1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.

Why is unconditional acceptance so important? Because if you accept only in part, you can love only in part. And if you love in part, your mate's self-esteem will never be complete.

Remember, "Perfect love casts out fear." A powerful picture of how love casts out fear is found in the book Welcome Home, Davey. While serving aboard a gunboat in Vietnam, Dave Roever was holding a phosphorus grenade some six inches from his face when a sniper's bullet ignited the explosive. Here he describes the first time he saw his face after the explosion:

When I looked in that mirror, I saw a monster, not a human being... My soul seemed to shrivel up and collapse in on itself, to be sucked into a black hole of despair. I was left with an indescribable and terrifying emptiness. I was alone in the way the souls in hell must feel alone.

Finally he came back to the States to meet with his young bride, Brenda. Just before she arrived, he watched a wife tell another burn victim that she wanted a divorce. Then Brenda walked in.

Showing not the slightest tremor of horror or shock, she bent down and kissed me on what was left of my face. Then she looked me in my good eye, smiled, and said, "Welcome home, Davey! I love you." To understand what that meant to me you have to know that's what she called me when we were most intimate; she would whisper "Davey," over and over in my ear.... By using her term of endearment for me, she said, You are my husband. You will always be my husband. You are still my man.

That's what marriage is all about. Marriage is another person being committed enough to you to accept the real you. It means two people working together to heal their deepest wounds.

Prayer: That you would have the ability to love your mate unconditionally and heal his or her deepest fears and wounds.

Discuss: How has your self-esteem been strengthened by your mate's love?

Visit the FamilyLife® Website, or Own Your Own Copy of This Devotional