Springs Lighthouse Church

Pastor Brian Michaels: Matthew 19. Matthew Chapter 19. It's not good for me to be out of breath already.

Father, thank you. Thank you just for being our God. Thank you for seeing us through the highs and the lows of life. And Lord, as we approach another difficult section of scripture—not difficult to understand, not difficult to comprehend or to explain, but Father, difficult to live many times—Lord, we pray that you would be the one who guides us through it.

Lord, I pray that there would be just a sense of your spirit working in our hearts today. Lord, that you would challenge and correct us where that is our need, that you would comfort us and put your arms of protection around us where that is what we need. Lord, we pray that you would be all things to us today.

You are the great I AM, the becoming one. You are whatever we need you to be in this moment, and you know what that is. So Father, we trust you. We trust you to take us through this text. We trust you to teach us. We trust you to encourage our hearts. In Jesus' name, Amen. Amen.

Matthew, as he writes this gospel account, and we came to Chapter 19 last week coming out of Chapter 18, he's not trying at this point in the writing to record everything chronologically. That's not his intention. He will get more chronological in the details of what he's telling us about the life and ministry of Christ when we get to Holy Week, because all of the gospel writers do that. But they're not all concerned with laying everything out in a chronological order. They're trying to get us a wide-orbed picture of who Jesus is and what he has done.

And I think Matthew, maybe more than many of the others, tends to group things together that continue a flow. And every once in a while, though I am very grateful for the chapter and verse breaks in the scripture—Amen? I mean, if I just said, "Turn to the Gospel according to Matthew to the place where Jesus is asked a question about divorce," some of you would find it about the time that we finish. And you're like, "Not as long as you go, we wouldn't." But anyway, we would have a hard time finding these places in the scripture.

Someone wisely decided, "Hey, let's divide it into chapters," and then a little later, "Let's divide it into verses." So obviously we're grateful for that, but every once in a while, it causes us to miss the flow of something. We miss the context. We read Chapter 18 and we close our Bible and we come back a day or two later and we open it and we read Chapter 19. But I really believe that Chapter 19 flows directly from Chapter 18.

What have we been talking about over the last two weeks? In Chapter 18, Jesus has dealt with resolving conflict and then understanding that we can try everything that he says, but sometimes conflict cannot be resolved. One person can be obstinate, hard-hearted, and refuse to resolve the conflict. What do we do then? Well, let's talk about forgiveness. And that was a tough one last week for a lot of people dealing with the issue of forgiveness. Big hurts cause difficulty in forgiving.

And then he comes into this area dealing with marriage and divorce. I don't think that's by accident, because I believe that this is one of the areas where forgiveness is often hard to come by and is always desperately needed. Forgiveness in the marital relationship is an absolute must. But sometimes it gets really hard, doesn't it? Because over the course of time, over the course of the years, we end up with hurts piling up. We live too close to each other as a husband and wife to not hurt each other and wound each other. Sometimes it's unintentional, sometimes we're just stupidly intentional in how we hurt each other.

It's bound to happen, and then these things pile up. So I think it's intentional that Matthew comes straight into this section. Now, every week I encourage you to read ahead, right? And you all read ahead, right? Some of you did not. That's okay. I want you to know I don't get frustrated over that. I trust God with that. I'll encourage you to read ahead, and if you don't, it doesn't bother me. In fact, sometimes I'm grateful. Some of you would not be here this morning if you knew that this was today's topic.

I have struggled with this all week. Lord, why in the world would you have me talking about marriage and divorce on Mother's Day weekend? Because I didn't plan this out. I just go to the stopping point, and next week I pick up at the next starting point, right? That's the beauty of verse-by-verse teaching. But every once in a while it's just like, "Seriously, God? We got to talk about this issue today?"

Let me say this coming into this topic: There is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. And when we start talking about the issue of marriage, the issue of divorce, we need to start there. There's no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, so this will not be a time of condemnation. It is my responsibility to teach what the scripture says, no matter how hard that may be, no matter how much I realize some will be hurt by going through a section like this. It'll bring up old pains and wounds, and I get that. But we cannot shy away from calling things what God calls them.

