Adventures in Odyssey

Chris: Hi, this is Chris! Welcome to Adventures in Odyssey!

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, hi there. I'm John Avery Whittaker, but you can call me Whit. We were just getting ready for a time of wonder, excitement, and discovery. Care to join us? You never know what'll happen next when you have an adventure in Odyssey.

Eugene Meltsner: You're the maladroit.

Guest (Male): There you go!

Connie Kendall: What a hoot. Maladroit?

Guest (Female): What did you call me?

Guest (Male): What? What did he call her?

Eugene Meltsner: Hey, maladroit.

Charles Thompson: My sister. Now there's a maladroit.

Connie Kendall: Why don't you go?

Eugene Meltsner: Miss Kendall, I have an extraordinary amount of studying to do that night.

Connie Kendall: It's two weeks away, Eugene. How could you possibly know how much studying you'll have?

Eugene Meltsner: Because I have an extraordinary amount of studying to do every night.

Connie Kendall: You just don't want to go. Nonsense. You never want to do anything fun.

Eugene Meltsner: Fun and frivolity are not synonymous.

Charles Thompson: Hey, Henry, what's going on?

Henry Thomas: Connie and Eugene have been arguing for about ten minutes.

Charles Thompson: Really? What about?

Henry Thomas: Eugene won't go to Connie's party, and she says it's because he's boring.

Charles Thompson: Think she'll get him to go?

Henry Thomas: No, I think she's getting bored of arguing with him.

Connie Kendall: And you need to get out anyway. Have some fun for once.

Eugene Meltsner: I have my share of fun.

Connie Kendall: You don't know how.

Eugene Meltsner: This entire conversation is worthless as it is quite obvious that the word fun is relative and completely dependent upon one's own definition.

Connie Kendall: All right then. What do you consider fun? What's the last thing you did just for fun?

Eugene Meltsner: Actually, just last week I recalibrated my barometer to study what the effect would be if the Earth's atmosphere were made up of three percent nitrogen instead of four. And would you believe it? The relative humidity went up five percentage points! I was in stitches all afternoon.

Connie Kendall: What a hoot. What's the last social event you went to?

Eugene Meltsner: Oh, simple. The physics club Christmas banquet. An enlightening festivity. The ornaments were actually held onto the tree by centrifugal force.

Connie Kendall: Have you ever been bowling? Skiing? How about roller skating?

Eugene Meltsner: Miss Kendall, this is a rapidly changing world and some of us do not wish to be left behind due to engaging in unnecessary activities.

Connie Kendall: Are you saying I'm behind the times?

Eugene Meltsner: I am merely saying socially speaking your choices have left you somewhat maladroit.

Connie Kendall: What? What did you call me?

Henry Thomas: What? What did he call her?

Charles Thompson: I think he called her a millitroid.

Henry Thomas: What's a millitroid?

Charles Thompson: I don't know, but it sounds terrible. Man, I had no idea the argument was going to get this ugly.

Eugene Meltsner: Roller skating or whatever other activities you do to petrify your education.

Connie Kendall: You are such a snob!

Eugene Meltsner: A snob? Merely because I wish to maintain a high standard for personal growth rather than waste it with useless activities.

John Avery Whittaker: Hey, hey you two.

Connie Kendall: At least I don't have my head glued to a textbook.

John Avery Whittaker: Connie. Connie. What's with you two? You've been at each other all morning.

Eugene Meltsner: She's completely irrational, Mr. Whittaker.

John Avery Whittaker: Enough. I want you two to cut it out.

Connie Kendall: He keeps calling me names I don't understand.

John Avery Whittaker: Names, Eugene? This is what you've reduced yourself to, huh?

Eugene Meltsner: It was not a name per se but simply a descriptive word.

Connie Kendall: Name, word. He meant it as an insult.

Eugene Meltsner: Miss Kendall, you obviously don't...

John Avery Whittaker: Hold it now. Listen to yourselves. I don't care if it's words or compound sentences. You keep using them to cut each other down and I want you to stop it. No more insulting words. Do you understand?

