Somebody Loves You

Guest (Male): You have to be diligent to teach your children. Now, the reason that Moses is talking that way is because if we don't take the time to be diligent to teach our children, imagine how our children will grow up without the Lord. How are they going to teach their wives and their children if we are not the examples?

Guest (Male): Welcome to Somebody Loves You Radio, the Bible teaching ministry of Raul Ries in Diamond Bar, California. Today's message is part of our focus on Christian fatherhood, and it's good to have you with us. Juggling work and home life is often tricky for dads, but Raul will challenge you to prioritize meaningful time with your kids.

While busy schedules and urgent responsibilities make it tough to squeeze in family devotions, nothing is more important than the strong spiritual nurture of your children. In Ephesians chapter 6, beginning in verse 4, here's Raul Ries with our study, "God's Command to Fathers."

Raul Ries: We've been studying concerning husband and wife in the book of Ephesians, and we came to the place where we not only studied husband and wife, but we talked about children. I thought of the responsibility that you and I have as parents to our children, because we are going to be speaking with parents' and children's relationships.

Tonight, Paul the Apostle is going to be dealing with fathers not provoking their children, but bringing them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. You see, as fathers, we have a big job to fulfill in the home, especially the responsibility of teaching the children.

What really caught my attention is that you have to think of it this way, as even Moses and Joshua and Samuel and David and Solomon, and as you go through the Bible with the different kings, that really we have some of the goals that we have to fulfill. Because if I'm the only one that believes in Jesus Christ when I die, if I don't pass it on, then it all comes to an end.

And we have been exhorted in the scriptures that we as parents have a responsibility not only to pass it on from the first generation to the second and to the third and even unto the fourth if we can. But as you study the scriptures and as you look at society today, how many times you and I—and we've heard it so many times—say, "I don't want my children to suffer, so I want to help them."

And there is nothing wrong in helping your children, but make sure you don't get in the way of God and what God is trying to teach your children. This is important because just like you and just like me, we had to learn some big lessons about faith. How in the world will your children ever learn about faith if you're always providing everything for them?

Think about it. How are they ever going to call upon the name of the Lord if we don't allow God to do whatever He would want to do within my child's life? And so we have a responsibility, yes, in teaching, in nourishing, and admonition, that is, in disciplining.

And we go way back again to the Old Testament in the book of Deuteronomy where Moses was given a command as God commanded Moses, Moses commanded parents. And listen to what he says in Deuteronomy 6:4-9: "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children."

Notice: not when you feel like it, not when you want to, not if I have time. You have to be diligent to teach your children. Now, the reason that Moses is talking that way is because if we don't take the time to be diligent to teach our children, imagine how our children will grow up without the Lord.

How are they going to teach their wives and their children if we are not the examples? If we're not taking the time to pray with them, to communicate with them, to cry with them, to laugh with them, to be sensitive even to their own needs as parents. God has commanded it.

And then he also said this, not only in the teaching: "You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house." When you're sitting at the dinner table, when you're sitting by the couch or by the wayside outside in the patio or on the sidewalk or on the grass, you're to talk to them about God.

Jesus said, "My word will not come back void." I have learned one thing: whenever I would speak to my children, whenever I would give them a piece of my mind—let me say something, it didn't go anywhere. But when you sit down and you instruct them in the word of God, how can they reject it? It's God's authority.

It's God's word. And I have learned that when you speak to them and you give them the word of God, God honors His word. Your word means nothing, but God's word is everything. And teaching them biblically, and this is the problem again, because there are many parents that do not know the word of God.

The reason? Because maybe you're just a new Christian. Maybe you're an old Christian, but you haven't disciplined your life to really get into the word of God so that you're able to give to your children. And now that your children have gone on, you are suffering the consequences and the guilt because you didn't take the time to teach and to discipline.

God can forgive you again, and He wants to forgive you. Don't make the second mistake by not teaching your grandchildren. Get into the word of God. Listen to Dr. Billy Graham, what he says on the family. He says, "Apart from religious influence, the family is the most important unit of society. It would be well if every home were Christian, but we know that that's not possible."

"The family and the home can never exert their proper influence while ignoring the biblical standards. The Bible calls for discipline and a recognition of authority in the home. If children do not learn this at home, they will go out into society without the proper attitude toward authority and the law."

"And there's always the exceptional child, but the average tells us the child is largely what the home has made him to be. The only way to provide the right home for your children is to put the Lord above them and fully instruct them in the ways of the Lord. You are responsible before God for the home you provide them for."

