From His Heart

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Now, God wants to make our marriage, our families very, very good. He wants it to be, on a scale of one to ten, one being the worst, ten being the best, He wants it to be a twelve. God wants you to have a great marriage and family.

And so, we're going to be talking about how to do that, how can you do marriage and family God's way to get in on the blessings that God has for you.

Larry Nobles: Marriage and family life were designed by God to be a source of love and joy and blessing. Yet so many people struggle to find and maintain that joy. Today on From His Heart, Pastor Jeff Schreve begins a brand new series entitled Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. In the first message, "Looking for Love," sharing biblical wisdom on choosing the right spouse, recognizing God's original purpose for marriage, and how your home can be a place of harmony and peace.

So how can you find the right person to marry? Let's begin there. Open your Bible to Psalm 37. Here's Pastor Jeff to teach us what the Bible has to say when we're looking for love.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: To kick off this series, I want to talk to you about looking for love. Some of you immediately with that title, you go to the country and western song, "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places." Well, we're going to be looking for love in all the right places. And I remember my pastor, DeMon Shuck, said to me one day, he had counseled a couple in the church and things weren't going well in their marriage. And he came out and he said, "Jeff, do you know why there's so many bad marriages in the church?" And I said, "No, why?" And he said, "I really think it's because people make a bad choice when they get married. They just don't think it through, they don't get the counsel that they need, and they don't make a good choice."

I told you before when Debbie and I first got married, she made a little cross-stitch. We had it right in our entryway, and it said, "Choose your love, love your choice. Choose your love, love your choice." Well, that is a good word. And so choosing your love, you want to choose the right person. Now, Proverbs chapter 18, verse 22, says this, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." One man in a bad marriage, he looked at Proverbs 18:22 and said, "Yes, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, because he who finds a wife needs all the favor he can get." And that was kind of negative.

But he who finds a wife, the word that's used in Hebrew for find is to happen upon. It's to just come upon that. It's not that you're hunting for a wife, it's you just find a wife as you're walking with God, you stumble upon this wife. It's kind of like finding a hundred dollars on the street if you've ever done that. Maybe not a hundred dollar bill, but maybe you've found a five or a twenty or something like that. And it's just like, "Oh, wow." Well, you didn't go out walking the streets that day hunting money; that's not typical where you find it. You just stumble upon it. He who stumbles upon a wife, chances upon a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

So how do you find that good thing? How do you stumble upon that good thing? How can you find the right person to marry? That's a good question. The answer is simple: by being the right person to marry.

The law of attraction. You're going to attract to yourself somebody that is like you in terms of goals and dreams and desires. And so if you want to marry the right person, you want to make a good choice in marriage, then be the right person.

Now Psalm 37 is not a psalm about finding a wife or finding a husband, but the truths in Psalm 37 speak to all of us in any stage in life, and they really do speak to that person who wants to be married one day.

I remember when I was in college, I was hearing about the rapture of the church, getting excited to hear about the rapture, and then I thought, "Man, that could happen at any moment." And I was thinking to myself, "But Lord, I don't want you to come before I get married, before I have kids." I wanted to have a wife, I wanted to have kids, and so I was kind of torn. I wanted the Lord to come back, but I wanted to have kids. I remember one of my daughters asked me that one time. She said, "Dad, is it bad that I have that desire, you know, and say, 'Well Lord, I want you to come, but I want you to come after I have a marriage and kids'?" And I said, "Well, I had that same prayer to the Lord, that I wanted him to come, but I wanted to experience love and marriage and family." So that's not a bad thing. God knows that we have that desire.

So this is what the Lord says in Psalm 37, and it's a word for all of us today. "Do not fret," verse 1, "because of evildoers. Do not be envious toward wrongdoers, for they will wither quickly like the grass and fade like the green herb. Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in him, and he will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger and forsake wrath. Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land."

Now I want to share with you three encouragements from Psalm 37. Encouragements for all of us regardless of what we're facing. But listen, let's just be honest. When you're a person who wants to be married—I'm not talking about you're in junior high or high school; I'm talking about you're an adult and you want to be married, and you don't see anybody on the horizon, especially for a woman who knows that if I want to be married, I want to have kids, there's a window in there for me—and so it can be a really tense time, it can be a really worry-filled time for a woman like that. I'm going to share a little bit in this message, Debbie and I lived that out with our middle daughter Amy, and so I understand and I have a real heart for ladies especially that are going through that, but guys too. And so this is a great psalm for those who are in that boat. They want to be married, but they're looking high and low and they don't see anybody on the horizon.

