boaz's field. Now Boaz could have gone out, he could have been rude, he could have been ruthless, he could have been demanding and he could have said get off my property. This is my property, you don't have any right to be harvesting my grain. It's my grain and if I want to leave it out there, I can.

But he was not rude, he was not ruthless, he was not crude. In fact, he was gentle with Ruth. And not only does he allow her to pick, he says I've got enough, let her pick some grain on my crops. Go ahead and let her do it. He then commends her, he compliments Ruth for taking care of her aged mother-in-law. And he compliments her. And he's very kind and if you read the whole story, he's very gentle with this total stranger.

And so then Ruth responds this way in Ruth chapter 2 verse 13 and 14. Ruth said to Boaz, "You are very kind to me. You have made me feel better. You have made me feel better by speaking gently to me." Pause. Guys, a woman always feels better when you speak gently to her. When you're not in a hurry, when you're not rushing, you're not rude, you're not forceful, a woman always feels better when you speak gently to her.

"You have made me feel better by speaking gently." And so it's going good, so Boaz invites her out to lunch. And then at lunchtime, Boaz says to Ruth, "Come have a piece of bread with me and dip it in the sauce." Now you thought fondue was Swedish. 2,000 years before anybody said the word fondue, Boaz is dipping in the sauce with Ruth. And it says then Boaz passed some roasted grain to eat, a little granola, and she ate it until she was satisfied and she still had food left over. He gives her a doggy bag.

Now this is a good thing. He's being kind, he's being gentle. Now here's an interesting thing. Out of that simple incident because he was kind and because he was gentle, they end up becoming an item, falling in love, and getting married. Now why is that story even in the Bible? Because Ruth was not even Jewish. And it was illegal for a Jewish man, Boaz, to marry a non-Jewish woman. But he did and God had a plan in it.

And in Matthew chapter 1, where it gives the genealogy of Jesus Christ the Messiah, there are four women mentioned in that genealogy and one of them is not even Jewish, her name is Ruth. And God used that marriage as one of the marriages to bring the Messiah into the world. And it all happened because Boaz was gentle with a woman he didn't even know. Now here's the point. If Boaz had been ruthless, he would have been Ruth-less.

I've waited all week to share that with you. Come on, that's pretty good, right? If Boaz had been ruthless, he would have been Ruth-less. And all of that history would not have happened. But it all started with him just being gentle. Would you write this down? Gentle men are gentlemen. Gentlemen are gentlemen. The way you become a gentleman is by being gentle.

Now that's for the guys. Let me talk to you women for just a minute. Gentleness is attractive not just on a man but gentleness is attractive in women too. First Peter chapter 3 verse 4 says this, talking to women: "You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." Now I want you to circle the word unfading.

God says I want you to focus on unfading beauty. I hate to tell you this, ladies, but your beauty is going to fade. In fact, all men and all women our beauty fades. Some of us our beauty started fading about year one. We were cute as babies. But he says there is an unfading beauty that is attractive. And what is that unfading beauty that is attractive? The beauty of a gentle spirit. Gentleness is attractive.

Number five. The fifth reason why you want to learn this quality in your life is that gentleness communicates love. Gentleness communicates love. It diffuses conflict, it disarms critics, it's persuasive, it's attractive, and gentleness communicates love. Guys, those of you who are husbands and are married, the quickest way to improve your marriage, the quickest way to improve your marriage, is to start talking to your wife more gently.

It'll do wonders if you'll begin to talk to your wife in a more gentle way. Colossians chapter 3 verse 19: "Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them." Any fool can be selfish. Any fool can be rough. Any fool can be rude. But gentlemen are gentlemen. Now this is true not only in marriage. The key a great marriage is simply the union of two great forgivers. Because you're going to hurt each other a lot in life.

I've been married to Kay 38 years. I've hurt her so many times and she's hurt me so many times but we're both great forgivers. And that's part of gentleness. Now it's not only a key to effective marriage, gentleness, you're going to need this someday, is the key to effective parenting. Never discipline, I said, out of anger or frustration but always gently out of love.

Ephesians 6:4: "Fathers, do not irritate your children. Do not provoke your children to anger." In other words, don't do things that make them intentionally upset. "Do not exasperate your children to resentment." What does that mean? It means don't raise the standard so high there's no way they can meet it. You ask for Bs and they get Cs, then you ask for Bs and they get Bs, then you ask for As and you want straight As. He said don't exasperate your kids asking for perfection in their life.

