From His Heart

Dr. Jeff Schreve: One mother of preschoolers, stressed out, was asked by her friend, "Hey, if you could do it all over again, would you still have kids?" She said, "Yes, I would. But not these." That can be hard for us.

There are challenges involved in parenting. Nobody's got it all figured out. We're all learners in this thing called parenting. But here's the good news: God wants to help us. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to meet the challenge. He says, "I have grace to help you to do this."

Guest (Male): The Bible says we're to train up a child in the way he should go. But what exactly is that way? Welcome to From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve. Thank you for joining us today, where we're going to learn about the multifaceted challenges of bringing up kids, with a lesson from the series Modern Family: God's Wisdom for Today's Families.

Today's lesson is called The Challenge of Parenting. If you can't be here for the entire broadcast, please go online to fromhisheart.org and click the listen link to listen again, or download a free MP3 of the broadcast, as well as Pastor Jeff's sermon outlines. Right now, though, open your Bible to 1 Samuel chapter 2, as he explores how to accept the challenge of parenting and excel in it.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: I don't know about you, but I like to do puzzles. I like to get the paper in the morning and do the jumble, the crypto-quote, and the crossword puzzle. I like word puzzles. The thing about puzzles—the reason that many of us like to do them—is that they're a challenge.

You look at that empty crossword puzzle or whatever it might be, and you say, "This is a challenge. I'm matching wits with this puzzle and this guy that put this thing together, and I'm going to beat this." Puzzles are a challenge; that's why we tend to like those.

If you like challenges, parenting is for you. Parenting is filled with challenges. Any parent in here would say it's kind of a challenge to be a parent. We're in a series on the family called Modern Family. Today, we want to talk about the challenge of parenting.

As we've been saying in this series, kids are wonderful. Kids are awesome. It's the blessing of the Lord that gives us children. Children are a blessing from God. But kids, although they're a great blessing, are also a great source of stress, difficulty, blood, sweat, and tears. But kids are wonderful.

The scripture tells us as we do this thing called parenting, or this thing called grandparenting—and a lot of grandparents are now serving as parents because of difficulties in broken homes and things like that—sometimes you can think, "Man, I'm too old for this."

What is the job of a parent? Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it." That's our challenge as parents: to train up our children, to bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord.

But it's not easy. There are challenges involved in parenting. Nobody's got it all figured out. We're all learners in this thing called parenting. But here's the good news: God wants to help us. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to meet the challenge. He wants us to conquer the puzzle, so to speak. He says, "I have grace to help you to do this."

Today in our series, we're going to look at a pastor's family. The pastor's name was Eli, in the book of 1 Samuel, chapter 2. He's an example of what not to do as a parent. He's a priest, the high priest, a judge in Israel. He's the big dog, spiritually, and he's a bust as a parent.

Just a bust as a parent. But there are lots of things that we can learn through his story and through his family about parenting. 1 Samuel, chapter 2, beginning in verse 12: "Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord."

And the custom of the priests with the people: when any man was offering a sacrifice, the priest's servant would come along while the meat was boiling with a three-pronged fork in his hand, and he would thrust it into the pan or kettle or cauldron or pot. All that the fork brought up, the priest would take for himself. Thus they did in Shiloh to all the Israelites who came there.

That was the custom of the priest. That's what they were supposed to do when it came to offering. They came to the boiling pot, they took their three-pronged fork, they thrust it in, and they pulled up. Whatever was on the fork, that was theirs. That was proper. That was right.

But watch what these guys did in verse 15: "Also before they burned the fat, the priest's servant would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, 'Give the priest meat for roasting, as he will not take boiled meat from you, only raw.' And if the man said to him, 'They must surely burn the fat first, and then take as much as you desire,' then he would say, 'No, but you shall give it to me now. And if not, I will take it by force.'"

Thus the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for the men despised the offering of the Lord. The challenge of parenting. We're going to go through the lives of Eli and his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, and find out what God wants us to do and learn lessons from this guy who was a bust.

