Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

Guest (Male): Hello, and welcome to Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope with Rick Warren. We’re so glad you’re here with us today. We’re going to continue our series called The Keys to a Blessed Life.

In these messages, Rick walks through Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount and shows us how to live a truly hopeful and purpose-filled life. And now, here’s part one of The Strength of Gentleness.

Pastor Rick Warren: Today, we’re in part three of the series on Jesus’s eight keys to living a blessed life. They’re often called the Beatitudes. They’re the first eight verses of the most important sermon ever preached on planet earth, the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew chapter five, verse five, Jesus says the third key to God’s blessing on your life. God blesses those who are gentle.

Look at that. God blesses those who are gentle. And then here’s the promise: the whole earth will belong to them. Are you kidding me? That’s about the most extravagant statement ever made. The whole earth will belong to anybody who’s gentle? Do I really believe that? Well, I wouldn’t, except Jesus said it.

And Jesus doesn’t lie. Jesus said, "I am the truth." Not "I have the truth," "I teach the truth," "I point the truth," "I am the truth." So if Jesus says God blesses those who are gentle and the whole earth will belong to them, guess what? I believe that. He’s saying somehow, locked up in this third key of blessing, is the key that when you learn what it really means to be gentle, the world’s yours. It’s your apple. You’re in charge. It’s not driving you; you’re driving it.

In our hard-driving, ego-driven, market-driven culture, you don’t hear a whole lot about gentleness. And the reason why is we don’t understand what it really means to be gentle. We think gentleness means weakness. And God says absolutely not. The gentle are the strongest people on the planet, and the earth will be theirs.

It’s the weak people who are arrogant. It’s the weak people who are prideful. It’s the weak people who are pushy and rude and mean and gossip. Those are weak people. He said the truly strong people in life are the gentle, and the world will be theirs.

Let me give you a true definition of gentleness. Gentleness is strength under control. Gentleness, the Bible teaches—real gentleness—is not weakness, but rather it’s strength under control. A gentle person does not overreact. A gentle person is not driven by their own emotions.

A gentle person is not someone who just is so moody and anything can let them fly off the handle. A gentle person is strength under control. The Greek word in the Bible for gentleness is the word *praotes*. In the old translations of the Bible in English, it is translated as the word meek.

Nobody uses that word anymore because meek has become a synonym for weak, and gentleness or *praotes* is anything but weak. In fact, the word *praotes* or gentleness in the Bible was actually used to refer to a wild stallion that had been tamed.

If you go out into the fields or in the hills and you find a wild stallion who’s strong and unbridled, they have enormous strength and they could kick you and kill you pretty quickly. But if you bring that stallion back and you tame it, then the strength is brought under control. The strength is bottled up for the master’s use, and now it’s useful.

A tamed horse is no less strong than a wild horse. It has just as much strength. It can go just as fast. But a tamed horse, a *praotes* horse, a meek horse, a gentle horse, is one that has strength under control. It is bottled up for the master’s use.

When you learn true gentleness as a man of God, when you learn true gentleness as a woman of God, it doesn’t mean you’re weak, it doesn’t mean you’re a doormat, it doesn’t mean any of those things that you might think meekness or gentleness means. It means you’re not overreacting. You’re in control of your emotions, and you have strength under control.

Today, I want us to look at the strength of gentleness—this third key to being blessed by God in your life. And specifically, I want to give you eight benefits what the Bible says. Eight benefits of learning gentleness. So that this week, you’ll actually begin to work on this quality in your life because once you understand what this quality will do in your life, you’re going to go, "I want to be a gentle man" or "I want to be a gentle woman" because it brings so many blessings in your life.

I’m going to give you eight, so we’re going to have to write quick and take notes real quick. Number one: how learning to be gentle will bless your life. The Bible teaches gentleness diffuses conflict. Gentleness diffuses conflict. It de-escalates anger. It curbs anger. It diffuses the time bomb in any relationship that’s about to explode. Gentleness is an antidote to anger.

