Unlimited Grace

Bryan Chapell: We have been given a spirit of sonship whereby we are able to cry out to God, "Abba, Father. Daddy, daddy," knowing that we are the beloved.

Guest (Male): So glad you joined us for today's Unlimited Grace, the audio broadcast ministry of pastor and author Bryan Chapell. In today's episode, Pastor Bryan shares a lesson from Ephesians 5. In this passage, the apostle Paul is speaking to the church at Ephesus. He reminds them that just as the fragrant offerings would fill the temple, they should let the aroma of Christ remind them of His goodness and their identity found in their Savior.

You can find this lesson and many others when you visit unlimitedgrace.com. And while you're there, look for Pastor Bryan's commentary on the book of Ephesians, which he wrote for the Reformed Expository Commentary series. Dr. Chapell reveals how when we lift our eyes beyond ourselves to share Paul's expansive vision, then we, too, will join his doxology for God's amazing grace that transforms the world. Let's hear now from Dr. Bryan Chapell as he shares the lesson, "The Smell of Jesus."

Bryan Chapell: I was at a Thai restaurant in Malaysia, talking to a pastor friend there about the progress of the gospel in his nation. In Malaysia, which is predominantly Muslim, it is a crime to convert. And so, the progress of the gospel is challenged there. We were talking with fervency and earnestness of how we might minister in that particular nation.

As we talked, I kept getting distracted. For a while, I couldn't quite think why. And then I began to have a certain awareness of an odor in the room of this Thai restaurant. I began to look around and I noticed that there was a young woman in the corner of the restaurant who was shelling sweet peas into a basket. Suddenly, when I saw what it was, that odor transported me to a back porch and the swing that was there, under a shade tree where my grandmother would sit to shell sweet peas.

That odor suddenly put me on that swing with her, looking out over the garden where the butterflies and the bumblebees worked, all framed by the fields where the milk cows mooed and the watering ponds where the bullfrogs croaked. Just the smell took me from where I was, across oceans and continents and time to a distant and dear place, the place of my home, the place of my identity.

The apostle Paul is doing something very similar here for those who are at Ephesus. He is talking to Christians who know a culture very much like our own, a culture that is rampant with sensuality and sexual images that tempt us and try us and pull us away from the lives that even we want to live. It's not a mystery to the apostle Paul that those that he is talking to in the church at Ephesus would face terrible strains upon marriage, upon purity, upon holiness.

We think that the internet or the allure of our times are something new. Listen, if you think it's tough now, for the people of Ephesus, the pornographic images were put on billboards down major streets. It was major commerce and major business that everybody was appealed to. It wasn't just pagan people of low means. Even the religious elite sought to bring people into the temple by rituals of sexual fantasy.

It was hard to be a Christian and to be pure. And so, the apostle Paul says, listen, walk in love by remembering Christ, that fragrant offering, that sacrifice to God. Maybe that seems odd, but if you were a Jew, if that had been your background, then temple and town would just all the time be filled with the smell of sacrifice. It would be the smell of home.

If you've walked down a street in the wintertime and smelled the barbecue of some brave soul out trying to cook a meal and you suddenly, even in mid-winter, are taken to a summer picnic by that smell, you know what the apostle is doing. He's saying, remember what's good. Remember where the warmth of your heart is. Remember your identity. Let it take you from a distance from God back to nearness with Him.

The way in which the apostle is drawing people back in closeness to God from a place of temptation is first simply telling them, savor your identity. Verse 1, be imitators of God as beloved children. The words echo so much for us the children's song, "Behold what manner of love that He has lavished upon us that we should be called the children of God." And that is what you are.

The message from First John is even John, here with Paul now, is uniting to say you are the beloved of God. Paul has said it here already in Ephesians 2:19, "You are no longer strangers and aliens, but you're fellow citizens with God's people, even members of the household of God." If you're part of the family now, if you are precious to God, it means that He holds you, that He loves you. He knows the worst, He knows the bad, He knows the temptations, and yet you are God's beloved.