What are the challenges? Let me give you three. Number one: there is the challenge of leading your children to Jesus Christ. The number one challenge is leading your kids to the Lord. In the story that we just read, we find out right off the bat that Eli's sons were worthless. Literally, what that says is they were sons of Belial.

Belial is a term that's used in the New Testament, 2 Corinthians chapter 6, to refer to Satan. 2 Corinthians chapter 6 says, "What has in common light with darkness, or Christ with Belial?" It's a contrast: Christ with the devil. Basically, the scripture says that Eli had two sons who were little hellions. They were sons of the devil, so to speak.

They were lawless. They were wicked. They were worthless. They did terrible things. Daddy Eli is high priest. He has sons. His sons are in the priesthood. These guys have absolutely no regard, no respect, and no fear of God. The scripture that we read says how they would take things. They didn't want boiled meat; they would take things raw.

Those things that they would take, those sacrifices that they would take when the people would come to sacrifice—that was God's. They were basically taking the choicest of the animal sacrifice for themselves. And the people would say, "No, we've got to burn the fat off first. We've got to give the offering to God."

They said, "No. And if you don't give it to me, I'm going to take it by force." It's serious business when you start messing with what belongs to God, and these guys were doing that. The Bible says they had no regard for the Lord. Verse 17: "Thus the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord."

It was serious business, for they despised the offering of the Lord. They spurned his offering. They blasphemed his offering. These guys are doing something crazy here because God is a consuming fire. It's a terrifying thing, the scripture says, to fall into the hands of the living God.

Here they are, basically playing chicken with a tornado. They're saying, "We don't care about you, God. We're going to do what we want to do. We're going to do what's right for us." They're sons of the pastor doing this kind of stuff. Why in the world would anyone do that, much less the sons of Eli the high priest?

The only church they had there was there in Shiloh, and the people would come there. That's where the Ark of the Covenant was that Moses built, that had the Ten Commandments, the rod that budded, and the manna from the wilderness. That Ark that Indiana Jones was looking for is right there, and that's where they would come.

These guys are doing terrible, horrible things, and they're in the ministry. We're going to find out in verse 22 that they would even seduce the female greeters and commit adultery with them right there at the Lord's house. Wow, serious stuff. How in the world did they get like that? What happened?

It tells us in verse 12 that they did not know the Lord. They were worthless men, sons of Belial, who did not know the Lord. What is the challenge of parenting? To lead your kid to Jesus Christ. God wants you to teach Jesus to your kids.

When we brought our baby home, when our baby entered the world, our hearts were so full. It was just so awesome. I can remember when Jill was born and we took her home. Somebody put a little stork in our yard, "It's a girl," and everybody was so excited. You just have this beautiful little bundle.

You just think, "Can anything be more sweet, more precious, and more wonderful than a brand new baby? More innocent than a brand new baby?" We all feel like that. But let me tell you something: that little bundle that we took home was a little sinner. She was, and the little bundle you took home, whenever you took it home, was a little sinner.

Because the Bible says in Psalm 51, David said, "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." I was brought forth with a sin nature. I might be sweet, I might be cuddly, and I might smell good after a bath, but I'm still a little sinner. What does a little sinner need? A little sinner needs a Savior.

Guest (Male): That is the key to excelling in the challenge of parenting. If you have children, you have many stories about the pressures and joys. Pastor Jeff will elaborate a bit more on this in just a minute. Jesus told many stories—stories that taught us key lessons that can help us in parenting and so much more.

There were a significant number of them that were based on the use of money. In fact, almost 50 percent. How not to waste money, how we use money is an indicator of our relationship with Jesus and how we prioritize that relationship through how we give.

To that end, Pastor Jeff has produced a new three-lesson series called God and Money: What the Bible Says About Managing Money. It unpacks what the Bible teaches about finances, stewardship, and the heart behind our giving, challenging all of us to consider who is really on the throne of our lives and inviting each of us to be blessed by putting God first in your finances.

This brand-new series is our gift of thanks to you for your support of From His Heart this month of any amount. You can receive the God and Money series on a USB flash drive, CDs, DVDs, or an MP3 digital download. Your choice when you make your gift today by going to fromhisheart.org, or you can call 866-40-BIBLE. That's 866-40-BIBLE.

