In Touch Ministries

Dr. Charles Stanley: Has somebody in your life or somebody you know, somebody you work with, somebody you live with and there's something going on in their life you know should not be there? Whenever somebody else falls or faults is in their life, no matter who they are, you and I should never be critical of the person.

But while we observe what happens, our spirit should be, "Lord, teach me something in this. Help me to learn by somebody else's fault or failure."

Guest (Male): The New Testament reveals the genuine concern Jesus had for everyone around him. And today's edition of In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley, challenges us to consider this point: If the Son of God spent his time caring for helpless people, then how can we, as his followers, do any less? Our series continues with part two of "Bearing Each Other's Burdens."

Dr. Charles Stanley: If you knew that your son or daughter was into something that was going to destroy their life, wreck their life, and impact them for the rest of their life, you would want to become involved in their life in such a way to have them restored to be the wonderful young man or young woman that they started out being. Restoration, that's what you want.

So you would take the advantage of your relationship with that son or daughter to restore them to that relationship that you know is right. Well, all of us are children in the eyes of God. All of us are His sons and daughters, and all of us need help at some point in our life.

I want you to turn, if you will, to Galatians chapter 6, and let's read these first five verses together. Here's what Paul says. He says, "Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ."

Now watch this carefully. If you and I are going to bear someone else's burden and help them be restored, we have to be the kind of person who is spiritually minded. That doesn't mean you just go to church, read your Bible, and pray. Spiritually minded means the most important thing in our life is our walk with Christ.

Spiritually minded speaks in terms of being filled with the Holy Spirit, controlled by the Holy Spirit. That keeps our motives right, keeps our purpose right, keeps our objective right. He says, "You who are spiritual." If you're living in sin and about half-backslidden, then you can't do much for someone else because your own heart has to be right.

But he says, "You who are spiritual" do what? He says, "Restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness." Ask yourself this question: Is your character, your conduct, and your conversation on a daily basis of such that people who are living in sin are convicted by your presence? Who hear you speak are bothered by what you say?

But on the other hand, those believers out there who are going through difficulty and burdens—and part of that is not only burdens of everyday life, but part of it is sin in their life; they just can't shake loose from the past—then how are you to help them? They have to see something in your life and mine. They have to feel something about us before they're going to trust us.

Because one of the primary reasons, one of the most difficult things in helping people is this: they don't trust Christians or they don't trust each other. Here's a person who's hurting, and you go to them and say, "I really want to help you," but you're one of those persons whose tongue is split.

As soon as they tell you what's on their heart and their brokenness, you go tell somebody else and say, "I'm telling you because I just want you to pray for them." That is absolutely total deception. If you want them to pray for them, then don't tell them what's going on. Don't tell them about their heartaches and their burdens.

Don't tell them about the sin that they've confessed to you. That is not godly. He says this very carefully in this passage. He says, "You who are spiritual," that is you are governed by the Spirit, you're controlled by the Spirit, you want to walk in the Spirit. The Spirit-filled life is your life. That's who you are. You're a spiritually minded person.

Just because you ask a blessing at the table and just because you read your Bible once in a while and you go to church, that doesn't mean you're spiritually minded. You can be dishonest in your business. You can be a flirt. You can be lustful as a devil. All that kind of stuff can be in there.

These other actions look pretty good, but the truth is where is your heart? What are you thinking? When you see somebody, do you look with lust or genuine love toward them? Do you look at who they are or who they can be, and wonder what kind of talents and abilities and skills does this person have?

All of this is involved in who we are. If I'm going to help someone, he makes it very clear. He says, "You who are spiritual," and there's one other word there. He says the right attitude is that of gentleness. Now, what is a gentle person? A gentle person is one who is caring and loving and kind and forgiving and accepting.

If you're a gentle person and you're trying to help someone else, you do not say, "How did you get yourself in that mess?" You're not harsh. You're not in a hurry, but your kindness is supreme above everything else. You don't get in an argument with a person you're trying to help. You can win the argument and lose the person for good.

