FamilyLife Today®

Ann Wilson: Okay, here's a question for you. I guarantee you don't know the answer to this cuz I

Dave Wilson: Then why did you ask me the question?

Ann Wilson: I just found this out and I thought it'd be fun to see if anybody knows the answer to this. How many thoughts do you think you have a day? Every person.

Dave Wilson: I have no idea.

Ann Wilson: Between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day.

Dave Wilson: Wow.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. In some ways you might think

Dave Wilson: That's that's quite a span, you know. 12,000 and 60?

Ann Wilson: I'm just quoting from a book that we got the author sitting over here. So we'll find out in a second if that's even accurate. But here's here's what's really fascinating. 80% of those thoughts are negative.

Dave Wilson: Okay. Okay. Oh.

Ann Wilson: And 95% are repeated thoughts from the day before that are negative.

Dave Wilson: Oh, that can be so true. That was my life growing up right there. Welcome to Family Life Today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson.

Ann Wilson: And I'm Ann Wilson and you can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today. Today we're going to help I think we're going to help people

Dave Wilson: Me too.

Ann Wilson: including you and me. Like how do we manage the thoughts if it's that much negative? That's really bad. Well, we've got the author of the book that had those stats about thoughts in here today. Noe Garcia is with us. Welcome to Family Life Today.

Noe Garcia: Thanks so much for having me.

Dave Wilson: And you've written a book.

Noe Garcia: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: Yeah, the book is called Repurposed, How God Turns Your Mess Into His Message. And your story is pretty incredible. So why don't we start there? Tell our listeners the Noe Garcia story.

Noe Garcia: You know, my dad is from Mexico. My mom is from Houston. They both come from really broken homes. Both of them experienced a lot of abuse in their household, emotional, physical abuse. They both met each other trying to escape their homes. And so ninth grade, my father left his home. My mother was in eighth grade. They ran away together, had their first child at 16.

Dave Wilson: Wow.

Noe Garcia: I was the third child, 20 21 years old. And so I grew up in this household that even though my father was trying to escape what he grew up in, he was still a product of it. And so I grew up in a household where he was on drugs. He was drunk all the time. And I I would see him beat my mother just about every single day. You know, one of the the most memories that just kind of just overshadow my thought process about who he is. I don't have a relationship with him till this day.

But I remember I was a kid and we were having a huge party at the house and and the cops come in and kick the door down, about 15 officers. And my dad runs and jumps the the back fence and takes off and my mother's arrested at this point and there's drugs everywhere and there's guns and there's alcohol. Everyone's drunk. I don't know, 15 or so people get arrested. Shortly after that, we go back to our home and my father gets home, beats my mother and then he passes out drunk. My mother gets money out of his pocket, calls a taxi and we leave.

And that was pretty much it. My mom was a single mom. I probably went to 10 different schools growing up.

Dave Wilson: How old were you when you left with your mom?

Noe Garcia: About five.

Dave Wilson: Wow.

Noe Garcia: About five years old.

Ann Wilson: So you remember this vividly as a five year old?

Noe Garcia: As if it was yesterday.

Ann Wilson: Really?

Dave Wilson: Were you sad about leaving your dad or did you feel like I need to get out of here?

Noe Garcia: I was confused.

Dave Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: You know, whenever you live in dysfunction, it becomes your normal way of functioning.

Ann Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: And you don't recognize it's dysfunction. And so it was my normal way to function. After time, you feel the emotions, but they become normal. Being scared is just a normal thing. Being terrified, being confused, those are normal emotions.

Dave Wilson: And drugs, alcohol, that was normal, everyday kind of thing for you.

Noe Garcia: It's normal. It's normal. It'd be funny if my dad passed me the beer and I took a drink in front of his friends at five years old and they all laugh and and then I felt happy because they I was affirmed. I look at it now from this seat and I couldn't fathom that for my kids.

Ann Wilson: Right.

