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How to Encourage Yourself

April 11, 2026
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We all have experienced moments when everything in our lives seem to be ruined. Learn about the seven "R's" needed to encourage yourself as Dr. Stanley teaches from the life of David. Make the choice to encourage yourself in the Lord today.

Dr. Charles Stanley: What he did for David, he will do for you. He says in the New Testament, Paul says very clearly, that these things in the past were given to us for our admonition, for our understanding, in order that we may escape their mistakes. So that if God will do this in the lives of men like David, he'll do the same thing in your life and my life. He wants us to learn how to encourage our own hearts.

Guest (Male): Have you ever been so discouraged that you felt incapable of making a decision? Maybe your situation was one of your own making. Well, that's where we find David in today's edition of In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. In this lesson in our series, David's Dire Predicament in 1 Samuel Chapter 30 helps us learn how to encourage ourselves. Let's join Dr. Stanley now for his message.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Well, what I want you to see tonight is how David encouraged his own heart. And let me ask you something. You remember the last time that the bottom dropped out on you? I mean, it really dropped out. And you looked down, you thought, Lord, I can't go any further down. When everything within you said, there's no way out. Everything in you rose up with remorse and regret, or maybe bitterness and resentment, and hurt and anger and fear and unbelief and doubt.

And you were just shrouded with it, just covered, just flooded with it. Just the assaults of Satan continuously barraging you, and telling you that God didn't really care, that God really wasn't concerned about you. And after all, God wasn't listening to your prayers. He had no personal concern about you, and a lot of these things that you've been believing all along, there was nothing to it.

Well, there are three areas of this passage that I want us to look at. I want us to get down to the second one, but I want us to divide it up to see what's happening here. The first one is this, and that is the disaster that David faced here, because he did face a disaster. Here he was coming back to his own town with all of these men who were really a bunch of criminals and renegades who decided to side up with David because they couldn't afford to stay in Saul's camp because of who they were. And we talked about that before.

When they approach Ziklag, they see the whole city in flames, burning and smoldering. When they get back, they discover that all of their sons and daughters have been taken. They don't see anybody lying around dead. They don't see their cattle dead, but everything has been taken. So, here's their whole town smoldering in flames. And not only that, but David's men, who'd been so faithful and loyal, they had begun to talk about stoning him to death right in the middle of them.

And David had to know as he stood there in the ashes and ruins with all of his possessions gone, his family gone, and the very men who were with him beginning to talk about mutiny, he had absolutely nobody to turn to. And that's the kind of disaster he stood in. And I believe there are people tonight who are standing in that kind of disaster in their home life. The whole thing's breaking apart and falling apart. And the hurt and the ruin and the wreck and the division and the bitterness and the resentment, they're standing in ashes.

Sometimes it takes years before it all comes tumbling down, but eventually it's going to come tumbling down because you cannot deliberately step out of the will of God without making a mess out of your life. And you see people have warned and warned and warned and warned and warned and warned, and sometimes folks don't listen. To me, the most tragic, grievous thing of my heart is to have to sit down and listen when I know two years before, six months before, a year before, three months before, I pleaded with them not to do it. They're going to do it anyway.

And you see, that's where David is. He just got out of God's will. He wasn't willing to trust the Lord for his protection. He's going to do it his way, going to have his will, and he stood in the ruins, in the ashes of self-will. And listen, when we mess it all up, that's how we got there: self-will. Going to do it my way, not going to listen to God. I have a better way than he has. And what happens? It always ends in wreck and ruin.

Now, look at the despair he's facing. Here's the disaster that he's made for himself. Here's the despair: And David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept until they had no more to weep. Let me ask you something. Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt so broken and so absolutely totally distraught that you felt in your heart there just were not any more tears to flow? I mean, totally broken on the inside.

Whenever God chooses to use somebody, he's going to break them. He's going to break you, whether he uses you in a great way or a small way. Now, you can resist it. You can resist the brokenness. What we have in verse four, here is David. He has absolutely nothing. Not even the allegiance and loyalty of his own men. He's standing absolutely for all practical purposes, he is possession-wise and family-wise absolutely naked. There's nothing there.

Now, one of the best things ever happened to David was Ziklag. He never forgot it because you see, that's where God broke David. He didn't have any other place to go. He didn't have anybody else to lean on. In fact, the only person he had at this point was Almighty God. Now, listen. Sometimes what seems to be a disaster in your life and my life is not a disaster, but it is the gateway to a whole new beginning of our life.

And you know, I think some of the most exciting Christians I know are people who've hit rock bottom, but who've seen the gate just outside rock bottom. And they've seen the gate open and they know that God is opening a new life for them. So, if Romans 8:28 is true, and it is true, Ziklag wasn't a disaster. It was a disaster, but it was a disaster turned into a whole new lifestyle for David because something happens here.

