Awakened to Grace

Chad Roberts: Friends, I am so excited to share with you that my brand-new book, Blind Faith: Seeing God Through Darkness, is now released and it is available wherever you buy books in any format that you buy books.

This book is published through our friends at Lifeway and B&H Publishing, and you can go right now to readblindfaith.com and get your very own copy and make sure you get one to share with a friend. So go to Amazon or readblindfaith.com today.

Because I don't have to tell you, we Christians, and I'm including myself, we Christians, we are the worst to go to people and say, "Well, I wouldn't say nothing, but I know you'll pray about it." "Well, I wouldn't say anything, but I know you'll... I know you'll pray."

No. No. No. I've resolved the next time someone comes to me and says, "I wouldn't say anything about it, but I know you'll pray," I'm going to say, "You're right, brother. You're right, sister. Take my hand right now, and I'm going to ask you to pray for this brother or sister. You pray for him right now. Right now, you pray. I'm listening. Let's go."

I mean, isn't it the truth? I don't need your opinion. We need prayer. If I have an opinion, I need to take it to God, because the more I pray, the less I say. We already have an accuser. Let's don't help him by doing his job.

So what's the biblical command? Well, I am to seek, I'm to aspire, I'm to make it my goal to be quiet. Why? Not because—and that's not saying there aren't times you speak up, or that's not saying there aren't times that we call sin out and that we don't have hard conversations. Listen, I have hard conversations all the time. I wouldn't be a good shepherd if I was afraid of hard conversations.

I don't like them. I don't want to have to have them. But see, a conversation is different than gossip. Now, come on, let's dig a little right here. Amen? A conversation is different than gossip. Do you know what the difference is? Who you're talking to.

If you're not talking to the brother or the sister that needs the conversation, then we're gossiping. And we're doing the devil's work. Do you know why Jesus taught us, "If you have an ought, if you have an offense, go to the brother, go to the sister"? Do you know why he taught us that? And then he said, "If they don't listen to you, then take another brother with you. Take somebody in leadership with you. Take Pete. Take me with you."

Do you know why Satan doesn't want that to happen? Is because conflict happens when we talk about each other. Resolve happens when we talk to each other. And see, here's the thing: Satan does his best work in the dark. If I'm assuming what you're thinking, Satan's having a heyday.

If I assume that you have an opinion of this, or you said this, or you think this, or these other people said this about me... Do you know how many times people come to me and say, "Pastor Chad, do you know what so-and-so said about you?" You know how many people have an opinion of me? And do you know what I always say? I always say, "I don't want to hear it, because I don't care."

I'm not living for them. I'm not going to stand and give account to them. I'm not going to be judged by them. No. What I care is what God thinks. And because other people have an opinion, that's not—I don't even want to hear it.

There's a difference. When we talk about others, brothers and sisters, that's gossip. When we talk to the brother or sister, that is biblical conversation. That's sitting down together and saying, "Brother, sister, will you help me understand? I don't understand why you said this, or I don't understand why... this is what I understand, and I don't know if I have it clear. Brother, sister, can you just give me clarity on this so that we feel good about our relationship?"

Now, how are you going to get mad at somebody like that? Amen? But that's not what Satan wants. He wants you assuming. He wants you guessing. He wants you... No. He does his best work in the dark. And see, when we bring light to things, whether that's a hard conversation, whether that's confronting sin, whether that's reproving a situation, or whether that's just getting clarity because something is just simply not even true.

We had a situation with a leader where somebody had heard something that was absolutely not true. And the sister came to me and brought the leader with me. Praise God. She even said, she said, "I'm not even going to talk about it without this brother in the room." Amen. Kudos.

And when she—and she was so nervous—and when she said, "This is what I've been told. Is this true?" That brother looked at her and said, "I don't even know what you're talking about." And we got down to the bottom of it, and it wasn't even true. And Satan tried to do his best work, and she shut it down. Amen? She could have done his work for him and went and told ten other people, and it wouldn't have even been true.

How do you handle these things? I had a sister come to me and she said, "Chad, I'm asking your forgiveness." "Okay, you're forgiven." She said—I could tell she wanted to go further. I didn't want to go further. She said, "I have talked very harshly about you and your family, and I've engaged with others in very divisive and very harsh talk. Will you forgive me?" "Yes, sister, I forgive you."

