Love Worth Finding

Adrian Rogers: Can a covetous person ever truly be content? Listen to Adrian Rogers. Do you know what a covetous person is? A covetous person is a person who loves things rather than people. Do you know what a contented person is? A contented person is a person who loves people rather than things.

Have you ever thought, "Boy, we sure do have a nice house," until you visit somebody else? And all of a sudden your house that you were so happy with, you're not happy with it anymore. Do you know why? You don't love those people. You cannot be covetous and love people, and you cannot love people and be covetous.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Love Worth Finding featuring the timeless messages of pastor, teacher, and author Adrian Rogers. In part one of today's message, we learned that it's good to desire contentment for our families, but money can't buy it because a contented person does not look to circumstances to find peace. Psalm 128 describes a family that's content. If you have your Bible, turn there now as Adrian Rogers shares part two of "Cultivating Contentment in the Home."

Adrian Rogers: Let's learn what destroys family contentment. The Bible says there in the Ten Commandments, "Thou shalt not covet." It's a very interesting commandment. Before I look at that for just a moment, let me say this: that the Ten Commandments were given primarily to the family. Did you know that? God gave the Ten Commandments and he said, "Now dads, teach these to your sons and grandsons that you'll have a happy family."

And God gives all of these nine laws for living, and then God sums it up with the last one, "Thou shalt not covet." Now why did God put that last? Because it sums up all of the others. All of the other commandments deal with actions, but this last one deals with attitude. All of the others deal with deeds, but this last one deals with desire. What's in your heart? Covetousness.

What is covetousness? Covetousness is unlawful desire that comes out of discontent. Listen to me and don't forget this. A discontented man is never rich and a contented man is always rich. A discontented man, I don't care how much he has, he's never rich. A contented man is always rich, and somebody who is not content with what he has will not be content with what he would have, and to whom little is not enough, nothing is enough.

Covetousness is wrong. Now I'm not saying that it is wrong to have godly ambition. I'm not saying it's wrong to have things. But covetousness is so deceptive, it is so debasing, and friend, it is so destructive. Now this verse I'd really like for you to turn to, First Timothy chapter six. Classic passage on family contentment. First Timothy chapter six, and let's begin reading in verse six.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." That's really the bottom line of all that I have to say today. "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." Somebody said you never saw a hearse with a U-Haul behind it. "And having food and raiment," that's just something to eat and something to wear, "let us therewith be content." That's all you have to have.

"But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after," there's our word, "they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." Now that doesn't say they that are rich. The Bible is not against riches.

Abraham was rich, David was rich, Solomon was rich, Joseph of Arimathea was rich. But it says "they that will be rich." What does that mean? They're putting things first, and when you put things first, you know what that is? It's idolatry. Anything you love more, serve more, desire more, fear more, value more than God is an idol.

Now folks, when you are guilty of idolatry, you are guilty of something terrible. Listen, Jesus said in Luke chapter 16 and verse 13, "No servant can serve two masters." Boy, that's strong. No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. And if you're wondering what two masters he's talking about, he said, "You cannot serve God and Mammon."

Mammon's just another word for things. And then Jesus said in Matthew chapter six and verse 33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." God will not work in second place. When you put God in second place, that is idolatry and that's the reason the Bible calls covetousness idolatry. We have "In God we trust" on our money, but we have "me first" written in our hearts.

I heard about a man who loved gold. I mean, he just loved it, had an inordinate affection for gold. Finally, he got a lot of gold and he loved it. And so he put down the gold-colored carpet, painted the walls parchment color, got yellow drapes, got a gold-colored bedspread, even bought him some yellow pajamas. Everything was gold all around. But then he got sick, he came down with, would you believe, yellow jaundice?

You know what yellow jaundice is? Turns you yellow. And there he was up in his bedroom, his wife called the doctor and said, "Doctor, he's upstairs." The doctor went up to examine him, came back down with a bewildered look. His wife said, "Well, how is he?" Said, "I don't know, I couldn't find him." People who get lost in these things can't find themselves.