"But rear them tenderly," in other words, gently. "Rear them tenderly, gently in the training and in the discipline and in the counsel of the Lord." I can honestly say to you that I never remember my father ever raising his voice against me growing up. Not one time. Did he ever get angry? Of course he did. Was he ever upset with me? Of course he was upset. Did I ever really blow it and have every reason for him to get angry? Many, many times, almost on a daily basis. But he was a gentle man. He had strength under control and he would not yell at me. Gentleness communicates love.

Number six. This is an important one. Gentleness earns respect. Proverbs 11 verse 16: "Women, if you want to be respected as a woman, here's what the Bible says. A woman of gentle grace will be respected." A woman of gentle grace will be respected. That's also true of men. But when I think of that verse, a woman of gentle grace will be respected, I think of Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa was this little, I mean diminutive, barely four and a half feet, maybe five feet tall at the most. I don't think she was even that tall. Quite frail, quite small, diminutive little Romanian nun. But she could walk into the United States Congress and put the fear of God in every power broker in that room. Why? Because gentleness earns respect and she had earned that respect. Gentleness, by the way, is a prerequisite to leadership.

If you want to be a leader in any area of life, you're going to have to learn what we're talking about tonight. If you want to be a leader in the church, if you want to be a leader in government, if you want to be a leader in business, if you want to be a leader in your home, if you want to be a leader in your community, in your school, or in any other organization, every great leader is a gentle leader.

The greatest leaders of all time were the most gentle, Jesus being the supreme example. But for instance, the greatest president in our history was Abraham Lincoln. No one was more gentle than Abraham Lincoln. And he even showed gentleness in the way he treated the defeated Southern states with respect and brought them back in in a gentle way. If he hadn't been a gentleman, we would have a divided nation.

Gandhi was a gentle person. Martin Luther King was a gentle person. George Washington was a gentleman. He was truly known as a gentleman. And great leaders are gentle. You know, there's a story in the Bible that you really ought to know about and it's the story of a guy named Rehoboam. In the Bible, there was a guy named King David who united all 12 tribes of Israel and they became one nation.

And together the 12 tribes became quite powerful and they had a lot of land and they were very strong. It was the apex of the power. Solomon had, I mean David had a son named Solomon. Solomon expanded the empire of Israel and united the tribes even more. And they were at their greatest power at that point in history. They were the most powerful nation at that point in history. Solomon was the wisest man in the world, he was the wealthiest man in the world, and he was the most powerful man in the world.

And he had this great united kingdom. And then Solomon dies and he turns this enormous huge kingdom to his young son named Rehoboam. Rehoboam had no experience in leadership at all. And so he starts by doing the right thing and then he does the wrong thing. He starts by going to the older leaders of the nation, they are called the elders. And Rehoboam goes, "Look, I'm just a young guy. I don't know anything about leadership and I'm thrust in this position. Would you guys tell me what do I need to do to earn the respect of the nation and be the kind of leader my father Solomon and my grandfather David were?"

And he did the right thing, he listened, he went to the elders, the wise. And you should be listening to older men and older women in your life. Listening to them always at every stage of your life. And the elders of the nation say to Rehoboam, "I'll tell you what, if you'll just do two things, the people will follow you anywhere. First, if you genuinely serve them and you show that you're there to meet their needs. And second, if you always speak to them gently."

"Don't do a power surge, don't do a power grab, don't be on an ego trip. Speak to them gently." He said, "These people will follow you anywhere. They'll be putty in your hands. They'll do whatever you ask them to do as leader." Now that's the good thing he did. The bad thing is he paid no attention to the advice of the elders. And so then he goes to all the young guys he grew up with, all of his peers.

And he says, "What do you guys think I should do?" Now they weren't any wiser than he was, they had no more experience than he did. So he says to his friends, young friends, "What do you think I should do as the new leader of this nation?" And the young men gave him the exact opposite advice. They said, "You've got to prove that you are in authority. You've got to prove that you have the right to be king. You've got to be tough, you've got to be hard, you've got to be demanding. You need to lay down the law right now and let everybody know that you're in charge. And you have to be unbending and you need to prove because you're young you're going to need to prove that you are the authority and the leader."

And that's exactly what he followed, that advice. You know what happened? The whole nation rebelled. They went into riots and chaos and eventually civil war and 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel split from Rehoboam's kingdom and started a whole new kingdom and that was the end of the united Israel. And from then on, they have no more power as a people. Why? Because Rehoboam refused to be gentle. It was just a stupid thing. Instead, he threw his weight around.

