Adventures in Odyssey

Chris: Last time on Adventures in Odyssey...

Rodney Rathbone: You, Jim Barkley, and four guests will fly first-class on an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii!

Jimmy Barkley: It looks like we're off to Hawaii!

Rodney Rathbone: And besides, we're going with chicks.

Donna Barkley: What?

Rodney Rathbone: Rodney said he could make me fall for him if he wanted to, and I said he was crazy. I can't believe he'd go this far.

Mr. Uee: In ancient Hawaii, a man won a woman's heart by performing great athletic or daring feats in front of her.

Rodney Rathbone: Let's see. Harness in place, boat motor running.

Donna Barkley: Rodney! What are you doing?

Rodney Rathbone: Parasailing! Whoa!

Donna Barkley: Rodney!

Bart Barkley: I worked it out with Mr. Uee. I told him we want to go off on our own. I already rented the car and everything.

Mary Barkley: Only we adults are going. The kids are going to stay here with Mr. Uee. Try it again, Bart.

Bart Barkley: Come on. Come on!

Mary Barkley: How are we supposed to drive back with no car?

Bart Barkley: We ain't going to drive back. We'll go on a motorboat.

Mary Barkley: I don't know, no offense, sir, but your boat doesn't look all that safe. Right.

Captain Quid: Safe? What are you talking about? The Minnow has a mind of her own. She cuts sharp like through the briny deep. Always on the move, or else she dies. Sorry, mates, but we ain't going nowhere.

Mr. Uee: There it is, boys, the famous Pearl Harbor.

Jimmy Barkley: Cool! I've never seen so many battleships. Can I borrow your binoculars, Mr. Uee? No. No, it can't be.

Lawrence Hodges: What is it? What's the matter, Lawrence? You've gone pale.

Lawrence Hodges: That battleship across the harbor.

Jimmy Barkley: What about it?

Lawrence Hodges: Standing on the deck, it's my dad.

Jimmy Barkley: What?

Lawrence Hodges: My dad's on that battleship!

Mr. Uee: Are you sure?

Lawrence Hodges: I think I know my own dad. If you don't believe me, look for yourself. I've got a picture in my wallet. There. Now look on the upper deck. See?

Jimmy Barkley: Well, it certainly looks like him.

Lawrence Hodges: It is him, I tell you. I've got to go see him.

Jimmy Barkley: Wait a minute, you can't just walk on board a battleship.

Mr. Uee: You can if the ship is on liberty. Then civilians are allowed on board for tours.

Lawrence Hodges: See? Let's go!

Jimmy Barkley: Are you sure we should do this?

Lawrence Hodges: Jimmy, I haven't seen my dad in two months. If he leaves, I won't get to see him for another six. If it was your dad, what would you do?

Jimmy Barkley: Okay, okay. Well, it isn't like we're not with an adult. We're with Mr. Uee.

Mr. Uee: Right! And I say, "Owaku liki poi."

Lawrence Hodges: What's that mean?

Mr. Uee: Let's break like the wind!

Donna Barkley: He just disconnected his towline! Rodney, you disconnected your towline!

Rodney Rathbone: I know, I know! Wait, this is actually good.

Donna Barkley: Good?

Jimmy Barkley: Yes, now he can just float down into the water and we can pick him up. Good! Did you hear that, Rodney? All you have to do is float down into the water and we'll pick you up!

Rodney Rathbone: Great! So why aren't I coming down?

Donna Barkley: Why isn't he coming down?

Jimmy Barkley: I don't know, he must have caught an updraft.

Donna Barkley: It's carrying him off!

Jimmy Barkley: Yeah, toward Pearl Harbor!

Rodney Rathbone: I want my mommy!

Bart Barkley: What do you mean we ain't going nowhere, Captain Quid?

Captain Quid: Just what I said, lassie.

Bart Barkley: Well, can't you fix the boat?

Captain Quid: Nope.

Bart Barkley: You can't put one wire back on?

