From His Heart

Guest (Male): Parenting is a lot harder today than it was 15 years ago because technology has exploded and the things that we deal with today we didn't deal with 15 years ago, much less 30, 40, or 50 years ago. So how are we to live? How can we be a good parent in these days?

God has something to say in His word for the struggle that we feel as we live in this world as we deal with technology.

Larry Nobles: This is From His Heart, the broadcast ministry of Pastor Jeff Schreve, and thank you for joining us today for a message that will strike a chord in all the hearts of those who have children and grandchildren and smartphones. Because technology, while sometimes good, can bring great discord to a family, to a child's mind and heart in the way that they live, love, and dream. It can be a nightmare.

The message today is entitled "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones." We'll have part one today and part two tomorrow. This is the last message in Pastor Jeff's seven-lesson series, "We Are Family." This series has spoken to critical issues that families face and practical needs that families have.

You can find out more about this series when you go to fromhisheart.org. You can listen to any broadcast that we've already aired and click the listen link at fromhisheart.org. Again, the series is "We Are Family." Right now, though, let's hear the down and dirty about technology and what to do about it. Here again is Pastor Jeff with part one of "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones."

Dr. Jeff Schreve: I hold in my hand a little device known as the iPhone. The iPhone was introduced in 2007. It instantly became a gigantic hit and it launched the age of smartphones. Most of us have one of these. It is estimated that 77% of Americans have some kind of a smartphone device. 75% of teenagers have one of these, an iPhone or an Android or some kind of a smartphone.

Now, these devices, we'd all have to agree, have changed our lives. In some instances, they've changed it for good, but in other instances, they've changed it for the bad, and they have made a huge change in our teenagers. Research today shows that teens are more anxious, more depressed, and more suicidal than ever before. One researcher was looking at teen suicide and he said he saw a spike beginning in 2007, the same year that the iPhone came on the market.

When the iPhone came on the market, Facebook had started in 2003 and 2004, and then you have all the social media things. Twitter, I think, was 2010. MySpace was big; that began in 2006. Then you had Instagram, Snapchat, and all these social media things. No doubt that began a lot of comparisons where people would begin to compare themselves with others and live and die by likes, followers, and comments. It's created a major change in our world, in our schools, and in our homes.

Needless to say, parenting is a lot harder today than it was 15 years ago. Being a kid growing up is a lot harder today than it was just 15 years ago. God has something to say in His word for the struggle that we feel as we live in this world as we deal with technology.

In Ephesians chapter five, I'll begin reading in verse 11. The scripture says this: "And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them, for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light."

For this reason it says, and he's probably quoting from an early first-century hymn: "Awake sleeper and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil." Let's make a paraphrase of verse 15 and say this: "Therefore, be careful how you parent, not as unwise parents but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil."

When it says to be careful, that word means to look diligently. Watch very carefully how you walk. Watch very carefully how you parent. Being a parent is a great blessing. Children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. But it's also a great responsibility. Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of the time. Why? Because the days in which we live are evil.

Paul wrote that when he was imprisoned in Rome between 60 and 62 AD. That's when Ephesians was written, and it was a bad time when Paul wrote it. It is so much more an evil day in which we live today than even what Paul lived back in the first century. You say, "Well, why do you say that?" Because of what Paul wrote in his last letter to Timothy, the last letter he ever penned.

In chapter three, he said this in the Easy-to-Read version. I like that version because it puts it in the vernacular. Second Timothy 3:1 says, "Remember this: there are some terrible times coming in the last days." I believe we're living in the last days. "People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud and boast about themselves. They will abuse others with insults. They will not obey their parents. They will be ungrateful and against all that is pleasing to God. They will have no love for others and will refuse to forgive anyone.

They will talk about others to hurt them and will have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. People will turn against their friends. They will do foolish things without thinking and will be so proud of themselves. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure. They will go on pretending to be devoted to God, but they will refuse to let that devotion change the way they live. Stay away from these people."

These are the last days; that's what it's going to be like. I believe that we're living in the last days, and so we are to make the most of our time because the days are evil. We want to talk today about how you walk as a wise parent as it relates to technology. Technology has exploded in the last few years. Things come out new all the time. The things that we deal with today we didn't deal with 15 years ago, much less 30, 40, or 50 years ago.

How are we to live? How can we be a good parent in these days? Something that's very important to remember is the goal of parenting. God tells us what the goal of parenting is in Malachi 2:15. Didn't God create you to become like one person with your wife? Yes. And why did He do this? It was so you would have children and then lead them to become God's people.