So the word of encouragement: How can you find the right person to marry? By being the right person to marry. So three encouragements. Number one, you can trust in the Lord and practice faithfulness.

You can do that. I can do that. We can do that. Nobody's preventing you from trusting in the Lord. Nobody's preventing you from practicing faithfulness. Look at verse 3 again, "Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness."

Now the key word in the Bible is trust. That's a key theme throughout all the Bible. I mean, if you boil it down to two words, what is God's word to us? What does he say to us? What does he want us to do? It would be two words: Trust him. That's what God wants you to do, to trust him, to believe him.

I still remember, I told you when my father-in-law Gerald, who was a pastor—Gerald Cannon, pastored for over fifty years in the Houston area—had that stroke and was in a coma for weeks and weeks and weeks, and we finally woke up and we were able to go talk to him, and by the grace of God he didn't have any brain damage from his stroke. And I said, "Gerald, what has the Lord been speaking to your heart about? What has he been saying to you as you've been lying there?" And he said, "Trust me." He said, "The Lord's been saying to me, 'Trust me, just trust me.'" That is all the Bible as you read it. God is saying, "Now trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me." And you and I can trust him. There's no reason why we can't trust him. He is trustworthy. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Now the Lord is the source of every good gift. Okay, so here you are, we're talking about finding the right person, right? And we're talking about being the right person. And we're talking about this desire in your heart to be married. Well, who has everything that you need? God. He has everything that you need. And so as you get your heart right with him, as you get your life right with him, he's the source of everything. James 1:17 says, "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." Everything that you need, anything that you need in life, it's going to come from God. God is the source of it all. And so trusting in the God who is trustworthy, I just know he can meet my need. Whatever my need is, he can meet my need.

Larry Nobles: What a comforting and powerful truth that is. We'll continue to explore this truth when Pastor Jeff returns in just a moment. He's in his brand-new series about marriage and family. And marriage and family were designed by God to be a place of love and joy and blessing. Too many people are still searching for that joy at home. Today's message is the first one in his new four-part series in Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. This message is called "Looking for Love" that we started today. And in the series, he shares biblical wisdom on choosing the right spouse, understanding God's purpose for marriage, and building a home marked by peace and harmony. And when your home is built on the truth of God's word, it can and will become a place of real joy and lasting blessing.

As a special thank you for your support this month to From His Heart, we're offering his new series along with the companion booklet, I Still Do, written by Pastor Jeff Schreve and his wife Debbie, as our thanks. This is an especially important month for us as we close out our fiscal year, meet our annual expenses, and prepare for the next twelve months on solid financial footing. Would you prayerfully consider making a generous year-end gift today? Call 866-40-BIBLE, 866-40-BIBLE, or go online to fromhisheart.org and find out about getting the series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way, and the booklet, I Still Do. We really appreciate it. Now back to part one of this lesson, "Looking for Love."

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Do you remember in the Gospel accounts where Jesus was asked by Jairus, one of the synagogue officials, "Come to my house, my twelve-year-old daughter is sick to the point of death, time is of the essence, please come with me"? And Jesus set out to come with him. And on the way as he was going to Jairus' house, remember the woman with the issue of blood, she pressed through the crowd to touch the hem of his garment. And then she touched him. As soon as she touched him, she was healed. And Jesus took time with this woman. She had this hemorrhage for twelve years, as long as Jairus' daughter had been alive.

And so as Jesus took time with her, the word came to Jairus, "Don't trouble the teacher anymore, your little girl is dead." And upon hearing that, Jesus said to Jairus, "Do not be afraid, only believe. Just trust me. I have what you need. I am the source of everything." And he raised Jairus' daughter from the dead.

Now as we pray about things, as we look to the Lord about things, we just need to remind ourselves: Any need in my life, he has the supply for that. "All I have needed," that song says, "thy hand has provided, great is your faithfulness." And so I trust him and I practice faithfulness. I cultivate faithfulness. I live out my Christian life day by day by day by day.