Thank you for joining with us to share these messages around the world each and every day with your gift. Again, call 866-40-BIBLE or go to fromhisheart.org. Request the new series, God and Money: What the Bible Says About Managing Money. Now, let's get back to part one of the lesson, The Challenge of Parenting.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: I remember talking to a good friend of mine years and years ago. He was in my Bible study class, and he and his wife just had their first baby. They had been married for a number of years before they had their first child. I called my friend Lance and I said, "Lance, man, congratulations. What can we pray for you and Sheila about?"

He said without any hesitation, "Pray that my little girl would come to know Christ at a young age. That's what I need. I need her to come to know Jesus." He recognized that he had a little sinner who needed a Savior. What's the challenge of parenting? To lead your kids to the Lord, so that they're not like Eli's kids, worthless men who don't know the Lord.

Worthless men who don't know the Lord end up doing terrible, horrible things so often. So, you teach Jesus to your kids. You tell them Bible stories, and you pray with them. The Bible says in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 6, "Diligently teach your kids and teach them about the Lord. When you lie down, and when you rise up, and when you go out, and when you sit, just all the time, look for teaching opportunities to teach your kids about the Lord."

Teach them the basic things about the Lord. One of the basic things that Eli didn't teach his kids was the fear of the Lord. They had no regard for God. They thumbed their nose up at God. They shook their fist in the face of God. They said, "What are you going to do about it? We're going to take your offering, and too bad for you, God."

That was kind of their attitude. That's why their sin was so great. They were provoking God to anger and wrath. They didn't have any fear of the Lord. That's one of the things that parents need to teach their kids. When you're teaching them Jesus, teach them the fear of God.

Because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The fear of the Lord is not being afraid of God; it's having a healthy reverence and awe of God. I think of the fear of the Lord kind of like the fear of electricity. We're here and we're under the lights.

Is anyone scared right now being under the lights? Oh, no. There's electricity all around me. What am I going to do? Nobody's scared of that. But you go home and you have to work on wiring. If you have a brain in your head, you're going to make sure the power's turned off before you mess with the wiring. Why?

Because electricity can fry you, that's why. You start messing around with electricity, you can get hurt, and you can get hurt badly. You don't have to be quaking in your boots about electricity, but you don't stick paper clips in the light socket either, because you're going to feel that.

So you have to have a healthy sense of "That is very, very powerful. I can enjoy it, but I'm not going to provoke electricity. I'm not going to do something that's going to cause electricity to come at me and fry me to a crisp." That's kind of the fear of the Lord. It's "Wow, God is God," and you stand in awe of him.

So you teach your kids, teach Jesus to them, and then you model Jesus to them. Those things fit hand-in-hand if you're going to lead your kids to Christ. Remember this old adage: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. That's so true, and it's so true when it comes to your kids' salvation.

You can't decide for your kids. They have to decide for themselves. So you can do everything right as a parent, and your kids still reject Christ. You can lead a horse to water, you can't make the horse drink, but what you can do is make the horse very thirsty.

And the way you make the horse thirsty, the way you make your kids want to know Jesus, is you teach them about Jesus and you model Jesus before them in the way you act and in the way you react. You let them see, "Hey, I'm walking the talk." Not perfectly, because nobody does it perfectly, but genuinely.

And when you mess up, you fess up, you make things right with your kids, and you're going to live this thing out. It makes such a difference. Kids watch their parents. They notice how you act and how you react. Often times, we've heard the old expression, "Actions speak louder than words," and that is so true.

Parents, your kids watch you. My kids watch me. When those pressure times come, they watch you. My pastor in Houston used to say this: "Christianity is not so much how you act; it's not seen as much in how you act. It's seen in how you react. Your life is kind of like a tube of toothpaste."

"When the pressure comes—and we all get in pressure situations—out comes what's inside." And if you're not spending time with the Lord Jesus Christ, if you're not genuine, if you're not really walking with him, and if you're not really seeking him, when you get in those pressure situations, out comes rottenness, unwholesome words, and faithless things.