The goal of parenting is to raise your kids to know the Lord, love the Lord, and walk in the ways of the Lord. That's the goal. Now if you do anything other than that, maybe you say, "Well, my goal in parenting is to get my kid a good scholarship." There's nothing wrong with that, but if that becomes the goal, that is wrong because God never says anything about that. He says you want them to be godly, to be God's people, to love the Lord, walk in the light, and be the examples that He wants them to be.

How do we do that? What does it take to be a smart, wise parent and raise godly kids? I want to share with you three insights. The first one is an overview, and the second two will deal specifically with smartphones and technology. First insight: smart parents start early. They start early in their parenting. You don't wait until your kid is able to walk and talk before you start parenting. You start from the womb.

From the womb, smart parents model a genuine walk with Christ. It is so important to live it out before them. Evangelism is really as much caught as it is taught. How does a kid come to know Christ at a young age? A huge part of it is when they see Jesus real in mom and dad. The Apostle Paul said to the Corinthians, "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ." Just watch me; do what I do.

Have you ever noticed with little kids that they find it fun to put on mom's shoes or dad's shoes? You have these little feet in dad's big shoes and the kid likes to walk around like that. Our kids did that and it was funny. Why do they do that? Because they want to put their feet where mom and dad put their feet. Your kids are watching to see where you're walking and how you're walking.

Them wearing your shoes is just a little picture of what's really going on in their hearts. Here's a question that I ran across this week: would you be pleased or displeased as a parent if your son or daughter had a relationship with Jesus just like you have? That's convicting. Because if the answer is, "No, I don't want them to have a relationship with Jesus like I have, I want them to have so much more," then the question is, why don't you have so much more?

The poem that I heard from John Wooden so many years ago in an interview continues to resonate in my heart, especially as we talk about family in this series. "No written word, no spoken plea can teach our children what they should be, nor all the books on all the shelves. It's what the parents are themselves." That's the very first thing: smart parents start early and they live a godly life so their kids can follow in their footsteps. From the womb, you begin that. Secondly, from the womb, we teach our children that God is good.

Larry Nobles: God is so good. More on that in just a moment from Pastor Jeff Schreve on From His Heart today and part one of the lesson "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones" from the series "We Are Family." You can listen to this again when you go to fromhisheart.org or pass the link along to some other families who are concerned about what smartphones are doing to their children.

From His Heart Ministries exists to boldly share God's word to the world. That's the call that God has placed on Pastor Jeff's heart and your partnership is what makes it possible to answer that call every single day. Here's why your gift right now is so important. June 30th marks the end of our financial year at From His Heart and we've not yet secured enough support this month to fill that significant financial gap we have. We would like your help.

Pastor Jeff receives no income from this ministry. He is strictly a volunteer. So would you consider a helpful gift this month so that we can fill that gap and continue to move forward next year on solid financial footing? We hope so. With that gift, we'll say thank you by sending you Pastor Jeff's series "Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way" that we aired earlier this month.

When you send that gift, we'll send you the series along with the companion booklet "I Still Do" from Pastor Jeff and his wife Debbie. You can make that gift when you call 866-40-BIBLE or go online to fromhisheart.org. Well, now let's conclude part one of the message "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones." Here again is Pastor Jeff.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: God is a good God. Exodus 34 gives God's resume. God speaks of Himself when He appears before Moses and shows Moses the backside of His glory. "The Lord, the Lord God." There's no other. The Lord is the only; He is God. He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness and truth, who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression, and sin, yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity, the twistedness of sin, on the children and the grandchildren to the third and fourth generation.

God shows lovingkindness to thousands. He is skewed to the good. He visits the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the grandchildren to the third and fourth generation. There's such a disparity between God's goodness versus the costs of sin and the consequences of sin that go through a family. God is a good God. We need to teach our kids from the womb that God is good, you can trust God, and God loves you.

God is always good. If you follow God, He's not going to lead you into a ditch. He's not going to lead you off a cliff because God is good and His will for you is that which is good and acceptable and perfect. I can trust a God like that. When I don't understand and God says to do something in His word and I think, "Lord, that doesn't sound right, I don't think that would be good for me," I say, "But God, You know best."

It's kind of like Peter when the Lord said to him, "Peter, let down your nets in the deep water for a catch." Peter said, "Lord, we've been fishing all night and caught nothing. Now is not the time to fish. Last night was the time to fish. There are no fish here, Lord. But at Your bidding, I will do it." Because You said to do it, I'll do it. It doesn't make sense to me, but You said it. It's a big deal to let down the nets. He's not talking about throwing out a line; those nets were huge.

When he did it, he caught so much fish that it began to sink his boat. You do what the Lord says because God is good. God knows things that you don't know. He sees the end from the beginning and you can say, "Lord, because You love me, because You're good, because You have nail scars in Your hands to prove how much You love me, I'm going to do what You say."

