From His Heart

Dr. Jeff Schreve: How can you experience true financial peace in your heart, in your life, in your home, in your marriage, and in your family? God tells us in His Word. Much in the Bible speaks about our relationship with money. Jesus told lots of parables and in those parables he often would center them around money or use money in the parable because money is part of life. You have to have money to live and so it affects everybody. If you have no money, then you are in serious trouble, and so the Lord tells us how to handle money.

Larry Nobles: Money can create all kinds of problems in your marriage and family and it can lead to materialism, selfishness, anxiety, and family fights. Does that ring a bell in your marriage? This is From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve. Thank you for joining us today as we focus on what may be the source of much conflict in your relationship with your spouse: money, cash, currency, or even credit cards.

Listen, today you'll learn how to enjoy financial peace in a marriage that has, honestly, seen little of that as of late. Today's message, part one of Overcoming the Financial Feud. It's from Pastor Jeff's series, We Are Family. If you missed today's program, you can listen again online anytime at fromhisheart.org. Now, though, open your copy of God's Word to First Timothy as we learn how to overcome the financial feud.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Husband and wife were in a fight, in an argument. It escalated and they said ugly things to one another and then it got so bad that it just got quiet and neither one of them was talking to one another. That went on for the evening and the next morning and the next afternoon and the next evening. For two days they didn't speak a word to each other. Three days they didn't speak a word to each other.

On the evening of the third day, the husband realized he had a flight to catch early in the morning. He was a heavy, heavy sleeper and he needed his wife to help him wake up. He didn't want to ask her because this was a battle of the wills now. He wrote her a note and he said, "Honey, I have a plane to catch at 6:30. Please wake me up at 5:00 AM." He put it by her side of the bed and he went to sleep.

He woke up the next morning and it was 7:30 in the morning. He said, "Oh no, I slept in! She didn't wake me up. I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. This is just crossing the line." When he got up, he looked on his nightstand and there was a little note that said, "Honey, it's 5:00 AM. Wake up." Husbands and wives, all husbands and wives have arguments. They have difficulties, they have fights—not physical fights, but word fights and conflict.

The ideal marriage is not one where you don't have any conflict; the ideal marriage is where you deal with conflict correctly. Somebody has well said the best definition of conflict is "two people." You put two people together and there is going to be, over time, conflict. In marriage, the number one issue that couples fight about is money. They fight about money. How to spend money, how to save money, how to make money. All those different issues involved with money, that is the number one fight in marriage.

It's the number two cause of divorce. Number one is sexual immorality; number two, money issues. Sonya Britt is a researcher at the University of Kansas. She said, "Arguments about money are by far the top predictor of divorce. It takes longer to recover from a money argument than any other kind of dispute." She offers this advice to those who aren't married and start dating: "Find out very soon in the relationship how this other person views and values money. How they spend, how they save money, because their attitude toward money is critical in the marriage."

Now, we're in a series called We Are Family and today we want to talk about overcoming the financial feud. How can you experience true financial peace in your heart, in your life, in your home, in your marriage, and in your family? God tells us in His Word in First Timothy chapter six. Much in the Bible speaks about our relationship with money. Jesus told lots of parables and in those parables he often would center them around money or use money in the parables because money is part of life. You have to have money to live and so it affects everybody.

If you have no money, then you are in serious trouble. The Lord tells us how to handle money. First Timothy chapter six, beginning in verse six. He says, "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many a pang."

There are three admonitions that the Lord gives us from His Word concerning money. An admonition is a loving caution; it's authoritative counsel that God gives us regarding money. How can you experience true peace in your life as it relates to money? Admonition number one: recognize the inherent danger found in money. Money is like a gun. Money is neither good nor bad. A gun is neither good nor bad; it's amoral. You can use it for good or you can use it for bad. Many of us have guns and you use it for good. Other people have guns and they use it for evil.

Money is like that; it can be used for good or it can be used for evil. But everyone knows with a gun you have to be careful with it. If you're going to use it for good, you must be careful with it because it can hurt you. That's the way money is. Now, it says that the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil. Money is not the root of all sorts of evil, but your attitude toward money is. That word "love of money" in verse ten is one word in the Greek: philargyria. It literally means the affection for silver. It's tied to greed and covetousness. You just love money. You want to have more money. You need it.

When I was a kid growing up, we used to like to watch Gilligan's Island. On Gilligan's Island you had Thurston Howell III. He was this rich guy and he went on a three-hour tour and he brought suitcases full of cash. It was kind of crazy, but he did. When he would sleep, he would just think about money. You'd just see him and he's sleeping and he's talking about money. That guy loved money. If I asked you if you loved money, you'd say the right answer is no, so you want to answer no. Many people who call themselves Christians, they would say, "Well, of course I don't love money. I might have some struggles with money, but I don't love money."

