Leading The Way

Guest (Male): Eternal Friendships, a series of life-impacting messages from pastor and author Dr. Michael Youssef begins today on Leading the Way.

Dr. Michael Youssef: Eternal friendships give and ask nothing in return. Eternal friendships desire its sorrow in the friend's misfortune and grief, its pride is in the friend's success. Jesus said in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this." What is it? "That he lays down his life for his friends."

Guest (Male): We thank you for taking time for Dr. Michael Youssef and the program known across six continents as Leading the Way. Throughout the seasons of life, friendships come and go, but friendships with brothers and sisters in Christ stretch into eternity. Up next, Dr. Youssef opens your eyes to eternal friendships on Leading the Way.

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Dr. Michael Youssef: I was thinking about how erroneously we think that loneliness is confined to those who are alone, shut-ins, or single people. But in reality, loneliness is far deeper than just being alone. Loneliness is far deeper than just being alone. For you and I know there are some people who are alone, but they are not lonely. And yet there are people who are surrounded by a myriad of people and yet they are desperately lonely.

How can they be lonely? Let me read to you what Thomas Wolf, a famous writer and a famous person himself, let me read to you his conclusion. He said, "The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness is far from being a rare and curious phenomena peculiar to myself and few other solitary men. It is an inevitable fact of human existence."

In a general sense, Thomas Wolf is right. In fact, he speaks for many in our culture today. In our fast-moving society, we have found that loneliness is filling the hearts of millions. The inability to make friends and keep friends has become a modern-day pandemic. Even among believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who know that their friendship is not temporary, that their friendship is for eternity, and that their friendship will continue forever.

Many are finding that nurturing eternal friendships is a lost art. Pride keeps believers from reaching out to other believers. Self-sufficiency keeps believers from developing eternal friendships. Other believers have fallen into this societal mode of developing convenient friendships, developing temporary friendships, and developing shallow friendships.

Simply because they have failed to understand that friendships that are developed in this life between believers in the Lord Jesus Christ are for eternity. They are forever. They will never end. You can be friendly to somebody and you can be kind and gentle to someone. You can be friendly to your coworker and you can be friendly to your neighbor. We are commanded to do that and we must do that.

But with believers, friendship with one another, friendship on this side of heaven, is far greater and has far greater meaning and far greater depth than we are able to comprehend with our finite mind. When you understand the eternal longevity of godly and eternal friendships, you will cherish these friendships. You will value these friendships. You will guard these friendships.

You will not take these friendships for granted. You will not abuse, as some people do, those friendships. You will not ignore those friends. The very first words that were uttered by God Himself about the man whom He created were, "It is not good for him to be alone." The very first word. I want you to hear me out on this one because God created us for deep friendships.

God created us for relationships. These friendships and these relationships that we will develop as members of the body of Christ will never end. They will never end. God created us for intimacy in relationships with each other. That is the very call of God upon His creation. Listen to me. In ancient Egyptians, they have discovered, in fact in the most recent past, that in the courts of Pharaoh, the highest title that is given to a person is not Vice President, and it's not Chief of Staff, it's not the Presidential Council or the Pharaoh's Council at the time.

But the words can be translated literally as: "The One Friend." Literal translation: "The One Friend." It's the highest title that is given to anybody on the courts of Pharaoh for thousands of years. One person. In fact, this description is given only to that one person in whom Pharaoh trusted completely with his life literally. It was said that Joseph was given this title in the courts of Pharaoh.

Now, I thought about this and I realize that if we really understand what eternal friendship is all about, if we really comprehend that, we would cherish and we would value and we would hold dear eternal friendships among believers. But to understand the depth of eternal friendships between Christians, those who love the Lord Jesus Christ, you have to understand that it has to begin with a relationship and a friendship with "The One Friend."

The One Friend. The Bible talks about that friend who sticks to you closer than a brother. Without knowing Him as the One Friend, Thomas Wolf would have been right. Without knowing Him as the One Friend, life would be empty and frightening. Without knowing Him as the One Friend, loneliness would dry up the joy that comes from eternal friendships. In fact, eternal friendships can only be experienced after knowing the One Friend. It cannot happen without it.

Eternal friendships are not found. They are made. Eternal friendships don't just happen. They are built stone by stone by stone. Eternal friendships don't just occur. They are established upon biblical principles. They really do and they are very different from the world's acquaintances. They are very different from the world's friendships.