And then she said, "Do you want to know who I was talking to?" No! No! You just repenting of the gossip, and now you're about to gossip about what you were gossiping about. Just live a quiet life. Mind your own business. Amen! I don't need to know, and I don't need...

A woman came to her pastor one time and said, "Pastor, I'm ready to lay my tongue on the altar." He looked over at the altar and he said, "Lady, it's not big enough." Family came to their pastor one time and said, "Pastor, we just want you to know we're praying about leaving your church." And the pastor said, "Really? I've been praying that you'll leave. That's amazing. Amen!"

Because here's the reality: Listen, I love you. You guys know I love you, don't you? You know I love you, don't you? Oh, I love you. But you can tear this thing down faster than we can build it up. You can tear it down faster than we can build it up.

Don't do the devil's work. When we whisper, we're doing the devil's work. When we entertain rumors, we're doing the devil's work. When we gossip and slander, we're doing his work. Go with me to 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Principle number one: the more I pray, the less I say. We don't need opinions; we need prayer.

Number two, principle number two: he who gossips to you will eventually gossip about you. That's why it's so dangerous to entertain gossip. I had a brother come to me one time—oh gosh, I should really write a book on all these stories one day. I had a brother come to me one day and he said, he said, "Pastor Chad," he said—now, he was real concerned, real concerned—and he said, "Pastor Chad," he said, "why do you think everybody comes to me with all of their problems and concerns? Why do you think that is, that everybody comes to me?"

Brother, it's because you entertain it. If you're someone that everybody tells you everything, it's because you entertain it. If you, when a brother or sister comes to you, if you would stop them and say, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse me. Excuse me. Have you gone to this brother or sister?" "Oh, well, no." "Then I don't want to hear it."

Excuse me. Excuse me. Before you go any further, can we go see Pastor Chad? Because listen, I'm not afraid of resolution. We want to resolve whatever. But we won't tolerate gossip. We won't tolerate whispers. If you are a whisperer, this is our invitation to you to leave. Go find somewhere else, because you're not going to tear down what we're trying to build up. Amen?

Now, what about if you've made mistakes? What if you—and brothers and sisters, let me tell you, I've made so many mistakes in this area. I've said things that I immediately felt God's conviction about. Let me just be real with you. Sometimes I've said, "If I drink a glass of water fast enough, you'll see it come out my back, because I've been stabbed in the back so many times."

And the reality is, I'm as human as you are. And I've done the same. I've hurt people—not intentionally, not out of malice—but there isn't a one of us who's exempt from this. There's not a one of us that we have not at some point done the devil's work for him. Not a one. Okay?

Now, let me tell you, you are not unspiritual because you've listened to a rumor, or because you've whispered something to somebody, or because you've engaged in a gossip. I'm not saying that that has made you unspiritual. I'm saying you're unspiritual if you hold to it, if you choose it, and you habitually cause problems. That, we don't do here. We just don't do it. And we never have.

Now, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, look what it says with me. What amazing scripture. You say, "Chad, if I have committed this sin, listen, if I've been someone that I've stuck my nose in other people's business, I've not minded my own affairs, I know that, you know, Chad, quite honestly, there are some people that I need to ask their forgiveness for because I have slandered. What do I do?"

Brother, sister, let me tell you what God's heart is for you. And it's right here: 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Look what it says we ought to do. We ought to encourage one another. What you need to do is you need to become an encourager, not a gossiper. You need... third principle, write this down. This is my last one, third principle.

We don't gossip about the people we pray for, and we don't pray for the people we gossip about. If you would turn that gossip into sincere prayer, if you would turn that talking about to talking to... do you know what would happen, brothers and sisters? You would become an encourager.

When I have to have a hard conversation with someone, my goal, my goal when I sit down with somebody and have to say something hard, is to walk away encouraged because we both had ears to hear, ears to listen. I want to hear your heart. I want you to hear my heart. I want us to walk away in love, walk away resolved.

And let me tell you, you can't resolve everything with everyone. There are some people you can't be at peace with. You've got some family you can't be at peace with. I was just talking to a brother in between services because he was at the early service. And he said, "Chad, you know," he said, "I don't talk to my brother, but," he said, "I send him a text once a month trying to tell him I love him, trying to open up conversation."