Now folks, this is what destroys family contentment, and that is covetousness, unlawful desire. Not wrong to have things, but unlawful desire, a spirit of dissatisfaction. Number two, let's think about what defines family contentment. We've talked about what destroys it, what defines family contentment? Well, look in Psalm 128. There are three things. Number one, faith for the family. Look in verse one.

"Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways." The secret of satisfaction, of true contentment, is God himself. To tell the man on the street that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the secret of satisfaction, he would laugh at you. That's the last thing he would believe would give him satisfaction. But let me give you some verses and jot them down because these are great for your children.

Hebrews chapter 13, verse five. Now remember we're talking about contentment. Listen to this. "Let your conversation be without covetousness." The word conversation literally means behavior. Let your behavior be without covetousness, and be content with such things as ye have, for he hath said, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." All right, I'm telling you the first secret of family contentment is God himself.

The psalmist said in Psalm 73, verses 25 and 26, "Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there's none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." And then remember the scripture we read in First Timothy chapter six and verse six, "Godliness with contentment is great gain."

I was reading about Ernest Hemingway. Ernest Hemingway was a brilliant man, a great writer, a literary genius. He had fame, he had notoriety, he had money, he had everything at his fingertips that many people are striving after, and he wrote some words and then committed suicide. Do you know what he wrote? He said this about life. He said, "Life is just a dirty trick, a short journey from nothingness to nothingness." Isn't it a shame he didn't know Jesus?

You see, the first thing is the family faith, faith for the family. Second thing, look at this Psalm again. Not only faith for the family but fellowship for the family. Look in verses two and three. "Thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands, happy shalt thou be and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, and thy children like olive plants round about thy table."

Now folks, that's where it's at. Your wife, your children, the family fellowship right there. There she is clinging to you like a vine, fruitful, luxuriant. There you are providing for the family, eating the labor of your hands. There are your children like olive plants, which are very valuable in the Middle East, having that fellowship.

Folks, if people today who are foregoing having children so they can have things would wake up and understand that children don't make a rich man poor, they make a poor man rich. You can't take your riches to heaven. I'm taking my children to heaven. A very wise man, a gifted man, looked back upon his life and asked himself, if I could do it all over again, what would I do with my family?

He said, "I would love my wife more in front of my children. I would laugh with my children more at our mistakes and our joys. I would listen more, even to the youngest child. I would be more honest about my own weaknesses and stop pretending perfection. I would pray differently for my family. Instead of focusing on them and their faults, I would focus more on me."

"I would do more things with my children. I would be encouraging and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to the little things, deeds and words of love and kindness. And finally, if I had it to do all over again, I would share God more intimately with my family. I would use every ordinary thing that happened in every ordinary day to point them to God."

That's the family fellowship. Folks, that is where it's at. Many times we envy the wealthy. Now J. Paul Getty, one of the wealthiest men that lived in his day, had a tragic life. J. Paul Getty wrote, he said, "I've not been given to envy," but he said, "the person that I envy is the person that has a happy home and those who know how to make marriage work." He was married five times and all of them were failures.

No family contentment. Now here's the third thing you need. You need faith for the family, you need fellowship for the family, and you need food for the family. Look again at verse two. "Thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands, and happy shalt thou be. It shall be well with thee." It's amazing, isn't it? He's speaking here of the most simple things of life.

He's talking not about luxuries. He's talking about necessities. Philippians 4, verse 19, "My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Not all your greed, but all your need. If you would be content, learn to enjoy the simple things of life, which are the best things. We try to read one of our grandchildren a present, a proverb in the morning. That's one of the best family worships I know.

Proverbs chapter 15, verses 16 and 17 says this, "Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble therewith. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is," just plain vegetables, "than a stalled ox," filet mignon, "and hatred therewith." Learn folks to let your home ring with love and laughter, conversation and fun, and be content with the simpler things of life.

I'm telling you these gadgets will not make you happy. You take these kids, their closet is crammed full of the latest styles, they've got a computer, they've got every electronic gadgetry. And what do they say? "I haven't got anything to wear. I'm bored." Why? They have not learned to enjoy the very basic things. You say, "Well, I want my kids to have things I never had." That's okay.