You don't argue with them, you listen to them. They begin to tell you what's going on in their life. Watch this carefully: they're going to read your response before you say a single word. They're going to look at you in your eyes. You'll reveal what you're feeling. They're going to watch how you respond physically.

If you get anthesy, they're going to think I'd better quit. If you look with shame, they're going to stop. Gentleness is able to accept no matter what. No hurry, no rushing, and not the feeling or the attitude of, "I'm going to fix you, I know how to fix you."

As we come a little bit further along in these verses here, gentleness and the spirit of kindness and acceptance and forgiveness is all through this passage. And so a person who is going to be a burden-bearer of someone else's sin has to have a gentle spirit.

When you and I respond correctly, here's what they do. They start up here telling you about what's wrong in their life. "Oh well, nobody's perfect, everybody has those things." And then the longer you talk and the longer you listen, the more they trust you, what happens is you come off this idea that everybody has mistakes.

Then they tell you a little bit about their past, and then they tell you about what other folks have done to them and how it's somebody else's fault. Finally, when they get down here, they pour out their heart to you. It takes time. If you're in a hurry to bear someone else's burden, forget it.

Restoration doesn't come quickly oftentimes. It doesn't come in a hurry. It doesn't come as a result of an argument. It comes as a result of a Spirit-filled person in the spirit of gentleness and acceptance and of love. When you and I learn the way Jesus dealt with people, we'll be able to deal with them the same way if we're willing.

So there is the whole spirit of gentleness, and then there is also this idea of our own personal preparation. We have to get ready to deal with someone else. How do we do that? The first thing we have to do is we have to come to the Lord ourselves and say, "Father, won't you look at my heart? Anything in my life that ought not be there, I want to deal with it right now. I'm willing to confess it, repent of it, and deal with it. If there's anything I've not seen, God show it to me now."

Secondly, then the best way and the most effective way for me to help that other person is, before I say a word to them, begin to pray for them. "God, speak to their heart. When the right time is there, Lord, that You want me to deal with something in their life, get them ready for it."

Do you think God answers that prayer? Yes. And sometimes He'll answer it in this way: He will intensify the burden in their life. He will intensify the weight of their sin until they feel so desperate that when you come to build a relationship with them, they're open.

They're surprised at themselves how open they are, but they're hurting and it's not getting any better, it's getting worse. Something's got to happen. And what you've done by prayer is just prize the door of their heart open, and then you can look in, you can reach in, and then you can stand in.

Their heart gets opened, but that prayer is very important. If you just go launching into somebody's relationship, more than likely you're going to say the wrong thing and do the wrong thing. Then, of course, there's absolute total dependence upon the Holy Spirit.

It's so important because the Holy Spirit knows exactly the right time to approach that person, and He will lead you. He knows exactly the right time when they are feeling the greatest sense of guilt, when they are feeling the greatest sense of neediness, when they're willing to forget their shame and just open the door of their heart to someone.

When you rely upon the Holy Spirit, He'll give you discernment. He'll show you what to say, what not to say, when to say it, and when not to say it. He'll show you how to respond and how not to respond. Oftentimes the Spirit of God will simply say to you, "Just listen, no response."

It may be at first that you don't say anything to them, you just listen to them. And here's what they're doing while you are listening and they're talking: in their mind, they're gauging, judging, and sizing you up. How do you respond? How deep can they go? How much can they tell you? How much of their sin and all the rest that they don't feel shamed toward you?

All this is going on in their mind and their heart. And so that's why it's so very important that you and I rely upon the Holy Spirit. If we approach someone like that, God will redeem them. Now watch the rest of this passage because what I want you to see is this: he gives us a caution concerning bearing our burdens with others.

He says in the first verse, "Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted." Then notice, "Bear one another's burden and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." In obedience, that's what we're doing because He told us to love each other and help each other.