Let me tell you something, it is easy to fall in love with money, very easy and not even know that you've fallen in love with money. That's why you and I need to be very careful as it relates to money because there is inherent danger in money. Let's take the love of money test and see how you do. Seven questions. Question number one: do you find yourself thinking about money much of the time? How to get it, how to get more of it, how to spend it, how to save it, how to protect it. Is that on your mind constantly?

Question number two: do you find yourself worrying about money? That there is not going to be enough, worrying someone might steal from you, or that you don't have enough at the end of the month. Question number three: on your job, are you more concerned about how much you make or how well you perform? Question four: do you never seem to have enough money? Do you always wish you had more? Does the thought go through your head, "If I just had a little more, then I could do this. Just a little more and then I could do that."

Question number five: do you love to flaunt your money in terms of expensive cars, houses, jewelry, vacations, or toys? Question number six: does it pain you to part with your money? I mean, when it's offering time in the church, do you just kind of tense up? "They're taking an offering again. I hate it when they do that. I just don't like to." We sing that song, "Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold," and then we hold on to it with all our might. Is that you? Do you hate to give? Does it pain you to part with your money?

Question number seven: do you sin to obtain money? Cheat on your taxes, cheat on your expense report, lie, steal, or commit some act of immorality to get money? If you search your heart and a lot of yeses come up in that quiz, then without you even really understanding and knowing, you have fallen prey to the love of money. It opens the door to all sorts of evil. Jesus said no one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or hold to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. So we've got to watch out because it's easy to fall prey to the love of money.

Larry Nobles: You're listening to From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve today and the lesson, Overcoming the Financial Feud. It's a pattern in some homes, of course, that can cause great stress and separation in family and nobody wants that. Would you like an amazing family, a happy family, a family of peace? Sure you do. But how can you have that and raise children in the fear and admonition of the Lord?

This month we're talking about families and this particular series, We Are Family: seven lessons that share practical and timely messages on how to navigate the obstacles we face as parents, spouses, and children in an age of technology and ever-changing secular culture. You can get a copy of this practical and helpful series when you go online to fromhisheart.org and click the "listen" link. You can also get it in the format of your choice.

Listen, God's design for family is under attack and it's time for Christians to stand up and fight for their family. We hope you'll go there today; go to fromhisheart.org. Now let's get back to this critical lesson called Overcoming the Financial Feud.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Not only is it easy to fall in love with money, it is foolish to fall in love with money. Why? Because money can't satisfy. Money is something that we need, but money is not the be-all and end-all. Money doesn't solve problems; money doesn't satisfy the longings of the human heart. Solomon, who had more money than anyone who has ever lived, said this: "Those who love money will never be satisfied with the money they have. Those who love wealth will not be satisfied when they get more and more. This is also senseless. It's vanity. It's chasing after wind. It's meaningless to go after money because money can't satisfy."

Money is a lot like saltwater. If you are thirsty out in the middle of the ocean, stranded out in the middle of the ocean in a boat somewhere and you're dying of thirst, the last thing you want to do is drink saltwater. The old famous little phrase of the person dying out in the ocean: "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink." You can't drink saltwater because saltwater doesn't quench your thirst; saltwater makes you more thirsty. Money is like that. God didn't set it up where that would solve your problems and satisfy your soul. "He who loves money will not be satisfied with money."

Some of the wealthiest men who ever lived had some interesting things to say about money. W.H. Vanderbilt, the shipping and railroad tycoon, was a multi-multi-multibillionaire in today's money. He said, "The care of 200 million dollars is enough to kill anyone. There is no pleasure in it." Most of us would think, "Man, 200 million in the 1800s was really something and you don't get any pleasure out of that?" He said, "No, no pleasure at all." John Jacob Astor, the fur trader who was a multibillionaire, said, "I am the most miserable man on earth." Your billions aren't giving you satisfaction? No, because they can't satisfy. It's saltwater.

Andrew Carnegie, the steel baron, said, "Millionaires seldom smile." Henry Ford, the automobile tycoon, said, "I was happier when I was doing a mechanic's job." Money doesn't satisfy. It's easy to fall in love with money, foolish to fall in love with money because money doesn't satisfy. And then it's important for us to remember it is devastating to fall in love with money. Easy to do, foolish to do, devastating to do. Look what it says again in verses nine and ten: "But those who want to get rich—" Some people think it's okay to want to get rich. A friend of mine said one time, "I know there's nothing wrong with wanting to get rich." First Timothy 6:9 says "those who want to get rich."

It's okay to be rich. God is okay with that. God blessed Abraham; Abraham was a wealthy guy. But Abraham wasn't trusting in riches; he wasn't looking at riches to satisfy him. You have some people who are very poor and they love money; some people who are very rich and they don't love money. It has nothing to do with how much you have; it's an issue of the heart. Verse nine says, "But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many a pang."