Captain Quid: Sure, but the wire ain't the problem.

Bart Barkley: Well, then what is?

Captain Quid: We're out of gas. I thought they filled the tank, but well, you know how it goes.

Mary Barkley: Well, can't we just radio for help?

Captain Quid: Good idea, except for one problem. That's the wire you pulled. You catch on quick, lad. Everything could become an old sailor.

Doris Rathbone: Oh, great! We're stuck out on the ocean in a soggy, rickety old rust bucket.

Captain Quid: Soggy, aye. Rickety, perhaps. Old rust bucket, maybe. But rat-infested?

Doris Rathbone: I didn't say rat-infested.

Captain Quid: I know, but she's also rat-infested. Look, Captain, what are we going to do? Well, there's only one thing left to do. Geronimo!

Doris Rathbone: Where is he going?

Captain Quid: Swimming back to the shore to get help! It's only three or four miles.

Bart Barkley: But we're paying you by the hour!

Captain Quid: Don't worry, I'm a fast swimmer!

Doris Rathbone: He left us. I'm never going to see my children again.

Bart Barkley: This is unbelievable.

Mary Barkley: I'll say. He took the pork rinds.

Jimmy Barkley: Wow, this is too cool. A real-life battleship.

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: Welcome aboard the USS Farragut, folks.

Jimmy Barkley: Do you work here?

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: Yes, I do. I'm the ship's executive officer, Lieutenant Commander Stark.

Mr. Uee: We are looking for this young man's father.

Lawrence Hodges: Yeah, Lieutenant Joseph Hodges.

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: Hodges, Hodges. That name doesn't ring a bell.

Lawrence Hodges: He's a communications specialist.

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: Well, then I'm sure he's not on this ship. I'm very familiar with all our communications personnel, and we don't have a Hodges here.

Lawrence Hodges: But I saw him! He was standing right on this deck a half hour ago!

Jimmy Barkley: Lawrence, you said your father is an assistant to a bigwig.

Lawrence Hodges: Yeah, an admiral or somebody.

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: Well, Admiral Corridon and his staff were on the ship earlier.

Lawrence Hodges: I knew it, I knew it!

Jimmy Barkley: Hold it, Lawrence. They were on the ship?

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: They left at 1400 hours.

Jimmy Barkley: Oh, now it didn't take us that long to get here. What time is that?

Mr. Uee: 2:00. Twenty minutes ago.

Lawrence Hodges: Oh, man. But where did they go?

Lt. Cmdr. Stark: I believe they were returning to the base.

Lawrence Hodges: How do we get there?

Mr. Uee: I know the way. Thanks for your help, Lieutenant Commander Stark.

Lawrence Hodges: Yeah, thank you.

Mr. Uee: And as we say in the islands, "Nene aina e la nai." The goose preserved the porch. Well, we don't say it too often.

Donna Barkley: I know Rodney went down around here somewhere.

Mr. Uee: These waves are pretty choppy. We better find him quick, though. These are restricted waters.

Donna Barkley: There's his parachute! Rodney! Rodney! He's not there.

Mr. Uee: Why wouldn't he be there? I don't know, unless— No, not that. Rodney! Rodney!

Rodney Rathbone: Hey, what's going on?

Donna Barkley: The radio! Rodney, are you all right?

Rodney Rathbone: My ankle hurts.

Donna Barkley: Why did you unhook your parachute?

Rodney Rathbone: It was weighing me down. Look, you guys going to come pick me up or what?

Donna Barkley: We're trying to find you!

Mr. Uee: Tell him to wave his arms.

Donna Barkley: Rodney, wave your arms!

Rodney Rathbone: What, like this?

Mr. Uee: There he is!

Donna Barkley: We see you, Rodney! We're coming!

Rodney Rathbone: It's about time.

Donna Barkley: Okay now, reach out. Okay, come here, Rodney. Be careful, don't fall in yourself. Not so hard! Get the other— ow! This leg! Okay, now the other one. Which other leg? Okay, he's in! And we're out of here!