"For if anyone thinks he's something when he's nothing, he deceives himself." What's that got to do with it? Simply this: when you and I come to a person who is living in sin or has slipped or fallen some way, we are to be reminded that no one is above slipping and falling, no matter who you are.

No matter how spiritual you may be. You see, that's what Satan wants people to think: "I've reached this level of my spiritual life, therefore that can't happen to me." You're just about ready for it to happen for the simple reason that's deception. What he's saying here is this: to some degree it's dangerous.

Once you get involved in somebody's life to help them, Satan is going to attack you. For example, let's say that it has something to do with a person's morality, maybe their sexual past. This person, out of brokenness, absolute desperation, and shame, has to tell you what happened.

Watch out, because Satan will turn that on you if you're not careful. That's why it's in the spirit of humility and dependence upon the Holy Spirit, lest he says, "each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted." Bear one another's burden and thereby fulfilling the law of Christ.

"For if anyone thinks he is something when he's nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work and then he'll have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone and not in regard to another." You say, "Wait a minute, you talked about pride, now you're talking about boasting." Here's what that word means.

When he uses the word for "boasting," it is not a word of pride. He's saying that we should have this attitude: each one examines his own work, our life, what we do, what we've accomplished and achieved in life. Then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone and not in regard to another.

When you look at your life and you see what God has done, you recognize He did it all. You're not comparing yourself with someone else. You're not saying, "They're doing these things and now look what I've accomplished and what I've achieved." It's none of that.

It's recognizing that everything that has come our way and the successes or accomplishments or achievements in your life, it's God. We are boasting of the Lord Jesus Christ and what He's done. He says we'll have reason for boasting in regard to himself, not in regard to another.

That word for "boasting" there is a boasting not of what we've done, but it's a boasting in recognition of what has happened by God in our life. And so therefore, that keeps us from rendering ourselves of no value when it comes to someone who's going through some heartache in life.

Now listen to what he says. Then he says, "For each one will bear his own load, own burden." Well, that sounds like a contradiction because the truth is we started out saying we're going to bear someone else's. But again, it's a different word.

When the Bible says in verse two, "Bear one another's burdens," that's one Greek word. When he says we are to bear our own, that's another Greek word. Here the first word is heaviness and weightiness and things in their life that just weigh us down.

The second word is the word that was used in those days for a marching soldier who had his pack on his back. And that pack was this particular Greek word. What Paul is saying here is this: there are some burdens you and I bear that are our responsibility.

The soldier marching with his friends can't say, "I'm tired of wearing this thing, you wear my pack, you take all this." No, he has a responsibility. For example, let's say that it's time to take your children to school and your car breaks down. Your neighbor says, "I will take your children to school today."

Fine. Does that mean he's going to take them to school every day? No. Does that mean that that person becomes responsible for all the aspects of your family? No. There are certain burdens you and I bear. You have responsibilities in your family as a father or a mother; you cannot give that responsibility to somebody else.

You have responsibility in your job. You give that to somebody else and you'll be looking for one. When he uses that word, it isn't the same weighty, heavy, but it's a load as the soldier marches with his pack on his back. That's his burden, that's his load, he can't give it to someone else.

So there are no contradictions in this passage. This passage is all about us living the kind of life in which the character of Jesus, the conversation of Jesus, the conduct of Jesus is so evident that when we go to a person that we've identified who's going through a burden or heartache, or even if it's a sin in their life, that we're acceptable.

That somehow they can see in you, hear in you, feel in you, having watched you, and they're willing little by little to open the door of their heart. God wants you and me to be used as His earthly liberators in order to help people to be freed from the guilt of their life, things that have happened that have brought them shame, disgrace.

As he says, "If anyone is caught in any trespass, those of us who are spiritual people genuinely, it's our responsibility." This does not mean that you are to go out today and start looking for somebody. A spiritually minded person wouldn't do that.