When we read passages like this and God says, "This is what this is," we have to say it. However, divorce is not the unpardonable sin. The only unpardonable sin is rejection of Jesus Christ. And so if you're here today and you've gone through the heartache of divorce, please do not let the enemy come in and condemn you with this, because there's no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. And I want you to hang on to that first and foremost.

Wherever we find ourselves relationally right now, we need to understand marriage is a critically important issue to the Lord. It's why he says so much about it in his word. It's why we have passages like this to have to go through. But wherever we are right now at this moment—married, divorced, single—we have to move on in our walk with God from here. So we talk about these things and we study these things.

Verse one: It came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings—all the sayings on forgiveness—that he departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them there. If you weren't here last week, I encourage you to jump online and listen to last week's study. We talked about this and how amazing this must have been.

Great multitudes followed him, and he healed them there. The Pharisees also came to him, testing him. Completely oblivious, apparently, to the massive mighty work God is doing, they come with one purpose. They want to try to trip Jesus up. So here's their question. They came to him saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"

The question is couched this way because it was not an option for a woman to divorce a man in that day in the Jewish culture. So when they come with this question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"—well, why didn't they ask if it's lawful for a wife to divorce her husband? Because you couldn't. It was not, period. End of story. You didn't have those kinds of options back in that day. Only the men did.

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Where does this question come from? Well, it stems from something in Deuteronomy Chapter 24. I will read you that passage in a moment. This is where the question is coming from. That passage talks about divorce for the reason of uncleanness. So the big issue became: How do we define uncleanness? If someone can get divorced because they find some uncleanness in their bride, what does that mean? It was the topic of debate. It was the hot topic being discussed at the water coolers. It was every day on *The View*. Because Trump hadn't arrived yet to be hated so much. So they were talking about this issue of marriage and divorce and all of these things.

There were two rabbinical schools of thought. One was conservative, one was liberal. Hillel, the Rabbi Hillel, taught a liberal understanding of this, and his teaching was that a man could divorce his wife for almost anything. Uncleanness meant almost anything. And there were some specific examples. Husbands could divorce their wives if she twirled in public. It was undignified, so he could divorce his wife. Wearing your hair down, ladies, was grounds for your husband to divorce you. It could mean burning his dinner. How many of you are going, "Uh oh"?

If she raised her voice in an argument loud enough to be heard in the street—then again, some of us are like, "Whoa." If she dissed her in-laws, it was grounds for divorce. Rabbi Akiva said that a man could divorce his wife if he found a woman that was cleaner than his wife. In other words, if he found someone more desirable, more attractive than his wife, then he could divorce her.

Naturally, Hillel's interpretation was the most popular one among the men. But the other school of thought was conservative, taught by rabbis like Shammai. And Shammai said that uncleanness meant only one thing: adultery. That's all that it meant. It was the only reason for divorcing your wife. Now we'll come back to that idea as we move through the text.

This is why they ask the question. They figure either way Jesus answered, he's going to be on the wrong side of somebody. "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" Verse four: Jesus answered and said to them, "Have you not read?" I love it when Jesus does this. This is such a cutting comment. Get these Pharisees some cortisone, would you? Because they've just been scorched. "Hey, pastors, have you ever read your Bible?" That's what he's saying. Can you imagine me going—I'm teaching at a pastor's conference the beginning of June. Can you imagine me standing up there and going, "Guys, you read your Bible?" I mean, he is just smoking them at this moment.

"Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female?" Listen, whatever you might want to adopt from our culture—and I will say this, we live in a free country, you are permitted to think whatever you want according to what our country says—but you've got some issues to take up with Jesus if you think there's 97 genders. In the beginning, he created them male and female. If God had created them male and male, or female and female, no life would have come out of the Garden of Eden. You and I would not be sitting here having this conversation today.

