Love Worth Finding

Adrian Rogers: Is there a future for the family? There are certain things that we need to learn if there is going to be a future for our family. And if there is no future for our families, you can put it down big, plain, and straight: there is no future for this nation.

Now, here's what God says we're to do for the future of the family. Our children are to see our faith in God in all that we do, in all that we say, and the very atmosphere in which a child is raised is to be supercharged with godliness based on the Ten Commandments.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring the timeless teaching and profound insights of Pastor Adrian Rogers. The family was the first institution formed by God, created to meet the deepest physical, social, and spiritual needs of mankind. It is in the home that a child should learn who he is, what he can do, and what's expected of him.

In the midst of the moral freefall we're in today, it's time we ask ourselves: what is the future of the family? If you have your Bible, turn to Deuteronomy chapter 5. We'll begin in verse 29 as Adrian Rogers tells more about our family future.

Adrian Rogers: In Deuteronomy chapter 5, God gave the Ten Commandments. Actually, Deuteronomy chapter 5 is a restatement, a reinforcement of the Ten Commandments. And then after God gave these commandments, God says in chapter 5 and verse 29 concerning His people: "Oh that there were such an heart in them that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always, that it might be well with them and their children forever." God is saying if they will keep My commandments, there'll be a future for the family. That's what God is saying.

Now, He has given the commandments, and you know the commandments. They are there in Deuteronomy chapter 5 and Exodus 20. If you will go to chapter 6 and begin in verse 6, these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it, that thou mightest fear the Lord thy God and keep all His statutes and His commandments which I commanded thee, thou and thy son and thy son's son, all the days of thy life. What He's talking about here is a future for the family, and that thy days may be prolonged.

Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it, that it may be well with thee and that ye may increase mightily as the Lord God of thy fathers hath promised thee in the land that floweth with milk and honey. And then He begins in verse 4 the Great Shema. This is perhaps the most important verse to orthodox Jews, or the most important passage in all of the Bible. It begins with the word "hear." Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes, and thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house and on thy gates.

Now, here's what God says we're to do for the future of the family. I want you to think now of how therefore we're to train our children so that we as a nation can have a future, so we as a family can have a future. Number one, first thing I want you to understand is home is the university of life. God says that these commandments are to be taught in the home. God did not give the Ten Commandments to government, though government should abide by them. God did not give the Ten Commandments to industry, though industry should learn from them. God did not give the Ten Commandments to education, though education should take note of them.

God gave the Ten Commandments to the family. Read all of this context. It is the family. This is God's priority plan, that faith is to go from parent to child. Our children are to see our faith in God in all that we do, in all that we say, and the very atmosphere in which a child is raised is to be supercharged with godliness based on the Ten Commandments. Now, I want to tell you again that it is the family that is the center and the core, and therefore the all-out war is against the family.

So that's the first thing I want you to learn: home is to be the university of life. Now, here's the second thing: parents are the professors in that university. Look again, if you will, in verse 7, and He says here: "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children." Do you know what a juvenile delinquent is so many times? He's a child trying to act like his parents. And we're talking about dropout kids today. I say that the problem is not primarily dropout kids, it's dropout parents. It is shirker dads and slacker moms who have not done what they ought to do and have dropped their responsibilities.

Now, what are the qualifications if you would be a professor in this university? Well, look if you will and see in verse 5. Here are the qualifications: "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might." Now, there are certain qualifications if you are to be a professor in this university. Now let me tell you something: there's a control center in every child, and you cannot control the control center. That child controls it. God will not override it. God is not going to force you or anybody else to behave in a certain way. God will enable you to do so, God will lead you to do so, God will love you to do so, but ultimately you must decide.

Therefore, one of the wisest things that you can ever learn is that you cannot make decisions for your children. Oh, you can when they're little. You can guide them, but a child has to come to a place where he or she must make his or her own decisions. But you can make a decision for yourself. I've said this before and I want to say it again. Listen carefully: never set goals for somebody else. Never set goals for anybody else because you can't control somebody else. Don't set goals for your children. I don't set goals for my children.

