From His Heart

Guest (Male): Lots of people see marriage and they say, I've seen it live in person in my own family. I saw how my mom and dad just fought all the time. I saw how they didn't get along, and there was such bitterness in that relationship, and I saw divorce, and I don't want that at all.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Today we want to look at the fact that God made marriage to be wonderful. The question is, do you understand what God did when he made marriage and why he created marriage? To do that, we're going to go to the very first marriage. We're going to go to the beginning when God created this institution called marriage.

Guest (Male): The institution of marriage was created to be a wonderful blessing, but what God designed and defined has been so distorted and disfigured. This is From His Heart with Pastor Jeff Schreve, and today he'll ask you to answer this question: Do you understand why God created marriage?

The lesson today is called, And It Was Very Good. We look at the three reasons marriage was created to begin with, back in the beginning of creation and Adam and Eve. This lesson is the second in the new four-message series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. It's our gift to you this month for your support of any amount, as this is the last month of our fiscal year. Go to fromhisheart.org and get your copy in the format of your choice. Right now, open your Bible to the second chapter of the book of Genesis. Here's Pastor Jeff to begin the lesson entitled, And It Was Very Good.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: Genesis chapter one gives us an overview of the six days of creation. And Genesis chapter two then drills in, hones in on what happened on day six, when God made the animals, when God made man, and when God made woman.

It says in verse 15, "Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it." Notice Adam got a job before he got a wife. Good formula there; get a job, then get a wife. The Lord God commanded the man saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die."

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him." Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky and brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept, then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. Genesis chapter 1, verse 31, says after God created Eve and brought her to the man and they came together, God saw all that he had made and behold, it was very good. We go from not good in verse 18 to very good.

Why did God create marriage? Three reasons. Reason number one, God created marriage for companionship. Verse 18 of chapter 2 is a shocking verse because in chapter 1, five times we read this: And God saw that what he had made and it was good, and it was good, and it was good, and it was good, and it was good. He starts saying that on day three, then day four, day five, and he says it five times. Then we read it was very good at the end of day six, but we read in chapter two that there was something not good. In the Hebrew, verse 18 begins with "not good." That's how it begins.

The word for good, tov, in the Hebrew means beautiful, beneficial, delightful. You go from beautiful, beneficial, delightful to it's not beautiful, beneficial, and delightful, and then all of a sudden it is very, very much beautiful, beneficial, and delightful. All that came about through the creation of Eve and the first marriage. God knew what he was doing. He created Adam alone and he created him with this unmet need, and he did that for a purpose.

Adam was alone and that was not good. Interesting, in the Hebrew the word for alone is "bad." That's how it's pronounced, bad. It's not good for the man to be bad alone, because it's never a good idea for the man to be alone. My friend Charles Lowery, the psychologist, says anytime you see these guys that go off the rails, the Unabomber or somebody like that, what do you notice about them? They're loners. They're alone. It's not good for the man to be alone.

Here was Adam, just created on day six. He's the crown of God's creation because as God creates everything and all the animals from the dust of the ground on day six, then the Lord said, "Then let us make man in our image according to our likeness." Adam is different from all the other created things because he's made in the image of God. The Lord puts him in this garden that he planted to cultivate it and to keep it. Adam is freshly made. He's an adult. God made him as a mature man and hard-wired him. He had all the software downloaded in his head. He knew how to communicate, he knew what words meant, because he's going to name all the animals.

But he doesn't realize that it's not good that he's alone. So God makes Adam and creates Adam with an unmet need, and he did that on purpose so he could meet that need in Eve and show Adam he had a need. God made a suitable companion for Adam, a counterpart to Adam, someone who would help him. It's not good for a man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable to him. What was Eve's purpose? Why did God create Eve? To be a companion to Adam, to be a helper to Adam, to correspond to him and be a counterpart to him.

Some translations say a suitable companion in verse 18. Some say a helpmeet, some say a suitable partner, some say a companion that is a suitable match, a helper who is right for him. But that word suitable in the Hebrew means a counterpart, the opposite part to him, just like you have a left hand and you have a right hand. They're very similar but they're not exactly the same because if they were exactly the same, your thumb would be over here. You'd look like a weirdo. They're counter-balanced, so they go together, so they fit together. That's what God did when he made Eve.

Eve was made as a helper. Some women don't like that and they say, I don't even like the idea of being a helper, it makes me sound like I'm subservient. You know who's called helper in the New Testament? The Holy Spirit of God. Jesus calls him the helper. When the helper comes. To be a helper, you're equated with the Holy Spirit in terms of title. That's a big deal.

Something else that's very interesting: Everything was created, all the beasts of the field are created including Adam from the dust of the ground. The difference from the beasts of the field versus Adam is because the Lord formed him from the dust of the ground and then breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul. Adam was made in the image of God. The elephants, the lions, the giraffes, they were not. Adam was made in the image of God.

But watch how he makes Eve. He doesn't make Eve from the dust of the earth like he made Adam. He makes Eve from Adam's side. He caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and God performs the first surgery. From his side, he takes flesh and bone, tissue and bone, and from that living tissue he fashions this creature. She's a beautiful creature. She's unlike anything else. She is like him but she's not like him. Adam says, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man."

The Hebrew word for man is Ish, and the Hebrew word for woman is Ishshah. You can just see the excitement there. I'm just Ish but she is Ishshah. He is so excited. When God brings Eve to him, he's like, God, that is it. That's the one I was looking for. I named all these animals and I didn't find anyone that was corresponding to me, but she corresponds to me. She is perfect for me. She's tailor-made for me. He was so excited to receive Eve.