Listen, anytime you have to stand up in front of a group of people and say, "Excuse me everybody" in the business room, in the clubhouse, or in a boardroom, anytime you say, "Excuse me, I am the leader," if you have to tell the people you're a leader, you aren't. If you have to tell them, you're not it. He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk.

So leadership is earned, it is learned, and it is discerned. It is never demanded. If you demand that you're the leader, you're not a leader, you're a dictator. And that's a big difference. There's a difference between being a boss and a leader. A leader leads by example and leads by influence. Now gentleness earns respect and the more gentle you are, the more respected you're going to be as a leader. The greatest leader in the Bible was of course Moses.

Moses liberated the Israelites from 400 years of slavery. He took on the most powerful man in the world at that time, Pharaoh. Let my people go. He had nothing but God on his side and that was enough. And he was fearless and he was unafraid to go speak truth to power. And yet here's what the Bible says about Moses, the greatest leader in the Bible, Numbers chapter 12 verse 3: "Moses was a very meek and gentle man. In fact, he was more gentle than anyone else on the face of the earth."

This is why you can understand meekness is not weakness. Gentleness is not weakness. In the Bible, there are only two people in the entire Bible who are called meek or gentle. Only two in the entire Bible. You know who they are? Moses and Jesus. Neither of them were weak. Jesus knew how to call the shots and turn the tables upside down when he needed to and turn over the money changers. He had no problem being strong. He was strength under control.

Now here's the amazing thing. Moses is the only other man in the Bible called meek, and yet do you know what Moses' persistent sin was? He had an anger management problem. Moses had a temper, a violent temper. In fact, it is Moses' temper that got him in trouble throughout his entire life. One day Moses got so mad, got so angry, he killed an Egyptian. He murdered a guy out of anger. That's pretty angry.

Another time God gave him the Ten Commandments up on Mount Sinai. He came down and he saw all of the people and they were all having an orgy and he got so angry at that he throws down the Ten Commandments that God had made for him and they break. And God says you're making the second set, buddy. It's true. And he had to go back up and he had to carve personally the second set. God had given him the first set but he broke them out of his anger.

Another time God said the people were thirsty, he said, "I want you to speak to the rock and water will come out of it." He says, "No, Lord, we've always done it another way. I want to do it the traditional way." And he struck the rock. He got angry and struck the rock. It was anger that kept Moses out of the Promised Land. So he had a lifelong problem with anger. How does a guy who has a lifelong problem with anger be the only other guy on the Bible called gentle?

And here's the reason, and this should give hope to you who struggle with anger management. Moses was teachable. And when people spoke to him about areas of his life that needed to be changing, he didn't get angry back at that, he learned from them. Now you may have a struggle controlling your temper. The real issue is not that, the real issue is: Are you teachable? And when somebody points out that you have a temper problem, do you humbly listen and respond with gentleness or do you get mad at that too and have a hissy fit and a cow? Moses was meek because he was teachable.

Guest (Male): You know, people are being transformed by these messages. In fact, here's Rick with a letter from one of our listeners.

Rick Warren: Today I've got a quick note from a listener in Minneapolis. His name is Bill. And Bill wrote to me, "Rick, I want to let you know that I prayed with you this morning, accepting God into my life." Wow, that's great. "Daily Hope has become the way that I start each day, listening to your podcast. So much has changed in my life over the past year. I had a job loss, I had a transition, I had a divorce, my dad passed away, cancer, and my faith all in the same year. I'm so thankful for all that you do."

Well Bill, I want to tell you, I know you've been going through some really tough times this past year but there's no greater news than hearing that you've accepted Jesus into your life. And the fact that God used the Daily Hope podcast to lead you to Him is such a blessing. And I want you to know that as you continue to study God's word every day, you're going to find that your faith is growing and you'll see God actively working in your life. I really am as excited to think about what the next year is going to bring. Year two in your life will be very different than the last year.

And to the rest of you, all of our Daily Hope listeners, I just want to thank you because we're able to provide the Daily Hope podcast to people like Bill because of your generous support. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for helping us share the good news all around the world. We love you and imagine what it's going to be to get to heaven and see all these people who came to know Christ because of your giving. God bless you.

Guest (Male): You know, when you give a gift to Daily Hope, you're helping share the hope of Jesus with people everywhere. And during the month of June, your gift will be doubled by the $50,000 matching grant. Go to PastorRick.com or text the word hope to 70309. Again, that's PastorRick.com or just text the word hope to 70309. We hope you'll join us next time as we look into God's word for our Daily Hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.