It's very important to do that. And so we're not forgetful hearers, as James says. James says, "Don't be a forgetful hearer." The forgetful hearer reads the word or hears the word and then he doesn't do it. It just goes in one ear, out the other. We don't want to be like that. We can't afford to be like that and walk with God. We need to be effectual doers.

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, as he finished up the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7, "Everyone who hears these words of mine and acts upon them, let me tell you what he's like. He's like the man who built his house on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act upon them, he's like the foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rains descended and the floods came and the winds blew and burst against that house, and it fell, and great was its fall. But the guy that built his house on the rock, the rains descended and the floods came and the wind blew and burst against that house, and it did not fall because it was founded on the rock."

So we need to cultivate faithfulness. We need to practice our Christianity and work out the word of God in our own hearts. He's the source of every good gift, and the Lord rewards faith and faithfulness. The Bible makes that clear. God is a rewarder of those who seek him. Hebrews chapter 11, verse 6, "Without faith it is impossible to please him, for he who comes to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him."

Now, we don't seek God for what he can give us. You remember the passage about revival, "And if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face." Not my hand, not what I can do for you, but seek my face. That you want me. When you really want God, then he blesses you. He's a rewarder of those who seek him. But you seek him for the right reasons.

Larry Nobles: You're listening to From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve and today's message, "Looking for Love." All this month, we're going to be learning a lot about marriage and families and how to strengthen them. And it's vital that we do, because as you well know, the spiritual condition of our world and surely American culture is unsettled. Families are suffering, divorce is rampant, and the negative impact in decades to come will come back to roost.

But the good news is that beneath the anxiety and division, many hearts are quietly awakening. People are searching and listening and asking deeper questions, and Pastor Jeff believes God has positioned From His Heart to speak clearly and compassionately into this moment with unchanging truth. And that's why we're boldly asking you to give today to help us to close the sizeable financial gap we have at the end of our fiscal year this month. We want to continue to penetrate hearts and homes and marriages for his kingdom, and your gift will help.

With that gift, we'll say thank you by sending you Pastor Jeff's new four-message series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way, and the companion booklet he wrote with his wife Debbie called I Still Do. To get yours, make your gift, call 866-40-BIBLE, 866-40-BIBLE, or go online to fromhisheart.org and find out about getting the series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way, and the booklet, I Still Do. We really appreciate it. Now back to more of this lesson, "Looking for Love."

Dr. Jeff Schreve: I'm reminded especially thinking about a woman who wanted to be married in Scripture. Her name was Ruth, in the book of Ruth. Ruth was married to Naomi's son, but then he died. And Naomi and Elimelech, in the story of Ruth, they moved from Bethlehem, the house of bread, because there was a famine. They go to Moab. Moab's a terrible place. Moab's a pagan place. And trying to escape a famine, Naomi ran into three funerals. Her husband died and her two sons died. She has two pagan daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth. And Orpah ends up going back to her Moabite family, but Ruth doesn't. Ruth puts her faith and trust in the God of Israel, and she comes back with Naomi.

And they don't have anything. I mean, they're destitute. And in that time, in that world, if you weren't married, you were in a difficult place. And every woman wanted to have children. And so here she is with her needs, and she no doubt brings those needs before the Lord. And then she says to her mother-in-law, "Let me go out and glean in the field. Let me find somebody that I can glean in his field as just a poor person to glean on the edges," because they were required to not harvest the edges; they left those for the poor people. And her mother-in-law Naomi said, "Okay, go."

So Ruth goes out there. She doesn't know where to go. She doesn't know anything. She's a stranger in a strange land, so to speak. But God directs her to the field of Boaz, who's a kinsman-redeemer. And the Bible says she just happened upon Boaz's field. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing," he who just by chance stumbles upon a wife. That's what happened to Ruth. She just by chance found the field of the one guy who was related to Naomi's family, who was a kinsman-redeemer, who was going to end up marrying her.

He's a man of great wealth, a man who is godly and pure, and that becomes her husband. God rewarded her for her faith and her faithfulness. He'll do the same for you. Second encouragement: Not only can you trust in the Lord and practice faithfulness, but you can delight yourself in the Lord.

