Love Worth Finding

Guest (Male): Listen closely as Pastor Adrian Rogers explains how crucial a wife is to any man.

Adrian Rogers: I know I am what I am today, not only because of God, but because of my precious wife. I know that beyond any shadow of doubt or peradventure. Somebody has well said, behind every good man, there is a good woman and a surprised mother-in-law. And I believe that is definitely true. A woman is to a man what a wind is to a fire. She can fan it up or blow it out.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring profound truth simply stated in the messages of Adrian Rogers. The Book of Proverbs concludes with a tribute to the ideal wife and maximum mom. These virtues are not a standard to meet but an ideal to aim for.

In part one of today's message, we learned that a virtuous wife's worth shines through her honesty, wisdom, loyalty, and prudency. She serves joyfully and prioritizes her quiet time with God. She invests her money and in her health. She's generous and knows how to minister to people who are hurting. If you have your Bible, turn to Proverbs chapter 31 as Adrian Rogers continues with part two of Maximum Mom.

Adrian Rogers: As we talk about the maximum mom, the first thing I want you to see is what I'm going to call her great worth. Look, if you will, in verses 10 through 12. "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price, her worth, her value is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

The real worth of a wife is not in her outward charm, though I thank God for outward charm. Not in the beauty of her face, though I thank God for that. But the real value of a wife is her virtue. "Who can find a virtuous wife? Her price is far above rubies." Now God doesn't compare her with a diamond, but a ruby.

A diamond catches and reflects light, but a ruby has that inner glow. It is the beauty of a ruby that's on the inside, and that's what God is talking about when He speaks of the value of a wife. And then you think of her good works. Begin to read now in verse 13. "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar."

As Ann Landers has told us, her work is not all glamour: chauffeur, maid, cook, referee, philosopher, rescue squad, hostess, tutor, psychiatrist. Put them all together, she said, and they spell mother. It's work, a lot of work, but it is worth it if the Lord Jesus Christ is in it.

Now the New American Standard translates it this way. Not only does she do it willingly, but the New American Standard says she does it in delight. It is her delight to do it because she's doing it as unto the Lord. I think that I read somewhere that Mrs. Billy Graham has above her kitchen sink these words written: divine services held here three times a day. She's talking about when she's washing dishes to her.

And look, if you will, in verse 14. Convenience is not her most important factor. The Bible says she's like the merchant ships; she bringeth her food from afar. That is, she is a wise shopper. She is a nutritionist. She goes extra miles to get the best and to get a bargain. She's not sold over to junk foods and fast foods.

And then God speaks of her godly worship. Look, if you will, in verse 15. "She riseth also while it is yet night and giveth food to her household and a portion to her maidens." Now I used to wonder about this verse because she has some maids who help her in this house. And this verse says she gets up early to prepare them food. I always thought that the maids were the ones who helped prepare.

And yet she is waiting on the maidens. And I read this in the Amplified Bible and it's very interesting. This is what the Amplified Bible says: she rises while it is yet night and gets through communion with her God spiritual food for her household. The idea is, and I really believe it is true, she's getting up to have a quiet time with the Lord.

And the Bible goes on to say in verse 30 that she is one who fears the Lord. I cannot tell you the times that I have awakened to find my wife already awake, singing hymns to our Lord, or to walk in and find her on her knees or with her Bible open, studying and preparing her heart for the day. And I think that's the exact picture that our Lord has here.

Well, you say, if I had all these maids that this gal must have had, I could do the same thing, preacher. Well, let me tell you something, friend. In this day when this was written, servants were not a luxury. Not a luxury at all. The modern woman who has no maid at all has more luxuries than the woman of this day.

I mean, we're talking about washers and dryers and stoves and refrigerators, and you wouldn't want to trade places for anything. But here is a woman of godly worship who's getting up early to have her quiet time with the Lord. Now I want you to notice the next thing. Fourthly, I want you to notice her genuine wisdom.

Notice in verse 16. "She considereth a field and buyeth it; with the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good; her lamp goeth not out by night." This speaks of her wisdom. This was indeed a wise woman.

Did you notice she knew how to make investments? Look, if you will, in verse 16. She considers a field and buys it. She dabbled in real estate. Can a woman do that and be a good mother? Of course. But her business investments were not at the expense of her homemaking duties. As you read this, they were not at the expense of the home; they were an extension of the home.

If you are a lady and have outside income, I salute you and congratulate you. And if you have to work to put food on the table, I take off my hat to you and I admire you. That's all fine and good and that is well. But you need to ask yourself this question: Does what you do enhance your home, or does it take away from it?

Does it give you an independent spirit from your husband, or does it put you in competition with your husband? If it does, then it is contrary to the spirit of the Word of God. Now look in verse 17 and you're going to see in her genuine wisdom that not only does she have financial wisdom, she has physical wisdom.