Guest (Male): Heave to! Stay where you are! This is the Military Police of the United States Navy. You are trespassing on restricted waters. Stand by to be boarded.

Rodney Rathbone: Uh-oh. What a day I'm having.

Mary Barkley: Wonder what the kids are doing right now.

Bart Barkley: Probably relaxing somewhere.

Doris Rathbone: And Bingo was his name-o. Well, we wanted to lie out in the sun.

Mary Barkley: Yes, but I was hoping it would be on the shore with a cool lemonade in my hand.

Bart Barkley: If you don't mind, let's not talk about liquid refreshments, huh? My tongue is starting to cleave to the roof of my mouth.

Mary Barkley: At least the boat stopped rocking.

Doris Rathbone: And we're getting a little peace and quiet. Doris, are you all right?

Doris Rathbone: Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. What are you looking at? Well, it's the funniest thing. I think the island's getting smaller.

Mary Barkley: Smaller?

Doris Rathbone: Yeah, when we stopped, it was pretty big, but now you can hardly see it.

Mary Barkley: What? See? It's barely there!

Bart Barkley: It's not getting smaller, Doris. The ocean is getting bigger.

Doris Rathbone: Huh?

Bart Barkley: We're drifting!

Doris Rathbone: Drifting?

Bart Barkley: Yes, as in out to sea! What do we do? What do we do? We need to find the anchor! What's it look like? Well, it's a big metal thing. Look for it!

Doris Rathbone: Oh! I found a big metal cord!

Bart Barkley: That's probably the anchor line! Pull on it! It'll lead us to the anchor! Come on! Got it! Here's one end. And here's the other. And no anchor!

Mary Barkley: Now what do we do?

Bart Barkley: Find an oar!

Mary Barkley: Or what?

Bart Barkley: No, find something that can be used as a paddle, like this broom!

Mary Barkley: Then what?

Bart Barkley: All of us start rowing!

Corporal: Good afternoon, folks. What can I do for you?

Mr. Uee: We'd like to see Lieutenant Joe Hodges, please. He's a member of Admiral Corridon's staff.

Corporal: Oh, well, I'm afraid you're too late. They've already left.

Lawrence Hodges: What? Where'd they go this time?

Corporal: Honolulu. The admiral's putting on a civilian liaison meeting luncheon for some of the local business and government people. Strictly public relations stuff.

Mr. Uee: I think I read about this in the paper. It's on the grounds of the Iolani Palace?

Corporal: That's correct, sir.

Lawrence Hodges: Do you know where that is, Mr. Uee?

Mr. Uee: Of course!

Doris Rathbone: Are we getting any closer?

Bart Barkley: I don't know, it's hard to tell. Just keep rowing.

Doris Rathbone: Bart, I think we have a bigger problem.

Bart Barkley: What's that?

Doris Rathbone: We're taking on water!

Bart Barkley: What? She's right, we're sinking! We're sinking!

Bart Barkley: All right, all right, don't panic! Bart, you and I will keep on rowing. Mary and Doris, start bailing.

Mary Barkley: What do we use to bail with?

Bart Barkley: I don't know, just improvise!

Doris Rathbone: Your coin purses!

Mary Barkley: But they're leather! They'll be ruined!

Doris Rathbone: Doris! All right, all right! I got such a good deal on it, too. Here!

Bart Barkley: Mary, this isn't working! The water's rising! We're still sinking! Dear Lord, please help us!

Guest (Male): Ahoy at the Minnow!

Mary Barkley: Hey! Hey! It's the Navy!

Guest (Male): This is Commander Shulman of the cutter ship USS Ben Franklin. Do you require assistance?

Bart Barkley: Yes! Yes!

Guest (Male): We're pulling alongside you. Stand by to come aboard.

Mary Barkley: Thank you, Lord.

