The Word Made Plain

Guest (Male): Welcome to The Word Made Plain with Senior Pastor Tony Clark of Calvary Chapel Newport News in Virginia. Currently Pastor Tony is teaching a study in the book of Acts. Please open your Bible to Acts chapter 15, verses 37 through 41.

Paul goes out on his second missionary journey this time with Silas as his partner. Now please don't think that Silas was just some scrub or something. No, he was a very gifted and trustworthy man being involved in the Jerusalem Council that we saw in the first part of verse 15.

He was one of two men to take the letter to the church in Antioch of Syria of their decision according to Acts 15:22. These two traveled together to many of the cities just not only spread the good news of Jesus Christ but to check on those believers that they led to Christ some five years earlier.

Tony Clark: As I looked at this and I began to say, okay, Paul partnered up with Silas. And I began to think, who are you partnered up with in ministry? When it comes to ministry, who are you partnered with? We have a saying: never do ministry alone. Paul had Silas, someone he could rely upon. The question is, are you reliable? It is still said and it is still right: the greatest ability is availability.

Are you available? If we were to say, hey, we need somebody to come and do this and that, would that be you? Or would you be trying to hide behind somebody's head so we don't pick you? Are you reliable? See this is something you have to check your own heart about. Because many people say, "Oh God, I want You to use me," but are you available? But you are available for everything else: the kids' games and grandkids' stuff and you got this on the job and the company party and all this sort of stuff.

But when it comes to the kingdom of God, you are not available. But you secretly in your heart are like, "Hey, God, I want God to use me." Are you available to be used? What is so amazing to me is this: that the one group of people who were available, who were entrusted with the message that Jesus Christ was resurrected, were the women. They were the last ones at the cross and the first ones at the tomb. And God used them. He used them because they were available.

Are you even available? Or do you have so much work and work? The Bible says a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat. We know we have to work. We know that. But are you available for the things of God? Let me tell you something. When we get to heaven, no one is going to care about how many hours you put on the job. Not one person. Not one time will you be asked that. How many hours you work down there? Not one person is going to ask that. Not one.

And it is still an old saying but it's true: only what you do for Christ will last. You're going to be judged based upon the works that you did for the Lord. Now it has nothing to do with your salvation. Your salvation is sealed at the cross of Jesus Christ. But what you are going to be judged based upon are the works that you did for Him. Not the works in order to be saved. No, works because you are saved.

And I just wonder. We got so many excuses when it comes to the things of God and being available for God. And we are never available. I want to just jump up and down and do one of those slow claps if I see you three weeks in a row. I am just amazed. So what can we learn from this incident? What can we say about it? What Satan meant for evil, God used for good.

Satan tried to bring discord and disunity between Paul and Barnabas to try to destroy their efforts of going back out there to check on those new believers. And let me just say this, parents. Satan's greatest weapon is to bring disunity and disharmony between the two of you. Jesus said it Himself: a house divided cannot stand. Therefore, he knows if he brings disharmony and disunity in your home, he got your home.

You know why? Because just like it took a man and a woman to have that child, it takes a man and a woman to raise that child. There is a uniqueness about each of us that needs to be poured into the children so they can grow up balanced. There is a softness and a tenderness about moms that there is nothing like you on the face of the earth. There is a tenderness and a softness.

When we hurt ourselves, we don't want our daddies. "Boy, get up and go on back out there, ain't nothing but a little scratch." He needs about 10 stitches. "Ain't nothing but a little scratch. Get on back out there, boy. When I was your age, boy, I used to have two or three of those a day." When you cry, you want the tenderness and the softness of your mother. And then there is a thing that we bring as men.

There is a strength, there is a sturdiness and there is a steadfastness that we bring that gives that kid balance that he's not just all soft but that he has a strength about them. And both together it brings and a kid is raised balanced. I can always tell those who have been raised by or came up in a two-parent home. I can always tell. And I can tell who has been brought up in a single mother's home and, nowadays, even a single father's home.

I can tell the difference because there is always that aspect of the parent that is missing. There is always that aspect that is a little bit lacking in that person's life. I can always tell it. And this is not a knock. What I will knock is for how you moms try to say you are mother and father. Stop it. You can never be a man. It takes a man to show a boy how to be a man. It takes one to know one to show one. It takes a man.

You can never show a boy how to be a man. Never. And we can never show a child how to be a mother. Trust me and don't want to. We cannot. We don't. We lack. We don't have that tenderness and softness that you have and that way you love and you tuck them in the little nook. We don't have that ability. When we try to hug on a kid we muscle-bulge them in their face. We lack it.

So stop saying you are mother and father. You are not. You can never be that. I will tell you lovingly in your face: you are not. Stop saying that. Because this is what you are saying in essence. You are standing there all of a sudden one day, poof, your stomach pops out and you're with child. You did it by yourself because you are mother and father. That sounds ridiculous. You didn't do that. You didn't do it by yourself.