The Bible says in Proverbs 15, verse one: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." It is tendency of human beings. You and I tend to mimic the emotions of people across from us. And the reason we do this is because there’s created in your brains what are now—we know about this; we didn’t even know about this years ago—in your brain are things called mirror neurons.

Mirror neurons allow you to sympathize and also allow you to mirror back what other people feel. So for instance, if somebody gets angry at you, you get angry back. If somebody gets upset, you get upset back. If somebody’s really depressed and you hang around them long enough, you get depressed. On the other hand, if somebody’s energetic, you get energetic. That’s part of the system.

The Bible says a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Let me give you a little tip that’ll save you a lot of problems and a lot of heartache and a lot of conflict in your life: when other people raise their voice, you lower yours.

That simple tip will save you from an enormous amount of conflict in your marriage, in your parenting, in your friendships, and at work. When other people raise their voice, you need to learn to automatically lower yours. That’s called strength under control.

Usually when somebody raises their voice against you, you raise your voice back. And then they raise their voice higher, and you raise your voice higher, and pretty soon, it’s escalated way up here. That means you’re out of control of your emotions. Strength under control, gentleness, means that when they raise their emotions, you lower yours, and you’re not going to mimic and mock them.

Here’s a good verse you’re going to need someday. Maybe some of you need it this week. Ecclesiastes 10:4: "If your boss is angry with you, don’t quit." If your boss is angry with you, don’t quit. A quiet, gentle spirit can overcome even great mistakes.

When your boss rips one on you and just lets it rip and just kind of vomits on you, and really gets mad at you, you need to first realize it may not have anything to do with you. They may have just got a bad phone call. They may be receiving pressure from their boss. They may have a bad situation at home. They may just ate a bad pizza.

It could be any number of things, and now they’re turning to the person closest to them, which is somebody who works for them, and they just kind of vent on you. And a lot of times that has nothing to do with you. He says when your boss gets angry at you, don’t get angry back, but don’t walk away either. Just hang in there because it says a gentle, quiet spirit can overcome even great mistakes.

Number two: gentleness not only diffuses anger, gentleness—this is a big one—disarms critics. It disarms critics. Now the more successful you are in life, the more critics you’re going to have. If you don’t do anything with your life, nobody’s going to criticize you.

The only way to not be criticized is do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. But if you actually stand for something instead of falling for anything, you’re going to be criticized. And the more successful you are, the more criticized you are. And the more well-known you are, the more criticized you’re going to be.

How do you handle the critics in your life? The people who gossip against you at school, at work, in your neighborhood? The people who malign you, who say bad things against you? When you respond in gentleness, it disarms your critics. It actually disappoints them.

When somebody criticizes you on social media, they’re trolling, friends. They’re trolling. They want to hook you. And they’re expecting you to get mad back. They want you to be defensive, and they want you to get angry.

There is actually an anger addiction that is as real as any other addiction. Some people are addicted to the feeling of anger. It’s the only way they feel alive. And they live in such a depressed state, the only way they can actually feel good or feel alive or feel energetic is to get mad at somebody.

Those people are always looking for a fight. You know who I’m talking about? Don’t look at them, but you know who they are. Maybe you had a parent like that. Maybe you married somebody like that. Maybe you had a boyfriend like that. And it’s just like, "Why are you looking for a fight?"

Some people actually don’t feel very good until they get angry. And when they get angry, then what happens is it energizes them, and they feel a whole lot better. So you cannot let them pull you in because somebody’s going to say something to you on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. And if you respond, they go, "Uh oh, hooked them. Now I’m just going to reel them in."

They feel so good because they love getting in a fight. Normal people don’t love getting in a fight. But some people do. Now they’re trying to hook you. What do you do in those situations? First Corinthians 4:13, Paul says here’s what he does: "We respond gently when evil things are said about us."

In other words, we don’t retaliate, we don’t get back. You see, if somebody hurts you, that puts them below you. If you get even, it puts you even. But if you respond gently, it actually puts you morally superior to them. Paul says we respond gently even when evil things are said about us.