I can remember the first time that it happened to me. I'd been told that it might happen in visiting the Holy Land that there in the crowded marketplace in Jerusalem, a little child of four or five hit my leg and kind of ran past me running through the streets trying to catch up to a parent saying, "Abba, Abba, Abba," trying to get the attention of his father.

It was the reminder of scripture that we have been given a spirit of sonship whereby we are able to cry out to God, "Abba, Father. Daddy, daddy," knowing that we are the beloved. That's meant to draw us close to Him, to recognize that He has not turned away from us because He knows things about us.

I don't know if you've paid much attention to the 200 girls who have been kidnapped by Boko Haram in Northern Nigeria. This past week, there was another effort being pushed by their parents, many of them Christian parents, to renew the awareness of the government to go after their girls. In some ways, that's been surprising to those who kidnapped because the culture says if you sexually violate those girls, if you force them into marriage, then they will be unacceptable to their families anymore.

It's a way of shaming and disintegrating a family, shaming and disintegrating a culture is to take their children away. But it was amazing to see these Christian parents reflecting the thought of their own God to say to the girls, even as they are saying to the captors, it does not matter what you have done or what has been done to you. You are mine.

I watched a father hold up the picture of his daughter and say, "This is my daughter. Bring back our girls, she is mine." It's what Jesus has said to His people. It's what Paul has said for the Savior. You may have been in a distant country, you may have done wrong, it may have been done to you, but God has said through Jesus Christ, you are the beloved. And it is that reality of our relationship with God that is meant to draw us back to nearness with Him.

The second verse talks about not only our identity, but how our identity is supposed to lead us. We're not just to remember who we are, who we are is to lead us to God. Verse 2, "Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us." I hope you recognize there's a wonderful order in which these words are being said. It's the reflection of verse 1 again, "Be imitators of God as beloved children. Walk in love as you have been loved."

The reason these verses are so lovely is they are not stated in the reverse. God does not say, "I will love you after you have walked with me." He doesn't say, "Walk with me and then I'll love you." Always the relationship comes first. It's an identity that is established in an activity of the Christian. It is not activity that establishes our identity. We are made right with God by faith in what Christ has done.

What that means is God is not saying, "You get your life straightened up, you get everything fixed, you walk with me and then I'll love you." He is saying, "You come to me. You are mine. And when you know the goodness and the security and the love of my embrace, you'll want to walk with me."

Guest (Male): You're listening to Unlimited Grace, the audio broadcast ministry of pastor and author Bryan Chapell. The apostle Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians to declare God's plan that the gospel of Jesus Christ would reach the world through weak and sinful people like you and me. He writes that God has redeemed us to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth. When we lift our eyes beyond ourselves to share Paul's expansive vision, then we, too, will join his doxology for God's amazing grace that saves individuals, empowers the church, and transforms the world.

Yes, such grace really is possible, and Pastor Bryan's commentary on the book of Ephesians clearly teaches the details of this amazing truth. As a thank you for your support of our ministry here at Unlimited Grace, we would like to send you a copy of Dr. Chapell's commentary, which he wrote for the Reformed Expository Commentary series. You can request your copy of the commentary on Ephesians when you donate online at unlimitedgrace.com or by calling 844-41-GRACE. That's 844-414-7223. And now, more from Bryan Chapell on today's Unlimited Grace.

Bryan Chapell: The reality is even in the church, we confuse our "who" and our "do", right? We think what we do will establish who we are. But the gospel says who we are establishes what we do. And I know that's a familiar refrain to you, but it changes absolutely everything in the Christian life when we recognize that what we do is a result of who we are, and who we are is not a result of what we do.

