Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Guest (Male): Hello and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope with Rick Warren. We are so glad you're here with us today. We're going to continue our series called The Keys to a Blessed Life. In these messages, Rick walks through Jesus's Sermon on the Mount and shows us how to live a truly hopeful and purpose-filled life. And now here's the final part of The Strength of Gentleness.

Rick Warren: Number seven: Gentleness is a witness to unbelievers. Gentleness witnesses to unbelievers. When people look at you, and non-believers are watching you all the time, they're watching to see: are you any different than they are when you're under stress? Are you any different than they are when you are under pressure?

When you respond to pressure with gentleness, that is an incredible testimony to the world. Here's what the Bible says in Titus 3:2: "Believers should never speak evil of anyone." Circle that. If you're a believer, not only am I as a pastor not to do that, you're not to do that. Believers should never speak evil of anyone.

Does that mean you can't disagree with them? No, of course you can disagree with people. You just can't speak evil of them. You can't malign them. You can't slander them. You can't do personal attacks against them, not if you claim to be a follower of Jesus. You can't. Believers should never speak evil of anyone, even the people who hurt you.

Nor be quarrelsome. You're not allowed to be quarrelsome. Instead, they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone. Circle "be gentle and show courtesy." You, if you claim to be a follower of Jesus, you are not allowed to speak evil of anyone, you are not allowed to be quarrelsome. Instead, you must be gentle with everybody and you must show courtesy to everyone. That means even people of a different political party? Yes.

God gave me the gift of evangelism, which means I spend most of my time when I'm not at Saddleback speaking to people I totally disagree with. I disagree with what they believe, or I disagree with their lifestyle, I disagree with their concept or whatever. But my definition of evangelism is you cannot win your enemies to Christ, you can only win your friends. To me, evangelism is you build a bridge of love between your heart and theirs, and Jesus walks across.

People aren't going to trust Jesus until first they trust you. People don't ask me if the Bible is credible; they want to know: "Are you credible, Rick Warren? Are you exactly what you appear to be? Are you the real deal? Do you live with integrity? Are you gentle? Are you loving? Are you compassionate?" If people like what they see, they will listen to what you say. But first they've got to like what they see. Gentleness is a witness to unbelievers. We are to be gentle and show courtesy to everyone.

Let me just tell you something. I know this from experience. If you actually obey this verse, you're going to be criticized by other Christians. Because they're going to tell you, they're going to say you're compromising. When I say I have friends who are Muslims, and I have friends who are atheists, and I have friends who are gay, and I have friends who are secularists, and I have friends who are Mormon, and I have friends who are—you can name it—Democrats, Republicans, and the in-between.

They say, "How could you do that?" and they accuse you of being compromising. No. You don't compromise what you believe. You just treat everybody with respect. You treat everybody with courtesy, whether you agree with them or not. Does that make sense? And you are to do that. If you do, there will be people who say, "Hey, you can't be nice to those liberal people." Well, why not? "Because then you're a liberal." Or "You can't be nice to those conservative people." Why? "Because then you're a conservative."

You've heard me say this many times before. People ask me, "Are you left-wing or right-wing?" and I say, "I'm for the whole bird." I'm actually for America. Have you ever seen a bird fly with one wing? If you only have one wing, you fly around in a circle. It actually takes both wings. Nobody gets it right all the time. Independents don't get it right all the time, Democrats don't get it right all the time, Republicans don't get it right all the time. I have friends who are Republicans, I have friends who are Democrats. I'm for my friends.

Why? That's what Jesus would do. Because there's something more than politics that's important, and it is: do they know Jesus? And that's what we are to do. Gentleness is a witness to unbelievers. Look at this verse in 1 Peter 3:15. He's talking about witnessing to an unbeliever: "Always be prepared to give an answer to everybody who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

No matter what they believe, and no matter how they act, and no matter how ungodly they are, you are to do it with gentleness and respect. In other words, you don't go out thumping Bibles on people saying, "Turn or burn, you're going to die and fry while we go to the sky." That doesn't work. Gentleness witnesses to unbelievers.

Number eight: Gentleness makes me like Jesus. Gentleness makes me like Jesus. This is the biggest one of all, and it's why I saved it for last. In Matthew chapter 11, it says if you want to be like Jesus, you want to be a godly woman, a godly man, you're going to have to learn gentleness. Jesus says in Matthew 11: "Come to me, all you who are weary and you're burdened, you're stressed out." And he says, "I will give you rest."