But he made them male and female. I love this. They're asking a question about divorce, and Jesus says, "Nah, let's go back and talk about marriage." There is no divorce without marriage, so let's start there. And I love that Jesus doesn't answer their question directly at first. He says, "Let's go back and take a look at what God's intention was from the beginning." He made them male and female. Verse five: "And said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.'" He didn't say a man will leave his father and husband. He didn't say he'll be joined to his husband. He didn't say he'll be joined to his domestic partner. He said he will be joined to his wife, "and the two"—how many? Two. Not three, no throuple here. It's a couple. "The two shall become one flesh."

Let's talk about a couple of things. Jesus goes back to deal with marriage. He says it was God's institution, doesn't he? And when did God originate the idea and institute the idea of marriage? With the first man and the first woman in the Garden of Eden. This was God's institution from the beginning.

On a side note, I will just say this: whatever you choose to believe about origins, it's clear Jesus believed in a creation. So if you're like, "Well, I don't know, I'm still struggling with that creation thing," that's okay, but take it up with Jesus. Explain to him why you think you know more than he does. Just that simple. So a man will leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Anything else is perversion. Anything else is perversion.

I don't mean perversion as a pejorative word. I don't mean it as, "He's calling me a pervert." No, what I'm saying is it is a perversion of God's original intent for what marriage was supposed to be. When we take something that has an original intent and we twist it all around, we are perverting that thing. And when we begin to try and write our own rules about what marriage is, we're perverting God's intention. He made them male and female, Adam and Eve. He didn't make Adam and Ed. And again, if he had, then no life would have come out of the garden.

We need to be able to say it: homosexuality, according to the scripture, is a sin. It also is not the unpardonable sin, but it's something that needs to be dealt with in the eyes of God. And we have to be true to what the scripture says, but we also have to not be hateful, and we have to be loving towards those that are stuck in that bondage, and we need to minister to them with the love of Christ. And that's where I think sometimes the church struggles to find that balance in doing so.

A man shall leave—oh, I might also say, he said male and female, not Adam and Eve and Wanda and Bridget. So polygamy, polyamory, all of that stuff that's starting to gain traction in our society, not according to God. "But I know, pastor, that there are polygamous marriages in the Bible. There are great men of the faith that had more than one wife." Yes, the scripture records it, it does not condone it. It records man's weakness, it does not condone man's weakness. And many, many times, especially with men that we would consider heroes of the faith, many times the scripture records that they had multiple wives and, alongside of that, records the difficulties that arose because of that very issue. "Well, how come women never had multiple husbands?" Because they're so much smarter than that.

It also says a man shall leave his father and mother. This is really fascinating to me. Who were the father and mother that Adam and Eve would leave when God gives this instruction? Weren't any. A man shall leave his father and mother—who was Adam going to leave at that point? See, this tells us that God's intention for marriage was not just for that moment in the garden. It was for every successive generation afterwards, right up to here.

You leave father and mother and be joined to your wife, and the two become one flesh. There is a change in the former relationship. Men, you need to hear this. Some of you need to hear this. I'm not saying and suggesting in any way, shape, or form we cut ties with our parents. There may be boundary issues where maybe that becomes necessary, but the Bible doesn't instruct us to do that. What it's saying is there is a new priority in your home. And it's not "Your wife wants something, let me check with Mommy." What Mommy wants doesn't matter, quite frankly. I know it's Mother's Day and that's a really tough one. Not in comparison with what your wife wants. There's a new relationship, there's a new family unit that is formed.

The two shall become one flesh, indicating that the sexual union in marriage was also created and ordained by God. I don't understand how we got to a place where the church was so afraid to talk about the issue of sex from the pulpit. It's why we have Kids Cove—no, I mean why the kids are over there rather than in here. It's also that. That was so unintentional. They didn't get the benefit of that last night, so welcome to the 9:00.

No, listen, God didn't look down in the garden and go, "Gabriel, what are they doing?" It was his design, it was his intention to bring unity in the marital relationship. You leave your father and mother, you are joined to your wife, the two become one flesh. Now, the question that Jesus was asked originally comes from Deuteronomy Chapter 24, the first four verses, as I mentioned previously. You don't need to turn there; jot them down in your notes, take a look at them later, make sure I'm telling you the truth.