And notice what he says. Verse six: David was greatly distressed for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters. But listen, the Bible says, but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. So what did David do? He did the wise thing. The Bible says he made a decision. Not to blame the Amalekites, not to resign himself to the situation, but the scripture says he determined to encourage his heart with the Lord.

Now, what I want to talk about for the rest of the time is: how do you encourage your heart? Because when you read that verse, of course it doesn't tell us exactly what he did. It says, 'And David encouraged himself in the Lord.' How do you encourage yourself? The first thing you do is to purpose in your heart to reject, reject the feelings of fear and doubt. And you can purpose in your heart, you can do that.

And I've said that to you before, and I want to say it again, I'm going to keep on saying it. You can reject. Here you are deeply distressed. You can say, Lord, in Jesus' name, I reject, I reject the feelings of fear and doubt that assail me and bring me to this point of distress. Now, that's only the first step, but you can say that, and you need to say it: I reject fear. I reject the feelings of fear, I reject the feeling of doubt.

The second thing is this: to encourage oneself, one must redirect their thoughts. And that's exactly what David did. Watch this. Here he was standing in the ashes and the ruins of Ziklag. To encourage his own heart, the first thing he had to do is to reject those feelings that came sailing in upon him. Wreck, ruin, the loss of his family, the loss of his possessions, the fear of their being taken away and never seeing them again, the doubts that God would retrieve them.

All of these things came in like a tremendously heavy cloud upon him. He had to reject that. He said he encouraged his own heart. Then he had to focus his attention upon the Lord. And you see, you can do that. Don't let anybody tell you you can't. You can reject the feelings of doubt and fear, and you can focus your attention upon the Lord. When you focus your attention upon him, what's the next thing you do?

The next thing you do is that you recall God's blessings in your life in the past. And let me interpret blessings. I mean God's ways that he's worked in your life in the past. You reject the feelings, you refocus your mind on the things of God, and you recall how has God worked in your life in the past. And all of us will have to admit that every single time we have been in some calamity, distressful, disastrous situation, every single time somehow, some way, God brought us through it.

As David began to recall how God had worked in his life in the past, he must have recalled and he could still see Saul's javelin headed right toward him. He can still remember the fear that gripped him when Saul cast that javelin. As he recalled how God had come through each time, what happens? As he began to focus his attention upon the Lord and recall these things, his spirit began to change. The old David began to come back.

The fourth thing is to review God's ways. Now, when we want to encourage our hearts, we've got to reject the fear and the doubt, refocus our attention upon him, recall what he's done for us in the past, and then review how God has operated in the lives of his saints in the word of God. There's nothing that'll so encourage your heart as reviewing God's activity in the lives of those we find in the scriptures, especially in the Old Testament.

Nothing to me personally is so encouraging to my heart to get in a position that I think, now Lord, how did you operate in Abraham's life? What did you do in Joseph's life? How did you work in Daniel's life? What did you do in the life of these Old Testament characters whom you loved so dearly? But you've loved me as much as you loved them. You sent your only begotten son not only for David, but for Charles Stanley. You love me just as much as you love them. You don't use us the same, but you love us just as much.

And you see what you and I have to be able to apply is this: remembering that the God who sees us in our distress is pouring out his love, and his love is able to be received and applied as we focus upon him, reject these feelings, recall his past blessings, and review how he's expressed his love toward other people. Now, the next thing is we must reason, that is with reason, we must replace our emotional feelings with reason.

Because you see, even though you're feasting upon what God has done in somebody else's life, these old emotional waves are going to keep coming. They're just like the tide, they just keep coming in. Watch this. The tide just keeps coming in. Doubt and fears and frustrations and anxieties because you say, well, how did God work in their lives? Satan will just throw one right in on you. And see, he knows how to get one right in the ribcage when you're not looking.

When you think, oh Lord, this is the way you were operating in somebody else's life, then will you operate in my life like this? And Satan will say, yeah, but you're not Joseph. He'll give you a barrage of reasons to doubt, and you'll just be overwhelmed with doubt. And you see, that's when you and I must resist these emotional feelings and say, but what is the truth? Friend, when you're on rock bottom, you're shattered all over the rocks of life, you can't just walk in and say, I'm going to change my attitude.

It doesn't happen that way. It is recall of past blessings and review of what he has done, the promises in the Psalms, how he has worked in these lives. What does that do? That sort of changes the tide and I'm able to begin to reason from God's point of view, having focused upon him and recalled and reviewed what he's done. Then I'm getting his viewpoint. I'm beginning to think what he thinks, and as I begin to think the way God thinks, the tide goes out.