Stop. It takes a man to show a boy how to be a man. My father showed me what a man was in the home. A man goes out and he works, he brings home the bacon. There is an authority that he carried. All my mom had to do is say, "Wait till your daddy gets home." Boy, we shook with fear. Tried to put on two or three pair of pants and shirt because we know we were going to get it. And he's spanking and all you hear is muff, muff.

And he knew what was going on. But we shuddered and we are looking at the clock: it is almost time for him to come home. There is that healthy fear that was established as the man in the home that is so lacking today. So Satan's job is to bring discord. Therefore that little one will grow up and will have just a little imbalance in their lives. Not saying they can't be productive in the world and such type, not saying that.

But it just like it took two to have them, it takes two to raise them. That is just what it takes. So here it is. Satan tried to bring disunity and disharmony and disrupt Paul and Barnabas. This powerful team. So what Satan meant for evil, God will use it for good. Just like Romans 8:28 says, all things are working together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

And instead of one dynamic missionary team, now there's two. Now there's two. So here it is. Just please know that Satan is behind all disharmony and disunity. This includes the disharmony between you and your children's father and vice versa. And let me tell you something. There is a reason why there is a saying "baby mama drama." There is a reason for that. Satan is behind all the disunity.

So often there is baby mama drama because you are not stepping up to be the man in that child's life like you are supposed to be and she's ticked about it. And then you call it "baby mama drama" and all the time she's ticked because of how you got the goods and now ran and now there is a baby left behind and you want nothing to do... all you wanted were the goods. Somebody needs to hear that today.

God bless your soul. So all disunity: disunity between in-laws. All that Satan is behind all of that. His job is to divide and conquer. If he can bring disharmony, if he can split you guys up, that precious child that needs both of those parents, one is gone and that child grows up just a little imbalanced. And Satan knows he can wreak havoc in that kid's life as a result of the lack that that kid had by not having that other parent in his life.

Somebody needs to hear this today. However we all know that the realization is that sometimes relationships break up as a result of disharmony and disunity. So how can we handle situations like this? Because no doubt about it relationships bust up. How do we handle it? How do we deal with this? We know that later on Paul and Barnabas made up and reconciled their differences because Paul spoke very highly of the ministry of Barnabas in 1 Corinthians 9:6.

We also know that Paul made up with John Mark because at the end of Paul's life John Mark was one of his co-laborers and he became one of his close friends. We know that John Mark also became a close friend of Peter according to 1 Peter 5:13. So we know, hey, he got his act together. And the Gospel of Mark, the second book of the New Testament, was written by John Mark. So he got his act together.

Everybody made up, kissed and hugged and all that sort of stuff. But what about you? All of us have experienced break ups. But after hearing this message what are you going to do to make up? Let's look at all the people involved because you can relate. Somebody we can relate to one of these people. One of these people in this story relates to us. Let's look at all of them. See which one you relate to.

John Mark. Yes, he needed to mature and grow up. And maybe you can relate to him. You realize that you were young and inexperienced and ran prematurely from a relationship or a partnership. Maybe you need to apologize to a Paul that you bailed out on and left them hanging. Humble yourself and say how immature you were and ask for forgiveness for inconveniencing that person and by quitting on them.

Maybe you're John Mark. You may not necessarily have to be inexperienced in age. You could have been inexperienced in that field or whatever it was you were doing. And because it became a little too much and your inexperience you bailed on them. Maybe you need to apologize to a Paul. Maybe that is you. Or maybe you relate to Barnabas. Maybe he was a little biased concerning John Mark being his nephew.

Maybe he could hear his sister in his ear saying, "You better look out for my boy out there." Maybe he can hear that. "You better look out for him." If you can relate to him then you need to apologize to Paul for allowing this family relationship to destroy your friendship and cause the break up. Maybe you need to apologize to a Paul. And maybe you're like me. I relate more to Paul.

And maybe you need to apologize to a John Mark for being so hard on him and not showing enough grace. Oh, I just thought about this. Maybe somebody needs to do that with their children. You're a Paul, you're a parent and you've been really hard on a particular child and you need to apologize to them. Humble yourself. "I'm the parent." Humble yourself for not showing them enough grace and being so hard on them.

See I relate more to Paul. And on top of that if you relate to Paul you may also need to apologize to Barnabas for trying to come in between him and his nephew and not believing that John Mark was different. And as you can see, no one is exempt from blame. Everyone's hands, everyone's hands are dirty. Because it is so easy to say, "Well, I was in..." No one is innocent. Everybody's hands have blood on them when it comes to this situation.

