In Touch Ministries

Dr. Charles Stanley: When you and I fail, and we get into the Word of God saying, Lord, show me why did I fail? Why do I keep on failing? God, show me what are you trying to say to me? It is amazing what you will learn about the Lord. It is amazing what you will learn about yourself. It is amazing what you learn about the grace and the goodness and the forgiveness of God and how God operates in the person's life.

Guest (Male): God intends for his followers to live holy, righteous lives. But we sometimes reject his way and choose to sin. When that happens, what do you do next? We'll find guidance today on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. When we look at David's attitude after his sin with Bathsheba, here's part two of responding to sin. Let's listen in to Dr. Stanley's message.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Now, what do we do with our sin? When we have yielded to temptation, how do we respond to that? We can respond by having ourselves a big pity party and just saying shame on me. God, I promise you I'm not going to do it again and turn right around and respond the same way.

I believe there's some very specific things that God would have us to do once we failed, once we've yielded, once we know we have sinned against God. And the first step is this, and that is to repent of your sin before God. If you'll notice in this passage in Psalm 51, David puts it this way, he says in verse 4, against Thee, Thee only have I sinned. That does not mean that he did not recognize that he'd sinned against Bathsheba and against Uriah, her husband, but that primarily, most of all, that he had sinned against the living God.

Recognition that his sin is against God, recognition that that sin is against the backdrop of the goodness and love and mercy of God that He'd been bestowing upon him all the days of his life. And we need to recognize that, that our sin is against Almighty God, against the backdrop of goodness and love and mercy and kindness and generosity that God has been expressing to us all the days of our life.

The recognition that our sin is against God. That is extremely important because you see, the truth is, the basis of all of our sin. When you uncover all of it, ultimately, it is against God. It may be against other people, but primarily against the loving Father who is unconditionally loving us all the days of our life.

Step number one, repent of that sin before God. Step number two, accept the forgiveness of God. Jesus Christ died in order that all men may be saved. Only those are saved who apply to their heart by personal acceptance through faith and repentance of their sin in the Lord Jesus Christ, that redemption is only applied to those who receive it.

But now what about my forgiveness now that I am a believer? Though God has forgiven me of my sin 2,000 years ago, I will only be able to experience that forgiveness. I will only be able to enjoy released and liberty from that guilt. I will only be able to experience freedom from that bondage when I genuinely repent of my sin.

First of all, there must be genuine repentance before God. Secondly, there must be the acceptance of our forgiveness before Him. Thirdly, that is to accept God's discipline willingly. If you'll recall back in 2 Samuel chapter 12, what God said to Nathan, he said, "Here's what I want you to tell David." He confronts David and then he says to him, in verse 10, "Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife."

Now David not only committed adultery with Bathsheba, he had her husband murdered, and then he had the audacity to marry this woman whose husband he had killed in order that she could be his wife. God was solely displeased. God was grieved and he said to David through Nathan. He said, "The sword shall never leave your house as long as you live." That, friend, that is very severe discipline.

And I'm going to talk about why in just a moment, but I want you to listen carefully. Very severe discipline. If you will look at the life of David, from the time David sinned against Bathsheba, everything in his life changed, it was downhill the rest of the way. Up until that time, God had done some wonderful, marvelous things in his life. Made him king, respected by the people of the world.

But now that he sinned against Bathsheba, and it wasn't just adultery, but it was murder and then marrying the very woman whose husband he had murdered. Bringing disgrace upon Israel. He had sinned against God. And the scripture says, Nathan said to him, "The sword will never leave your house." There is a long list of events in the rest of 2 Samuel, of things that happened to David and in his life and to his family as a result of his sin.

Suppose David, upon committing adultery with Bathsheba, had that very night or the very next morning with a sense of grief in his heart that he'd sinned against God, that is confessing his sin, acknowledging that it was against God, assuming full responsibility, doing it immediately with open and honesty. If he had done that, there would have been no murder, there would have been no marriage of Bathsheba, but he waited till he was confronted with Nathan. He tried to cover up his sin.

That's why genuine repentance immediately is so very, very important. And the discipline in his life was extremely severe. David, who was the king of Israel, sinned against God and he violated several of the commandments. He was the king. And God could not allow King David to get away with that sin without disciplining him in a fashion that the whole nation of Israel would learn the lesson. You can't commit adultery and murder and marry the murdered person's wife and God ignore it.

So we have to be very careful because the discipline of God is coming. Now you say, well, but no, wait a minute, if he has forgiven me, how can God discipline me having forgiven me? Because discipline is an act of love. Forgiving me says that God is not going to hold it against me. He's wiped it out. But because he loves me and because he does not want it repeated again and again and again, because God wants to teach us something, because God wants to build us up, because he wants to make us an encouragement to others, because he wants to deepen our relationship with him so that we become more valuable in service to him.

What does he do? He corrects us by discipline as an act of love. And sometimes you say, "Oh God, you're loving me too much. I can't handle that." Well, all of us feel that way at times, but it is always an expression of love. Whether it is light discipline or heavy discipline, it is always an expression of love to correct us lest we ruin and destroy ourselves.