Noe Garcia: But then that was normal. So five years old, my mom's now single mom and trying to do the best that she can. But the truth is she was overwhelmed. My father wasn't in the picture, didn't help her financially. She became the one who began drinking a lot. So she started drinking more than I she should have during this time. She would drop us off at random family members' homes for the weekend. She was hurting. She didn't have Jesus. She didn't know. It was one of these drop off times, about seven years old or so where I was molested.

And about seven years old, you don't really understand why that took place. You you don't know if it's your fault, if you did something wrong. You feel ashamed and and dirty and disgusted and your identity and your dignity is just stolen from you at that age without you realizing what just took place. And you're broken and there's anger that builds up and there's this deep dark secret that's just suffocating me that I didn't know who to tell this to. I began to find outlets to deal with this pain, the pain of not having a father.

Why did my father leave me? He was supposed to be my protector. Why did my family member molest me? Why did my mom not pick me up? Why did And all these things are going through and you don't know how to deal with this. And so I began to get involved in petty crime, joined a little bitty gang that would take me in, started stealing stuff from cars, from homes, just things like that. Starting to get involved in sexual morality pretty early on, just following the crowds. You know, by eighth grade I was already using drugs, involved in sexual morality, drinking.

I was doing whatever was put in front of me. Ninth grade, same thing. And it was just a downward spiral from here. 18 years old, I was done and I was tired at 18. I was tired of making bad decisions. I I felt disgusted with myself. I felt disgusted with that I had this deep dark secret of molestation at this point.

Ann Wilson: Was this a secret nobody knew?

Noe Garcia: Nobody knows.

Ann Wilson: Never told your mom, never told anybody?

Noe Garcia: Nobody.

Dave Wilson: And where was God? Anywhere in the picture?

Noe Garcia: Nowhere.

Dave Wilson: Yeah.

Noe Garcia: So I thought nowhere. I sat outside. At this point I'm in Houston mixing poor decisions. Someone threatens to shoot me and take my life. So I moved to College Station just to get away from this. I'm supposed to go play basketball at East Texas Baptist University, but instead I run from getting my life taken. Go to College Station and I become more disgusted with my life, more drugs, more morality, more drinking. I just feel like a loser. And I feel like I have become my father. The very thing I despised I'd become. I sit in the backyard.

I I was if it's okay that I say I I was drunk and high. Just got to be transparent. I was lost and I was broken. I sit in the backyard and I ask God for a sign. I just say if you love me, would you please give me a sign? Please. Please give me something. I have nothing. Waited outside for 30 minutes to I asked him for a shooting star. I know it sounds so stupid, but I think when you're so desperate, you just grasp for anything. So no shooting star. I go inside and thank him.

He doesn't want me. He doesn't love me. I'm too dirty. And so I attempt suicide. And my friend comes in and finds me in the room. That was a wake up call for me. Long story short, I give my life to Christ through a basketball ministry. I remember the guy gave the invitation. I just walked up and said I said this prayer. I don't know if you're real, but if you are, please take my life cuz I can't do anything with it. Please.

Ann Wilson: Was this right after the suicide attempt?

Noe Garcia: About two months later.

Ann Wilson: Oh, yeah.

Dave Wilson: Are you still 18?

Noe Garcia: I'm still 18.

Dave Wilson: Okay.

Noe Garcia: Still 18 at this point. And I surrendered my life to Christ and then it was like cold turkey, night and day difference. I I just lost the taste for sin in that in those areas of my life.

Ann Wilson: So you end up I mean, you're you're a college now, right?

Noe Garcia: At this point I end up going to East Texas Baptist University, a year later than I was supposed to, but I went.

Ann Wilson: So you ended up there. Oh, so you ended up going back, playing basketball.

Noe Garcia: And I played basketball.

Ann Wilson: And one of the things I found interesting in your book which it was interesting but also somewhat not unexpected is how you were judged by your college teammates and college students at at this campus. You go there thinking it's Christian University, I'm going to get grace and you got judgment.