John Mark, he was immature, yes. Barnabas, maybe a little biased. Paul, a little hard. Hey, everybody's hands has blood on it. Don't think you are little Miss Innocent. Now, who should initiate reconciliation? The older, more mature one, who was Paul. I believe that Paul was the one who reached out and constantly reached out. We see from 2 Timothy chapter 4 and verse 11 where he says, "Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for the ministry."

I believe that Barnabas and Paul got it back together again. We see the implications of it in 1 Corinthians 9:6. We see it in the case of Abraham. Abraham was the one who initiated reconciliation with his nephew Lot in Genesis 13:8. Abraham the more mature one went to his younger nephew to get things right. And I will ask again, what about you?

Are you going to be the more mature one that seeks to get things right with someone you're at odds with? See this doesn't mean that you're going to get back into a relationship with this person, no. But you are just ending the strife and the hard feelings between you and that person. You're dealing with the elephant in the room when you're around them and acting weird, you don't want to look their way and trying to pretend you are really engaged with talking with this person knowing they are right over here.

Hey, you're dealing with the elephant in the room. Let me tell you something, it's a very humbling thing. But God will bless you when you humble yourself in this area. There is a verse not on the screen, James 4:6. It said that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. That word "resist" it can be translated "oppose." I don't want God opposing me. I need all the help I can get.

And when we humble ourselves He pours out the grace and enables us to humble ourselves to that person. Let me tell you, I've had to do this. I've had to do this. I'm not telling you to do something that I didn't have to do. I had to do this in a major way. I had to do several times to several guys. I had to go to them and humble myself. It doesn't matter what I felt they did to me. I wanted to be set free.

And I had to be set free so I had to humble myself and I needed God's grace to do it. I went to each one of them and asked for their forgiveness. Humbling, humbling process. Humbling. One guy didn't respond for a whole year. But see I was set free. See that is the thing, it sets you free. Because you're still stuck in the prison of unforgiveness. And God wants to set you free.

See we have to understand that there is a freedom that God wants us to experience. Because many of you, you're harboring unforgiveness, resentment, hurt, anger. And because each day goes by and you are going on with life you think you're over it. You're not over it. Because as I talk about this it pulled the scab off for some of your lives. And I am telling you it's humbling.

But the freedom that is offered when you do it is priceless. You can't put a price on it. They may say, "Well, about time you came to me. You should have been apologizing." And don't you go like, "Wait a minute! I was trying to come to you right, now you're going to come to me like this?" No, just say, "Hey, I just was just trying to just fix things between us." And you're set free. However they respond, that is on them.

You are set free. You no longer have to carry the hurt and the resentment. You're set free. Be set free. God wants to set you free. And many of you are just going around and you don't realize you wear it on your face over a period of time. You wear that hurt, that resentment, that baby daddy mess. You wear it on your face. And some of the men they carry just the weight of that baby mama drama. These terms came from somewhere.

And I am telling you, the Lord wants to set you free. So where did Paul and Silas go? Look at verse 41. "And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches." Seeing that Barnabas and John Mark were already in Cyprus according to verse 39, Paul and Silas went in the area of Galatia from the opposite end. And we will see what happened once they got there next time.

Let me conclude with this: break up to make up. All of us on one level or another have experienced a break up, but have you attempted to make up? I am recommending this because you don't want to go through life just carrying the baggage of the hurt, the unforgiveness and resentment of the break up. Jesus wants to heal you in this area and you may have to initiate the making up.

Or in the near future, this person may come to you to make up and you have to be ready to make up. Maybe the marriage is over. But have it where the children now have two dynamic parental teams like Barnabas and Paul. Or maybe you're struggling in this area and you're like, "I just need some help because I am still angry, I am still hurt." We want you to leave that at the foot of the cross.

There is going to be some people to pray with you. Maybe you can't let go. So often when we don't forgive, we don't realize how much we have been forgiven. And maybe you need to be born again. You need to repent of your sins and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart and you make Him your Lord and Savior. Maybe you need to be born again because only born again believers can forgive.

Because we are most like God when we give and when we forgive. And if you can't forgive maybe you don't realize how much you've been forgiven. Don't you want to be set free from this? Ladies, that man, don't you want to be set free from the hurt of that man? Let me tell you something. He's moved on. He ain't thinking one thing about you and you soaking every day. I told you, bitterness, unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

No, you're the one that's dying. They've moved on. And you know what, them moving on makes you even angrier. Don't you want to let it go? Don't rush out of here without doing business with God. Let's pray.

Father, thank You. Thank You for Your word. Thank You for all that You have done for us. Thank You for speaking into our hearts. I pray, God, that Your Holy Spirit will move in our hearts and in our lives today. I pray, Lord, that You would set Your people free today. Lord, there's some that need to be born again. They need to repent and they need to accept You as their Lord and Savior. Draw them to You today. Lord, I pray for those who are hurt, those with resentment, unforgiveness. Lord, I pray that they would not leave here with that same hurt and unforgiveness. Do a work, we pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.

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