I was thinking about this and I thought about the two guys who are considered by the world as good friends. You know what I'm talking about? They do a lot of things together. They go hunting together, they go fishing together, they play golf together, and they go camping together. They went camping one day and they woke up one morning.

As they were having their first cup of coffee, all of a sudden they noticed a grizzly bear just making a beeline towards them. He was coming as fast and furious toward them. One of the friends immediately was putting his running shoes on and the other friend said to him, "What are you doing? You can't outrun that bear." He said, "It doesn't matter, as long as I can outrun you."

Good friends? Listen to me. That is not eternal friendship. Eternal friendship never pivots on equal return of service and affection. Eternal friendships give and ask nothing in return. Eternal friendship's desire is for the friend's welfare. Its sorrow is in the friend's misfortune and grief, its pride is in the friend's success. Its constant purpose is in doing and enduring for the friend.

Jesus said in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this." What is it? "That he lays down his life for his friends." Now, beloved friend, listen to me. You can go home and you can drink deeply from that verse and you can never exhaust it for the rest of your life. Turn with me to John 15.

John 15, beginning at verse 13. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know what his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends for everything that I've learned from my Father I have made known to you.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask." Isn't it amazing? We always love that last part and we always come in prayer and claim that last part, but we neglect all the first few verses.

Now in the name of Jesus, Father open our eyes that we will understand the truth from your word. Father, I pray in the name of Jesus that our hearts will be inflamed within us to understand that friendships that are eternal are what you have created us to be, first to be friends with you and then friends with one another. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

From these verses, I have found four principles. Four principles from these verses in John 15 that are the building blocks of eternal friendships. Four principles. Number one, the first step of building eternal friendship is to lose your timidity. Someone said to me some time ago, "The reason I have not joined a small group is because of intimidation. I just feel intimidated to be in a small group of Christian friends."

I said, "Well, what are you intimidated about?" He said, "Well, in case they ask me to pray in public and I have never done that and I don't want to do that. Or they might test my biblical knowledge." I said, "My friend, when you understand that eternal friendship is not built on embarrassing one another, you will give up these feelings of being intimidated.

When you realize that eternal friendship is not built on trying to change your temperament whether you are shy or gregarious or whether you're extrovert or introvert. When you understand that, you'll grow out of your fears. When you fully understand that you will not be intimidated by friends who love you. In fact, eternal friendships are based on accepting one another, not trying to change each other's temperament and personality."

But understand this. There are some things that are inevitable. Some things have to happen in a relationship and in a small friendship all around the word of God. Some things will happen. No doubt that eternal friendships are going to help you grow in the knowledge of God. No doubt eternal friendships are going to help you grow in your love for God. No doubt eternal friendships are going to help you to grow in love toward one another. That is inevitable. But no one is there to embarrass you. In fact, Jesus said that friend is willing to lay his life for the friend.

Secondly, verse 14. The second principle is this: eternal friendship is only based on a joint desire for obedience to the word of God. Look at verse 14 of John 15. Jesus said, "You are my friend if you can speak in public." You are my friend if you're not shy and bashful.

You are my friend if your biblical knowledge is flawless, right? You are my friend if you have memorized the scripture. I have known people who memorized the scripture but never internalized the scripture. That's a sad part. You are my friend if you're a spiritual giant. No, my friends. No, no, no.

He said you are my friend if you do what? If you do what I command you. The one common thing among eternal friends, whether it's in a class on Sunday, whether it's in a small group, whether it's in a home group, wherever it might be, is a collective agreement that you have one desire in heart and mind and soul and that is to obey Christ.

Not tradition and not church polity and not this and not the other thing. It's only one thing and that is the desire to obey Christ. And when you're together in friendship with other believers, it is much easier to obey Christ. It's much easier to be encouraged by one another. Eternal friendship is supposed to empower us to encourage one another and to uplift one another. When I'm down, you lift me up, when you're down, I lift you up. Because one of the primary principles of eternal friendships is obedience to Jesus.

Third principle, verse 15. Eternal friendship must lead to intimacy. Listen to what Jesus said. "I no longer call you servants," actually literally, "I no longer call you slave." I'm going to come to that in a minute. "Instead, I have called you friends." Not I may call you friend, not there's a possibility that I might call you friend, but he said I already called you friend.

When you have come to Jesus Christ to surrender your life to him, he already said you're my friend. You're my friend. During the not-so-good old days of slavery, a slave did not know what his master was doing. He just did what the master said. A slave did not have an input. A slave did not understand the plan of the master.