And what happens? We begin then to feel the encouragement of the Lord. We will only feel the encouragement of the Lord when we have resisted the feelings that Satan throws upon us. The Bible in truth is not going to work. 2,000 years ago, God doesn't operate the same. And after all, here's your situation, who's going to get you out of it? Nobody to help you. The thousand things he throws upon you. God will change the tide of your emotional feeling if you will focus upon him and absorb in your mind what he's been doing.

Then the next thing you and I have to do is to be willing to face up to what we did to get ourselves in that mess and repent of our own disobedience before God. All these start with an R so you can remember them. That is repent of the things we did to get ourselves in that mess. You see, it isn't that God's just going to reach down and pull us out and patch us up and say, okay, everything's going to be fine. We have to face the issue. And David had to face it here. He got himself in this mess.

He was standing in the ruins and the ashes of his own self-will. And God had to bring him to the end of himself. And that's really what happened in this passage. David came to the end of himself and what is he doing? He's having to face up to it. And you see, you're not going to have an encouraged heart, my friend, until you're willing to face it up with God and say, Lord, I am responsible. I may not be totally responsible as far as the world is concerned, but Lord, I must assume responsibility that I'm here because of my disobedience. I've violated your will. I've violated your principles. I assume responsibility and I'm thanking you for your forgiveness. Very important. And you know what happens? That takes the guilt away. Then you begin to sense a feeling of freedom. And you see the tide's turned. The feeling of remorse and distress and disillusionment, the feeling of hopelessness, the tide turns. You become freed in your own spirit.

And then I think the last thing that I would say here is and it's exactly what David did, and that is report for new orders. That's what David did. It's a beautiful big picture. The Bible says he encouraged his heart, doesn't give us all the details. He encouraged himself in the Lord his God, and then what did he do? He sought the Lord for the next move in his life. Now, I think here's a very important point when it comes to encouraging oneself, because here's what sometimes we do.

We draw a circle around ourselves and we say, Lord, look at the mess I'm in. And even as we begin to try to get out of it, if we're not careful, we'll go through some of these steps and we will say, and oh Lord, I don't know how long I'm going to be here. Oh God, I... and that's not what God wants us to do. Once we've gone through those steps, he wants us to say, now Lord, what's the next step? That's always a key question. What's the next step, Lord? What do you want me to do now?

You see, God doesn't ever want us to wallow in what he's gotten us out of. If he has moved you out of this point of distress and disaster in your life, you may still be standing in it physically. But what does God do when you begin to encourage your heart? Spiritually and emotionally and mentally, he moves you out of it. And you see, God always gives us some new order once we settle up with him. He has another step. He doesn't want you wallowing and saying, well, I'm just going to wait upon the Lord and just see what God finally does.

God doesn't operate that way because you see, if you wait, there's a time to wait and a time to move. And when you're encouraging your own heart in a given situation and you've gone through these steps, the next step is to ask the Lord, now Lord, I'm reporting for duty, what do you want me to do at this point? He doesn't want you wallowing in the past. David didn't have to go through any long debriefing period with God. He didn't have to pay him back anything. He said, Lord, what shall I do? Listen. Pursue, for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail, you'll recover everything you've lost.

Let me ask you something. Is there something in your life tonight you've lost, you wish you could get back? It just might be that God's waiting for you to get on the rocks at the bottom end of yourself with no other place to go where he can show you what to do next. He said, pursue them, you're going to recover all of it. The rest of that chapter talks about it. Verse 18 says, and David recovered all. He didn't lose one person, one sheep, one goat.

He didn't lose one... listen, you see God makes no mistakes. Listen to what God said. He says, pursue for thou shalt surely overtake them and without fail recover all. You know what we say? We say, well, most of it. Part of it. When God says all, God meant all. The Bible says God told David, David pursued them. He listened to him weep. He heard his cry. He heard his sense of desperation. He heard his appeal. He heard him crying out to Almighty God in absolute total desperation and helplessness.

God heard him, and God knew that David had reached the point where he was once again usable for God. Friend, you can be in a crowd and be in distress and have nobody to encourage your heart. But if you'll just jot down those seven Rs. Maybe on your fingers or somewhere. Maybe if you feel something coming on then stick this in your pocketbook. And you see, as you go through it, God will lift your spirit and he'll give you something to do that'll change your whole perspective and your whole attitude about life.

What God did at Ziklag, he opened the gate for David to a whole new life because what happens after this, the battle of Philistines and the nation of Israel. Jonathan and Saul are dead as a result of the battle, and David becomes the king. But it took Ziklag to get him ready. He was not fit to be king until he was broken, standing in the ashes and wreck of his own messed up life. There because of self-will. Then he was ready to be the king. And could it be that God may be waiting for you tonight to get to the end of yourself before he opens the door of something that you've been waiting for for a long time?

