Marriage is not a contract with a 90-day option. It is for keeps. Hollywood has glamorized the idea of love at first sight. But real love, the Bible teaches, is the kind that can keep on loving and lasting as the home fires are kept burning. 

The Apostle Peter in 1 Peter chapter 3 has a word for wives and help for husbands. 

Every Woman’s Struggle 

First, a word for wives.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but….even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:4b

Are you a woman struggling with the way you look? Women want to be beautiful, but it’s tempting to think beauty is found at a cosmetics counter, on a dress rack, or in a jewelry box. Those things are corruptible, and what’s in vogue today is out of fashion when next year’s supermodels hit the runway. 

If you depend on outward beauty, you’re fighting a losing battle. In spite of all you can do, you have two parents—Mother Nature and Father Time—seeing to it you don’t remain outwardly beautiful. No matter how beautiful you are, every year beauty is fading. 

Peter tells you how to be perpetually beautiful—in fact, increasingly beautiful: it’s the adornment of a “meek and quiet spirit.” That doesn’t mean you’re a mousy Wanda Wallflower. The word “quiet” here doesn’t mean silent. It means serene. Inward serenity. When a person is beautiful on the inside, they tend to even be more beautiful on the outside.

Maybe God gave you a naturally vivacious, bubbly, or even fiery temperament. Fine. Don’t try to make yourself something you’re not. A “quiet spirit” means you have a teachable spirit; you’ve got peace on the inside. You’re serene.
The ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit is worth far more than the most expensive jewel you can wear.
Stand in front of the mirror today. Imagine Jesus by your side, and ask Him to create in you a gentle and quiet spirit of love. The only thing that will make you more beautiful, day after day, is what you nurture within yourself—serenity. 

God’s Plan for Men — Help for Husbands

And the Lord God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15

God gave women an instinctive desire to nurture and men the task of dressing and maintaining the garden. He gave men a hard exterior to be providers and protectors. With that natural gift, it follows that men want to be admired by women. I want to be admired by my wife. I’m blessed when she admires me and says, “You are wonderful,” and she’s blessed when I’m romantic, loving, and tender toward her. 

1 Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

  • “Dwell” in the first part of verse 7 is found only one time in the New Testament. It doesn’t mean to just live under the same roof, but living together as one in union and communion, praying together, serving the Lord together. Marriage is not primarily a duet but a holy trio – a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “Where two or more are together, there am I in the midst of them.” And “If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything they shall ask, it shall be done for them of My Father which is in heaven.” The reason husbands and wives are not having their prayers heard is because they’re not dwelling together in communion. It is the husband’s chief responsibility to see to it that there is that spiritual communion.
  • “Honor” here is the same word used in 1 Peter 1:19 for “precious”—referring to the “precious blood of Christ.” Your wife is to be precious to you, given honor akin to your respect for the blood of Christ.  
  • “Weaker vessel” indicates she is weaker than you, which means you’re also weak, right? That’s part of the problem in marriage. Two weak people get married. Elton Trueblood said, “A successful marriage is not one where two beautifully matched people find each other and get along happily ever after. Instead, it’s a system where two persons, sinful and contentious, are so caught up in a dream bigger than themselves that they work throughout the years, in spite of repeated disappointments, to make the dream come true.” That’s well said. Two weak persons, together giving their weakness to Jesus Christ. 
Men, if you are a husband, you are part of something bigger than yourself. The infallible Word of God tells us how to build a Christian home. And a large part of that is for you to love your wife as Christ loved the church. How did He love the church? Sacrificially, savingly, sanctifyingly, steadfastly. 

My assignment and yours from God is to make our wives radiantly beautiful Christians. We owe them courtesy, honor, appreciation, showing them love in little things. We are “…heirs together of the grace of life.” 

Your home should be the happiest place on earth, the nearest place to heaven. And even in these tough times, you can be enjoying the grace of life. You say, “Well, our home is just not that way.” Friend, if the bottom’s falling out, you better examine the foundation. Thank God for His Word. There is an infallible Word that tells us how to build a Christian home.