A slave is never intimate with the master. It would have been unheard of for a slave to know the mind of the master. That is why Jesus said he didn't consider you as servants or slaves. He said, "I want you to know me as my friend who knows a friend. That's what I'm calling you to be. And when you know me as a friend, you're going to obey me and it's going to be easier for you."

Developing eternal friendship is very empowering for us in our obedience and in our love for Jesus Christ. The Bible said the secrets of the Lord are to those who fear him. The secrets of the Lord are for those who fear him. And Jesus said to his disciples, "I reveal to you the very secrets of my Father. I've revealed to you the very secret of my nature. I've revealed to you the very secret of my plan. I've revealed to you as the very secret of my love for you."

Let me have a word with those of you who say, "I am never going to open my heart to anybody because that's going to make me vulnerable and I am not going to allow myself to be vulnerable again." This is a word to a few of you. Listen to me. I want to tell you the words of Jesus because he had just finished telling them, "I no longer call you slaves or servants, but now I call you friends."

"You're my friends." I'm going to explain a little bit more about this. Think about this. This is the God of glory. This is God in human flesh. This is the Son of God. This is the King of Kings. This is the King of the universe. Listen to what he said to his friends soon after he uttered those words of saying, "You're my friend."

Hear the words he said in Gethsemane. He looked at them and he said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." The God of glory is opening up his heart to his friends. He's being vulnerable with his friends. Beloved, let me tell you something, if the God of glory can open himself and be vulnerable among his friends, who are we to refuse?

That kind of honesty and openness is the mark of true love in eternal friendship. When Jesus said those words to the disciples, we use the word so lightly, like he's a friend or they're friends or they're good friends and we just talk about it in such light terms. We don't understand the incredible impact of those words upon the disciples.

Because the disciples understood from the Old Testament, which was their Bible, and they understood from the culture of the surrounding nations around them, this is a big word. This is not just a word you throw around. That's why they were mesmerized by what Jesus was saying to them. They literally cannot even believe their ears.

Because in the Old Testament, we hear only twice that Abraham was a friend of God. Then we hear that Moses spoke to God as a friend speaks to a friend. But that's it. It's such a rarity for God to be a friend of man. It's such a rare thing, it doesn't happen every day.

They understood that it's an incredible, rare privilege that Jesus is saying to them. It wasn't just "I like you guys" or "I love you guys." No, no, no. In fact, they also understood that the rulers and the kings of the neighborhood and in the neighboring countries, as we saw from the ancient Egyptian culture, where there's only one friend in the courts of Pharaoh.

One friend. "The One Friend." The King of Kings is inviting them to be that one friend, each one of them. Can you comprehend the awesomeness for God to call me a friend? To call you a friend? The King of Kings is inviting you to be his friends.

Listen to me, there can be no greater honor, there can be no greater intimacy, there can be no deeper love, there can be no closer friendship. The disciples were drinking deeply of the awesomeness of that statement because they understood that a friend is given information that nobody else has. That a friend is brought into greater intimacy that nobody else can experience.

In fact, Jesus said in John 15:16, "You did not choose me, I chose you." What is Jesus saying? Don't wait for someone else to initiate the reaching out to you but rather you initiate love. You initiate friendship. You initiate inviting. You initiate calling. You initiate welcoming.

When everyone does the initiating, no one could say nobody's reaching out to me because we're all reaching out to one another. Amen? When Jesus called us friends, he initiated choosing us. He initiated it. You know what he's saying? He's saying, "You too do the same. You do the initiating. Follow my example. You too become vulnerable for my sake."

Guest (Male): Dr. Michael Youssef with encouraging words about eternal friendships. You've joined the program known across six continents as Leading the Way. Want to listen to or watch more helpful, challenging content from Dr. Youssef? The place to start is ltw.org. Just click the listen or watch link and then stream current and past messages and features.

While you're there, find information about the Leading the Way app or podcast. Both also give you opportunities to experience additional powerful teaching from Dr. Youssef. That website again: ltw.org. And if you'd like to dig deeper into spiritual questions, consider the new life-changing digital tool from Leading the Way, My Faith Assistant.

Guest (Male): 37 years ago, when Dr. Michael Youssef founded Leading the Way, he had a bold vision to harness the most advanced technology of the time to proclaim the gospel to the ends of the earth. And now once again Leading the Way is leveraging cutting-edge technology with our gospel innovation My Faith Assistant.

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Guest (Male): This program is brought to you by Leading the Way with Dr. Michael Youssef. Connect further with audio and video content at ltw.org.