Love Worth Finding

Adrian Rogers: What are the virtues of a good and godly woman? Listen to Adrian Rogers.

Who can find a virtuous wife? Her price is far above rubies. Now, God doesn't compare her with a diamond, but a ruby. A diamond catches and reflects light, but a ruby has that inner glow. It is the beauty of a ruby that's on the inside. And that's what God is talking about when He speaks of the value of a wife.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring the insightful lessons and teachings of Pastor Adrian Rogers. The Book of Proverbs concludes with a tribute to a godly wife and Maximum Mom. Proverbs 31 identifies several virtues and ideas to aim for. But women can oftentimes feel discouraged by these verses, afraid they don't measure up.

Once we read this passage as one of encouragement rather than a standard to meet, we can see it as the blessing it was meant to be. If you have your Bible, turn to Proverbs 31 now as Adrian Rogers shares more about the Maximum Mom.

Adrian Rogers: Proverbs chapter 31. In just a moment, we will begin our Bible study in verse 10, right on through the end of the chapter. What you have here in Proverbs chapter 31 is God's picture of an ideal wife and mother. What I want to call the Maximum Mom.

Now, listen, ladies, if you don't understand that this is an ideal, you're going to get very discouraged. A lot of ladies like to stop reading Proverbs at chapter 30. They don't want to go right on into chapter 31 because this is an ideal.

I don't think there's a one of us who can reach the ideal, whether we be male or female. But thank God, God has given us a standard. I heard about some cows who were out grazing in a field, and they saw a milk truck go by. And on the side of that milk truck, it said something about the name of the dairy. And then it began to advertise the milk.

It said that the milk was pasteurized, homogenized, sanitized, vitamin enriched. One of the cows said to the other one, “It makes you feel inadequate, doesn't it?” Now, I think that as you were to read this, you would say, “I feel so inadequate.” But what a wonderful, wonderful picture it is.

Listen, folks, it is better to reach for an ideal and miss it than to aim for mediocrity and to hit it squarely. So here's what God says now in Proverbs chapter 31, verse 10. “Who can find a virtuous woman?”

For her price is far above rubies. And then from there on, the writer of Proverbs gives us what we would call today an acrostic. These 22 verses that follow, each one of them begins in order with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet. And what he is doing, he has arranged a poem which is a tribute to a virtuous woman, and indeed a tribute, I believe, to every virtuous mother today.

I am so glad and you're going to find out that this Maximum Mom, this mom from A to Z, if we were to use English letters rather than Hebrew letters, the mom from A to Z, we would find out that she is a homemaker. I certainly don't agree with everything Ann Landers has to say, but I found something that she said that I agree with 101%. Here's what Ann Landers said.

She said, “It's high time someone took on the free-swinging feminists, who have decided for everyone that the married woman who stays home is a brass plate dummy, a lazy three-toed sloth, or a traitor to her Radcliffe graduating class.” And then she goes on to say, “Why has the American woman been made to feel ashamed because she is at home, cleaning, washing, and ironing, and taking care of her own children?”

This was once considered noble and gratifying work. We're told that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. And I'm going to skip some of her material, but she says, “The nesting instinct is a normal and lovely thing. And most women marry because they want more than anything in the world to be wives, homemakers, and mothers.” This is not adolescent hogwash or sloppy sentimentalism.

It is real, it is what woman is all about. And she says, “There's no special magic about a paid job. A great many women who have left jobs, good jobs, insist that the business world is dull and confining compared with running a home and raising a family.”

Then skipping again, she says, “So much has been written about the educated woman's obligation to society to do something with her education that one gets the impression that the college graduate who stays home is copping out. I believe the reverse is closer to the truth. In my opinion, life's classic cop-outs are the women who have abdicated their responsibilities to their husbands and children and to society because they lack the maturity to stay home and do the job they bargained for.”

“To be a successful housewife and mother demands infinitely more emotional balance and moral fiber than is required to hold down a job. Chauffeur, maid, cook, referee, philosopher, rescue squad, hostess, tutor, and psychiatrist, put them all together and they spell mother. She must be equal to every crisis imaginable. She must expect the unexpected, the child who falls downstairs and cracks his head open, the flooded basement, the busted oil heater, the minor and major battles among her children.”

Coping with these emergencies is the real challenge. How much easier to wiggle into a girdle and beat it out the house in the morning. That's what millions of American mothers are doing, and the kids show it. There's so much more in that article, but I think that's a good article. And I want you to see that when God just takes a woman that surpasses them all, He idealizes that woman as a mother and a homemaker.

Now, with that in mind, get out your Bible, open it in your lap, and let's just take this passage apart, verse by verse. As we talk about the Maximum Mom, the first thing I want you to see is what I'm going to call her great worth. Look if you will in verses 10 through 12. “Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price, her worth, her value is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

My dear sir, if you are married to a good and godly woman as I am, happily so, and for many years so, and as I have been reflecting upon this passage, I can tell you that I do not have words in my vocabulary to express to you how much I value my precious wife. And may I tell you also, sir, that the real value, the real worth of a wife is not in her outward charm, though I thank God for outward charm. Not in the beauty of her face, though I thank God for that. But the real value of a wife is her virtue.