Guest (Male): You're listening to In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. God used the experience at Ziklag to prepare David to be king. The experience that you're facing could be preparation as well. Allow your circumstances to motivate you to seek the Lord and find encouragement in him. To listen again, click the link to Today on Radio at intouch.org.

And to study more about relying on God's grace to meet your needs and carry your burdens with other free resources, also available at our website. And you can head over to our online bookstore if you'd like to order a copy of today's complete message. The title is: How to Encourage Yourself. Or order our teaching set, we call it Pursuing God's Heart. Our web address again is intouch.org. Or call or text us at 1-800-INTOUCH. You can also write us at In Touch, Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia, 30357.

Do you have a friend or family member struggling with a spiritual problem? Inside on how to respond is coming up in today's moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: The peace of God is tranquility and quietness of the soul. It is the assurance that no matter what's going on around us, everything is secure. Peace is not determined by circumstance, neither is it a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice.

Guest (Male): In a world filled with noise and uncertainty, you can discover peace that cannot be shaken. Get your new free booklet, Peaceful and Still: A Guide to Experiencing God's Rest in an Anxious Age. Visit intouch.org/peaceful.

Dr. Charles Stanley: The cross was not something that God gave us as a point of decoration. The cross is the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Guest (Male): But what is it about the message of the cross that can transform you every day of your life? In his book, The Gift of the Cross, Dr. Charles Stanley walks us through scripture to show us how to see the cross in a new light. The Gift of the Cross, order yours today at intouch.org/store.

Guest (Female): From the Pastor's Heart is an in-depth teaching letter inspired by the teachings of Dr. Charles Stanley. To receive In Touch's From the Pastor's Heart letter, call 1-800-INTOUCH or visit intouch.org/pastorsheart.

Guest (Male): You're listening to In Touch. If someone is hurting, rushing in to relieve their pain may not be the best response. With insight for believers, here's a moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Sometimes we become the very enemy of the people we want to help the most. And more than enemy, let's say we become the barrier and a hindrance to those people. When God's got somebody on the rocks, I mean they're really sprawled out on the rocks and God's breaking them, and we come running in the rescue mission and say, well look, here's what I'm going to do for you. If God has them sprawled all over the rocks broken and emotionally at their end, don't go rushing in trying to patch up everything.

Because it may have taken God ten long years to get them there and then you want to pick them up. Now that's our tendency, and if you have the gift of mercy, you just can't stand to see anybody broken. You want to help them. And sometimes it's awfully difficult to have to stand by and watch somebody bleed. But God says, don't, don't touch them. Don't do that. I'm working out something in their life, don't mess with that. Then you better not mess with that.

You say, you mean to tell me that if God's breaking somebody and I see somebody bleeding on the inside that I'm not to help them? I'm saying that you need to ask yourself the first question: Lord, are you trying to teach them something? I'm available, Lord, to reach down and get under their burden and undergird them and do everything in my power to help them. Or Lord, if necessary, I'm willing not to say anything.

Guest (Male): For help learning how to receive direction from God, visit us at intouch.org. And if today's program encouraged you to invest more deeply in your relationship with Christ, we'd love to hear your story. Next time on In Touch, we often think of the people who are most visible as the ones who are the most important. Hear about the value of staying by the stuff as our series on 1 and 2 Samuel continues next week on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

This program is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia, and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.

This transcript is provided as a written companion to the original message and may contain inaccuracies or transcription errors. For complete context and clarity, please refer to the original audio recording. Time-sensitive references or promotional details may be outdated. This material is intended for personal use and informational purposes only.

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Video from Dr. Charles Stanley

About In Touch Ministries

In Touch Ministries is the broadcast teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

About Dr. Charles Stanley

Dr. Charles Stanley

September 25, 1932 – April 18, 2023

Dr. Charles F. Stanley was the senior pastor of First Baptist Church Atlanta for more than fifty years. He was also the founder of In Touch Ministries and a New York Times best-selling author, who wrote more than seventy books encouraging people to seek Jesus as their Savior and know Him as their wise and loving Lord. 

Known to audiences around the world through his wide-reaching TV and radio broadcasts, Stanley modeled his 65 years of ministry after the apostle Paul’s message in Acts 20:24: “Life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about God’s mighty kindness and love.”

Contact In Touch Ministries with Dr. Charles Stanley

Mailing Address
In Touch Ministries
PO Box 7900
Atlanta, GA 30357


Phone Number
1-800-468-6824