Pierced themselves. That's a picture of an animal on a spit. If you've ever seen a pig being roasted, they run the spit all through the pig. He's not talking about having a splinter in your finger; he's talking about having a stake run through you. You pierce yourself with many a pang, with many sorrows, with many distresses. That's for those who love money and those who want to get rich. I like how it says that you fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. The word for "plunge" literally means to sink into the deep, to drown.

That's what the love of money does. The desire for riches makes you sink into the deep. The very first admonition to all of us: recognize the inherent danger found in money. Second admonition: learn to be content in the Lord and His provision. You find your contentment and satisfaction in the Lord and His provision. Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink. That's money; it's not going to satisfy you. The one who will satisfy you is the Lord Jesus Christ. Solomon said in the book of Ecclesiastes, "For who can eat and who can have enjoyment without him? No one, because he is the source of satisfaction."

Look at verse six. He says, "But godliness actually is a means of great gain." He's talking in verse five about the false teachers who use religion to try and get money and fake godliness to try and gain money. He says, "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when it's accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content."

Contentment is defined this way in the Greek: it's a mind contented with its lot, satisfied with its lot in life. It's sufficiency in the necessities. "If we have food and covering—" and covering would be for your body and also shelter. "If we have those things, we have the basics, then with these we shall be content." We don't need any more than that. But so many of us think, "Yeah, but I've got to get this, and I've got to get that, and I've got to get this other."

Let me give you some practical advice to help you find your contentment in the Lord. Paul said that in Philippians chapter four. He's in prison in Rome and he said, "I've learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself in. I know how to get along with humble means and I know how to get along with plenty. In any and every circumstance, I've learned the secret of having an abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Because Jesus is the one who gives me contentment and satisfaction.

How do we focus ourselves so we can see the Lord and get our satisfaction in Him and not be distracted by so many other things and not let the love of money get into our hearts? Number one: stop comparing yourself to other people. We all tend to have trouble comparing ourselves to other people. You know what Facebook is? Facebook is people comparing themselves to other people. In Facebook, it's somebody's highlight reel. They show you, "Oh, we're going here and we're doing this and we're doing that," and you look at your life and you think, "We never go anywhere."

"I went to the convenience store." You don't put that on Facebook. "Man, we had a big date. We got something at the convenience store." That doesn't go on there. It's somebody's highlight reel. But Facebook is not real. I have 5,000 friends on Facebook. I don't have 5,000 friends. I don't know 5,000 people. But they're my friends on Facebook. Sometimes somebody comes up and says, "You know, we're friends on Facebook." I say, "Oh, hi friend." I mean, I've never met you before.

It's not really real. You believe all these things you read and then you compare your life to the highlight reel and you say, "I'm getting ripped off here." Stop comparing yourself. Comparison does one of two things, both are bad. It'll either make you proud—"Hey, I'm doing better than you are"—or it'll make you depressed—"Oh, you're doing better than I am." God says don't do that. Keep your eyes on me.

Stop comparing yourselves to others and, secondly, stop focusing on what you don't have. When we start comparing, then we see all the things these other people have and then we kind of look at what we don't have and then we feel like we're getting ripped off and then we're discontented and dissatisfied. "My house isn't as good as their house. My car isn't as good as their car. My clothes aren't as good. My vacations aren't as good." Stop focusing on what you don't have and start thanking God for what you do have. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.

Larry Nobles: True contentment with your finances can only really start with a genuinely thankful heart for what God has already provided for you. We're learning about that today in part one of the message, Overcoming the Financial Feud. It's from Pastor Jeff's series, We Are Family. As we've been reminded of today, money can create all kinds of problems in your marriage and family and it can lead to materialism and selfishness and anxiety and fighting.

Would you like to have financial peace in your family all the time? We'll have part two of this message tomorrow where you can learn about that. As we've said, this lesson is one of seven in the series We Are Family. Find out about that when you go online to fromhisheart.org and click the "listen" link. You can also get it in the format of your choice. Listen, God's design for family is under attack and it's time for Christians to stand up and fight for their family. We hope you'll go there today; go to fromhisheart.org.

When you're there this month, we'd like to ask you to consider an exceptional gift to From His Heart. As we're in the last month of our fiscal year, we are hoping to expand into more stations nationwide and actually around the world this year. But we are listener-supported, praying that God would prompt your heart to join us to make up a sizable funding gap for this fiscal year. For your gift today, we'll say thanks by sending you Pastor Jeff's new four-lesson series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. It's our thanks to you for supporting From His Heart. We'll also include the booklet, "I Still Do," from Pastor Jeff and his wife, Debbie.

It's our thanks for you joining this mission to reach the world. To get yours, call 866-40-BIBLE or go online to fromhisheart.org. I'm Larry Nobles with a sincere invitation for you to be with us tomorrow for part two of Overcoming the Financial Feud. That's on Wednesday, when again we'll open up God's Word and share real truth, real love, and real hope from His heart.