But here's what it says: "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; when she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then the former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance."

My intention this morning is not to exposit Deuteronomy Chapter 24 verses one through four. But I will say this, as I read through that, was that really dealing with the issue of divorce and its lawful reasons? No, it was talking about a situation where a man divorces his wife, sends her out, and then later on wants to bring her back and marry her again. And the point is just simply this: don't take rash actions where it concerns your marriage. Contemplate this, think about what you're doing; this is not to be taken lightly. That's what God is saying.

For so many reasons, the Bible says God hates divorce. He hates it. It's sin. He hates all sin. But when we look at that issue—and listen, we're not talking about people that have grounds, okay? We'll talk about that in just a moment. There are biblical grounds for divorce. And I'm not saying that you're sinning if you go in that direction. What I am saying is God's intent was that we stay together and that almost anything that occurs, we try to work it out. And you don't just wake up and have a bad day and say, "I divorce you" and send her out and then say, "Oh, you know, I feel really bad, I shouldn't have done that. I think I'll take her back." No, not an option.

That's what the passage is dealing with. But then there's that one word, "uncleanness." "He has found some uncleanness in her." And that's what the rabbis latched onto to try and build their case for whether that means anything or it means only the issue of adultery. How do we define the word uncleanness? And the Hebrew word does use it in the context of a sexual uncleanness. But many believe that it means more than just adultery because there was a separate distinct word Moses could have used in Deuteronomy 24 that would mean adultery and only adultery. He uses a more encompassing word.

Besides that fact, adultery was not punishable by divorce, was it? Under the law, it was punishable by death. Then divorce doesn't become necessary at that point, right? So he probably didn't only mean adultery. The word can be used to refer to any sexual relationship outside of marriage that causes a sinful breach in a relationship that the offended person cannot find their way through to get over. And in that instance, Moses allowed them to pursue divorce, to write their wife a certificate of divorce because of some unlawful sexual context, some sexual relationship outside of the marriage vow.

When Jesus even talks about this, when we get into these verses and he uses the word uncleanness and he uses the word adultery, he uses different words as well. One is more broad and the other is very specific. I think God uses more encompassing language than just adultery to talk about a violation of the sexual relationship within a marriage unit. He uses it because he knows our tendency to try and find loopholes to get around God's law. And so he doesn't make it all that specific.

In fact, Jesus doesn't even really deal with the definition of uncleanness in what he's saying here. What does he do? "Is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason?" He says, "Let's get away from that and let's go to talk about God's original intent in marriage." And he takes them back to Genesis Chapter 2. Was divorce and remarriage an option in Genesis Chapter 2? No. You've only got one dude and one chick. That's all you got. What was Adam going to do, divorce Eve and go find another? There was no other. So obviously Jesus, taking them back to God's original intent, he's saying, "You're talking about the law. I want to precede the law. I want to go back before the law. Let's talk about that issue, because you're focused on the law of God; I want to talk about the heart of God."

Let's talk about God's heart. Verse six: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." This is part of the reason why, actually, you may have been to a wedding where the person who's performing the ceremony says, "If there is anyone here who knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." I will never say that in a marriage ceremony. Because I don't care what anybody else thinks at that moment. You've got two believers who both have the spirit of God in them; they have to seek the Lord about whether they are to be joined together. Amen?

What God has joined together, then I don't care that anyone else wants to try and separate it. In fact, I take that approach even into premarital counseling. I do not believe it is my place to try and determine whether a couple is compatible with one another. What does that even mean? If both of them are loving Jesus with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, they're probably going to be able to put up with each other. They're probably going to forgive when one harms the other, hurts the other, sins against the other, right?

So who am I to say, "Well, I don't know, I don't think you are compatible"? I do think premarital counseling is a great place to bring up issues where you find out all of a sudden the two realize that they're not on the same page on an issue. And then it's like, "Go to wherever you go to spend time together, get on your knees together and start praying through this, because it would be better to enter into the marriage relationship being on the same page." But it's not my place to decide what God is doing in their lives. I don't stand between them and God; neither do any of us.