"I want my kids to have things my dad never gave me." Okay. But are you giving them the things your dad did give you? I mean the desire to work, honesty, decency, learning to get along with these things. Teach your kids that the necessities are all it takes. Having food and clothing, let's be content. And I would to God that we'd get this in our hearts.

Now here's the third and final thing. I've talked about what destroys family contentment. I've talked about what defines family contentment: the family faith, the family fellowship, and the family food. Now here is friend what develops family contentment. In this Psalm we can find the same thing. Remember that Paul said that contentment must be learned.

He said in Philippians 4, verse 11, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content." And again let me remind you of the definition of contentment. It is an inner sufficiency that keeps us at peace in spite of outward circumstances. Now four simple things. Here they are. Four things you can learn. Number one, learn to trust God.

Look again in verse one. "Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord." If you don't do that, you're never going to be content. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Learn to trust the Lord. Have you done that? Do you have faith for your family? Is your family a God-centered family? No wonder you're discontent. You're like a square peg in a round hole.

Number two, not only learn to trust, but number two, learn to thank. Don't be grumbly hateful, be humbly grateful. God has been so good to you. Look in verse three and four. "Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold that thus shall the man be blessed."

That's it! Thank you Lord for this food. Thank you Lord for my wife. Thank you Lord for my children. I am a blessed man. Families need to learn how to thank God. It would be good for you to get a family diary and write into the blessings of God. It would be good for you to sit down and rehearse with your children day after day after day the things that God has done for them.

Number three, learn to love. Look in verses five and six of this Psalm. "The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion, and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life." It's not just simply for your own family. Lift up your eyes. Look at others. Look at this city, look at people who are in need, and learn to love.

Do you know what a covetous person is? A covetous person is a person who loves things rather than people. Do you know what a contented person is? A contented person is a person who loves people rather than things. Have you ever had something that you were satisfied with, maybe you had a Honda, until you met somebody who had a BMW?

And then you meet somebody with a BMW and you're satisfied until you meet somebody who has a Porsche or a Jaguar. Or have you ever thought, "Boy, we sure do have a nice house," until you visit somebody else? "Good night, where did they get all this stuff? How do they do this? Where did all this come from?"

And all of a sudden your house that you were so happy with, you're not happy with it anymore. Do you know why? You don't love those people. I make it a habit, nobody hears me doing it, but I walk into a lovely gracious home, I bow my head and I thank God for his blessings on those people. "Thank you Lord for blessing those people. Thank you that you've been this good to them."

Teach your children that somebody else's blessing is not their loss. You cannot be covetous and love people, and you cannot love people and be covetous. Learn to trust, learn to thank, learn to love, and learn to give. If you want family contentment, let your family learn to give. A congressman told this story, he told it to his pastor.

"I took my son to McDonald's. We're going to have some father-son fellowship. You know how we all dream of that. And he wanted a large order of fries. And he got this large order of fries, and we sat down, father and son, to have some fellowship. And I sat there across from him and looked at that large order of fries and they smelled so good. I thought I'd have a couple."

"I reached out my hand to get a couple of French fries and my son put his hand over my hand and said, 'Hey, those are mine.' I thought to myself, my son has a problem, a real problem. And it just flew all over me. And I got to thinking, number one, doesn't he know who bought those fries and gave them to him?"

"And doesn't he know that if I wanted to I could buy him more fries? I could go up there and order 20 orders of fries and bury him in French fries. And doesn't he know if I wanted to I could take those away from him that he already has if I wanted to? And doesn't he know that if I want some French fries for myself I could go buy them?"

"Doesn't he know that I'm trying to have fellowship with him? And before I could tell the story more time than I could think, God spoke to my heart and said, 'My son, that's the way you are sometimes. I have given you blessings, and when I ask for a part of that blessing you say, 'Hey, that's mine.''"

And God said, "Son, don't you know that I could take that whole thing from you if I wanted to? And don't you know if I wanted to I could give you more? And don't you know that I don't need that? I am God. Anything I want, the earth is mine and the fullness thereof. And don't you know that I was wanting to have some fellowship with you?" Oh friend, make sure your family has contentment.