“Who can find a virtuous wife? Her price is far above rubies.” Now, God doesn't compare her with a diamond, but a ruby. A diamond catches and reflects light, but a ruby has that inner glow. It is the beauty of a ruby that's on the inside. And that's what God is talking about when He speaks of the value of a wife. Go on down to verse 30 and you'll see what he's talking about. “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Now, there's nothing wrong with beauty, my dear friend, but let me tell you, virtue far exceeds beauty. Many a man has made the mistake of falling in love with a dimple and then marrying the whole woman. He's found out later that he married someone who did not have that inner beauty. And the word virtue here really means moral strength. And then the Bible says that because of this, her husband can trust her.

Look in verse 11 of this chapter. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” What does that mean? Well, it means, my dear friend, that she's going to be honest, she's going to be wise, she's going to be loyal, she's going to be prudent. You can trust her with the bank account. You don't have to worry about foolish expenditures and selfish demands.

Someone wrote these words, “There's was a perfect marriage, but for one feminine flaw. He was fast on the deposit, but she was quicker on the draw.” Now, the Bible says here that “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, and she will do him good and not evil all of the days of her life.” That is, she will do him good in all ways and she will do him good always.

And so you think here of her great worth. And then you think of her good works. Begin to read now in verse 13. “She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant ships. She bringeth her food from afar.”

As Ann Landers has told us, her work is not all glamour. Chauffeur, maid, cook, referee, philosopher, rescue squad, hostess, tutor, psychiatrist, put them all together, she said, and they spell mother. It's work, a lot of work, but it is worth it if the Lord Jesus Christ is in it.

Now, the New American Standard translates it this way. Not only does she do it willingly, but the New American Standard says she does it in delight. It is her delight to do it because she's doing it as unto the Lord. I think that I read somewhere that Mrs. Billy Graham has above her kitchen sink these words written, “Divine services held here three times a day.” She's talking about when she's washing dishes.

And look, if you will, in verse 14. Convenience is not her most important factor. The Bible says she's like the merchant ships. She bringeth her food from afar. That is, she is a wise shopper. She is a nutritionist. She goes extra miles to get the best and to get a bargain. She's not, she's not sold over to junk foods and fast foods. I heard about one of these working women whose husband complained he wanted a hot breakfast. She gave him a match and said, “Set your cornflakes on fire.”

Now, this is not the kind of mama that we're talking about here. She's one who knows how to make everything work. You know, really, sincerely, a lot of women who think that they're adding to the family finances by working, if you were to add up everything that you spend on cloaks and gasoline, the extra insurance, the babysitting, fast foods, the eating out, all of these things, you may not be putting as much in the bank as you really think you are.

But here God speaks first of all of her great worth. And then God speaks of her good works. And then God speaks of her godly worship. Look if you will in verse 15. “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth food to her household and a portion to her maidens.” I used to wonder about this verse because she has some maids who help her in this house. And this verse says she gets up early to prepare them food. I always thought that the maids were the ones who helped prepare.

And yet she's waiting on the maidens. And I read this in the Amplified Bible and it's very interesting. This is what the Amplified Bible says. “She rises while it is yet night and gets through communion with her God, spiritual food for her household.” The idea is, and I really believe it is true, she's getting up to have a quiet time with the Lord. And the Bible goes on to say in verse 30 that she is one who fears the Lord.

I cannot tell you the times that I have awakened to find my wife already awake, singing hymns to our Lord, or to walk in and find her on her knees, or with her Bible open, studying and preparing her heart for the day. And I think that's the exact picture that our Lord has here. Well, you say, “If I had all these maids that this gal must have had, I could do the same thing, preacher.”

Well, let me tell you something, friend, in this day when this was written, servants were not a luxury. Not a luxury at all. The modern woman who has no maid at all has more luxuries than the woman of this day. I mean, we're talking about washers and dryers and stoves and refrigerators, and you wouldn't want to trade places for anything. But here is a woman of godly worship who's getting up early to have her quiet time with the Lord.

Now, I want you to notice the next thing. Fourthly, I want you to notice her genuine wisdom, her genuine wisdom. Notice in verse 16. “She considereth a field and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her lamp goeth not out by night.” This speaks of her wisdom. This was indeed a wise woman.

Did you know she knew how to make investments? Look if you will in verse 16. “She considereth a field and buyeth it.” She dabbled in real estate. Can a woman do that and be a good mother? Of course. But her business investments were not at the expense of her home-making duties. As you read this, they were not at the expense of the home. They were an extension of the home.

And if you are a lady and have outside income, I salute you and congratulate you. And if you have to work to put food on the table, I take off my hat to you and I admire you. That's all fine and good and that is well. But you need to ask yourself this question, does what you do enhance your home or does it take away from it? Does it give you an independent spirit from your husband or does it put you in competition with your husband? If it does, then it is contrary to the spirit of the Word of God.