Titus 2:8 says this: "Your conversation should be so sensible"—in other words, it’s gentle, it’s kind, it’s sensitive and sensible—"that anyone who wants to argue will be ashamed because there won’t be anything to criticize in anything you say."

Did you know that as your pastor, I am forbidden by God to get into arguments? There are multiple passages in the scripture that say a pastor must never argue. Now I know a lot of pastors who do, and they just violate that scripture. But the Bible says a pastor should never get brought into a heated argument or debate.

It says I am commanded by God to be gentle in every situation. This is a quality I’ve had to learn in ministry. Let me show you a verse. Second Timothy 2:25 says, "And the Lord’s servant"—that’s talking about pastors; it gives the qualifications for being a pastor. And it says one of them is, "the Lord’s servant must never quarrel."

Look at that. I am not allowed to quarrel, according to the Bible. Instead, he must be kind and gentle with everyone he agrees with. No. "He must be kind and gentle with everyone in his political party." No, it doesn’t say that. "He must be kind and gentle with everyone who is a Christian." It says with everyone.

Does that include other religions? Yes. Includes atheists? Yes. People with a lifestyle I disagree with? Yes. I am to be kind and gentle with everybody. I am forbidden to quarrel with anybody. It says, "They must be able to teach effectively," a pastor, "and they must be patient with difficult people." That means you. Then it says, "Those who oppose him, he must gently instruct."

Gently. There’s that word. He must gently instruct in the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading them to know the truth. Now I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but I get criticized every once in a while. In fact, all the time. Most of it’s just total nonsense; it makes no sense at all.

When I read it, I go, "Why would they criticize me for that? That’s not true. I know the stuff they should criticize me; they should ask me, and then they could criticize the real things that I’m worthy of criticism about." But I am not allowed to retaliate in any way. It’s why I never, ever, ever fight back with critics. Never.

The Bible says gentleness disarms critics. And so I constantly ask God for a tough skin and a tender heart. And that’s what you need to do. You need to say, "God, give me a tough skin so when people say stuff about me, it just rolls off my back. I don’t let it bother me."

But I have a tender heart. You don’t want a tough heart. You want a tender heart and a tough skin. What’s really funny is because God says God blesses those who are gentle, some of my biggest critics have actually become some of my best friends because I would not retaliate. I only responded in gentleness.

There’s a well-known pastor who’s been on the radio for years and years and years, and he’s just criticized me for 35 years. I don’t think he’s ever read anything that I’ve written or even visited Saddleback Church, so he’s just heard it all second-hand. And he’s criticized, and in 34 years, I have refused to ever say one single thing negative about that guy. I just won’t do it.

In fact, the other day, he went on a recent rampage and was talking about stuff that just wasn’t right. And somebody on Twitter said, "Pastor Rick, have you seen what Pastor so-and-so has said about you? Are you going to respond to it?"

I wrote back on Twitter these words: "What that guy thinks about me in no way controls my response to him, and I have nothing but total respect for his ministry." That’s called gentleness. That’s called strength under control.

Gentleness diffuses conflict; gentleness disarms critics. Here’s a real important one: gentleness is persuasive. The Bible says gentleness is persuasive. Now this is extremely important if you happen to make a career in sales. If you’re a salesman, a saleswoman, you have to sell a product or a service, you definitely need to learn gentleness.

The hard sell no longer works. It used to be the way you got people’s attention in the world was to be the loudest advertisement. And all you had to do was be loud and fast and hard and strong, and people would go, "Okay, I’ll buy a vacuum cleaner. Okay, I’ll buy your computer. I’ll buy your car." None of that works anymore.

There were these guys who used to be on TV to sell cars, and they talked real loud and real fast. In fact, when somebody comes on really hard and really forceful, what’s your automatic reaction? Back off. No way am I buying anything from that person. Today, the hard sell no longer works. In fact, advertising doesn’t work anymore.

What works is gentleness. Most of the stuff you buy today, you don’t buy because somebody’s giving you a hard sales pitch. You buy it because somebody recommended it. And we go, "Oh, what are my friends—what car are they buying? What movies are they seeing? What restaurants are they going to?" It is recommendations. Why? Because that’s a gentle approach. It’s far more persuasive.