Noe Garcia: Yeah, I love East Texas Baptist University. So I don't want to say East Texas Baptist is like that, but it was that season and maybe the the friend group or the people group I was around. I just don't think they knew what to do with my culture. There was a certain culture and it 's like you leave your culture at the door and you got to fit into our culture.

Ann Wilson: Yeah.

Noe Garcia: Which means you got to talk a certain way, look a certain way, and dress a certain way and have a certain understanding about what Baptist is and what church is. I didn't even know how to fake it because I've never played the game before. So I was new to the game.

Ann Wilson: Yeah.

Noe Garcia: And so I come in. I have tattoos and I have you know, I I was I was dressing differently and I had all these piercings. I was just a different dude and I was trying to figure out how do I bring my inner city culture and who I am as a young Latin man into this new culture. How does it coexist? And I thought it didn't. And so I faked it for a lot a lot of times. I faked it. I left my culture at the door.

Ann Wilson: And yet you got to a point, at least if I'm remembering what I read, that you decided I'm leaving the university. I just don't fit here. I can't play the game anymore. It's time to move on.

Noe Garcia: Yeah, and and here's the thing. Like nobody I don't think intentionally forced that on me. Nobody was saying you got to change who you are. Nobody did that.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. You felt it though, yeah.

Noe Garcia: Yeah, I felt it and some of it comes from insecurity of being a new Christian. There's all this baggage stuff and and man, it was hard cuz I I'd sit around these tables and I hope my son is like this one day, but it was challenging when nine out of 10 kids and I was the 10th one had saved their self for marriage and didn't understand sexual morality, didn't understand drugs, didn't understand At least that's what they put off. And I just felt like I was so like I was too dirty. Like I couldn't catch up now.

I was going to be the one left behind and I couldn't have an awesome story like theirs and I couldn't which I hope my son has more of a story like theirs than mine today. I really do.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. Yeah.

Noe Garcia: I don't want him to walk through the pain that I did, but I didn't know how to fit into that. So I was sick of it.

Ann Wilson: So you were leaving?

Noe Garcia: I mean, I packed up my car.

Ann Wilson: But you didn't leave.

Noe Garcia: But I didn't leave. I packed up my car and I was like I 'm out of here and I was crying and I was angry and I was tired and I was confused about who I was. There was these two identities trying to coexist and I didn't know which one was going to survive. And so I was like I'm not I can't do this. I 'm going to go back home. This education thing was a stretch. I was trying to become somebody and I'm just going to forever be a loser. So I was like I'm better off taking on the identity of the loser and of the drug guy, of the drinking guy.

I fit better there. And so I packed up my car. When my basketball teammates came out and he started sharing his heart with me, thanking me as if I was leaving for how impacted his life. And we were the same culture.

Ann Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: He understood me. I understood him. And so he thanked me. And I knew how he felt about the rest of the culture. He felt isolated, but he was a basketball star.

Ann Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: His name is Cedric Isom. Cedric Isom came out. He gave me a chain with scripture on it. It's like you've impacted my life and started sharing his heart. The light bulb went on. And it's like God said, you don't have to leave your culture at the door. I 'm going to use your brokenness and I 'm going to use your past and I 'm going to use your culture. I 'm going to use everything for your good and for my glory. And I thought it's okay if I 'm different. It's okay if I don't play by the rules.

It's okay if I don't understand tradition. God has a plan specifically designed for me.

Ann Wilson: Is that where you came up with the idea of repurposed? It's like sort of your life now has a repurpose?

Noe Garcia: Absolutely. Man, absolutely. It's like he said, I'm going to take all of this. See God God is an originator, right? He writes original stuff. And I came into college thinking that I had to imitate what he's already written, somebody else's life story. And it didn't make sense for me. And he's the great editor and he is the great author. And so yes, it was in that moment it was me fully surrendering the pen of my life for him to be the author of it. I didn't know what it was going to look like and I didn't know how it was going to be written, but I knew that he could write a better story than I could.