Then he says, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle." Circle that. God says, Jesus says, "I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Question number one: Doesn't this mean that if I want to be like Jesus, I've got to learn to be gentle? Yes. Question number two: Is it possible that the stress you're feeling in your life and the pressure you're feeling in your life is because you are not gentle? Yes.

Because the Bible says the more gentle you become, the more Christ-like you become and the more at peace you become and the more at rest you become. The reason why you're stressed out all the time, why you're tired all the time, why you feel pressured all the time is because you are not gentle. He says, "I'm gentle, and if you come get with me, I'm going to give you rest and peace, not stress and pressure."

I want that. I want to be at peace, I want to be like Jesus, I don't want to be stressed out all the time. So, I'm just going to go out and tomorrow I'm going to force myself to be gentle. No, you can't fake gentleness. You can't manipulate gentleness. You can't manufacture gentleness. It's got to be an inside job. God has to produce it inside you. Look at the next verse: "The fruit of the Spirit is gentleness." It is God's Spirit producing it in you.

You can't fake gentleness, because inside you're going to still be under stress. It is something that God does to you. There is a prayer that I've prayed now for over 30 years. I've prayed it almost every day. As I walk out and I see people, and I walk out on the patio, I say, "Lord, help me to treat people the way Jesus would." Why? Because I am not by nature a gentle person. I'm not. And neither are you.

You are not by nature a gentle person. You have to learn it and you have to let God produce it in your life. God, help me to treat everybody I meet with like Jesus today. Not rude, not crude, not uncivil in all of those ways. Now let me wrap this up. Who could you practice gentleness with this week? Let's just get down and dirty, really practical. I'm going to give you three statements. Just write these down; they're not in your outline.

Here's three things I want you to practice gentleness this week with three different kinds of people. Number one, here's the first sentence: When someone serves me, be understanding, not demanding. When someone serves me, be understanding, not demanding. That's what gentleness is—strength under control. I'm talking about waitresses when they serve you, clerks in stores when they serve you, a secretary, or a government official, or a clerk, or employees if they work for you, or people in fast food.

A while back, I went into McDonald's, ordering my Daniel Plan. Just seeing if you'd catch that or not. And I'm standing in line and there was this young girl, very flustered. It was obvious she was a trainee at McDonald's. She was just like in her first day or first couple days, and she was pressured and there was a long line and she was making a lot of mistakes. The more she made mistakes, the more people got upset and they were not understanding, they were demanding.

The more demanding, the more pressure she felt, and I thought she was going to burst into tears. When I came up to get my Daniel Plan meal, I looked at her and I said, "It's okay. It's not that big a deal. Don't worry about it. It's not anything for people to have to wait a few extra seconds, and tomorrow will be a whole new day. You're just learning. It's okay." And she looked up at me and she goes, "Aren't you that guy from Saddleback?"

I'm glad I was understanding, not demanding. Then I got to thinking: I wonder what is the reputation of our church family in Orange County when we go out for fast food? Are we understanding or are we demanding? "I didn't get it the way I wanted!" I've traveled all the way around the world. I've been in 164 countries, and I want to tell you this: Americans have a simple reputation overseas. We're rude. Americans are thought of as pushy, rude, uncivil, not gentle, demanding, not understanding.

The secret of great service—you want to get great service anywhere, restaurant or any place, plane—treat people with respect, be considerate of their feelings, be sympathetic and be understanding, not demanding. The Bible says in Philippians 2: "Don't just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others too and what they're doing. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ."

So when people serve you this week, be understanding, not demanding. And if you don't get your burger right and it didn't come back Animal Style—that's also on the Daniel Plan—don't sweat it. Number two: When somebody disagrees with me this week, be tender without surrender. Be tender without surrender. I'm not saying gentleness means you have to cave in on your convictions.

If somebody tells you something is wrong when you know it's right, or somebody tells you that something is right when you know it's not right, it's wrong according to the Scripture, you don't back down. You don't become wimpy, you don't become a chameleon and say, "Well, every teach his own ways, and that's your interpretation." That's a cop-out. But you can be tender without surrender.

Some of my best friends are people who violently would disagree with me on what I believe about certain things. I don't compromise on what I believe. I know what the Bible says. And I'm not afraid and I'm not ashamed, and I fear God's disapproval more than theirs. But I treat them with gentleness and respect. And that's why we can have a friendship. Let me show you a verse. Romans 14:1 in the paraphrase of the message.

I love this: "Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do." In other words, they may be another brand of Christian. They may be Pentecostal or Catholic or Presbyterian or Lutheran or Baptist or Calvary Chapel or Vineyard or—I don't really care. Just says: maybe they don't even agree with you on certain different things. "Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with."