Delight yourself in the Lord. Now this is connected to trusting in the Lord and practicing faithfulness, but I like the way the Scripture says it in verse 4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." I think that's a verse that every single person who wants to be married should memorize, because that is a promise from God. Now what does it mean to delight yourself in the Lord? That word delight is an interesting word in Hebrew. It means to make yourself soft or pliable. When you delight yourself in the Lord, you're soft in the hands of the Lord.

Now the Lord is—Jeremiah chapter 18—He's depicted as the potter, and we're the clay. Remember, Jeremiah goes down—the Lord says, "Jeremiah, go down to the potter's house and see him working on the wheel." And the Lord says, "Jeremiah, I'm like the potter and Israel is like the clay. Do I not have the right as the potter to make whatever I want out of the clay?" And the answer is, of course you do, Lord. Well, we sing that song, "Have Thine Own Way, Lord, Have Thine Own Way. Thou art the potter, I am the clay."

If you've ever done pottery—I was preaching a sermon once on Jeremiah 18, going down to the potter's house, and so I had a friend of mine who had a pottery shop, this was when we lived in Houston. And so I said, "Catherine, I said, can I do pottery with you? Can you show me how it works so I can understand it as I preach this sermon?" And she said, "Sure." And she spent like two or three hours with me, and we made together this really nice bowl. I still have it today. I show it to Debbie all the time. I said, "Debbie, look what I made." And she said, "You didn't make that." I said, "My hands were there." And it's like, "Yeah, her hands were on top of your hands. You would have made a lump."

She taught me. She said, "Listen, with the clay, very, very important." She made her own clay because potters, as you get up to that level, you kind of make your own clay. And she said, "What's very, very important is that the clay is soft." And if you've ever seen them working on the wheel, they're constantly wetting that clay so it will easily move. So the master potter just puts some pressure on it and it goes in that direction. It doesn't fight the potter.

Now she told me, she said, "Sometimes the clay will get stubborn." And she said, "When the clay is stubborn, the potter has to hurt the clay." She used those words, "hurt the clay," to get it to go in the direction he wants it to go. Well, delight yourself in the Lord means you make yourself soft in the hands of the potter. You're not fighting him. You know, we have God's will and then we have our will. And the battle in your life, my life, every Christian life is, are we going to yield to the spirit or are we going to walk in the flesh? Are we going to do what God wants us to do, or are we going to do what we want to do?

Jesus prayed three times, "Lord, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me, nevertheless not my will but yours be done." And he brought his need, his request to his Father, but he ended that prayer three times, "Nevertheless not my will but yours be done." That's a model for us. We have to come before the Lord, and we bring our needs before the Lord, and we bring our requests before the Lord, and we bring our desires before the Lord, and we end our prayer by saying, "Yet not my will but yours be done." And we choose God's will when we delight ourselves in the Lord.

Larry Nobles: You're listening to From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve and today's message, "Looking for Love." All this month, we're going to be learning a lot about marriage and families and how to strengthen them. And it's vital that we do, because as you well know, the spiritual condition of our world and surely American culture is unsettled. Families are suffering, divorce is rampant, and the negative impact in decades to come will come back to roost.

But the good news is that beneath the anxiety and division, many hearts are quietly awakening. People are searching and listening and asking deeper questions, and Pastor Jeff believes God has positioned From His Heart to speak clearly and compassionately into this moment with unchanging truth. And that's why we're boldly asking you to give today to help us to close the sizeable financial gap we have at the end of our fiscal year this month. We want to continue to penetrate hearts and homes and marriages for his kingdom, and your gift will help.

With that gift, we'll say thank you by sending you Pastor Jeff's new four-message series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way, and the companion booklet he wrote with his wife Debbie called I Still Do. To get yours, make your gift, call 866-40-BIBLE, 866-40-BIBLE, or go online to fromhisheart.org and find out about getting the series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way, and the booklet, I Still Do. We really appreciate it. And we want you to have the series, not only as a resource for your own heart, but as a reminder of what God can do when his people respond. Thank you, really thank you for standing in this moment, help us share God's word. And thank you for joining us today on From His Heart. I'm Larry Nobles inviting you to be with us tomorrow for part two of the message, "Looking for Love." That's on Tuesday when Pastor Jeff Schreve will speak truth, love, and hope to a lost and a hurting world. And remember that no matter what, God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Find out more at fromhisheart.org.