Ann Wilson: You know, I'm almost positive that our listeners have no idea how important they are to our program.

Dave Wilson: I think you're right.

Ann Wilson: Our prayer partners and especially our financial partners, people who donate financially to Family Life Today make this program actually happen.

Dave Wilson: And your monthly gift really is changing the hearts and lives of families not only here, but around the world.

Ann Wilson: Yeah, we just want to say we would love for you to join and be a partner with us. You make this program happen. You are literally changing the world. So like I'm going to make sure that other people, even my neighbors down the streets, lives are changed because of this program. And if you'd like to jump in and join us and become a partner, all you have to do is go to familylifetoday.com and click on the donate button right there and you can start joining today. We would love to have you as a partner with us to change the world for Jesus.

Dave Wilson: Join us.

Ann Wilson: I think about the guy. What's his name again that spoke those words to you?

Noe Garcia: Cedric Isom.

Ann Wilson: Cedric. It just hit me even when I read it how important our words are to somebody in a moment that I mean, I don't think he knew in that moment this is going to change your life, but he spoke life. Proverbs 18 21. Your tongue can speak life or death. He sees something. In fact, we started the program talking about negative thoughts. I'm sure you lived your whole life with them and here's a guy

Noe Garcia: That's right.

Ann Wilson: telling you something that you've never thought was true about you, that you're making a difference in my life and you're sitting here today because of the in some ways because of that moment.

Noe Garcia: Because of that moment.

Ann Wilson: I just saw how important it is for us to be to seize those moments in our family, in our in our marriage, in a stranger's life, in a friend's life. Don't miss that chance to say I don't know if you know this, but you are valuable.

Noe Garcia: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: Right?

Noe Garcia: Yeah. And then the crazy thing is he's an extreme introverted guy. He was then anyway. He's not this guy that's going to walk in a room and talk and be loud in that that time anyway. And so for him to do that, I'm sure it took a lot of courage.

Ann Wilson: Really? Really? I don't want to beat this one too much, but I 'm thinking if I 'm a dad listening right now, there's probably a son or daughter in my house that may need me or a mom, right? To say I see you.

Noe Garcia: Yeah. Yeah.

Ann Wilson: I care about I mean, you didn't have that your whole life. I didn't have that. I never had a dad say that to me. Really my entire life. So I was like you going everywhere to find it through sports, through music, through whatever.

Noe Garcia: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: And we are dads and moms that can speak that to our kids cuz they're going to go looking for it somewhere else too unless we speak it.

Dave Wilson: That's right. And I would add too, Dave, I think that as we grow up like our kids grew up in a Christian home, but we didn't. And we have these perceptions of what Christians should look like. I did that. Like I had no idea. Like this this is a whole new world.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. No idea.

Dave Wilson: But I I think that we need to remind our kids like God's not a cookie cutter guy.

Ann Wilson: That's right.

Dave Wilson: He's a guy that creates uniqueness. He creates gifts and talents and passions that are also different. And to remind our kids like it doesn't have to look a certain way. Like we're all so different.

Ann Wilson: Right.

Dave Wilson: And to as you said, Dave, to to speak out and to bring forth the things that we see in our kids that are so unique that they might think I'm so messed up. Like I don't look like everybody else. I'm not acting like everybody else in terms of the culture, but I think that 's important.

Noe Garcia: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: So how'd you get from there to now you're a pastor? I mean, you know, there's a journey obviously from there. It looks like this is the guys never going to end up doing what you're doing.

Noe Garcia: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ann Wilson: There's sort of this path that you usually take. You took a different path and yet God repurposed your life. How'd you get here?

Noe Garcia: I I think that moment was a key moment, um someone speaking life into me cuz up to that point it really didn't happen. And so for him to allow me to see something in myself that I couldn't see and I think that was a God moment. Still after that I thought I'm going to get my education and I 'm going to impact people's lives through sports. I I majored in kinesiology. And so I wanted to study about the body. I was wrestling, you know, sports medicine for the rest of my life or being a coach.