Eugene Meltsner: Yes, Mr. Whittaker.

John Avery Whittaker: Good. Now let's all get back to work.

Henry Thomas: They got off easy.

Charles Thompson: No kidding. It's a good thing he didn't come in thirty seconds earlier when Eugene called her a millitroid.

Henry Thomas: Yeah, he would have had a fit.

Guest (Male): The stories we hear help shape who we are. The right stories teach us to be brave, to be kind to others, to be godly people. So let your kids hear stories that will build their faith with an Adventures in Odyssey Club membership.

Your family will get access to over 1,000 faith-building episodes, including club exclusives. Try a membership free for 14 days to see if it's right for your family. Go to adventuresinodyssey.com to start your free trial. That's adventuresinodyssey.com.

Charles Thompson: Hey, Henry.

Henry Thomas: Hey. Ready for the test?

Charles Thompson: I think so, but I'm a little fuzzy on the French and Indian War.

Henry Thomas: That is the test, Charles.

Charles Thompson: Oh. Then I guess I'm not as ready as I thought. What a millitroid.

Henry Thomas: Henry, are you crazy? Don't say that!

Charles Thompson: Don't worry about it.

Henry Thomas: What if someone hears you?

Charles Thompson: Then they heard me. So what? Hey, millitroids!

Guest (Male): Dudley! What? Where did you hear that word?

Charles Thompson: You mean millitroid? Mark Miller called me that in math today. Cool, isn't it?

Henry Thomas: Do you know what it means?

Guest (Male): Well, no, but Robert Skeed said in history that he thought the German army was a bunch of millitroids. Said it out loud in front of everyone. The teacher made him stay after class. Told him he shouldn't be using words he didn't understand.

Henry Thomas: It can't be all that bad. I've been using it all day and nobody's slapped me or anything.

Charles Thompson: You've been using this word all day and you don't even know what it means?

Henry Thomas: Lighten up. It's just a word. How bad can it be?

Eugene Meltsner: Will the program Meltsner 462.7 enter.

Connie Kendall: Eugene!

Eugene Meltsner: What is it, Miss Kendall?

Connie Kendall: I looked up that word you called me. Maladroit. It means inept, unskillful, and or clumsy. Is that what you meant?

Eugene Meltsner: Indeed. I was merely explaining that because of your elementary level of sophistication...

Connie Kendall: You're doing it again, Eugene. Didn't you listen to anything Whit said yesterday?

Eugene Meltsner: I am well aware of what Mr. Whittaker said and I assure you that I shall not resort to the shameful name-calling that he denounced. I leave that type of incessant bantering to others.

Connie Kendall: You see? That's it right there! You act like you're not talking about me, but you're really talking about me. You're just hiding it behind your words.

Eugene Meltsner: I do not hide behind my words, Miss Kendall. If I had something to communicate to you, I would do so directly.

Connie Kendall: Yeah, like saying I'm inept and or clumsy. You're so...

Eugene Meltsner: Insulting words?

Connie Kendall: Fine, pal.

Eugene Meltsner: Look, good friend. You're making this significantly bigger than it has to be.

Connie Kendall: I am not, buddy. You seem to forget what Whit told us.

Eugene Meltsner: I have not forgotten, comrade. I simply wish to avoid petty verbal battles.

Connie Kendall: Yeah, well, you and me both, chum. I've got better things to do. I'll see you later.

Eugene Meltsner: Farewell, my faithful companion.

Connie Kendall: Adios, amigo!

Eugene Meltsner: Au revoir, mon ami!

Henry Thomas: Anyway, this kid falls and spills everything on his tray. It's like he wants to be a millitroid. He's already in the millitroid Hall of Fame as far as I'm concerned. If Odyssey had a museum honoring all the millitroids in our school, he'd have his own wing.

Charles Thompson: Whatever. Are you walking straight home?

Henry Thomas: Yeah, I have to babysit my little sister this afternoon. My sister. Now there's a millitroid. If I've ever seen a millitroid, it's her.

Charles Thompson: Have you ever seen one?