That's the exact opposite of what people are doing on the internet right now. They jump over everybody anytime. Then he says, "Even when it seems that they're strong on their opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently." That's being like Jesus. And that's what God wants you to do, to treat everybody gently. You be tender without surrender when somebody disagrees with you.

I never get my point across by being cross. You can tweet that one too. This is a really tweetable sermon. I never get my point across by being cross. You don't have to devastate those you disagree with. A lot of people make verbal overkill to make a point, and they turn everything into win-lose. You have to decide: do I want to make a point or do I want to make a friend with that unbeliever or even another fellow Christian?

And then one more, let me give you this one: When somebody disappoints you—and you're going to be disappointed this week—when someone disappoints me, be gentle, not judgmental. When somebody disappoints you this week, be gentle, not judgmental. Galatians 6:1 says this: "If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently." That may be somebody in your small group.

"You who are spiritual should restore him gently. But," it says, "watch yourself, or you may be tempted too." In other words, given the right situation, we're all potential sinners in any potential area. We don't surprise ourselves. If somebody's caught in a sin, restore them gently. In Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32 says this: "Be gentle with one another and sensitive with one another. Forgive one another as quickly and as thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you."

We're going to come back to this verse in another week. This is saying this: God cut you a lot of slack, you better cut everybody else a lot of slack. God has shown you grace, you better show everybody else a lot of grace. God has forgiven you a whole lot more than you're going to have to ever forgive anybody else. That is gentleness. How do you react when somebody really screws up their life? They really mess it up.

Do you go, "I told you so. I could see it coming. Serves you right. I would have never been that dumb," and you actually get a secret satisfaction when you see somebody fall, particularly if they've criticized you. Do you know what angered Jesus the most? It wasn't sin that angered Jesus the most. What angered Jesus the most were self-righteous people who thought they spent all their time being God's appointed judge on earth of everybody else.

And Jesus got really ticked off at those people. They were called the Pharisees. Happiness is when you can accept people who haven't attained your level of perfection. That was sarcasm, if you didn't get it. All right, it's time to close. Let's bow our heads. Do you really want to be like Jesus? If you do, you're going to have to learn the third beatitude. God blesses those who are gentle. The whole world will belong to them.

Why? Because they don't overreact. And they're not out of control. It's strength under control. Would you pray this prayer in your heart? "Dear Jesus Christ, I am not by nature a gentle person. I'm just not. And I need your Spirit of power and love and self-control. And this week when people serve me, help me to be understanding, not demanding.

"And this week when people disagree with me, help me to be tender without surrender. And this week when people disappoint me, help me to be gentle, not judgmental. Lord, I want to be like you. I want to have a gentle answer that turns away anger, not stirs it up. Help me to lower my voice when everybody else raises theirs. And when evil things are said about me, help me to respond like Paul: to respond gently, disarm my critics.

"And when people are headstrong and I'm trying to persuade them, help me to remember that I'm never persuasive when I'm abrasive. But the more pleasant my words, the more persuasive I'll be. Lord, I want my life to be attractive. I want the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle spirit which is so precious to God. And Lord, help me to use gentleness this week to communicate love to those that I love in my life. Help me to be gentle with them.

"You said that gentleness earns respect, that a woman of gentle grace will be respected, that a godly man will be gentle. Lord, I want to be a gentle leader. I want to be meek like Moses and like Jesus—strength under control. I want my life to be a witness. And Lord, I ask you to help me to never speak evil of anyone, to not be quarrelsome, to show courtesy to everybody, regardless of what they believe or how they live.

"Help me to share my faith with gentleness and respect. Most of all, Jesus, you've promised that if I would come to you and team up with you, because you're gentle, I would find rest for my soul. Replace my stress with your gentleness. I want the fruit of the Spirit to grow in my life." If you've never invited Jesus Christ in your life, say, "Jesus Christ, put your Spirit in me beginning tonight. I want to follow you and love you and learn to trust you the rest of my life. I give my life to you, Jesus Christ. In your name I pray. Amen."

Guest (Male): If you just prayed to receive Jesus, congratulations! We would love to send you some free materials to help you along on your spiritual journey. Just email rick@pastorrick.com. That's rick@pastorrick.com. Once again, here's Rick.

Rick Warren: I just want to take a quick second to say thank you everybody. Thank you for listening, for sharing this broadcast, and for your faithful prayers and especially your financial support. God is using you in a mighty way to get the message of hope out to a world that's desperately in need of Jesus Christ.

Guest (Male): Thanks for listening today, everybody, and please be sure to join me next time as we look into God's word for our daily hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.