She knows how to take care of her body. The Bible says she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She's into aerobics. She knows how to eat right. She knows how to exercise. She knows how to take care of herself. She doesn't let herself go. You know, some women say, well, I'm already married, so why chase a streetcar after you've caught it?

Well, I want to tell you, lady, you'd be very wise if you keep yourself physically right. Notice verse 18. She knows economics. She studies. She's able to stretch a dollar. The Bible says she perceiveth that her merchandise is good; her lamp goeth not out by night. This woman is a scholar. What He's talking about here is her genuine wisdom.

Then I want you to see something else. I want you to see what I'm going to call her generous welfare. Look in verses 19 and 20. "She layeth her hands to the spindle." Now, boys and girls, the spindle is what they made thread with in that day because they couldn't go down and buy thread in the store and cloth in the store. "And her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy."

It's obvious as you read this that this woman, this wise woman, this maximum mom, has learned some real skills. We've already seen she's a nutritionist. She's a shopper. She knows economics. She knows investments. And now she can work with her hands. She knows how to make things with her hands.

We're going to see later on they're so great that she could sell them and make money. And when she makes money with these things, then she knows how to go next door to a poor neighbor and take care of that neighbor. She is a philanthropist. She is reaching out to people in need. She's not just selfishly taking care of her own.

Here's a woman who knows how to minister to other people who are hurting. And what an impact that must have made on her children. Her generous welfare; she stretcheth out her hand to the poor. And then I want you to notice something else, ladies: her grand wardrobe. Look, if you will, in verses 21 and 22.

The Bible says she's not afraid of the snow for all her household are clothed with scarlet. "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." Now don't get the idea that this is just a washerwoman. Friend, this is an elegant lady. Now, why does the Bible say in verse 21 that it speaks there of scarlet?

You see that? And then it speaks of the snow. She's not afraid of the snow for her household are all clothed with scarlet. Wool was about the only thing that could be dyed with scarlet. What He's saying is that here's a woman who has dressed her children warmly. She's not sending them out half-dressed. They are well taken care of.

But not only has she taken care of her children, she's taken care of herself. She is fashion conscious. I mean, she looks good when she steps out of the house. Tapestry and silk are on her. She knows what she's doing. Again, ladies, the Bible never ever says that because you're saved that you ought to be plain or dowdy. Not at all.

As a matter of fact, the Bible puts a premium on looking good. You know, sometimes a woman will come to me and say, you know, Pastor, I'm afraid my husband's running around on me. Well, if he is, God will judge him. But you know sometimes you look and you don't have the courage to say what you want to say.

You know, he's been out there in the working world all day long and these women are all dressed up and you know how they do, their hair all piled up on their head clicking around on high heels. And he comes home and she meets him in a faded housecoat and a different colored slipper on each foot. Hair done up in coat hangers.

And she says, well, I'm just afraid he's running around. This lady, listen, I'm going to tell you something, that's no excuse for any man. But oh, this woman was so wise. So wise. She seemed to find time for all of these things. Her children are well-dressed; she's well-dressed. But not only notice her grand wardrobe, notice her gifted wifehood.

Notice her relationship to her husband. Verses 23 through 25. "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."

She is to her husband a help meet. She is a completer and enhancer to her husband. The Bible says that her husband is known in the gates. Now the gates were the place of commerce in this day. It's like her husband being known in City Hall or in the courthouse square. That's what He's talking about. Her husband is a well-known citizen.

But because God here is extolling the wife and not the husband, the implication is very clear: that he is what he is because she is what she is. And I can say that without equivocation, stutter, or stammer. No, I'm standing in the pulpit and know that thousands of ears are listening and know that God above is listening.

I know I am what I am today, not only because of God, but because of my precious wife. I know that beyond any shadow of doubt or peradventure. And that's what He's saying here. Her husband is known in the gates. She is a woman who is behind her husband, encouraging her husband.

Somebody has well said, behind every good man, there is a good woman and a surprised mother-in-law. And I believe that is definitely true. A woman is to a man what a wind is to a fire. She can fan it up or blow it out. Look again, if you will, in verse 24. She's a businesswoman. She makes fine linen. She sells it. She delivers girdles unto the merchant.

This seamstress woman, she knows how to make money. You know, earlier it said that she bought a field and then she planted a vineyard. Where'd she get the money to buy that field? Well, evidently she knows how to make things work. She is a very wise, a very astute woman. But again I want you to notice, all that she does is not in competition with her husband but to enhance what they do.

It does not take away from the home; it lends to the home. And I like especially verse 25: "Strength and honour are her clothing." Now she's not just clothed with silk and tapestry but with strength and honor. And the Bible says she shall rejoice in time to come. Now what does that mean? It means that her clothing is dignity.