There's a time in Kathy's and my life when these truths of the gospel began to affect us in more profound ways than they had before. It's not that we couldn't answer on a test somewhere or write out the facts of the gospel. But there was something in the DNA of our own upbringing, of our own raising, that we recognized was not consistent with the way we were addressing our children and what we believed about the gospel.

There was a time in my life, when my son was small, he's an adult now, that I would say something like this to my oldest son. I would say, "Colin, you're a bad boy because you did that." Now, it's easy to say, but I want you to think biblically about what I just said. You're a bad boy because you did a bad thing. In which case, his activity establishes his identity. What he did established who he was.

That's not the gospel. The gospel is the reverse in which who we are establishes what we do. It may strike you as silly, but Kathy and I put ourselves under a discipline of saying to our children, even in times of correction, things like this. "Colin, don't do that. You're my son and I love you. I want what you do to be based upon who you are. I don't want your sense of who you are to be based upon what you do."

The gospel is saying you were made right by what God has done, not by what you do. Put your faith in that and let that identity steer you into the activity. It's not just for children. It affects all of us at every phase of life. I think about marriage relationships. When Kathy and I are in tension with one another, yes, it does happen.

I'm of the generation where a Western male, my heroes are John Wayne or Harrison Ford, which means, if I'm upset, I've got two responses that I can turn to. I can get really mad. Well, I can't do that because I'm a preacher. So, the other alternative is I can get really quiet. She'll know what she did. In which case, what I'm doing is I'm treating her according to her actions.

But biblically, she is an heir together with me of the grace of life. We're in a covenant relationship. That is what establishes our identity, which means there are things to work through, yes. But we work them through on the basis of the covenant that we are in, with love and respect for one another, not on the basis of the actions of disappointment. On the basis of the reality of we are drawn together into a covenant and we are treating each other according to that, not on the basis of the activity.

Who we are establishes what we do. What we do does not establish who we are. And that reality of the covenant is what the apostle is now going to use to drive our thinking into the most difficult areas of Christian experience as he now begins to talk about what it means not just to savor your identity, but to savor your purity.

You know these words, verse 3, "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among saints." You should recognize that where verse 2 began, walk in love, is now in context and contrast with where verse 3 begins, which is, "But sexual immorality and all impurity must not even be named among you."

A few observations of just seeing these words in this context. The opposite of immorality in this passage, the opposite of immorality is not morality, but love. Why would the apostle not say the opposite of immorality is morality in Ephesian culture? Because in Ephesian culture, if morality is simply being described by social convention, by what's acceptable in the culture, then everything goes.

Instead, what he is saying is you are not called to immorality, but to love, which is saying that immorality is by definition in this context taking advantage or using another for self. That love is the opposite of immorality. Now, that of course excludes some obvious sins if we're going to avoid this immorality. Affairs, pornography, assault, sexual expression outside of marriage.

But if we're defining immorality as lovelessness, then we also should understand that this lovelessness is forced or selfish love even inside of marriage. Simply because the culture accepts it, the apostle is not going to accept it. Immorality is using anybody else's body or their passions or their insecurities for the sake of self, which ultimately is the apostle saying even another person's consent does not make it moral.

Because the believer is to be motivated primarily for the spiritual good of another, for them to understand their preciousness to God, for them to be maintained in relationship with God. So that what we are doing in our relationships as we are caring for others is caring for them. What's the example? The example he's already said, "As Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us."

What's curious here is not only is the apostle saying the opposite of immorality is not morality, but love, he is saying the antidote to immorality is not strength. "I'll just resolve to do better, I'll just be stronger." The antidote to immorality is not strength, but sacrifice. To yield, to give oneself for the sake of another.

It's Luther's theology of the cross where Martin Luther said that a true follower of Christ, to be like Christ, we must also sacrifice ourselves for the sins of others. That to some extent, we give of ourselves. So that the reason that I would not engage in pornography is not just because I know it deadens my own senses or may damage my marriage or become addictive to me. But I'm actually thinking about the impact upon those who are being consumed by the customers of pornography, who are in sexual slavery, who are being made to do things that no one, no one in their right mind would want to be in, to be put in that position by my observation, by my money, by my facilitation.

