From His Heart

Speaker 1

Today is Valentine's Day all across the usa, so let's discuss some important facts about love and marriage. Here's Pastor Jeff Shreve.

Speaker 2

Listen. God created sex to be pleasurable, and God wants sex to be freely and frequently expressed in marriage.

In marriage, let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife.

Say, does he have a duty to his wife in the area of sexual fulfillment in marriage? Paul says he must fulfill your duty.

Speaker 1

You know, the Bible is very practical on the subject of love and marriage. God really doesn't mince words when it comes to the subject of love and marriage. Pastor Jeff Shreve will not do that today as well.

Thank you for joining us on From His Heart as he presents part two of a timely lesson for Valentine's Day called Love and Marriage. If you missed part one from last time, you can hear it again when you go to fromhisheart.org and click the Listen tab. You can also download an MP3 of this broadcast as well as any broadcast.

Again, go to fromhisheart.org first, though, and open your Bible to First Corinthians. Here again is Pastor Jeff to explore love and marriage.

Speaker 2

Well, if you have your Bibles, please turn to 1 Corinthians, chapter seven. We're in a series on 1st Corinthians entitled "And You'd Think You've Got Problems." And we've been talking about all the problems that were in the church in Corinth.

As you can imagine, when a church has problems, it's pretty common to find issues regarding love and marriage. They had all sorts of problems with that subject, including bad marriages and rampant divorce within the church. Some people in Corinth said, "Well, you know, if you really want to be super spiritual, marriage is a mess. If you really want to be super spiritual, what you need to do is not marry. You need to be celibate." So, they preached that celibacy was the way to be a super saint.

Now, the Jewish Christians in the church had a different mindset. They grew up with the belief that God wants you to get married and have children. In Genesis chapter one, verse 28, God told Adam and Eve, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." If you're not married, you can't fulfill that command, and therefore, you're breaking God's commandment and sinning against Him. So, the Jewish population was big on the idea that you need to get married. Meanwhile, some Christians were saying, "No, no, no, you don't need to get married," and others were suggesting that even if you are married, you should start living a celibate life.

They had all these questions about what to do, and they asked Paul about it. In 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, verse 1, Paul writes, "Now, concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Paul advises, "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again, lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

This I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were, even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. Paul continues, "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

What does God say about marriage and love? There are three truths that I want you to see tonight.

**Number one truth:** Marriage is not for everyone. Paul says it is good to live a celibate life; it is good to be single. He wasn't saying that if you choose anything other than being single, you're really missing the boat. He is saying that some of you think it's bad to be single, but it's good to be single. As a single person, you can give yourself over to ministry and the things of the Lord in a more focused way than a person who is married.

**Second truth:** Marriage is for most everyone. It is good to be married. Some people might think Paul is saying that one is better than the other, but he is saying both are good. It depends on how you are gifted from God. If you're gifted to be single, then being single is good for you. If you're gifted to be married, then being married is good for you. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which he has given you under the sun."

**Third truth:** Marriage is the only legitimate place for physical love. Sexual love is under the confines and protection of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

Sex is like fire, and marriage is the fireplace. There is no good place for you to have a fire in your house except in the fireplace. If a fire is in the attic or in the bedroom, that's a bad deal. The only place you can have fire, and it's a good thing, is in the fireplace, which is marriage.

In church, we often shy away from discussing the sexual relationship in marriage. However, I love what Howard Hendricks, a longtime professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, said: "We should never be ashamed to discuss what God was not ashamed to create." God created sex for pleasure, and the Bible makes that crystal clear. There is even a whole book in the Bible about the pleasures of marital love called the Song of Solomon.

In the Song of Solomon, you have Solomon the king and his wife. Solomon expresses his excitement about his wife in a very poetic way. He describes her beauty in detail, starting from her feet and moving up to her hips, breasts, and hair. He is captivated by her and enjoys what he sees.