What but either way I'm going to be in sports cuz I can talk sports with people. And that's how I can share Jesus in sports. But I graduate from East Texas Baptist and I can't find a job. I have a job interview. I get stood up. The guy doesn't meet me there and I 'm thinking what am I going to do? I'm about to graduate and I don't have a job. I have all this debt. And I get a call from a church called Second Baptist Church in Houston. I 've never heard of it and it's a huge church and they call and they say, hey, do you want to be a um college and sports intern for the summer?

And I say, sure, but just until I find a real job. And so I get there and I 'm doing the things that I love, you know, pouring into college students and using basketball and football to reach people for Jesus.

Ann Wilson: You're just dunking over these kids, aren't you?

Noe Garcia: Oh man, it was awesome. I was still in tip top shape, absolutely. I was talking trash the Christian way this time, but it was great. And then by the end of that summer God had made it very clear, I'm calling you to do this.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. Mm.

Noe Garcia: And so I gave it my all. I was all in. But at this point I thought, okay, I 'm a sports pastor. It's not a real pastor position. This makes sense for me.

Dave Wilson: This is our life too because we kind of made a deal with each other. This sports ministry thing is cool. Let's not get into the pastor kind of

Noe Garcia: Yes. Yeah, but even this point I'm thinking, all right, this is my culture here, sports. I have too much baggage to be a real pastor. That's for the other kids who save themselves for marriage, who grew up That's for the good people.

Ann Wilson: Right. Yeah. The good people.

Noe Garcia: I'm the one who's scarred and jacked up. I'm on the court. This is where I belong. So even then I was feeling like this is the rest of my life cuz this is what I And I'm not saying that it's you know, below being a pastor, but that that's what I thought. This is it. And then he kept opening up doors more and more. Uh one of the pastors came to me and said, hey, you're really green, which I was. I got saved at 18. Didn't even start reading my Bible till like 22. I didn't know I was supposed to.

I was never discipled.

Ann Wilson: Mm. Mm.

Noe Garcia: He said you're really green. We think you should go to seminary. And so I trusted him. And so I went to seminary in San Francisco just on faith, picked up, went there. And man, I was I was cleaning toilets. I was working three jobs. I was a parking lot attendant. I get married and meet my wife. I met her in August at my birthday party. Proposed in January, married in March, pregnant in June.

Ann Wilson: Boom. Seriously?

Noe Garcia: Oh. Seriously.

Ann Wilson: And you don't mess around, huh?

Noe Garcia: No, I'm I'm a man of obedience. I believe you know, I believe delayed obedience is disobedience. And so um I knew this was this was my wife. And so here we are and I 'm working as a parking lot attendant and going to school full time and I 'm cleaning toilets and man, I'll never forget I come from this huge mega church where I felt like my quote unquote career was going up in ministry. I felt like I was going to be somebody finally. God calls me to go to seminary and I 'm back to this.

It just making no sense. And I 'm cleaning toilets one one midnight and I sit down and I I 'm angry. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to clean this. I'm just going to do it halfway and leave and say I did it. And I'm in seminary at this point, but I 'm angry. Like what am I doing with my life? I sit down. I'm like, why did you call me here, God? And I'm just complaining. I felt like he was telling me that he was before I was going to walk into my calling, he had to fix my character.

Ann Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: And I felt like he was saying I want you to clean this as if you're serving me. And I want you to do this with faithfulness as if it's for me. And I thought yes, sir.

Ann Wilson: Mm.

Noe Garcia: So I got up and I cleaned the toilets the best that I could and I was just faithful the best that I could be to him. And then um from there I went to Nashville after I graduated seminary. I went to Arkansas, which I thought when I got to Arkansas I was going to be a lifelong college pastor. I was a college pastor. I was doing chaplain work for the Razorback teams, football team, you know, all kinds of stuff, baseball. Got close with Jimmy Dykes. He was a basketball coach there for the women. Did their stuff.