Henry Thomas: Look around, Charles. They're everywhere.

Charles Thompson: You think so?

Guest (Male): Hello there, boys.

Charles Thompson: Rusty. Hi, Rusty. What's going on?

Guest (Male): Just on a little fundraising tour. I thought maybe you guys could help.

Charles Thompson: What kind of fundraising?

Guest (Male): It's a new charity. The Help Rusty Get a Fudge Bar Foundation. We're seventy-five cents away from our goal. Won't you help?

Charles Thompson: I only have thirty-five.

Guest (Male): How about you, pipsqueak?

Henry Thomas: Oh, come on, Rusty. You don't really expect us just to give you our money, do you?

Guest (Male): No, actually I expect to take it from your pocket while you're lying unconscious on the sidewalk. But thought I'd make it a little easier on you to begin with.

Henry Thomas: You can't just pick on kids half your size. I'm tired of this. You guys in the bull's-eye think you can get away with anything. You're being a real... a real millitroid.

Guest (Male): What was that?

Henry Thomas: Well, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I was just saying that...

Guest (Male): Yeah? What were you saying? Here, keep the change. Thanks. See you later. Hey, thanks to you, it works for all of us.

Charles Thompson: So what do you think? You want to find out what that word means?

Henry Thomas: Hey Henry. Find anything?

Charles Thompson: Nothing. I've looked in every dictionary and encyclopedia in this whole library. The word's not in any of them. How about you?

Henry Thomas: Well, I talked to my science teacher and with his knowledge of the metric system, he figured out that a thousand millitroids equals one droid.

Charles Thompson: Wow, that's unbelievable. What's a droid?

Henry Thomas: He didn't know.

Charles Thompson: Let's look it up.

Henry Thomas: I say forget it. I'm not using that word until I know what it means.

Charles Thompson: Come on, Charles. It's just a word. Noise coming out of your mouth.

Henry Thomas: I know, but I have a feeling that milla... that word means something I shouldn't be saying.

Charles Thompson: Listen to you. You can't even say it when you're talking about it. Come on, Charles. Say it. Millitroid. It's okay. Say it for me. Millitroid. Millitroid. Watch my pencil. You're getting sleepy. Say millitroid. You're the millitroid. There you go!

Henry Thomas: By the way, I think you have a millitroid crawling up your back. You know, I think I saw Superman fight the millitroid in a movie once.

Guest (Male): Quiet! This is a library.

Charles Thompson: Oh, we're sorry.

Guest (Male): If you don't quiet down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Henry Thomas: But we're not really bothering anybody.

Guest (Male): I want you quiet or out.

Charles Thompson: Yes, sir.

Henry Thomas: Man, what a millitroid.

Guest (Male): Excuse me? What was that?

Henry Thomas: Nothing.

Guest (Male): What was that word you just called me? I've heard that around here. What does it mean?

Henry Thomas: We don't know.

Guest (Male): Of course you don't. Come here.

Charles Thompson: What? What for?

Guest (Male): I'm calling your parents.

Henry Thomas: Why? What did we do?

Guest (Male): In Adventures in Odyssey's 75th album, The Best is Yet to Come, everything's changing. Buck and Jules are going to church together.

Guest (Female): Really? You want to go to a youth group activity voluntarily?

Guest (Male): Yeah, sure.

Guest (Male): But is there something else behind this new interest?

Guest (Male): I guess we're singing a song in church. And we'll need to rehearse together.

Guest (Male): True. We'll have to rehearse a lot. The Bassetts meet the relatives of someone they helped put behind bars.

Guest (Female): You're one of the riffraff who framed my son.

Guest (Male): You think I framed Dr. Trask? Penny would never do that. And Emily and Suzu disagree about how to handle a case.

Guest (Female): I thought you were professional enough as a detective to set aside personal feelings.

Guest (Female): And I thought you were smart enough not to ignore obvious leads.

Guest (Male): Well, maybe not everything's changing. Find out what happens in The Best is Yet to Come, available now on the Club CD and download. Find out more on adventuresinodyssey.com.