But when you're walking with God and the pressure comes, then out comes praises, out comes faith, out comes love, and out comes joy. Your kids notice that, and they watch that. No doubt Eli's kids, Hophni and Phinehas, they watched their dad. Eli is the big dog. He's the pastor.

He's the high priest. He's the judge in Israel. He served for 40 years. He followed Samson as judge in Israel, serving in a dual role: judge and high priest. They watched him, and there were lots of inconsistencies in his life. There were lots of things that they thought, "Mhm, that doesn't match up. That doesn't match up. This doesn't match up."

They wanted to see it real, and they didn't see it real. Bible says in 1 Timothy chapter 4, verse 12: "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." So, that's the first challenge.

There is the challenge of leading your child to Christ, doing everything you can to bring your kid to a decision. You can't make them decide, they have to decide themselves, but you can do things to make them thirsty so that they want Jesus. Challenge number two: not only is there the challenge of leading your children to Jesus, but there is the challenge of consistent, loving discipline.

It's not as hard for disciplined people, but very hard for undisciplined people to provide consistent, loving discipline. And if you're a single mom or a single dad and you're not a disciplined person by nature, this is something that you've really got to depend upon the Lord for. This is critical that you meet this challenge, because your kid needs it bad.

And if you're not good with discipline, this is going to be one where it's like, "Lord, this is a weakness for me. You have said in my weakness, make me strong. God, help me in this area." You know, some people are just good with discipline. They're just disciplined folks. My wife Debbie is just a disciplined person.

She's just wired with discipline. Debbie can buy a box of candy and eat like one piece every three or four days. A box of candy is a personal challenge to me. How long will that last? Who's going to win out: me or the candy? I win every time. It's three or four minutes, it's gone.

I'm going to get it over with, I'll be sick now, but it's good going down. She's just better at that than I am, and so it really helps when we're together for parenting. But the challenge of consistent, loving discipline—watch what happens, go to verse 22.

"Now Eli was very old, and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting. And he said to them, 'Why do you do such things? The evil things that I hear from all these people? No, my sons, for the report is not good which I hear the Lord's people circulating.'"

"'If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him; but if a man sins against the Lord, who can intercede for him?' But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the Lord desired to put them to death." Now, you say, "Well, it sounds like he's providing some correction there."

Yeah, you might want to make a note in your Bible like I made in mine in verse 25: a little too late. Too little, too late. It was too little correction, and it was too late. God had already said, "Bam, I'm putting those kids to death, because they've been playing chicken with the tornado. They've been mocking me."

"They've been blaspheming me. They've been taking that which belongs to me, the sacrifice which belongs to me. They're leaders, spiritual leaders in Israel, and they're doing this." God is patient, but God's patience doesn't last forever. God says, "That's it." They didn't listen to the voice of their father, but it was too little correction too late.

Guest (Male): How important it is, not only to teach our children but to begin early. There's much more to learn as we explore the challenges of parenting in this message from Pastor Jeff's series, Modern Family: God's Wisdom for Today's Families. Tomorrow, you can join us for part two.

Today, you heard The Challenge of Parenting, part one. It's from the six-lesson series Modern Family, designed to help families overcome the pressure to explore God's definition of family. To get your copy on CDs, DVDs, or a digital download, or on a USB flash drive, call 866-40-BIBLE. That's 866-40-BIBLE. Or go to fromhisheart.org.

Again, the series is called Modern Family. Well, that's all for part one of the message, The Challenge of Parenting, today. But we trust you'll join us on Tuesday as Pastor Jeff continues to provide solid biblical helps for you and your family. Here's just a little bit of what's next.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: There are challenges involved in parenting. And nobody's got it all figured out. But we have responsibility before God and under God to provide training camp that's going to honor the Lord and please the Lord, and instill in our kids, as best we know how, the fear of God and the salvation that comes only by Jesus Christ.

Guest (Male): We hope to see you then, as Pastor Jeff will speak truth, love, and hope to a lost and hurting world. Remember, no matter what, God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Find out more. Go to fromhisheart.org.