Corporal: Well, we contacted the hotel and your story checked out. You are registered guests of the Bonsai Corporation.

Donna Barkley: Yes, sir.

Corporal: You're lucky all you have is a sprained ankle, young man. It could have been a lot worse.

Rodney Rathbone: Thanks.

Corporal: We'll have the doctor look at it once we get back to the base. Meanwhile, make yourselves comfortable.

Donna Barkley: Thank you again. I can't believe we were picked up by the Military Police.

Rodney Rathbone: I can't believe they let Mason go.

Donna Barkley: He was the only one of us who had ID, Rodney. Look, we need to talk.

Rodney Rathbone: Oh, do we?

Donna Barkley: Yes, we do. You don't really want me to fall for you. You're just doing all these things because I wounded your pride.

Rodney Rathbone: I told you before, I don't know what you're talking about. You think I'm crazy enough to do this for a girl? I was just trying to experience the essential Hawaii like my pop.

Donna Barkley: All right, if you want to believe that, fine. But I did say some things on the plane that I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. Okay?

Rodney Rathbone: Well, I still don't know what you're talking about, but apology accepted.

Donna Barkley: Good. Now will you please stop with these stunts?

Rodney Rathbone: That you can count on. Looks like we're ending up at Pearl Harbor today after all.

Donna Barkley: Yeah, maybe we'll run into Jimmy, Lawrence, and Mr. Uee. Huh? Nah, they're probably somewhere else by now.

Corporal: Sorry, I can't let you in.

Lawrence Hodges: But my dad's in there!

Corporal: I have my orders.

Mr. Uee: Can't you make an exception, corporal? It's the boy's father.

Corporal: Orders are orders. I can't let anyone in without an invitation, no matter who their dad is. Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Mr. Uee: Come on, boys, let's go. We did the best we could, Lawrence. I'm sorry.

Lawrence Hodges: It doesn't matter. My dad and I just aren't supposed to be together, I guess.

Mr. Uee: I wouldn't be so sure.

Jimmy Barkley: You heard Corporal Klink, we can't get in.

Mr. Uee: There's an old Hawaiian saying, "Okapoi nokahuku wikiwiki."

Lawrence Hodges: And that means?

Mr. Uee: When the front door is closed, go through the back way. Either that or "Please pass the piano." I get them mixed up. The point is, this luncheon is being catered by Mauna Loa Caterers.

Jimmy Barkley: So?

Mr. Uee: So, I know them. And more importantly, they owe me big time for some work I did for them. And I know just how they can pay me back.

Lawrence Hodges: But I don't know how to be a busboy!

Mr. Uee: What's to know? You pick up dirty dishes.

Jimmy Barkley: This is crazy.

Mr. Uee: Yes, and it also happens to be the only way we can find Lawrence's father. Besides, it's fun! Come on.

Lawrence Hodges: Excuse me, ma'am. Here goes nothing. Could I take that salad bowl? I can't believe I'm doing this. Excuse me, ma'am. Can I take your plate? Okay, I'll get that for you. Excuse me, sir. Can I take that dish for you?

Corporal: Corporal! You!

Lawrence Hodges: Oh, got to get more dishes. Bye!

Corporal: Hey, come back here, you! Come here! And you! You over there! Let me pick this— grab them! Grab them! Hey, I got you! I got you!

Lawrence Hodges: Let go!

Corporal: Stop struggling! Ten-hut!

Admiral Corridon: What in blue blazes is going on here, corporal?

Corporal: Sir, I caught these people entering the party without an invitation, sir!

Lawrence Hodges: Are you Admiral Corridon?

Admiral Corridon: Yes, I am.

Lawrence Hodges: I'm Lawrence Hodges. Lieutenant Joseph Hodges is my father. I'm on vacation here in Hawaii, and I saw my dad on the Farragut earlier today. He hasn't been home in two months, and I just— I just wanted to— wanted to—

Admiral Corridon: I understand, son, but your dad isn't here.