Now on the Adventures in Odyssey Club, it's another Knox on. The Tale of the Coin.

Guest (Male): Hey, look what I got.

Guest (Male): Oh, that's a beautiful coin. Is it a stater?

Guest (Male): It is, but I found it at the temple.

Guest (Male): I'm not one to get carried away by emotion, right? Yes, but sweet. We're being called on to take a leap of faith here. We all rush in together, each one takes something, and then rush out together. Any questions?

Guest (Male): Just one. Why are we doing this?

Guest (Male): Listen now on the Adventures in Odyssey Club.

Guest (Male): What if everything you thought you knew about the epic battle between Dr. Regis Blackgaard and John Avery Whittaker was just the tip of the iceberg? Find The Blackgaard Chronicles book series at focusonthefamily.com/store.

Guest (Male): Want to contact us about the episode you're hearing? Visit our website at adventuresinodyssey.com or talk to someone at Focus on the Family. Call 1-800-A-FAMILY. With a parent's permission, of course. We always love hearing from you.

Henry Thomas: Dad, I didn't do anything.

Guest (Male): So the librarian just kicked you out for no reason?

Henry Thomas: I guess.

Guest (Male): He said you called him a name. What was it?

Henry Thomas: It was nothing. I don't even know what it means.

Guest (Male): You're using a word and you don't even know what it means?

Henry Thomas: We tried to find out, but nobody else knows either.

Guest (Male): What's the word?

Henry Thomas: Millitroid.

Guest (Male): Millitroid? I've never heard of it.

Henry Thomas: You see, Dad? The librarian had no right to kick us out. For all he knew, we could have been calling him a handsome and powerful man.

Guest (Male): But did you mean it like that?

Henry Thomas: Well, no.

Guest (Male): I didn't think so. Where did you hear this word?

Henry Thomas: Well...

Guest (Male): Henry, where did you hear it?

Henry Thomas: At Whit's End.

Guest (Male): Okay, then I think maybe your visits to Whit's End are over.

Henry Thomas: But Dad!

Connie Kendall: You know, partner, I just love washing dishes with you.

Eugene Meltsner: As do I, confrere.

Connie Kendall: Except you missed a couple of spots on this bowl, my dear brother.

Eugene Meltsner: My deepest apologies, oh spotless one.

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, I need your help with something. Just got a call from Henry's father. Apparently, Charles and Henry got in trouble for using a bad word, and Henry told his father they learned the word here.

Connie Kendall: At Whit's End? Nobody uses bad words around here.

John Avery Whittaker: Well, the strange part about it is that I've never even heard of the word. Millitroid, he said.

Connie Kendall: Millitroid? I don't recall any such word.

Eugene Meltsner: I don't think it is a word. Perhaps they heard the term as a result of my friend Miss Kendall's misuse of the English language.

Connie Kendall: Or perhaps they wanted to imitate dearest Eugene and make up a word of their own.

Eugene Meltsner: Perhaps they wished to describe kind-hearted Miss Kendall and couldn't think of another word for complete...

John Avery Whittaker: Hold it. Wait. Wait just a minute. What are you two doing? Friend, dearest? I've never heard those words used so abusively. What are you doing? Well?

Connie Kendall: We were just trying not to use insulting words, like you said.

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, come on. You know better than that. Or do you?

Connie Kendall: Well...

Eugene Meltsner: Perhaps you should elucidate.

John Avery Whittaker: It's not just the words you're using, it's the intent behind the words. I thought you two would have had the maturity to understand something so simple. No wonder the kids around here are picking up harsh words. That's probably why Henry and Charles got the idea that... Henry and Charles.

Henry Thomas: Mr. Whittaker. Oh, thanks for coming, Charles.

Charles Thompson: Hi, Connie. Hi, Eugene.

Eugene Meltsner: Greetings, Charles.

Connie Kendall: Hi, Charles. What's going on?

John Avery Whittaker: Do you know if Henry's coming?

Charles Thompson: His dad won't let him. He thinks Whit's End has a bad influence on us.