You know what? He's fulfilling Romans 12. Romans 12 says, "Be at peace as much as it depends upon you." But some people won't let you be at peace with them. And that's just a fact. You shouldn't feel guilty or condemned. You've done what you know to do to make restoration and to be at peace. Amen? Let it be there.

But here's the fact: we don't pray for the people we gossip about, and we don't gossip about the people we pray for. So what's the scripture say? Be encouraging. Turn gossip into prayer, encouragement. And look at this. This is the last thing. This is so good. And build one another up.

Whenever you talk about someone or you are engaged in a conversation about someone, you should first ask, is this true? Because it may not even be true, brothers and sisters. You should secondly ask, is what I'm saying edifying? Does it build up or does it tear down?

And if it tears down, you're slandering. You're doing the work of the devil. If it builds up, then we're restoring. We're resolving. We're completing one another. We're intertwining our roots.

And let me tell you, nothing intertwines roots like having a conflict and coming to biblical resolution. Nothing intertwines roots like saying, "Brother, sister, I was wrong. Brother or sister, I forgive you. Brother or sister, will you forgive me? Brother or sister, can we pray together? Brother or sister, I celebrate you and I'm so thankful for you." That's when our roots really tie together.

And that's God's heart for you. That's God's best for you. That's God's heart for the church family, and that's God's heart for your own family. But see, the question is, where do we land? James chapter four, verses one, two, and three says, "Do you know why you quarrel? Do you know why you fight?" The New Living says it so well. It says, "Because you insist on your own way."

So the question this morning is, is it your way or is it God's way? God's way is: ask for forgiveness. God's way is: seek clarity. God's way is: have a conversation. God's way is: seek peace, pursue peace. Your way is: double down, everybody's wrong but me.

Brother, sisters, it's not about who's right or wrong. It's about who's going to walk in love. And you say, "Chad, someone wronged me." I know, but listen, the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. Amen?

Listen, listen. People have wronged me. If I told you some of the specifics, you wouldn't believe it. People have wronged me greatly. But I don't hold to it. I extend the same grace that Jesus extended to me.

I'll end with this. One of my favorite pastors, he was sharing, and I've never heard anything like this. It's really astounding. Do you know he and his wife keep an enemies list? People who've wronged them. People who've truly hurt them and done great damage to them. They keep an enemies list.

And you know what he does? He and his wife takes that list out and they pray sincerely for the people that's wronged them. And let me tell you, brother and sister, when you get to the place that your enemies list becomes a prayer list, your roots are so intertwined you're never going to fall. You're never going to fail.

Let's pray together. Lord Jesus, let us love one another. Let us love one another. Let us love one another. The people who have wronged me, Lord, I pray for them, that you indeed would bless them. Set their feet in a wide and an open space where they won't fall and they won't trip and they won't fail.

I bless them in Jesus' name. And I forgive them in Jesus' name. And I pray that those whom I've hurt would be so kind and gracious to forgive me. Lord, there isn't a person sitting here that's perfect. There's not a one of us that we've not said things that's been wrong or hidden or secretive.

Teach us, God, there's a difference between privacy and secrecy. Some things are private and they need to be private. There are some things we don't need to share details about. There are some things we don't need to speak of. They're private. But nothing should be secret.

So for those who right now actively either engaging in secretive conversations, they're involved in quarrels, they're involved in division and divisiveness, Lord, will you reveal to them? And for any spirit of division that tries to come into our church, we bind it, we arrest it now in the name of Jesus Christ.

We don't allow that spirit to operate. We forbid its operation in Jesus' name. That there's no division here, but what there is is humility and love, closeness, togetherness, forgiveness, grace. May this place be heaven on earth, not because we're perfect people—far from it—but because we're forgiven people, and we ourselves are quick to forgive.

So in Jesus' name, be in agreement with me right now, church. Be in agreement with me right now. Every assumption that's not of God, we repent of it now, Lord. Every whisper, we cease it now in Jesus' name. Every rumor, we squash in Jesus' name. Every lie, we pull down in Jesus' name. And we walk in humility, we walk in love, and we walk in unity to the glory of God. Amen.

Did you know that I'm a pastor, husband, and father of four who suddenly went blind in 2018? Today, I teach people how life is not random, but it is actually orchestrated by God for a great purpose. Learn more about my story and Awaken to Grace at chadroberts.org.