The Spirit of God will bring into your presence, within your reach, the person or persons He wants you to serve as liberator and restorer from their sin. And that's my prayer for you.

Father, how grateful we are. You're so loving and tender and kind and forgiving and accepting. So redeeming and liberating. And we ask that the Holy Spirit would speak to people today who are lost, living in sinful slavery. They need liberation, restoration.

Pray for believers today, many who don't even go to church because they don't feel accepted. So full of shame and embarrassment and regrets over the past. Help them to see that Your love enabled You to see all the way through that to forgiveness and cleansing and restoration, and a person who can be used by You in the most unusual ways. We love You and praise You and thank You in Jesus' name. Amen.

Guest (Male): Thanks for being with us today for In Touch. If you're carrying a burden, set aside your fear and your pride. And if it's appropriate, share your situation with a godly friend. The Holy Spirit can use other believers in ways you might not expect.

To learn more about why a relationship with Jesus is essential, stop by intouch.org and to listen again, look for the link to today on radio. Connect to our online bookstore if you'd like to order a copy of Dr. Stanley's complete message.

The title is "Bearing Each Other's Burdens." It's also included in his teaching set, "How to Release Your Burdens." Our web address again is intouch.org. Call or text to 1-800-IN-TOUCH. You can write to us at In Touch, Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia, 30357.

Persecution happens on many levels, but God can use those challenges to draw you closer to Him. Encouragement is coming up in today's moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: The peace of God is tranquility and quietness of the soul. It is the assurance that no matter what's going on around us, everything is secure. Peace is not determined by circumstances. Neither is it a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.

Guest (Male): In a world filled with noise and uncertainty, you can discover peace that cannot be shaken. Get your new free booklet, "Peaceful and Still: A Guide to Experiencing God's Rest in an Anxious Age." Visit intouch.org/peaceful.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Let your time and your schedule and everything about you revolve around this, that you and I are to develop and continue to develop this ongoing, intimate, wonderful, exciting, satisfying, indescribable, wonderful, incomparable relationship with a personal God.

Guest (Male): Dr. Stanley devoted his entire life to helping us get closer to Jesus, as we all want to do. You can learn how at charlesstanleyinstitute.org. You're listening to In Touch. God will use all kinds of things to help believers maintain a close walk with Him, including extreme circumstances. Here's a moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Persecution serves as a purifying agent in our life. It's interesting in the 119th Psalm what David said. I go to this verse every once in a while and you probably remember it. Listen to what he says in verse 67: "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word."

Before he was afflicted he went astray. What does persecution do? First of all, persecution gets our attention. And what happens? It drives us to God. And the more helpless we feel, and the more criticized we are, and the more persecuted we are, and the more abused we are—whether it's physical or whatever it might be, a gossip or whatever the attack may be—the more of that we get, it drives us to God.

When it drives us to God, what's one of the first things we begin to look at? We want to look at ourselves and say, "God, what did I do to deserve this?" It may not be anything that you did to deserve it. But secondly, in the process of coming to Him and being drawn closer to Him, what happens is we begin to look at ourselves.

Things in our life that we probably tolerated and didn't think about, they begin to show up. And so we begin to acknowledge that things that ought not to be. Anything that drives us to God is good. Let's say it: good. Anything that drives us to God is good.

You say, "Well, you don't know what's driving me to God." It's still good. It's still good. Either it's got to be good or you don't believe the Bible. So anything that drives us to God is good. So listen, whatever gets our attention has got to be good.

And one of His reasons for allowing persecution in our life is not only to prove our faith, but to purify our life.

Guest (Male): Learn more about the believer's perspective and perseverance at intouch.org. And if today's program has encouraged your relationship with Jesus, we'd love to hear from you.

Tomorrow on In Touch, the greatest weight we carry is the burden of sin, and Jesus sacrificed Himself so He could offer to take that impossibly heavy load from us. Be encouraged when you join us next time for In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. This program is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia, and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.