John Avery Whittaker: Oh. What's this all about? Well, I need you to help me figure out where you first heard that word.

Charles Thompson: Millitroid? I heard Eugene say it. He called Connie a millitroid.

Eugene Meltsner: What? Mr. Whittaker, I assure you I've never used such a word in my life.

John Avery Whittaker: When did you hear Eugene say this, Charles?

Charles Thompson: The other day.

John Avery Whittaker: Connie, Eugene, I'd like you two to do something for me. I want you to have the same argument you had in front of Henry and Charles the other day. What were you arguing about?

Eugene Meltsner: Well, Miss Kendall began it by implying that my life is dull and lethargic.

Connie Kendall: No, no, no, no. You started it by refusing to go to my party.

Eugene Meltsner: Nonsense. The argument didn't truly begin until...

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I didn't ask you two to argue about your argument.

Connie Kendall: Sorry. Well, Eugene told me he wasn't going to my party.

Eugene Meltsner: Basing my decision on logic and probability.

Connie Kendall: And he made up these excuses when it was obvious he just didn't want to go.

Eugene Meltsner: A completely unsubstantiated assertion.

Connie Kendall: So I tried to give him some constructive criticism. You know, help him be a normal human being.

Eugene Meltsner: Not realizing that I have no desire to be a normal human being.

Connie Kendall: And then he said I was maladroit, but I didn't know what that was so I...

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, hold it. What did Eugene call you?

Connie Kendall: Maladroit.

John Avery Whittaker: Charles, is that what you heard?

Charles Thompson: Maybe.

John Avery Whittaker: Ah, I think we have our word. And Connie and Eugene, I think some apologies are in order. First to each other, then to the kids. Wouldn't you agree?

Connie Kendall: Yeah.

Eugene Meltsner: As usual, you are correct, Mr. Whittaker.

John Avery Whittaker: Meanwhile, I'll go over to the Thomases and see if I can salvage our reputation.

Guest (Male): Mr. Thomas.

John Avery Whittaker: Yes. Hello, Mr. Whittaker. Is Henry here?

Guest (Male): Yes, he's upstairs on restriction.

John Avery Whittaker: Well, I came to talk to you anyway.

Guest (Male): Would you like to come in?

John Avery Whittaker: No thanks, this'll take only a minute. I just wanted to come by and apologize for what happened. It's all a simple misunderstanding. Henry heard the word maladroit from one of my employees and got it turned around. Millitroid doesn't mean anything.

Guest (Male): I know, but what I don't know is why my son would think it was an insult.

John Avery Whittaker: Well, he heard it in an argument. You see, Connie and Eugene argue sometimes and Eugene uses words most people don't understand.

Guest (Male): I see. Well, you know, Mr. Whittaker, it doesn't matter what the word means. My concern is that until Henry started hanging around Whit's End, he didn't speak disrespectfully toward anyone, especially to people in authority. But I guess when he sees people in authority talking that way themselves, well, maybe he thinks it's okay.

John Avery Whittaker: I understand.

Guest (Male): I'm just not sure I like Henry hanging around at a place where words are used as weapons.

John Avery Whittaker: I don't know what to say except I'm sorry and you can be sure this is something we're going to work on.

Guest (Male): Well, thank you for coming by, Mr. Whittaker.

Henry Thomas: Hey, Charles.

Charles Thompson: Hey, Henry. So how long are you grounded for?

Henry Thomas: A week. Wow. You get anything?

Charles Thompson: My dad's making me do an essay.

Henry Thomas: An essay?

Charles Thompson: I have to write a five-hundred-word essay on the dangers of bad language.

Henry Thomas: Really? Have you started?

Charles Thompson: Yeah, I just finished. How's this? The dangers of words by Charles Edward Thompson. Words can be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very dangerous.

Let me quote from James 3, the chapter after one and two, where the Bible talks about controlling the tongue. See then, here I copied down the whole chapter. As you can see, words can be very dangerous. The end. Think he'll go for it?

Henry Thomas: No. I need more verys, don't I?

Charles Thompson: No. You didn't write that. You just copied it.