So when the discipline comes, it doesn't mean we haven't been forgiven. It just means that God is keeping his word. What does he say in Hebrews? He disciplines those whom he loves, so that the discipline is an expression of love and we should accept the discipline of God without complaining, realizing that it is coming from an expression of unconditional love.

But there's another step and that is, you and I are to seek to learn the lessons that God would have us to learn. Now what are those lessons? Now there are three words I want you to jot down. First of all, humility. Secondly, purity, and thirdly, instruction. When we fail before God, we should ask God, Lord, humble my spirit before you. Lord, purify my sinful heart. Thirdly, Lord, instruct me in your ways so that this will not become a habit in my life, so that I will not repeat this grief against you and against myself and maybe against someone else.

The spirit of humility, purity in our heart, instruction, wisdom. That is, whenever you and I fall and fault before God, we should ask the Lord, Lord, teach me what you want me to know, instruct me in the ways that I should be instructed, lest this become a part of my life. And I continually hinder your work, and I continually hinder your work within me.

How do you respond when you fail? Do you ask God to teach you something or, Lord, please get me out of this mess quickly. Unmess my mess, God, by your grace. Is that what you tell him? You see, the truth is, we should always be looking to learn something from our failures. Otherwise, if we don't learn anything from our failures, what do we have to give to someone else?

It is amidst our failures and our tears and our heartache that God is able to instruct us and purify us and humble us, and as he does, we become more useful to him. But when we avoid it, when we refuse to listen, when the only thing we want is for God to get the pressure off and you make him all kind of promises and God knows those promises don't mean a thing.

If we are really sincere, we're going to begin to search the word. We're going to want to know what is God saying? What is he doing? What is he trying to teach me in these areas of my failure in life? I believe David learned a lot of things that he was able to share to those about him, which he did. And I believe there's a verse of scripture here that says that is true of him.

So, we seek to learn the lessons that God wants to teach us. And then, if we continue to struggle, this is the next point. I want you to jot this down. If you continue to struggle with that temptation, seek godly counsel. Sometimes one of the wisest things you can do is to find some person whom you trust, who will be a wise, godly counselor to you. To help you to understand why you're reacting the way you're reacting, why you're responding the way you're responding. What is it in you? What need is there in you that's not being met, and you're trying to meet that need in a way that is unholy before God and disastrous to your own sense of self-esteem and to God's purpose and plan for your life.

And if, my friend, you cannot find someone who is a friend, find some godly, professional counselor. Someone who will help you walk through that until you understand why, what's going on in your life, and someone who can encourage you. You see, sometimes that's what we need. We need someone to encourage us alone. Someone to confront us and help us to see why we failed, and the circumstance in which we failed, and why is it we repeatedly fail, and what mistake we're making, and what little twitch in our thinking that's not right, and how we've been deceived by the devil, and how we're living in deceptions. There are reasons and sometime we need someone else to help us understand that.

My friend, if you're too proud to ask for help, I can assure you one thing, Satan is going to defeat you. If you're too proud to ask for help, when you have repeated failures, I want to encourage you, don't ever be too proud to say, "God, I don't know what to do next." Don't ever be too proud to say to someone whom you can trust, "Listen, I'm in trouble. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I keep failing the same old way. Would you please help me to understand what it is inside of me that's going on that I don't seem to be able to handle?" And there's some folks who don't understand what's going on. Sometimes they're just deceived by the devil and they cannot see it. He has blinded them totally. They think they're doing the right thing, they want to do the right thing, but they've been deceived by the devil.

And so sometimes it is a matter of seeking wise, godly counsel. Lord, I need your help. And sometimes, you and I need someone else's help. So let me repeat this. Don't ever be too proud to say to someone, would you help me? I don't know what to do. I have failed and I really need you to help me.

Sometime that is the wisest decision you can make. And if you find yourself failing and failing and failing, I believe that is an indication you need some wise, godly counsel. Someone you can go to that will help you through this time of difficulty in your life. And then there's one other thing I want to mention here, and I want you to notice if you will in this 51st Psalm, what David says. He says in verse 10, "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a steadfast spirit within me. Don't cast me away from thy presence. Do not take thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of thy salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit."

Then he says, "Lord, if you will do all that, this is what I'll do." Verse 13. "Then I will teach transgressors thy ways and sinners will be converted to thee." Which means leads me to the last thing that I want to say at this point and that is, we are to share wisely God's grace and God's power in our temptation experience. We ought to share wisely. Very important you jot that word down. Share wisely. God's grace and God's power in our temptation experiences.

Why do you think God has forgiven you? Why do you think God is teaching you? Why do you think God is sustaining you and comforting you? Why do you think he's making you wise in our failures and in our misunderstandings and our faults and our deliberate willful sins against him? Why is he correcting us? Not only for our benefit, but for the benefit of others.