I have desires for my children. You know what I desire for my children? That my children love God with all of their heart, that they live pure, clean, godly lives, that they love father and mother, they love brother and sister, that God will use them mightily. That is my desire. That is my heart's prayer and desire to God for them, and I pray every day for them, as Joyce and I have already prayed this morning for all of our children by name. Yes, that is my desire. But I don't have a goal for my children. I have desires for my children. You know who I have a goal for? Adrian.

I have desires for my children, I have a goal for me. You know what my goal for me is? My desire is I'll have godly children, and my goal is I will be a godly dad. I will be a godly dad! I made up my mind. That's what I'm going to do because, you see, I can choose for me and I choose Jesus. I choose God. I choose by the grace of God to be a godly dad and to love God with all of my heart. Here's the qualification, look at it. Look at it! Here's what you can choose to do in verse 5: "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might."

To love God with all your heart is a sincere love, not a half-hearted love. Our children need to see in us a heartfelt, burning, passionate, emotional, and sincere love for the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, I'm going to tell you something about kids: they can spot a phony a mile away. Your kids know that you're not perfect, but they want to know that you're sincere, that you love God with all of your heart. And then you're to love God not only with a sincere love but with a selfless love, with all of your soul.

The soul is the self, the whole self, 100% needs to be given over to God, not part-time. And by the way, you want to know whether you love God with all of your soul? Two books you might consult: your checkbook and your calendar, your datebook. Just look at those things. See where you're investing your time and your money. What really matters to you? Your kids need to see there's no place in your life that is marked off "private, God stay out." That includes what you watch on television, what you read, and so forth.

Number three, you're to love God not only with a sincere love and not only with a selfless love, but you're to love Him with a strong love, with all of your might. Now, what does that include? It includes everything. All of your might: your physical strength, your emotional strength, your financial strength, your intellectual strength. You're to love God with all of your might. And kids need to see if you are a professor in the university of life, they need to see a sincere, selfless, and strong love. Why? Because you cannot teach what you do not know and do not practice. Jesus, when somebody asked Him what is the first and great commandment, Jesus quoted this verse 5. That's what Jesus quoted.

Now, here's the third thing I want you to see. Number one, remember that the home is the university of life. Number two, the parents are the professors, and I gave you the qualifications. Number three, the Ten Commandments are the curriculum. The Ten Commandments are the curriculum. Now in chapter 5, God gave the Ten Commandments. And then in chapter 6, He says, "Parents, you are to teach these." I wrote a book called "Ten Secrets for Successful Families," and the ten secrets are an open secret. They are the Ten Commandments.

They're not accidental, they're not incidental, they are fundamental. And again I tell you that the Ten Commandments are given primarily to the father, and those who are to teach the Ten Commandments are parents who are to teach their children and their grandchildren. These commandments are ironclad, they're rock-ribbed, but they're not cold, rigid restriction. They are the liberating laws of life. They are the tracks upon which your family is to run.

Let me say something that's very hypocritical of many of us. I've known many evangelical Christians who are complaining and mouthing and carping that the Ten Commandments are no longer on the classroom walls of America's schools. And I think that's sad and I agree. But how many of you have the Ten Commandments on the walls of your home? How many of you have those Ten Commandments, for example, in your children's bedroom or in the foyer of your house or somewhere where we can read these things? God said to these Jews, "You post these on the doorpost of your house, the gates of your house," so people can see them as they come in and as they go out.

God has given us the Ten Commandments as the tracks to run on, and you're never going to have a successful family unless you set some boundaries for those kids. And friend, today in today's society, society is not enough for you to say "because I said so." You need to say "here's what God teaches, darling. Here's what the word of God says," and you need to set some boundaries. If your children don't have some boundaries, if they don't have some rules, if they don't have some restrictions, they're going to grow up with a sense of insecurity. You give them boundaries.

Now, they're going to push against those boundaries. That is normal, that is natural, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just the instinct of life. They're going to push against those boundaries when you say "thou shalt" and "thou shalt not." This is what we do as a family. And there are a lot of little subsets that come out of these Ten Commandments. For example, if you say "honor father and mother," then there's some subsets that might say, "Son, you'll never sass your mother in my presence and get away with it." See, that's just a subset of honoring father and mother. But you just have those boundaries that are there.