What God has joined together, let not man separate. Everything else springs from this. Everything else. Marriage is God's institution; we are on shaky ground when we start messing with it. And I do believe that our society, having made divorce so simple and carefree, has dishonored God. Because God's desire is that our marital relationships are a picture to the world around us of Christ's love for the church and the church's responding in love to Christ. He is our bridegroom, we are the bride. He reaches out to us, he loves us, he cares for us, he sacrifices for us, and we, out of love in return, respond to him. That's the way a marriage should look, and it should paint a picture of the church.

Let me say this, because I think this is really fascinating to me: as near as I can tell, marriage is the only thing that survived the fall. God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, and then man sinned, creation fell, mankind fell. We became sinful by nature, passed on through the father to every successive generation; it's why we need a savior. But the only thing that survived the fall was marriage.

It's interesting to me because when we read Ephesians 5 and we see marriage lifted up as an illustration of God's relationship with the church, marriage is an opportunity for us to grow in showing forth love and forgiveness as God does for us. And divorce seriously muddies that picture. Again, there's no condemnation if you've been there now. If you are sitting here in that place and you've been divorced, this is not to just heap condemnation on you. God wants more for you than that. But we have to realize that it does muddy the picture that God intended.

So they said to him, verse seven: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?" Well, first of all, that's a twisted question. I just read you the passage. Did Moses command the man to put her away? Did Moses command the man? No. He could write her a certificate of divorce and he could divorce her. That's not a mandate; that's a permission. Those are very different things. He didn't command anything of the sort.

Now the Pharisees are thinking, "Aha, we've got him. You say we shouldn't divorce; Moses said it was okay." And he said to them, verse eight: "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." It was not a command, it was permitted. That doesn't mean it was God's ultimate desire. It was a concession to human weakness because God knows our frame, that we are simply dust. We, as men and women, struggle.

From the beginning it was not so. "And I say to you"—this had to again rub the Pharisees the wrong way. This is an issue of authority, had to drive the Pharisees nuts. "Well, Moses says," and Jesus says, "But I say." "Are you telling us you're better than Moses?" Yes. I made him.

"I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." And there's where there are two different words that are used. Jesus uses a word that is translated here "sexual immorality"—it's the Greek word *porneia*, from which we get our word pornography, that speaks of a wide range of sexual sin. And then he says "commits adultery," which is a very specific word that only means adultery. "And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

Okay, I think I've made it clear that in that situation, we're calling this sin. But I hate that the church has so often used the phrase, "Well, you divorced or you married a divorced person and therefore you are living in adultery." It never says that. Doesn't say they're living in; it says they committed. Okay, it was sin. Fine. You've dealt with it, we move on. In the situation you find yourself now, you move forward in your walk with Christ.

Divorce involves adultery because God knows the breach in a relationship that adultery can bring. It scars the soul, it hurts the kids, it damages God's reputation because it ruins that picture that God intended. But it's a commission of an offense, not a continued perpetual living in that state. If you are that person who's divorced someone or you've married someone who is divorced, or whatever your scenario is, you are not continuing to live as an adulterer; that is not what this says. You have been forgiven, cleansed, set free by the blood of Jesus Christ.

But for you that are sitting here today contemplating divorce, this is not a permission. "Well, pastor said I could go to—I'd commit a sin, I'll just ask for forgiveness later." You know the problem with that mentality? "I'll just ask God for forgiveness later and he'll forgive me." He's a very forgiving God. But that hardness of heart, that attitude of heart, often causes us not to seek forgiveness later. That's just the simple reality. So we don't want to go there.

Sexual immorality is biblical grounds for divorce. But while it is grounds, it is not a mandate. I have seen, the church leadership here has seen, so many marriages that have even dealt with the issue of adultery; we have seen them healed by the blood of Jesus Christ. And so while it is given as a permission, it is not a mandate: "Well, they committed adultery, you have to divorce them." No, you don't. You may need some time to deal with everything that's gone through, you may need some counseling, you may need some space. But there can be healing that Jesus can bring as well.