God created sex to be a pleasurable experience, and it's all throughout Scripture. Paul addressed the issue of those who wanted to be super spiritual by living celibately in their marriage. He said, "Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

God wants sex to be freely and frequently expressed in marriage. Paul emphasizes that the husband has a duty to fulfill in the area of sexual fulfillment in marriage. When Debbie and I were first married, I would jokingly tell her that I was "reporting for duty" in this area, as it is a biblical command.

When couples come in for marital counseling, one of the first questions I ask is about their relationship in the bedroom. Often, if they are having problems, they will say that nothing is happening there. This lack of intimacy can lead to further issues in the relationship. Paul warns, "Stop depriving one another."

Sometimes couples use intimacy as a weapon against each other, but Paul says that is not how it should be. You do not have authority over your own body; your spouse does. God desires frequency and a free expression of love in marriage.

Ed Young, a senior pastor at Second Baptist Houston, notes that marriages with a good sex life tend to have a special sweetness and connection. In contrast, couples who lack intimacy often feel distant from one another. God created marriage for intimacy and closeness.

When Debbie and I share with family life, we can be more straightforward about these topics. One of the biggest taboos in marriage is that couples often do not talk about the sexual part of their relationship. However, when you start to open up and share with your spouse, it can bring a new level of closeness and intimacy.

People often think that being a good Christian means avoiding certain topics, but God created everything for us to enjoy. The Bible encourages us to fix our hope on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy.

If you're single and content, praise God. If you're single and desire to meet someone, keep waiting on the Lord. God is good and gives you the desires of your heart. For those who are married, you need to follow the example set forth in 1st Corinthians 7. You are supposed to fulfill your duty to your spouse and enjoy your relationship.

I will close with a story about Roger Staubach, the former quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. During an interview, he was compared to Joe Namath, who was known for his sexual exploits. Staubach, who loves the Lord and his wife, said, "I'm probably just as sexually active as Joe Namath, but here's the difference: mine is all with the same woman."

God's way is the best way. Those who go the devil's way will find shame, guilt, and dissatisfaction. But if you go God's way and obey Him, He will bless your relationships.

Speaker 1

Indeed he will. As Pastor Jeff has mentioned today on From His Heart, this really was a practical lesson from scripture for anyone in a marriage relationship. This message was significantly edited for time, but it's available online on CD or MP3 download as a single message. Just go to promisheart.org and click the listen link.

It's also one of 40 messages from Pastor Jeff Shreve in the study of 1 Corinthians. The series is called "And You'd Think You've Got Problems: A Verse by Verse Study of the Book of 1 Corinthians." It's a long series, but it's available online. It'll help you to grow closer to the Lord and also grow closer to your spouse in marriage. In fact, in all aspects of life, it can turn the biggest problems into opportunities for victory.

"You'd Think You've Got Problems" is available when you go to the resource center at fromhisheart.org and request the message "Love and Marriage." You can get this whole series or the individual message in multiple formats. Again, go to fromhisheart.org or call 866-40-BIBLE (866-40-24253). The series "And You'd Think You've Got Problems" and today's message, part two of the lesson called "Love and Marriage," are both available.

This month at From His Heart, we're offering Pastor Jeff Shreve's series "Discernment in the Days of Deception" for your gift of any amount. It's a five-lesson study that will help develop your spiritual antenna to know when the devil is seeking to derail your testimony and relationship with God. It's our thanks for your gift of any amount. To get yours, call 866-40-BIBLE (866-40-24253) or go to fromhisheart.org and request it when you make your gift. God bless you.

Well, on behalf of Pastor Jeff Shreve today and all of us here at From His Heart, I'm Larry Nobles, thanking you for being with us today and trusting that you'll be here next time for the last message in Pastor Jeff's series, "Discernment in the Days of Deception." Join us next time for the critically enlightening lesson "Understanding the Times." That's right here on From His Heart.

Speaker 2

He can heal every scars of from.

Speaker 1

His heart is the listener supported Broadcast Ministry of Dr. Jeff Shrieve speaking the truth in love to a lost and a hurting world. Remember, no matter what, God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Find out more@fromisheart.org.