Henry Thomas: Then what am I going to write about?

Charles Thompson: How about what happened?

Henry Thomas: Oh, yeah. Okay.

Guest (Male): Hey guys.

Charles Thompson: Hey Dudley.

Guest (Male): Did you hear about Roger Taylor? He called the lunch lady a mellan-droit and got in huge trouble. Has cafeteria cleanup duty for the next month.

Charles Thompson: A whole month?

Guest (Male): Yeah, man, that word's gotten so many people in trouble lately. I'm not going to say it anymore.

Charles Thompson: Us too. So what are you guys doing?

Henry Thomas: Charles has to write an essay for his dad.

Guest (Male): Your dad? What about?

Charles Thompson: The dangers of bad language.

Guest (Male): Really? Did you say something in front of him? What was it?

Henry Thomas: Never mind.

Guest (Male): He said something in front of his dad. What a yellnick.

Charles Thompson: A what?

Guest (Male): Yellnick. I just heard that one today. Cool, huh?

Henry Thomas: Let's get out of here, Henry. Right behind you, Charles.

Guest (Male): Hey wait, that doesn't mean anything bad!

Chris: I think Charles and Henry are beginning to understand that words always mean something even when they don't seem to mean anything. Proverbs 21:23 says, "To watch over the mouth and tongue is to keep out of trouble."

God wants us to be careful with the words we use because controlling what we say is an important part of our commitment to him. Well, that's all for today. If you ever want to write to us, we'd love to hear from you. Just send your letter to Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995.

In Canada, write to Box 9800, Vancouver, B.C., V6B 4G3. And don't forget to ask how you can get a copy of today's episode. It's called The War of the Words. That address once again is Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995.

Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. The War of the Words was written by Marshall Younger and directed by Phil Lollar. Our production engineer was Bob Luttrell and our executive producer was Chuck Bolte. And I'm Chris, hoping you'll join us again next time for more Adventures in Odyssey.

Here's another fun fact from the Odyssey scrapbook. Did you know that several early Adventures in Odyssey episodes were completely rewritten and rerecorded? Better Late Than Never is one of those episodes.

Connie Kendall: We'll give her a couple more minutes. Connie, what's the holdup? The bus was supposed to leave for the roller rink ages ago. We're waiting for Robin. Robin? Robin Jacobs? Who else? Maybe I should call her house. I tried, the line's busy. I'm sure there's a good reason. Well, she always has an excuse, but never a good reason. Well, that's it. We've waited as long as we can. Everybody on the bus!

Chris: It was originally an episode called Missed It By That Much. Why was it rerecorded? Because of a character named Officer David Harley.

Guest (Male): Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. You can't have all these kids skating in the back of your store without a license!

John Avery Whittaker: Those kids aren't going to skate in the back of my store. They're taking a bus to the Circle Lanes roller rink. They're just waiting here for the rest of their group.

Guest (Male): Oh, okay. But if they don't get moving fast, you'll need a permit for conspicuous assemblyingage, gathering.

John Avery Whittaker: Oh, well, I certainly don't have time to get one of those. Connie, what's the holdup?

Connie Kendall: We're waiting for Rachel.

John Avery Whittaker: Rachel Weaver?

Connie Kendall: Who else?

John Avery Whittaker: Well, maybe I should call her at her house.

Connie Kendall: I tried, the line's busy. It's just Rachel. She's late for everything. Okay, everybody on the bus!

Guest (Male): All right, children. We don't want a riot here. Let's have a little orderly dispersal. I want everyone to line up alphabetically according to their height.

Connie Kendall: Oh, just get on the bus!

Chris: Officer Harley was an affable, bumbling sort of policeman who many parents thought gave a bad impression of how intelligent our police officers really are. So Officer Harley left Odyssey and his shows were completely redone.

Interesting, huh? Well, just goes to prove what kind of impact your letters can have. You can find out more about getting your own copies of Adventures in Odyssey episodes by writing to Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Or in Canada, write to P.O. Box 9800, Vancouver, B.C., V6B 4G3.