If your child pushes against that and it gives and they can go right on through, do you know what happens to that child? From that moment on, he loses his security. He loses his security! He says, "Well, in our world there really are no real laws, there are no boundaries." And you know what he'll do? He'll go right on through and he'll come over here and let somebody else set boundaries for him. Somebody that you don't agree with! And he'll get in that situation, and he'll get in some club, he'll get in some cult, he'll get in some organization that will set their own boundaries wherever they may be and as weird and wild as they may be.

Listen folks, we need to understand that there need to be boundaries. The Ten Commandments are those boundaries. Don't make yourself the issue. If you make yourself the issue, being a parent is going to be a 20-year ride through ulcer gulch. I mean, don't let them argue with you and say "Mama, can I please? Daddy, can I please?" No, I don't think so, son. Just simply say, "Son, here are the laws which our family operates by. They're God's laws, not our laws." You don't make yourself the issue. You don't have to keep on putting on the black hat and the white hat.

Have you ever been stopped by a highway patrolman? If he's like the average highway patrolman, you know what he does? He gets out of the car, he walks up to you, and he says, "Good afternoon," and he says, "May I see your license, please, sir?" Your hand's trembling, you get the thing out, you can't find it, it was in there somewhere, you know, and you get that out and you hand it over to him. And he says, "Mr. Rogers, did you realize that you were doing 65 miles an hour in a 50-mile-an-hour zone?" "Well no, officer, I didn't realize that. I was thinking about my sermon!"

He says, "Now Mr. Rogers, you have broken one of our ordinances, and I'm going to have to write you a ticket..." and he's writing and so forth and so forth, and he says, "Now here, you can pay this if you wish or you can come into the court... have a nice day. So long." He doesn't have to get in an argument with me, he doesn't get in an argument with me. He is not the issue, the law is the issue. Do you see that? He doesn't make himself the issue. I mean, listen folks, you don't have to continually have these battles with your kids once you get some boundaries. It's not Mom, it's not Dad, we just have certain boundaries that we live by.

And I'm telling you, you need to establish some boundaries, and if you don't establish those boundaries, it's going to be a long, long, hard parenting that you're going to have. And don't make yourself the continual issue where they can move against you and argue with you and get you to lower the standards or whatever. Now, the Ten Commandments are the curriculum. Next, children are the students. Children are the students. Verse 7 says you teach these things to your children. And since they're the students, let me tell you they need to be enrolled early in the university of life.

How early? Children should be given to God before they are born, and the children are yours to raise. It's not the church's responsibility to raise your children. "Oh, I sent them off to a Christian school." Friend, they are your responsibility. This church can't do it, and that Christian school can't do it, and there's nobody that you can pay to do it. It's your responsibility! And you need to enroll these kids early in the school of life.

Now fifthly and finally, life is the laboratory. Life is the laboratory. Look if you will now in verses 7 through 9: "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house..." Do you get the idea that life itself is where these things are taught? How you're to teach the word of God?

Well, number one, you're to teach them convictionally. Verse 6 says these words are to be in your heart. Now, if they're not in your heart, then you're not going to be able to teach them. And so the very first thing you have to do, Dad, Mom, is to get your heart right with God and let God's word be in your heart. Teach them convictionally. Number two, teach them consistently. Look in verse 7. God says and you'll teach them diligently. Do you know what the word "diligently" means? It means over and over again. Put in your margin Isaiah 28:10: "For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little."

Don't say, "Well, I've told them, now what's next?" No, every day you put truth upon truth upon truth, and there is a cumulative effect. One of these days, what you've taught them is going to come back, as you put a little bit in the bank every day it's going to come back with compound interest. You've got to be consistent. Now teach them not only convictionally, consistently, but creatively. Notice in verse 7, He says, "And thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way," and so forth.

