How to Have a “House Beautiful”
It’s possible to have a magnificent house but an ugly home. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can have a truly beautiful home. And moms—as we honor mothers this month—you are the major player in setting the temperature in your home.
Chapter 2 of Paul’s letter to Titus says, “But speak thou the things that become [are befitting to] sound doctrine….” He addresses both men and women, then younger men and women as well. The Phillips version, a favorite of mine, gives Paul’s advice this way:
Now you [Titus] must tell them the sort of character which should spring from sound teaching. The old men should be temperate, serious, wise—spiritually healthy through their faith and love and patience. Similarly the old women should be reverent in their behaviour, should not make unfounded complaints and should not be over-fond of wine. They should be examples of the good life, so that the younger women may learn to love their husbands and their children, to be sensible and chaste, home-lovers, kind-hearted and willing to adapt themselves to their husbands—a good advertisement for the Christian faith. The young men, too, you should urge to take life seriously, letting your own life stand as a pattern of good living. In all your teaching show the strictest regard for truth, and show that you appreciate the seriousness of the matters you are dealing with. Your speech should be unaffected and logical, so that your opponent may feel ashamed at finding nothing in which to pick holes.
We must live our lives “…10 so that in every respect they will adorn and do credit to the teaching of God our Savior.” Mom, your responsibility is to be an example, making beautiful (adorning) the doctrine and Gospel of God.
Today’s generation is like a ship that’s lost its moorings. No rudder, no compass. We’re drowning in a sea of information, seminars and conferences, “ever learning, never coming to the knowledge of the truth,” I’m amazed at what some denominations are debating today. because we’re not founded on the Word of God. Without it, we’ll be watching the death of marriage as we know it and the homicide of the home.
We have very real enemies out there: Immorality, adultery, homosexuality, abortion, radicalism, and crime. All these are strands in a cord strangling the family. God wants to make our homes beautiful, and the key to a beautiful home is the wife and mother.
Paul helps Titus by mentioning three areas for godly women:
THE LEGACY SHE LEAVES
Holy in Her Lifestyle
She sets an example for younger people (“ 3 in behaviour as becometh holiness”).
The word holiness is related to the priest who’s coming out of the temple. You can smell the incense in his garments. There are some people, when you get around them, you can sense the presence and fragrance of God.
Godly in Her Speech
Not a scandal monger. “False accuser” is the same word (diabolos) we get our word “devil” from. It means “slanderer.” A home is ugly when it’s filled with slander and gossip.
Free from Addictions
“…not given to much wine….” Not just wine but anything else that’s addictive.
Teacher of Good Things
We need godly mothers and grandmothers teaching younger women “that which is good.” Who else can show younger women how to establish a godly home? They spend large sums of money on a wedding but very little on getting ready for marriage. Mothers and grandmothers, we need to get you with these younger women.
THE LOVE SHE LEARNS
“4 …teach the young women…to love their husbands, to love their children…”
Loving Her Husband:
We’re talking about real love, not soap opera love. Mrs. Billy Graham said, “It’s your job to love your husband; it’s God’s job to make him good.”
Loving Her Child:
You best love a child with the 3 “Ts”:
Tell them over and over that you love them. You cannot tell them too often.
Touch them. Hug and kiss them whether they say they want you to or not.
Teach them day-by-day, “line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.”
THE LIFESTYLE SHE LIVES (v. 3-5)
Discreet: Sober-minded, sensible, using good judgment in all aspects—shopping, nutrition, bookkeeping, decorating, physical well-being. The Bible says when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing; thus she’s to “do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12).
Chaste: Pure. Keep yourself pure for the one you’re going to marry. Some mothers today are giving their daughters birth control. You’re to teach them just the opposite: be pure and chaste. Don’t think the school is going to do it. The last place on earth kids need to learn about sexual morality is in the secular schools. Sex education will never work for good, only for harm, if it’s not based on biblical truth. See to it that your kids understand what the Bible teaches.
Good. Not just morally straight but kind-hearted. “The law of kindness” is in her mouth, as opposed to someone hateful and sharp.
“Keepers” at home: This doesn’t limit a woman! Read Proverbs chapter 31 and find out that a godly woman’s activities include travel, commerce, agriculture, investment in property and charity—without neglecting her household. This Greek term “keeper” comes from two words that together mean her major responsibility is to keep her family’s home running smoothly.
The mother is to be the queen of the home. Fathers have influence on their children, but mothers make the greatest impression. The home is the basic unit of everything; therefore, all the artillery of hell is leveled against it. The highest, deepest, sweetest, fullest, most meaningful thing you can do is have a godly Christian home.
Obedient to her husband: The husband is not superior to the wife. I’m not superior to Joyce; in many ways she is superior to me. She made better grades in school. She beat me in the speaker’s tournament. Submission is not subjugation. A husband is not a dictator, drill sergeant in the home, using the Bible as a club to beat his wife. She is in submission to her husband as he gives loving leadership to the home. It’s not so much a “chain of command” as it is acceptance of responsibility. Paul explains this in another place:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord; for the husband is the head of the wife [now here’s the parallel. Don’t miss it], even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the Savior of the body.” Ephesians 5:22:
A husband is to be to his wife what Jesus is to the Church. This is not for her punishment but for her protection.
“The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
Just as God the Son is under God the Father in the Holy Trinity, the wife is under the husband in God’s scheme of things. But because God the Father is the head of Christ the Son doesn’t mean Christ the Son is inferior to God the Father. Jesus Christ is co-equal, co-eternal with God the Father.
No woman is inferior to a man. We’re all one in Christ.
“For there is neither Jew nor Greek, there’s neither bond or free, there’s neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28
God has given this line of responsibility in the home, and it needs to be taught.
A woman who rebels against this will find trouble dogging her.
- Trouble with God. If you have a rebellious spirit towards your husband, your problem is not primarily toward your husband; it’s toward God.
- Trouble in your relationship with your husband. Rather than being his completer, you’re going to become his crippler.
- Trouble with your children. If you’re not under the headship of your husband, you’re not going to have spiritual authority with your children. A woman who cannot learn to be under authority can never be trusted with authority.
- Trouble with herself. She’s not going to have her deepest needs met.
Submission does not remove freedom. When is a train more free, when it’s on the tracks or running through the meadow? When you get on God’s plan, you find God will give you incredible liberty.
The Word of God shows us how to make a home beautiful, adorning sound doctrine by the way we live “….that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Somehow our generation thinks it is smarter than God. But even a casual look around will tell you something’s very wrong in today’s world. I submit to you, when all else fails, read the directions—the Word of God.
Being a homemaker is not easy or glamorous, but there is no higher calling and no greater career.
Pray that your home will not be just a place where you come and go, but a beautiful, Christ-centered home. If there’s anything God has spoken to you about in this message, whether you’re a husband or wife, pray about that and ask God to make your home what it ought to be.
Father, I thank You for Your grace that enables us to have godly homes. Lord, we pray now that You’ll take this word and mold our hearts with it. We pray especially for a young generation that has gotten so far away from the basic and beautiful truth You’ve given here in the Word of God. Work, dear Lord, in our hearts. Help us raise up a generation of young people who will learn and love and live in a godly way. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.