And so from there I was a college pastor. Thought I'm doing this the rest of my life from being a college pastor, called to be a senior pastor. And so I think I 've always lived my life where the suitcase has always been open. The bags have always been unpacked. But the suitcase has remained open to say I am yours. This life is not mine. I'll do whatever you want even when it doesn't make sense. It's kind of how I've lived.

Ann Wilson: Is that what you would say is the lesson of your life? I mean, you've been talking this whole time this story. And as as an outsider looking you can see God at every point. I know you couldn't in in the moment. And now you look back from the suicide attempt and a friend shows up in the room. I mean, even that moment.

Dave Wilson: Can't then, yeah. That was your shooting star.

Noe Garcia: Wow.

Ann Wilson: There's your shooting star. You're leaving the university. Cedric shows up. I mean,

Noe Garcia: Wow. I didn't think about that.

Ann Wilson: it's just you haven't thought about that. I was just like it's so apparent that God showed up in the in the people that he put around you.

Noe Garcia: That's great.

Ann Wilson: And here you are. I mean, is that the lesson?

Noe Garcia: Yeah, you know, I come across a lot of Christians today that say I feel like God has called me to do this, but they give God these parameters.

Ann Wilson: Yeah.

Noe Garcia: It's only going to be in Texas, God. It's only going to be in this city. And here's what I want to do. And then they're frustrated cuz like I don't hear it. God's not doing it. I 'm always thinking, what if you take the lid off? What if you live like your life is not actually yours and you say I will go and do whatever you want me to do and I will go wherever you want me to go. But I think we put parameters of comfort on God. We want to be comfortable in our calling.

We don't want to do something that actually makes us have faith. We want a safe plan B of comfort. Work within here so I'm comfortable, God. It was none of this was easy. It's not easy being a nomad. It's not easy having no friends and being lonely. This is not easy having to pick up and start a new life. We live in five cities. That's not fun. But my life is not my own cuz when it was it led me to a suicide attempt. And so I live like that and I would I would die like that cuz my life is his.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. I think we try to live so safe. I know I 've done it. And I I can remember early in my Christian walk sitting in church and hearing somebody give this amazing testimony up on stage and thinking, I want that.

Noe Garcia: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: And then it hit me, I'll never have that if I won't risk.

Noe Garcia: That's right.

Ann Wilson: That story I just heard the guy took a risk. That woman took a risk. And God showed up and they have this story and I'm like, no, I just want to hear stories from others and it's like, no, don't you want to be this story? And you're going to have to take a risk. I mean, your whole life is a a life of risk.

Noe Garcia: That's right. Yeah.

Dave Wilson: And Dave, that's our story. That's the story of surrender of God. We give you everything. We'll go anywhere. We'll do anything, whatever you call. And I think for our listeners to ask that question, have you said that to God? I'll do anything and go anywhere for you. Or maybe some haven't surrendered their lives to Jesus.

Ann Wilson: Yeah. Yeah.

Dave Wilson: This could be your day that you give him everything.

Noe Garcia: It's like our souls are craving surrendering.

Dave Wilson: Yeah.

Ann Wilson: They're made to surrender.

Noe Garcia: They're made to And that's when they get intimacy in those moments with God cannot be found in a book or in anything else.

Ann Wilson: That's when you find life. Yeah.

Noe Garcia: Those moments of surrender can't be substituted.

Ann Wilson: What a great day with Noe Garcia. Uh his book is called Repurposed, How God Turns Your Mess into His Message, which is something we all need.

Dave Wilson: That's That's really true for us. And I think it can be true for all of us. And you can get your copy of his book by clicking the link in the show notes at familylifetoday.com.

Ann Wilson: And we got Noe back tomorrow. See you then.

Dave Wilson: Family Life Today is a donor supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry. 50 years of helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.