Teach your kids that God is good. Second Chronicles 7:3 says, "Truly He is good, truly His lovingkindness is everlasting." Now, that is going to be really important when it comes to talking about technology and your smartphone. God is going to say some things that directly impact this where you say, "I don't know about that." But we know that we can never go wrong doing what God says.

From the womb, we model a genuine walk with Christ. From the womb, we teach our kids that God is good. From the womb, we make the most of our opportunity. You only have your kids in your home for so long. As it says in Psalm 127, a child is like an arrow in the hand of a mighty man. They are like arrows. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. That arrow was a crooked stick and when you take that crooked stick and begin to shape it and sharpen it and polish it, that's what a parent does with a child.

Foolishness, the Bible says, is bound up in the heart of the child. They come in foolish. The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. The job of a parent is to take advantage of the opportunity before them. Look at it again in verse 15: "Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil."

In many translations, the word "time" is translated "opportunity." Making the most of the opportunity that you have with them. Opportunity is an interesting word. In Latin, it's opportunitas. It means "toward the port." It was used in sailing. It would say that the captain of the ship would check the wind, the tide, and the current and he would set the sail toward the port, toward where he was going. He'd take advantage of the opportunity that he had.

A wise parent takes advantage of the opportunity and sets his sail toward the goal. And what is the goal? To raise up a child who knows the Lord, loves the Lord, and walks in the light with the Lord. That's the goal of parenting. That's what you set your sail for. That's what I want for my life and that's what I want for my kids. You start that early.

You say, "Well, Jeff, my kids are already in high school and I haven't started that yet. What do I do? I throw up my hands and say I'm a loser. Why didn't you preach this sermon 15 years ago?" Somebody said that to me the other day. I said, "You know what, I preached that 15 years ago. I really did. I pulled it out of the file and just dressed it up a little bit."

What do you do? There was a sign in the nursery at the plant and tree store and it said this: "The best time to plant a tree was 50 years ago. The second best time is today." You can't go back in time. So start early, and if you missed the early start, then start now. Smart parents model Christianity, teach that God is good, and make the most of the opportunity.

Second insight: smart parents recognize the danger in smartphones. A smart parent is going to recognize that this little thing has a lot of inherent danger. Somebody said, "Well, is this phone bad?" It's not necessarily bad. It's not necessarily good. It's neither good nor bad; it's what you do with it. Smartphones are powerful things. Someone was asked that question and they said, "It's powerful."

When I got my license at 16, I got a car. It was a light blue 1971 Toyota Corolla. Four on the floor. It went zero to 60 eventually. That's what I had. I would go places where my friends would be. Mr. Gatti's was a big hangout in Houston when I was in high school and I would park somewhere else and walk because I didn't want them to see that that's Shreve's car. It was an embarrassing car.

But I dated a girl in high school, Lisa. Her first car was a 1978 Trans Am. That's what she got. When we would go out, we would take her car and she would let me drive. I still question the sanity of her father, but anyway, she let me drive. That thing, the Burt Reynolds Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am, that thing would get up and go. You just floor it and you would spin and spin and spin.

The only way I got a scratch in my 1971 Corolla is if I keyed it. That was the only scratch. This smartphone is not a 1971 blue Toyota Corolla. It's a Trans Am. It's a Maserati. It's a Ferrari. That thing will take you anywhere in the world. The things that you can see and hear and read about are endless with a smartphone. They are powerful things.

Because they are powerful things, they can get you into terrible trouble. Serious trouble can come through this little device. When we talk about smartphones, we're also talking about computers and tablets, but we don't really carry a computer or tablet in our pocket. This is the thing that goes with us. It has access to the internet and all social media, and it can get you into terrible trouble.

Larry Nobles: This has truly been an important warning and admonition to Christian parents everywhere to take very seriously the potential danger of unsupervised usage of smartphones with our children. Pastor Jeff will detail practical things that you can do to safeguard the hearts of your children next time as he continues describing "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones." Be with us then.

We also pray that the message challenged you today and that you will be a fighter for the faith and stand firm in your convictions for Christ. For your fiscal year-end gift today to From His Heart, we'd like to send you Pastor Jeff's series "Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way" and Pastor Jeff's booklet "I Still Do," written with his wife Debbie.

Just pray about what God would have you give to support us this month and we would love to send you the series in the format of your choice. Call 866-40-BIBLE or go to fromhisheart.org. Well, our time is up for today, so thank you for joining us on From His Heart. I'm Larry Nobles, hoping you'll be back tomorrow for part two of the lesson "Smart Parenting in the Age of Smartphones." Join us then when Pastor Jeff Schreve will open up God's word and share real truth, real love, and real hope from God's heart here on From His Heart.