His disciples, merry band that they are, his disciples said to him, verse 10: "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." What they're basically saying is, "Well, if we can't divorce them someday, then we should never marry them." What a bunch of lunatics. Listen, everyone knows that marriage can be a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

We all know that there are days like that, right? I mean, you generally don't have to be married very long to find out that what God did in his cosmic sense of humor was take two people that, first of all, they're male and female. Those brains don't work the same. We don't think the same, we don't process information the same, we don't respond to information the same. And then never mind the gender specificity; then you deal with all of our upbringing and the way that we were raised and the family units that we came out of and our value systems that we grew up with and all of those kinds of things, and you realize very quickly, "Is this a joke?" that God puts us under the same roof and says, "Make it work. Glorify me in this thing."

I mean, there are times I just have to chuckle at that and laugh at that out loud, even. Lord, this is crazy. We have difficulties sometimes, and marriages have ups and downs. I've been married 42 years. There are times I wonder if I'll make 43. I'm sure she's surprised she made 20. But the reality is we can go through these kinds of difficulties. But what a question: "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." That is the case with a man and his wife. It's going to be hard sometimes.

I know you sit down—you that have ever done counseling, premarital counseling, you sit down with a guy and a gal; usually they're younger and they've got stars in their eyes and they're all twitterpated and they're looking at each other. And you try to tell them, "Listen, guys, you need to talk now about how you want to resolve conflict because you're going to have conflict." And they chuckle and they smile and they look at each other and go, "Yeah, okay, he does." "But we love each other. We're never going to fight. We're never going to have conflict. We're never going to be angry with each other. We're never going to look at each other with the attitude, 'I love you but I can't stand you right now.'" See, those that are laughing have been married a long time.

That's just the reality. It's why Benjamin Franklin said, "Enter into marriage with eyes wide open, and then proceed with eyes half shut." Because it can be difficult. So what's the point? Really think about it and pray about it when you're considering getting married, singles. Really think and pray through the process. It's not to be taken lightly.

I will also say this to the single folks among us: the reason why you need to be prayerful and thoughtful when you're considering getting married—it is a whole lot easier to be single and desperately wanting to be married than to be married and desperately wanting to be single. So think about it, pray about it going in.

Most marriage problems, however, are secondary issues. You know what the primary issue is? It's a Lordship issue. It's a Lordship issue. Do I want to honor and obey Christ? Do I want to do things God's way? And you know how I try to be transparent with you; there are times I have to honestly answer, when I'm in the midst of a conflict with my wife and I just can't get her to understand the complete objectivity of my position, that quite frankly, in some of those moments, the first thing on my mind is not honoring Christ. The first thing on my mind is a submission to my flesh.

That's where the struggle comes in. Because we could all say right now, "Yes, I want to honor Christ. I want to obey Christ. I want to bring him glory." But then we get out in the parking lot and she starts telling you how you parked wrong, and how much space you left on one side but not her side, and how you need to stop, let that person go first—or don't let them go, get out there! Compounded by the fact that it changes every week.

"And where are we going to go for lunch?" "I don't know, honey, you decide." "No, you decide." "No, you decide." "Dear, it's Mother's Day, you decide." "Okay, well why don't we go to Bonefish Grill?" "Okay." And as you're driving to Bonefish Grill, she's pointing out every other restaurant on the way to Bonefish Grill. And you're going, "What do you want me to do? Do you want to go there instead?" "No, I'm just saying there it is." "Lived here all these years, never saw it." No, it's a struggle for us, isn't it?

We're so different in how we approach just about everything. But do we want to obey Christ or live in accordance with our flesh? Jesus said to them, verse 11: "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb"—born either without the desire or without the equipment. "And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men"—men who were castrated by other men, a specific scenario the way that a king would castrate any of his servants that were watching over and caring for his harem. Because obviously if you castrate them, they don't have the equipment anymore, they're not going to mess around with your harem.