You are responsible. I am responsible for my children. How I hate the mistakes that I've made. I wish I could take them all back, but it's too late. Let us learn from those mistakes that we make every day. One of the things that I'm learning as I was looking at Dr. Billy Graham's little article here is that in today's homes, there seems to be an absence of fathers in the home.

So what happens? So we are getting a lot of kids growing up without a father in the home. And this is causing a lot of the kids not only to experiment with drugs and alcohol, but also to look for another family by joining gangs to make for the absence of the father from the home.

This is what's happening and sweeping all of America and the world today. God has given fathers a great responsibility to teach their children the word of God so they can grow up and have wisdom and have good knowledge and make good decisions in their lives and be good citizens of this kingdom.

That's what God has called us fathers to do. And yet I'm hoping and I'm praying that we can pass on these things to the next generation as they come along so they can learn, so they can really see that their mother and father are godly in the home.

One thing that I would recommend to each one of us as parents: don't ever argue and fight in front of your children. You'll hurt them. No name-calling, insulting one another, cursing at one another. Because what happens? If the father is doing that or the mother is doing that, the children lose respect.

And then they're going to curse you, and they're going to yell at you because you are teaching them that. It has to stop before it's too late. One of the things the Bible said: he said in the last days children would actually begin to murder their parents. Paul said that. And we're living in those days today.

Yet the Bible is encouraging parents to train up their children in the way that they should go. If children are left to themselves, children will become fools. They will become fools and rebels. So it is necessary for us as parents to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. We have a great responsibility.

As a matter of fact, the Bible records a very sad result of parents in the Old Testament, parents that we know that are very famous in the Bible. And these parents, neglecting their children either by being bad examples to them or failing to discipline them properly, properly disciplining them.

David was one of them. David pampered Absalom and set him as a bad example, and the result was tragic. What happened? Absalom turned against his dad and he committed murder because David did not discipline Absalom. And Absalom lost his life. Finally, he was killed by Joab.

Guest (Male): This is Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. We'd like to take a brief timeout and remind you that we are here to help strengthen your relationship with God as you lead your family in His ways. For resources, visit somebodylovesyou.com. You can also download our free app for more convenient connections to the Word of God. Let's continue now with more from Raul Ries in our study, "God's Command to Fathers."

Raul Ries: We have another one by the name of Eli. He was a priest in the time of Samuel. And even though he was a priest—let's say he was a pastor and he was doing God's work, and he was actually in the temple serving God—yet his children never knew God.

And the reason is that Eli also failed to discipline his sons when they were laying with women, when they were stealing and when they were robbing and they were insulting the people. The sons of Eli, they brought disgrace to the name of their father and defeat to the nation of Israel, and eventually God actually put them to death. They died in the battle. God killed them, removed them.

That's why in the promise in the New Testament, in Ephesians chapter 6 says to what? To children. He says if you honor your mother and your father, God will extend your days on earth. Or otherwise, He cuts them short. And that's what happened in the Old Testament.

It's amazing that in his later years, Isaac pampered Esau while his wife showed favoritism to Jacob, and the result was a divided home. Both brothers hated each other and ended up one going one way and the other one staying at home. Jacob went away for 20 years because of the hatred of Esau against him, because of his mother's jealousy against the father.

We have examples all over the scriptures. Jacob was showing favoritism to Joseph when God providentially rescued the lad and he actually ended up in Egypt. He was sold by his brothers. It caused jealousy among their brothers when Jacob loved Joseph more than all of them.

And it brought jealousy to the home to the point where the brothers wanted to murder their own brother Joseph. But God spared his life, and God allowed Joseph to go to Egypt for the next 20-some years. God had a purpose, but because these men compromised as parents by not disciplining their children...

Let me give to you tonight ten responsibilities that you have towards your children. Ten responsibilities that I think are very important. Again, in Ephesians 6:4, this is what Paul says: "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Now, the word "to bring them up" here literally it means to nourish, to actually promote health to them, to strengthen them, and to educate them through the word of God. The word "training" here, it's in reference to teaching them by disciplining, by correction, by using the rod.

And then that word "admonition" he says is actually the word used for instruction, to instruction to warn your children through the word of God. And the word "to provoke" there is the word to bring your children unto anger as the things that we already shared.

By putting them down, by not sharing with them and constantly in public defaming them, yelling at them, cursing at them, never building them up, that can bring your children unto provoke. It can make them anger against you. They can become angry, disillusioned, and unforgiving. And you can take them and actually point them away from God instead of pointing them to God.

We have a great responsibility, parents. We need to learn a lot from the word of God. Here is the first responsibility that I want you to write down. First of all, we must not provoke children. Mark that down. We must not provoke our children.