There are so many ways to teach the Bible. A lot of times so-called family worship—and I believe in family worship, but it can be an ordeal—I'll tell you sometimes in our family when we had our children, that's the time we lost our religion trying to have family worship! But we learned how to do it creatively with Bible reading and stories and games and memory and Christian books and songs and rewards for doing good. You say, "Well, I don't believe in bribing kids." No, listen friend, a bribe is an inducement to do evil. A reward is a recognition for doing right. God gives rewards! Reward them for doing right and teach them these principles here. Teach it creatively.

Teach it conversationally. Look in verse 7: "And thou shalt talk of them." Just talk of them. Go down to verse 20 and look at verse 20: "And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord our God commanded you?" then you shall say to your son... there's so many teachable opportunities in life. And then you teach them conspicuously. Verses 8 and 9 says look, bind them for on your hand, put them as frontlets between your eyes. What does that mean?

Well, the Jews had phylacteries with leather straps they would bind this Shema to their wrist and put them between the frontlets of their eyes, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I think God meant more than that. I think God meant whatever you do, speaking of the right hand, is to be controlled by the word of God. Whatever you think is to be controlled by the word of God. Put them upon the doorpost of your house. As you go out, as you come in, everything you do, all of life, it is to be conspicuous that your house is a house of God.

If you come to our house, you'll see a plaque on the left-hand side of the door that mentions God, "Great and marvelous are Thy works." If you come into our foyer, you'll see the Scripture going all around the foyer. This house belongs to God. Go in our kitchen, you'll see the Ten Commandments there on the walls of our kitchen. And we want our home to be a home, a house of prayer, where the very presence of God is there. Well, Psalm 112:2 says: "The generation of the upright shall be blessed... and his seed, his descendants, shall be mighty upon the earth."

Do you know what Joyce and I are praying? We're praying not just for our children and our grandchildren. We're praying for our great-grandchildren and our great-great-grandchildren. If the Lord delays, we're praying prayers with a delayed detonation that our seed, our descendants, will be mighty upon the earth. Is there a future for the family? I'll tell you, God has told us in Deuteronomy 5 and 6 there can be a future for your family, and you need to claim it.

Let's bow our heads in prayer. Let me say that it begins by putting our faith in Jesus, loving God with a sincere, selfless, and strong love. And that love begins when we give our hearts to Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. Would you like to be saved? Would you like to know that every sin is forgiven? Would you like to have that burden rolled away? Would you like to take away the dread of the future and of death and have a hope that is steadfast and sure? Do you want a purpose for living and a hope for dying? Do you want power in your life? It all comes in the name of Jesus.

Would you pray a prayer like this if you want to be saved? Right now I want to help you to be saved, and you can be saved this moment. Pray this prayer, pray it out of your heart: "Dear God, I know that You love me and I know that You want to save me. Father, I need to be saved. I'm a sinner. My sin deserves judgment but I need and want mercy. Jesus, You paid for my sin with Your blood on the cross. Thank You for doing that. I'm ashamed of my sin, I'm sorry for my sin, I turn from my sin.

Lord Jesus, right now, this moment, with all of my heart, like a little child, I trust You. I receive You into my life as my Lord and Savior. I believe You're the Son of God. I believe You paid for my sin with Your blood. I believe You were raised from the dead and I receive You now as my Lord and Master. Save me, Jesus."

Would you pray that prayer? That settles it because it is a gift and I receive it. I stand on Your word, You cannot lie. You're my Lord and Savior. Thank You. Now Jesus, I'm so weak but You're so strong. Begin now to make me the person You want me to be and help me never to be ashamed of You. Give me the courage to make it public. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Guest (Male): If you prayed to receive Jesus just now, we would love to celebrate with you and invite you to our website to the Find God's Love page. There you'll discover more insights about your newfound faith and see the opportunity to take the next steps in your walk with God. Simply go to lwf.org/radio and click the tab that says Find God's Love. Welcome to His forever family. We can't wait to hear from you today.

Our homes are the university, we are the professors, God's law is the curriculum, our children are our students, and life is the laboratory. So let's get to work. This program has been brought to you by Love Worth Finding, a non-profit ministry showcasing the powerful preaching and teaching of Pastor Adrian Rogers. We operate solely through the generous gifts of individual supporters like you.

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