The concern is not just for me, but just for others as well. The reason that I turn away from an affair is not just because it will hurt my family, but because I'm thinking about the other person and their family. The reason that in dating life, I'm concerned for sexual purity is not just to keep myself pure, but because I'm aware for a Christian brother or sister that they themselves at some point, if God's planned it right, if God has planned it according to His plan, that they will be in a relationship with someone else.

And that part of the union of an early marriage life is people in innocence discovering sexual expression in trust with one another. And that to take somebody away from that is actually to hurt their ability to be united as God intended. The whole notion in our culture today that regardless of what The Bachelor or The Bachelorette says, that we're going to find out if we're sexually compatible before marriage so that we'll find out if we're sexually compatible in marriage is ridiculous.

There is no study that confirms that. Every study says that if you're sexually active before marriage, you end up in the comparison mode with other people and you end up in some ways questioning the relationship you're in now that you're in it. It doesn't stay the same. It's damaging before you even get there. Not just for yourself.

The sacrifice of Christ means I'm thinking of the other person too. That how I dress and how I behave, all those things are part of my responsibility not just for me, but toward the other person. Because I'm called to walk as Christ did in sacrifice for others. Purity is actually part of mission.

We know that in the ancient Roman world, Christianity spread so rapidly in some ways because the Romans themselves had grown so sick of their own profanity and obscenities. And they looked at Christians as those who in all their innocence and naivete and seeming kind of non-sophistication had glorious, wonderful families. And there was something deep in the heart of the Roman culture that wanted that special treasure again of a family of love and innocence where people truly lived for one another.

How do we live that way? These are not particularly rocket science types of ideas. The apostle says something like this. Sexual immorality, verse 3, purity, covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among the saints. Now, he says it shouldn't be named among you and he just named them.

No, it's the notion of these things should not be labels upon you. This should not be the label of Christians, that you are immoral, that you are involved in covetousness, that is remembering coveting somebody else's wife. Verse 4, "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving."

I must tell you, when you read those words, you think, well, is the Lord really so petty that He's bothered by a dirty joke? I mean, it can be really funny. No, I don't think that's the point. I don't think the Lord is terribly offended by words that He knew before you said them. I think the Lord is recognizing that what happens in human endeavor is we see what we say.

So if from the time that we're young, if the time that we're palling around with other people, we begin to identify certain people or body parts or sexual functions with words that are vulgar and profane, then when there is that time of treasured intimacy with someone that you love most in the world, it's hard to see that person as the treasure, as the beauty, as the sensitive one that you intend because you've got other words and images in your mind.

The evil one knows what he's doing. If I can get you to think in images and words and phrases that now make you see another person as objects so that you're willing to take advantage of them for your own pleasure even though they're consenting, do you not recognize what lovelessness now will do if the sexual act itself becomes just something of satisfying self instead of honoring and respecting, pleasing and cherishing another? As God is talking here in just plain words, He says this. Listen, the other thing that you must know is you will not only see what you say, ultimately you will do what you say.

Guest (Male): That's Pastor Bryan Chapell, and you've been listening to Unlimited Grace. If this message has been an encouragement to you, you can find a collection of more valuable resources at unlimitedgrace.com. When you visit, you will find today's message and many others from Pastor Bryan. Also, be sure to request a copy of Dr. Chapell's commentary on Ephesians. We'll send you this book right away as our way of saying thank you for your most generous financial support. Once again, go to unlimitedgrace.com or you can give by calling 844-41-GRACE. Please be sure to join us next time as once again we endeavor to put Christ at the center of our efforts so that lives might be transformed by His unlimited grace. This ministry is brought to you by Unlimited Grace Media and continues to be made possible with your generous financial support.