Now, look in verse 17 and you're going to see in her genuine wisdom that not only does she have financial wisdom, she has physical wisdom. She knows how to take care of her body. The Bible says, “She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms.” She's into aerobics. She's, she knows how to eat right. She knows how to exercise. She knows how to take care of herself. She doesn't let herself go.

You know, some women say, “Well, you know, I'm, I'm already married, so why chase a streetcar after you've caught it?” Well, I want to tell you, lady, you'd be very wise if you keep yourself physically right. Notice verse 18. She knows economics. She studies. She's able to stretch a dollar. The Bible says, “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her lamp goeth not out by night.” This woman is a scholar. What he's talking about here is her genuine wisdom.

Then I want you to see something else. I want you to see what I'm going to call her generous welfare. Look in verses 19 and 20. “She layeth her hands to the spindle.” Now, boys and girls, the spindle is what they made thread with and in that day because they couldn't go down and buy thread in the store and and cloth in the store. And “her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor. Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

Now, it's obvious as you read this that this woman, this wise woman, this Maximum Mom, has learned some real skills. We've already seen she's a nutritionist, she's a shopper, she knows economics, she knows investments. And now she can work with her hands. She, she knows how to make things with her hands. We're going to see later on they're so great that she could sell them and make money. And when she makes money with these things, then she knows how to go next door to a poor neighbor and take care of that neighbor.

She is a philanthropist. She is reaching out to people in need. She's not just selfishly taking care of her own. Here's a woman who knows how to minister to other people who are hurting. And what an impact that must have made on her children. Her generous welfare, she stretcheth out her hand to the poor.

And then I want you to notice something else, ladies, her grand wardrobe. Look if you will in verses 21 and 22. The Bible says, “She's not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple.” Now, don't get the idea that this is just a washerwoman. Friend, this is an elegant lady.

Now, why does the Bible say in, in verse 21 that, that it speaks there of scarlet? You see that? And then it speaks of the snow. “She's not afraid of the snow for her household or all clothed with scarlet.” Scarlet wool was about the only thing that could be dyed with scarlet. What he's saying is that here's a woman who has dressed her children warmly. She has, she, she's not sending them out half-dressed. They are well taken care of.

But not only has she taken care of her children, she's taken care of herself. She is fashion conscious. I mean, she, she looks good when she steps out of the house. Tapestry and silk are on her. She knows what she's doing. Again, ladies, the Bible never, ever says that because you're saved, that you ought to be plain or dowdy. Not at all. Not at all.

As a matter of fact, the Bible puts a premium on looking good. You know, sometimes a woman will come to me and say, “You know, Pastor, I'm afraid my husband's running around on me.” Well, if he is, God will judge him. But, you know, sometimes you look and you say, you don't have the courage to say what you want to say.

You know, he's been out there in the working world all day long. And these women are all dressed up and, you know, as they do, their hair all piled up on their head, clicking around on high heels. And he comes home and she meets him in a faded housecoat and a different colored slipper on each foot. Hair done up in coat hangers. And she says, “Well, I'm just afraid he's running around.” This lady, listen, I, I'm going to tell you something. That's no excuse for any man.

But, oh, this woman was so wise. So wise. She, she seemed to find time for all of these things. She's, her children are well-dressed, she's well-dressed. But not only notice her grand wardrobe. Notice her gifted wifehood. Notice her relationship to her husband, verses 23 through 25. “Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

“She maketh fine linen and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come.” Now, she is to her husband a help meet. She is a completer and enhancer to her husband. The Bible says that her husband is known in the gates. Now, the gates were the place of commerce in this day. It's like her husband being known in, in City Hall or in the, in the courthouse square. That's what he's talking about.

Her husband is a well-known citizen. But because God here is extolling the wife and not the husband, the implication is very clear that he is what he is because she is what she is. And I can say that without equivocation, stutter or stammer. No, I'm standing in the pulpit and know that thousands of ears are listening and know that God above is listening. I know I am what I am today. Not only because of God, but because of my precious wife. I know that beyond any shadow of doubt or peradventure.

Guest (Male): And coming up next time, you'll hear part two of this message from Adrian Rogers. You know, at Love Worth Finding, we love to hear how the ministry and the messages of Pastor Rogers have inspired you in your faith journey. If you can, go to lwff.org/mylwfstory. There you can submit your own testimony or read others who've shared their stories with us. We often select stories to be shared throughout our Love Worth Finding community and we'll always protect your privacy if that's what you desire. Let us hear from you today at lwff.org/mylwfstory.

Kerry Vaughn: Hi, this is Kerry Vaughn, and this program has been brought to you by Love Worth Finding, a nonprofit ministry showcasing the powerful preaching and teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. We operate solely through the generous gifts of individual supporters, just like you. So, to give a gift today, call 1-877-LOVEGOD. That's 1-877-LOVEGOD. You can also connect with us online by going to lwff.org/radio. There, we offer helpful resources inspired by the timeless teachings of Pastor Rogers. Or even write to us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38-600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Thank you for listening today, and be sure to join us next time for more profound truth, simply stated, right here on Love Worth Finding.

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