I mean, when this woman walks into the room, you're aware of her presence. She has a calm and a gentle spirit. And bad news does not cause her to stampede. Under stress, she can smile at the future. She shall rejoice in time to come. I was reading about a businessman whose business just caved in. I mean, he just lost it all.

And he came home to his wife and told her, honey, we're having to move out of our beautiful home. They went into bankruptcy. Everything was gone. They came to a little apartment and they sat down. These people who had had so much. And he looked at her and his shoulders just went over. He looked around at that little apartment and he said, well, here we are.

And she looked at him and smiled and she said, no, here we are. I like that. Here we are! A husband and a wife together. That's what this verse is talking about. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. Yes, I thank God for her godly wifehood, but I want you to notice her gracious words.

Look, if you will, now in verse 26 and verse 27. "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her house, and eateth not the bread of idleness." Now here's a woman who has control of her tongue. Look, she opens her mouth with wisdom. In her tongue is the law of kindness.

Do you know why this is? Do you know why she's not screeching at her kids? Do you know why she's not whining at her husband? Do you know why she can talk, why she has this dignity and poise and grace? Because she's already been up early in the morning. She's had her quiet time with God. Her life is well-ordered.

And that's the reason that she has this well-ordered life. Her heart is at peace with God. When you, dear lady or sir, lash out at others, it tells more about you than almost anything else. If you're one who just simply is lashing out, lashing out, lashing out, you're a person who's not at peace with yourself.

And if you're not at peace with yourself, it's because you're not at peace with God. And if you're not at peace with God, it is because you have not had this quality time, this priority time with Almighty God. Notice her gracious words, and then last of all, notice what I want to call her glowing witness.

Look, if you will, now in verse 28. "Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Now what he's talking about here is her glowing witness. Her witness to her children. Her children rise up and call her blessed. And I don't think there could be any greater reward. The apostle John said, I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the truth. Her children rise up and call her blessed.

Kate Wiggins said this: most of the good and beautiful things in life come by twos and by threes and by dozens and hundreds. There are plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, but there's only one mother in the whole world. Nobody can take your place. Oh, her witness to her children.

And then there's the witness to her husband. Her husband will praise her. And by the way, sir, if God has given you a good wife, her price is far above rubies. You need to give her the paycheck of praise and admiration. You need to tell her over and over and over and over again, and you can never tell her enough how much you love her, how much you praise God for her, how much you thank God for her.

And by the way, this illustration here of this virtuous wife, I think it probably says more about her husband than it says about her. Because evidently he is somebody who has loved her and prayed for her and encouraged her and freed her to be the kind of a woman that she could be. But there's not only her witness to her children.

Not only her witness to her husband, but there's her witness to her community. Look in verse 31. "Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." I'm telling you, mom, you'll do more by raising godly children as a testimony. I'm for community involvement, and I thank God for all of the different clubs.

But I heard about one woman who was a member of this thing and that thing, you know, she was the second vice president for the Society of Prevention to Cruelty for Orphan Grandmothers with Athlete's Foot. And she was this and this and this. Finally when she died, they put on her tombstone: here lies Mary Smith, she was clubbed to death.

Now she was a member of this and this and this. But now listen. Listen, I mean really, listen to me. When you get to the bottom line, I mean the bottom, bottom line, what could be better than to have children to say, I love you, mama? Thank you for being that kind of a mama. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband to praise her.

And the community to say she was a godly and a good woman. My dear friend, we have been sold a bill of goods in this day and age in which we live. All of this that this dear woman did, she did because Jesus enabled her. And she was beautiful. She may have been outwardly, the Bible doesn't say. But I know she was inwardly because she was a woman of virtue.

Now if that's made you feel inadequate, lady, I'm going to tell you again. That's a guide, that's a goal, that's an ideal. But it's one we can aim for. Amen? Do you know Jesus? You know, dear friend, you can't be a good son, you can't be a good daughter, you can't be a good father, you can't be a good mother, you can't be a good brother, you can't be a good sister without Jesus.

Father, I pray today that if there are any in this congregation who are not truly saved, that today they will say an everlasting yes to Jesus. Receive Him into their heart as Lord and Savior. In His dear name I pray, Amen.

Guest (Male): Well, as you've listened today, maybe you come away from this message with questions about placing your faith fully in Jesus Christ. We'd love to offer an insightful resource on our website. It's our Find Answers page. There you'll find resources and materials that will answer questions you may have about your relationship with God.

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Guest (Male): Hi, this is Cary Vaughn, and this program has been brought to you by Love Worth Finding, a nonprofit ministry showcasing the powerful preaching and teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. We operate solely through the generous gifts of individual supporters just like you. To give a gift today, call 1-877-LOVEGOD. That's 1-877-LOVEGOD, or write to us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38-600, Memphis, Tennessee, 38183.

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