Proverbs 25, verse 15 says, "Gentle speech can break down rigid defenses." So you want to convince your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your husband, your wife, your parents to do something? Gentle speech. Not the hard sell; that’s not going to work. Gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.

New Century Version says, "A gentle word can get through to the hard-headed." If you’re a parent, screaming at your child never works. Never works. You never discipline in anger, and you never discipline in frustration. You always discipline in love, and you do it gently because screaming never works.

Screaming creates fear and resentment in the person you’re screaming at, and they get defensive, and they put it up. If I want to persuade you to live more for Jesus Christ, I must do it in a gentle way. I could stand up here every Sunday evening and say, "Let me tell you all the things you’re doing wrong."

What would you do? You’d just build emotional barriers and say, "Forget Rick." And you’d probably stop coming. You wouldn’t say, "Hey, let’s go to Saddleback Sunday night and have Rick tell us what bad people we are." That doesn’t work.

It doesn’t work in the pulpit, it doesn’t work in the house, it doesn’t work as a teacher. Nagging never works. But gentleness is persuasive. A gentle word can get through to the hard-headed. You say it gently.

Patience and gentle talk can convince a ruler and overcome any problem. That’s what the Bible says. See that word "ruler"? Let me give you a little tip on Bible study. Anytime you see the word "ruler" in the Bible, you translate it boss, manager, supervisor. Because we don’t have rulers today.

We’re in a democracy. We don’t have kings, we don’t have queens, we don’t have lords and ladies. We don’t have kings and rulers. Nobody rules over you. But everybody has a boss. And we all have to work under supervision at different times in our life.

So anytime you see the word "ruler" or "king" in the Bible, just translate it CEO, boss, manager, the supervisor over me. Patience and gentle talk can convince your supervisor and overcome any problem. Why? Because gentleness is persuasive.

Look at the next verse. The Bible says in Proverbs 16:21, "A wise, mature person is known for understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is." Circle the word "pleasant" and circle the word "persuasive" and draw a line between them. Because if you want to be persuasive, if you want to persuade people of your idea, your product, your service, your faith, or anything else, you must be pleasant.

The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is. This is the mark of maturity. Wise, mature people are pleasant. Fools and idiots are rude. Fools and idiots are rude. They’re crass, they’re crude, they’re not pleasant; they’re unpleasant. And they speak in rude, crude ways. The more mature, the more wise you are, the more pleasant, the more positive your speech is going to be.

Guest (Male): Hey, thanks so much for being with us today and listening to Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope. I hope that you were just as blessed as I was from today’s broadcast. Right now, here’s Pastor Rick with a special message.

Pastor Rick Warren: When I started Saddleback Church over 40 years ago with just a handful of people in our living room, I also began writing a simple devotional just for the people in our church to help them start each day with hope and with truth and with peace that comes from Jesus Christ. That little devotional grew and grew and grew, and today, Daily Hope is one of the largest email devotions in the whole world.

Each day, people all around the globe are reconnecting with God’s promises and finding fresh strength in his word to face whatever comes their way. Here’s the best part: it’s absolutely free. We don’t have any charge for this. Every day, you’ll get a quick devotional read and a podcast that you can listen to on the go.

In a world that’s more distracted and uncertain than ever, I want to help you start your day centered on what never changes. And what never changes is a God’s love, his unconditional love for you and his promises to you. If you’ll just spend just a few minutes a day in the morning with the Lord, it can bring so much more clarity, more purpose, more peace to everything that happens in your day.

Particularly, psychologists have said that what you do for the first five minutes of your day pretty much sets the tone. So friend, you were never meant to go through life alone. I want to personally invite you to just sign up for the Daily Hope devotional. Do it today. I think it’s going to bring fresh encouragement to your walk in God.

Guest (Male): If you’d like to sign up for the Daily devotional, it’s easy. Just go to pastorrick.com. That’s pastorrick.com. Be sure to join us next time as we look into God’s word for our Daily Hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope and your generous financial support.