Ask Pastor Mike Live

Guest (Male): Hi Pastor Mike. I'm the gentleman that's called in before and I have three boys and one of them, my youngest, is transgender. I went and met with my middle son and they're still insisting that I call him by this other name and by this other sex in order to be around him in order to witness to him and reach him.

My sister's doing that and I guess my question is: how would Jesus handle that? He wouldn't do that because he can't tell a lie, so he's not going to say the wrong name or the wrong sex. So would he say "child"? How do you think I should handle that myself if I am ever going to try to reach him with the gospel?

Pastor Mike: Well, it may not be you that ends up reaching him with the gospel if you hold firm on what I do think you should hold firm on, and that is the truth. What is true and what is good is for me to not play into the delusion of my child. I know that they're going to say the end will justify the means, which for them is maybe you can still have contact with them.

But I'm going to look at passages like Ephesians chapter 5, that we're supposed to be walking as children of light and the fruit of that is all that is good and right and true. Trying to discern what's pleasing to the Lord, which is what you're doing even in this phone call, taking no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead exposing them.

Now that, to me, is a clear call to say, in my mind, what you're doing in standing firm—even trying to be kind—you're trying to be kind, but you're not going to play the game that your other son is going to play with your third son. I'm going to say I support you; I back you in this. It's not about being mean, it's not about being vindictive; it's about being a child of God that is all about the fruit of what is good and right and true.

You're not going to take part in this. This is a small part, obviously, to call your son a female name. That's a small part, but it is a part. It's a part in an unfruitful work of darkness because it is unfruitful for us to affirm him in this, frankly, delusion that is egged on by society and the circles that he's in.

He needs to be removed from the circles that he hangs out in, but since he's, I'm assuming, of age to choose who he's going to hang out with, your words are falling on deaf ears. If they build a wall up, which you're not building, they're going to build it based on you standing on what's true, then they need to be blamed for the wall that they build, not you.

You're just saying, "Listen, I'm not going to take part in this because it's not true." Everything down to the bone structure of your son and the DNA of your son and the genitals of your son, everything about him is screaming from creation—this is what we call natural theology—is that he's a man.

Because of that, you're not going to take part in the unfruitful works of darkness. Instead, you're going to expose them even by calling him by the name that is on his birth certificate and the name that you gave him. So I stand with you, Lonny, on this. There's a way to do what is right in a very kind way, as kindly as we can.

But they're going to call you a hater; they're going to call you a lot of things. But remember this: they're building the wall. They're building the isolation, not you. You're willing to talk to them, you're willing to have them in your home, you're willing to discuss these things, but you're just not going to have a part in what you know is ultimately unfruitful, and that is to say that he's a woman when, in fact, he's not.

Guest (Male): Could I have another question? What do I tell my sister who is doing that, who is a Christian herself, but she feels like that's the right thing to do?

Pastor Mike: Well, I think you've asked a good question even for her to consider. Do you really believe that Jesus is going to come on the scene and affirm something that's not right? It's not right. If there's a man living naked in the tombs, cutting himself with rocks, Jesus is not going to go and affirm that in any way. There's just no possible way he would affirm that because it's wrong to do that. You should put clothes on, you should be in your right mind, and you should stop cutting yourself and destroying yourself. That's the right thing.

Just like your son needs to stop calling himself a female. Now, if the culture didn't applaud that, your sister, who's claiming Christianity—and in fact, I'm assuming she is a genuine believer—is being hypnotized by the culture to give way to the culture to continue to say what is not true about your son. That's where I would appeal to her the way you've appealed to me: is this really what Jesus would do?

Every time he met something that was not right, he was willing to do what was right. He didn't say, "I really care about your opinion so I can't be swayed." Think about the statement that was made in Matthew 22. When they came to Jesus, the Pharisees, they said something very true about him: "We know that you are true and you teach the way of truth truthfully and that you do not care about anyone's opinion, and you're not swayed by appearances."

There's another good verse to quote to your sister. I want to be more like Christ. I'd rather have people, even his enemies, saying, "You always tell the truth. You don't care about appearances or opinion. You care about the truth." You don't care about culture, you don't care about polls, and you don't care about what people might say from some psychological perspective. You care about the truth. The truth couldn't be clearer when it comes to your son's identity.

He's unfortunately being persuaded and applauded by the culture, and now even a Christian aunt who's saying things about him that aren't true. You're just not going to play that game and you're not going to engage in that. I think that's laudable. I think the Lord is going to stand with you even if you pay the price for that. Remember, they did this to Jesus.

That's the whole point of that passage in Matthew 22; they were out to get him. But at least they started with a statement that was absolutely true: he wasn't going to be swayed by the crowds or by appearances. He wasn't going to give one answer to the rich and another answer to the poor. He wasn't going to give one answer to the Herodians and another to the Pharisees.

He wasn't going to give one answer to a binary gender or a transgender; he's going to give the same answer every time. That's all you're looking for is consistency. Consistency as a Christian is not to do what your sister is doing.

I know that's easy for me to say, Lonny, because I'm sitting here behind my desk and my kids are not claiming to be transgender. That doesn't matter. There's a lot of things I have to say that cost me, that you don't have to pay the cost for. We all have our cross to bear. Right now, this is your challenge and your cross to bear.

But you can do it. You can do it with a smile on your face and with a welcome mat out. You're not shutting the door. You're just saying, "I'm not going to take part in this." Keep trying to love them by saying, "I'm willing to talk, but I'm not going to engage in this unfruitful deed."

Hang in there, man. I know that's hard. You're not the only one, Lonny. I appreciate you calling twice on this over the months because there are other people listening who won't pick up the phone, and they're going through the same thing. This is all over the place. Satan is having his way in our culture. This is doing nothing but weakening our culture.

Think about the birth rate alone in the United States as we follow these European secular cultures that are continuing to not only postpone marriage, but it starts with sex outside of marriage. People think you can have a sexual relationship or you can move in and you don't need marriage or kids. Now we have contraception—not that that's bad in and of itself if it's a prophylactic that prevents conception.

But my point is, if all of this can happen without marriage commitment, family, and kids, we end up having a country like ours that dips below the replacement rate. We start recognizing that all that God intended for a society to be strong is being lost. Look at China with their one-child policy: they end up so weakening their whole culture they've got robots trying to care for the geriatric aging crowd and it's not working. Now they're trying to reverse all of that demography.

What has happened in having everyone treat their gender as a name tag and not as part of who they are has certainly led us to a kind of sexual confusion and a ridiculous weakening of our society that will eventually cost us. We take a knee in front of Islam. Think about Islam: the Islamic world is out to conquer the world.

The Islamic cultures continue to have birth rates that are three, four, five, six, seven times the national average in the United States. That's just one example of one culture, a subset that is against Jesus Christ as the God-man, as the Redeemer, that is saying, "We're all about strengthening our societies and our cultures."

Even though they have a sword where they're trying to advance the religion of Islam, we advance by argument and by engaging in rational debate. But the West is a dying culture. Look at Europe. Look what's gone on in England, in Scotland, in Ireland. Go all through the Baltic states and all the way out to Italy and Spain.

We are in a situation where we need to get back to the basics of gender: male and female, marriage, having children, strong families, and strong churches where we know who we are as male and female. All right, I got on a soapbox there, but you've expected that by now, I assume.