Secondly, we must nurture our children. We must teach them. In 1 Samuel 1:22, even Hannah did this. She says, "But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, 'Not until the child is weaned; then I will take him, that he may appear before the Lord the remaining years of his life forever,'" as we dedicate them unto the Lord, as we give them over to the Lord and we nurture them and we take care of them.

Thirdly, we must instruct and encourage our children. Instructing, that is teaching, and encouraging. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 we read already: "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk to them when you sit down in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

Fourthly, we must protect our children. We must protect them. In Hebrews 11:23 it says, "By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents because they saw that he was a beautiful child; that they were not afraid of the king's command." They divinely protected their little child.

And we must, too, protecting them from the evils of the world by not only having a pleasant home and not having filth and dirt in our home, but literally the scriptures on the wall and father praying with the children at dinner time and breakfast or whatever it may be and instructing and protecting their eyes and their little hearts.

Fifthly, we must also correct our children. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says this: "If a man has a stubborn son and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother..."—this was the Old Testament, don't take this literally, okay? This is what they did in the Old Testament—"and who when they have chastened him and will not listen..."—so they spanked him and he doesn't want to listen in the Old Testament—"then his father and his mother shall take a hold of him and bring him out to the elders of the city at the gate of the city."

"And they shall say to the elders of the city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' And then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones. And so shall you put away the evil from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear." That's what they used to do with teenagers that were rebellious at that time. Praise God that we don't do that anymore.

Sixth: you parents, and listen carefully. You parents, as long as your children are small and they're living in your home, your responsibility is to provide for them, not to ruin them with material things. To provide for their needs. Why? Because in 2 Corinthians 12:14 he says this: "Now, and this is funny because it says for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children."

The parents have the responsibility of taking care of their children. And you know what's going to happen? If you take care of your children now, the responsibility again when you get old is for your children to take care of you. That's what the Bible teaches.

Not to put you in a nursing home and to get rid of you, but to take care of you. That's the way they do it in the East today, but we don't do it here any longer. Why? We've lost that whole thing of actually protecting one another.

Seventh: we are to educate our children. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, "Only take heed to yourself and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life, and teach them to your children and to your grandchildren." We are to educate them constantly in the word of God. Constantly.

Eight: we are to guide and warn our children. To guide them by our counsel, by the wisdom that God gives to us, and also warning them of the things that maybe we've gone through and the things that are out there to destroy them. Not lording over them, but guiding them and loving them and warning them.

2 Thessalonians 2:11 says, "As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children." We need to warn our children and guide them. And ninth: we are to restrain our children. In 1 Samuel 3:13 remember: "For I have told him I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he actually has done because Eli, his sons made themselves vile and he did not restrain them."

Wow. We need to, when they do something wrong, you need to tell them, "Hey, that is wrong, and God will not put up with it." We should never allow our children to have drugs in our house, to drink in our home, to bring girls into their rooms and have sex in their room.

Hey, this is our home and these are the rules and regulations biblically, and this is where we stand. If you want to do that, then you need to look for your own place and be on your own. But for me and my house, we are going to serve the Lord. Your children need to respect your home, and they need to respect you as a parent.

And then tenth and last: we need to chasten our children like God chastens us. Hebrews 12:7: "If you endure chastening," he says, "God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom the father does not chasten his own son?" Oh, may the Lord this night give us a heart to begin to love by teaching and caring for every one of our children until they get old or we die, or before if they die before us. We know one thing: that we have done what God has told us to do, and that's peace in our lives.

Guest (Male): As you consider the central role that you have in the spiritual development of your kids, we encourage you to be more intentional about praying with them and teaching them God's word. You're listening to Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. Today's study was titled, "God's Command to Fathers."

If you'd like to get an unedited version, we'll be happy to send one to you for a donation of $5 or more. To get that, simply call us at 800-634-9165. We'd also like to offer you Raul's six-part study for fathers available on CD and flash drive. Featuring five lessons in addition to today's, this resource will challenge you to carefully cultivate your own relationship with the Lord and model genuine faith for your children.

You'll find that living life as a faithful believer will go a long way in directing your kids to the Lord. Visit somebodylovesyou.com or call 800-634-9165 to order Raul's six-message father series. We'll send you the CD set for $19 or the thumb drive for $10. That's 800-634-9165. Or write to Somebody Loves You Radio, Post Office Box 4440, Diamond Bar, California, 91765.

Thank you for your tax-deductible gifts. Your partnership helps us keep sharing wisdom and encouragement from God's word. And we hope you'll join us again next time for more from this series. Underscoring the importance of spiritual transparency, you'll see that your children are looking to you for consistency as you put your faith into action on a daily basis. This program is sponsored by Somebody Loves You Radio in Diamond Bar, California.