"And there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake." Please don't any men leave until I explain this. I do not want a group of men coming back in here next week having castrated themselves. What Jesus is just saying here is there are those who choose to be single in order to glorify God in their singleness.

You think that was kind of funny, half funny, because men are like, "Yes, kind of half funny," but all of you are shifting uncomfortably in your seats right now. Is he really going to talk about this? Jesus did, so yes. Origen, one of the early church fathers, physically castrated himself thinking he was obeying this verse. That's not what Jesus is saying. He's saying that there are those who set aside the sexual desire in order to give themselves completely to the service of God.

Paul talks about this in his writing to his first letter to the Corinthian church, and he talks about this issue of singleness and how much easier it is to be immediate in your service to the Lord when you're single than when you're married. If I felt God leading me to pack up and go somewhere to minister there, it would be a whole lot easier if I didn't have to convince a wife. And the Lord has moved me to different places at different times in my ministry. It was one of those things where my wife would have submitted to my leadership, even if it was grudgingly; she's that kind of woman, and she would have done that out of obedience to the Lord.

I had to pray and say, "Lord, if this is what you want me to do, please convince my wife because you can do it better than I can." When my children got older, "Lord, please have them come on board as well so that this is an easier transition." You don't have to do that if you're single. You're just like, "Okay, Lord, I'll be there tomorrow." And you pack up two things that you own and you go, right? So much easier.

There is a benefit to singleness. And when we talk about this issue of marriage and divorce, I want to make sure that I acknowledge that. There is a gift of celibacy. I don't have it; I'm married. You may be sitting there praying, "I hope I don't have it." But singles, I encourage you today when you go home, check out 1 Corinthians Chapter 7. Singleness can be a gift from God.

I believe the norm will be marriage. The norm will be marriage. God created it that way. And you look at percentages; marriage is the norm. But marriage being the norm does not mean marriage is a more spiritual state. God's saying there's a gift in singleness does not mean singleness is a more spiritual state. It's just the state God has us in. And singles, you don't know that that might change. You also don't know that maybe God's going to give you an opportunity to talk to some of your married friends that are struggling, and you can now take them back to this passage and say, "This was God's heart. This was God's intent."

It's not an issue that one is more or less spiritual than the other; it's where are we now and how are we going to glorify God with who we are. But those of you that are married, I highly encourage you to seek God on how your marriage can be used to glorify him. And if necessary, how it can be redeemed to do so. Because if you're right now sitting here saying, "Man, my marriage has not been that," then, "Lord, how can we redeem this?"

Father, thank you for this instruction. Thank you for your heart for us. Thank you for your desire to minister to us in these areas where we can so struggle. Lord, thank you for the marriages around us that seem to be doing really, really well. Lord, may we learn from their successes. But Father, may we all seek to glorify you whatever our marital status is—married, single, divorced, remarried, widowed. Father, may all of our lives simply be given over to bring glory and honor to you. And Lord, thank you for passages like this that teach us these very things.

Lord, I pray that if there is anyone in this room that has never taken that first step of yielding their life to you—Lord, the ability to submit to your spirit certainly is necessary when we deal with our marriages. And in order to submit ourselves to your spirit, we need to have a relationship with you. So Father, I pray if there's anyone here who needs to for the first time submit their life to you and by faith trust in what Jesus did for them at the cross—I pray right now they would pray that prayer and just say, "Lord, have mercy on me, I'm a sinner. I turn from my sin, I turn to you. I believe that Jesus died to forgive all of my sin. And I trust him for that cleansing right now. Lord, I want to walk with you."

For those who prayed that prayer at this moment, Lord, just minister your grace, your forgiveness, your love to them. Seal them by your spirit, set your Holy Spirit within them as a sign that they are yours and to enable them to walk with you. And Father, for all of us as we take communion this morning, may we remember the amazing gift that you gave us in your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. And all God's people said, right on. All right, would you stand with me, please?