Lawrence Hodges: Not again. Where is he?

Admiral Corridon: Well, he left the Farragut to spearhead our next assignment, son. I'm afraid he's gone.

Lawrence Hodges: Gone?

Admiral Corridon: Gone. I'm sorry, son.

Lawrence Hodges: Yeah, me too.

Lt. Shulman: Well, here's where we part company, folks. I've got to split off to catch a flight. Your kids should be right through those doors.

Bart Barkley: Thank you very much for all your help and kindness, lieutenant.

Lt. Shulman: Ah, it was nothing. Enjoy the rest of your stay.

Mary Barkley: Thank you! Bye!

Bart Barkley: Well, come on, let's go see the kids. Dad! Mom! Jimmy! Donna!

Mr. Uee: Aloha, my friends. So glad you're safe.

Bart Barkley: Oh, thank you, Mr. Uee.

Mary Barkley: Rodney, what did you do to yourself?

Rodney Rathbone: Ah, I just sprained my ankle, Ma.

Doris Rathbone: Oh, you did something crazy again, didn't you? What did I tell you about— But—

Bart Barkley: But, but, not another word. After what we've been through today, I think this whole family's crazy.

Bart Barkley: Yes, dear. Come on, Rodney, we'll help you out to the van. Come on, don't step on—

Mary Barkley: Where's Lawrence?

Jimmy Barkley: He's over there.

Mary Barkley: Is he all right?

Mr. Uee: No, Mr. Barkley, I'm afraid he isn't.

Mary Barkley: What's the matter?

Jimmy Barkley: When we were on the memorial, he saw his father on a ship across the harbor.

Mary Barkley: His father?

Jimmy Barkley: Yeah, we tried to chase him down, even crashed the Admiral's party, but he'd already left.

Mary Barkley: Oh, poor Lawrence.

Bart Barkley: I wish there was some way to cheer him up.

Mr. Uee: The only way for that to happen is for his father to walk through the door.

Joe Hodges: Oh, good, you're still here. You folks didn't happen to see my hat when we came ashore, did you? I sat it down next to that other lady, and—

Lawrence Hodges: Dad?

Joe Hodges: What?

Lawrence Hodges: Dad!

Joe Hodges: Lawrence? Lawrence! I can't believe it's— it's you! Oh, Lawrence.

Jimmy Barkley: How'd you do that?

Mr. Uee: Old Hawaiian custom. Happy endings.

Bart Barkley: It was awfully nice of the Admiral to throw this luau for us, Lieutenant Hodges.

Joe Hodges: Well, it's not that nice. These are leftovers from his luncheon. And please, call me Joe.

Bart Barkley: All right, Joe. I'm glad he gave you some time off, though.

Joe Hodges: Well, I had some leave coming. He just let me take it early.

Lawrence Hodges: Yeah, and now he's going to spend it all with me!

Joe Hodges: Well, you and one other person.

Lawrence Hodges: Huh?

Joe Hodges: I called your mom today. She's flying out tonight.

Lawrence Hodges: That's great! It's wonderful! It looks like we're going to be together at last.

Rodney Rathbone: Hey, Barkley!

Bart Barkley: Yeah, Bart?

Rodney Rathbone: Admit it now. Wasn't the day better than going to all those touristy places?

Bart Barkley: Well, actually, Bart, now that it's over... Yes? No, I don't think it was better, but I do thank you for your efforts.

Mary Barkley: Hey, everybody! Save the umbrellas on your fruit drinks, please! Rodney's little cousin's birthdays are coming up!

Donna Barkley: Speaking of Rodney, look! He's trying to do the limbo with crutches!

Rodney Rathbone: What? Oh! Oh, oh, whoa! Oh, I think I sprained my other ankle. Rodney!

Donna Barkley: Jimmy, the next time you win a trip, see if you can make it a place with less sun.

Jimmy Barkley: Less sun? But I thought you loved lying out on the beach.