You see, sometimes the most valuable friend we have is a friend who has already preceded us down the road of failure. Sometimes, that's the best friend you can have. Someone who has already preceded you down the road of failure, and God in his grace and wisdom and power has delivered them. And then they can say to you and me, I've been where you are. And I want to tell you, God hasn't abandoned you. I want to tell you, God still loves you. I want to tell you, his forgiveness is all sufficient and his grace is all sufficient, and he's helped me, he'll also help you if you're willing to let him do it.

You see, when you and I are willing to say, "Let me tell you about my failures. Let me tell you what God in his grace and loving power has done in my life." Now, when we share our failures, notice what I said, share them wisely. You don't share failures and give such intimate details in such a fashion to stir up more motivation to temptation, but rather to share them so wisely that the other person will see primarily that your sin was against God, that you were grieved in your spirit, that you suffered the discipline of God and that your heart ached and that God has delivered you by his grace and he's empowered you to overcome that in your life. That's what people need to hear.

But on the other hand, there's another word of caution. We never share our victories or our failures with a sense of, I have learned. My friend, don't ever tell anybody that. Just tell them you're learning. God is working in my life, I'm still learning. Once you say, "Let me tell you what I have learned," watch out. Because Satan's going to unleash the most vicious attack against the very area of your life in which you think you have succeeded or in which you think you have victory.

We're all learners. That's what a disciple is. A disciple isn't someone who has learned it. A disciple is one who has and is in the process of learning the ways of God. If I'm going to respond to my failures properly, I'm going to respond as a learner. One who is humbled in spirit, purified in the heart out of true repentance, and a person who is seeking wisdom and instruction.

And you see, here's what will happen. When you and I fail and we get into the Word of God saying, "Lord, show me why did I fail? Why do I keep on failing? God, show me what are you trying to say to me?" It is amazing what you will learn about the Lord. It is amazing what you will learn about yourself. It is amazing what you learn about the grace and the goodness and the forgiveness of God and how God operates in the person's life. These biblical characters' lives will just suddenly come off the page and you'll think, "God, that's how I feel. That's how you responded to them. I expect you to respond to my life in the same way."

And what happens, you and I become valuable friends because we become encouragers to other people. Friend, when you have hit the bottom, who do you want to talk to? Somebody who's been to the bottom and is at least come just a little ways off of it, in whose life God is teaching them and instructing them, and they've experienced the pits, but they've experienced the grace, they've experienced the power of God, and they're there to encourage you. That's the kind of friend you want.

We're never to sin in order to make ourselves good friends to others. We don't sin that grace may abound more. Paul warns us against that. But we in our failures are to take advantage of every single opportunity to learn and to equip ourselves against further failure in order what? We'll be more useful to God, a greater encouragement, a more powerful witness to other people who are where we have been.

Now, my friends, you and I can respond to temptation several ways. We can grow bitter, we can become barren and useless and wasteful in our life, or we can become a tremendous blessing to someone else. But it just depends on how you and I respond. And my friend, it is a choice you make. And my plea to you today is, don't waste your failures. Profit from them and become a valuable blessing to someone else who is hurting desperately just like you've hurt.

Guest (Male): Thanks for listening to In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. One of God's amazing attributes is his ability to use even our gross failures in a way that helps others. But it's vitally important that we recognize and confess our sin and turn to God as King David did. Use Psalm 51 as a pattern for repentance and restoration as you leave failure behind and seek to live a holy life. To listen again, click on Today on Radio at intouch.org. And you can order a copy of Dr. Stanley's complete message from our online bookstore. The title is Responding to Sin, or order his teaching set, Pursuing God's Heart. Our web address again is intouch.org or call or text us at the number 1-800-IN TOUCH. You can also write to us at In Touch, Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia, 30357. And our phone number again, 1-800-IN TOUCH.

Guest (Female): Are you willing to be honest with God? We'll be reminded how important it is to face the facts just ahead in today's moment with Charles Stanley.

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Guest (Male): You're listening to In Touch. Hiding sin never works. In fact, it denies yourself of what you really need. Here's a moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: We can't always be holy. We won't always be holy, but we can be honest and I believe that in the eyes of God, God is looking for those of us who are open and honest about our sin, honest about our weaknesses, honest about our frailties. Honest about our faults and our failures, because you see, God is willing to walk in grace and goodness and love and mercy and forgiveness with anyone who is open and honest to him about their sin. No matter how grievous it may be, if we're open and honest, truly repentant, confessing our guilt before him, assuming full responsibility, acknowledging that our guilt and our sin is against God, God's fellowship with us will be sweet and tender when we are open and honest with God. But when we start trying to cover it up and say, "Lord, now you know, I know I've made a mistake, but after all, God, I know that everybody makes mistakes, nobody's perfect." That is dishonesty. The truth is we have sinned against God, we must be absolutely open and honest with God about it.

Guest (Male): Learn more about the hope you can have through faith in Jesus Christ at intouch.org. Do you have a story about how God's grace has touched you through this broadcast? We would love to hear it. On In Touch next time, for those of us who are believers, God forgives the penalty of our sin. But what about the natural consequences that can follow? We'll take a look at David's life after his sin with Bathsheba when we return on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. This program is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia, and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.