Donna Barkley: I thought I did, too, until I got sunburned. Okay, Donna, I'll see what I can do. Ow!

Guest (Male): All right, everyone! It's time to sing the traditional luau song, the most famous song to come from the islands, written by Queen Lili'uokalani, "Aloha 'Oe." Hit it, boys! And a one, and a two, and a one-two-three!

Guest (Singing): Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe... Everybody! Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe, e ke onaona noho i ka lipo... Women only on this verse! ...You can sing it in Hawaiian if you like! All right, men, singing now, all together now! Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe... Not you, Rodney, back up, all right?

Chris: I'm glad that everything worked out okay for the Barkleys and the Rathbones, and that Lawrence's family will soon be together. No matter how you look at it, this has been one all-around special vacation.

Hey, have you ever had a vacation like the one we heard about over the past few episodes? Why not write to me here in Odyssey and tell me about it? I'd love to hear from you. Just send your card or letter to Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Or in Canada, write to Box 9800, Vancouver, BC, V6B 4G3. And when you do, don't forget to ask about how you can get a copy of today's episode. It's called "Aloha, Oy!"

That address again is Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. "Aloha, Oy!" was written and directed by Phil Lollar. Our production engineer was Mark Brewer, and Chuck Bolte was our executive producer. And I'm Chris, hoping you'll join us again next time for more Adventures in Odyssey.

Chris: Hi, this is Chris.

Guest (Male): And this is Harlow.

Chris: We always love hearing what you think of our show.

Guest (Male): Yep, in fact, sometimes we might just walk up to you and ask, "So, what do you think of the show?"

Guest (Female): Well, we have really enjoyed Odyssey for many years. Oftentimes, we will spend family nights sitting around just listening to Odysseys and working a puzzle or whatever.

Guest (Male): It's part of our ritual Saturday mornings. We make pancakes and we listen to Odyssey and we laugh about the stories.

Guest (Female): I started to listen to Odyssey when I was four.

Guest (Male): I've been listening to Odyssey for seven years. I started listening when I was eight and I've continued listening until I am now 15.

Guest (Female): My 19-year-old loves Odyssey.

Guest (Female): I grew up on Odyssey and my family took a lot of trips and we would listen to the tapes all the way and that was probably one of the highlights of the trips.

Guest (Female): We have five boys, ever since the oldest, who's now 19 and in college, has been little, we've traveled with Odyssey and it's always been instead of "How many more miles, Mom?", it's "How many more Odyssey tapes, Mom or Dad, until we get there?"

Guest (Male): Love to have two or three Odysseys in the car all the time.

Guest (Female): Oh, as a parent, it makes me feel that I can use any moment in the car as a time to teach my children.

Guest (Male): And sometimes I've actually referred back to an Odyssey episode and said, "Well, how did— what did Whit say about that?" or "How was the situation handled? And do you think it was a good way to handle it?" So it has promoted some discussions along those lines.

Guest (Female): Underground Railroad, many interesting discussions out of that one and just "What was the whole Civil War about? Was it really slavery? Was it states' rights? How did this affect the individual families? How would we react if we were in their shoes at that time?" So many of those types of discussions have been generated.

Guest (Female): I listen to Odyssey every night when I go to sleep.

Guest (Female): We listen to Adventures in Odyssey because my daughter has trouble going to sleep at night and she enjoys listening to the stories and it helps settle her down and gives her something to concentrate on.

Guest (Female): I learned this one tape and I used to be afraid and I'd wake up in the middle of the night and go into my mom and dad's room. And then it taught me about not being afraid, and that's why I like it.

Guest (Male): Well, my family's used Odyssey tapes and CDs so much the kids can quote them back to me.

Guest (Female): I really like Odyssey and I've memorized lots of the shows. And they're learning even though they might not realize they're learning great moral lessons and things that they can apply in their everyday life. Best radio drama ever made. We love Odyssey!

Chris: We appreciate your comments. Keep those cards and letters coming in.