Guest (Male): Pastor Jeff will return in just a moment on From His Heart with the continuation of the message, And It Was Very Good. It's from Pastor Jeff's new four-lesson series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. All this month, Pastor Jeff will be teaching about love and marriage and family, foundational truths that must be present in families to allow them to thrive and be sustained in a healthy way and to glorify God.

What does that look like in your family? It should be like building a structure with Christ as the cornerstone. It was a stone that was specifically prepared and squared off at the corner of the building so that it would project a strong right angle, setting things right for the entire structure. That's the picture of Jesus's rightful role in our homes. Do you want to have a strong family? Give Jesus his rightful place by making him the cornerstone of your life and home. Pray together, give thanks together, teach your children to love the Lord with everything in them as they watch you model it before them. That's how you plant your family on a firm foundation.

This new series from Pastor Jeff is our gift of thanks to you this month for your support of any amount during our fiscal year-end challenge, seeking to fulfill a significant financial gap in our funding for this fiscal year. We'll say thanks for your gift today by sending you the series, Love and Marriage: Doing Family Life God's Way. We'll also include the booklet, I Still Do, from Pastor Jeff and his wife, Debbie. To get yours, call 866-40-BIBLE or go online to fromhisheart.org and request it when you make that fiscal year-end gift. God bless you for being a part of the foundation stone that supports this outreach from which Pastor Jeff receives no income. Now, let's get back to part one of the message, And It Was Very Good.

Dr. Jeff Schreve: First Corinthians chapter 11 says this: "For a man ought not to have his head covered when he's praying because he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man. For indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's." It's going back to Genesis. Who did God create first of human beings? He created the man. How did he create him? From the dust of the earth. He says it's not good that the man is alone, so I'm going to make a helper suitable to him, and from his side he fashions this creature.

She was made to help the man. Help him do what? Well, they're commanded to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. He can't do that by himself. She's got to help him do that. That's just an obvious thing. But she helps him in ways that he's oblivious to. We know this in marriage, that the perspective of a wife is different from the perspective of her husband. It's like driving. There's something known as a blind spot. Can I get over? Sometimes you can't see because your car is blocking it. Somebody can be in your blind spot.

So your spouse, if she's in the other seat, she can look and she says don't go, there's somebody there. She can see what you can't see because she can see into the blind spot. Well, that's just true in a marriage. A husband brings a perspective that the wife doesn't have, and a wife brings a perspective the husband doesn't have, and so she helps him. Obviously he helps her, and they're much stronger together than they are apart.

She is the helper and she is special, and God made her for him. My father-in-law, when he would do weddings, he would often talk about how God created this creature known as woman, Ishshah. He said God took from Adam's side this bone, this flesh, to make woman. He didn't take it from Adam's feet so that he would stomp all over her, so he would lord it over her and dominate her. He didn't take the flesh and bone from his skull so that she would dominate him and lord it over him. No, he took from his side, close to his heart, so he fashioned this creature that would be close to his heart, that would be cherished and loved and protected and provided for. That's what God did when he created a woman. The companionship: Adam needed a counterpart, he needed a companion. So God created marriage for companionship.

Secondly, God created marriage for intimacy and oneness. When the Lord fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Interestingly, when God created Adam, he made Adam. Adam was manufactured, but Eve was fashioned, literally built. God took the bone and the flesh into his workshop and he built this creature called woman. The word Ishshah really means in the Hebrew "soft," and she's a softer version of humanity. That's how God created it.

She's equal to Adam, she's not subservient to Adam. Although she's created to be his helper, she's made in the image of God too. Together they're made in the image of God and together they become one. So the Lord brings her to the man. In family life, we used to say this: the big question as God walks Eve down the aisle is, will the man receive this person from God? The answer is yes, he did. "This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh."

That's a Hebrew idiom. It doesn't sound very romantic, but it was. Adam was excited about this. He's basically saying, that's it, God, that's it, that's the one I was looking for. All those animals, they didn't do it, but she does it for me. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Then verse 24, the commentary on marriage: For this reason, for this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife or cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

The two shall become one flesh. Oneness in marriage, intimacy in marriage. Somebody said, what is intimacy? Intimacy is "into me you see." There's a closeness there. Dennis Rainey, who's written extensively on marriage—he was the president of FamilyLife ministries for many, many years—he said oneness in marriage is a tender merger of body, soul, and spirit. That's what God wants us to have is oneness in marriage.

We used to say this at the FamilyLife conferences Debbie and I would do: every marriage is moving toward oneness or moving toward isolation. You don't ever just stay the same in marriage. You're either getting closer or you're getting further apart. God wants you to be close, he wants you to have this intimacy and oneness, and he wants you to have it in those three areas because the scripture says in First Thessalonians chapter 5, Paul says, "I pray that your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, blameless until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Your spirit, your soul, your body, and God wants you to have intimacy in those three areas.

So let's look at them: spirit, soul, and body. God wants you to have oneness and intimacy spiritually in marriage. He created it for that. In order to have spiritual intimacy in your marriage, you have to marry somebody who is connected to God spiritually, who's spiritually alive. When Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis chapter 3, as the Lord told Adam, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die."

Adam ate from that tree, Eve ate from that tree, and they died, just like God said. But they didn't die in their bodies and they didn't die in their souls. Your soul is your mind, will, and emotions; that didn't die. But your spirit where you know God, that died. Everything changed because they sinned and their relationship with God was broken and they died just like God said they would die. In the Hebrew, it literally says "dying you'll die," and they died in their spirit instantly, progressively in their soul, ultimately in their body, and Adam lived to be 930 years old and ultimately he died.

But they set into motion when they ate of the fruit, death. Sin entered the world because of their sin, and death through sin, so death spread to all men because all sinned. When we receive Christ, we're made alive in our spirit. That's what it means to be born again. You were dead in your spirit, you receive Christ, he makes you alive in your spirit and you have a brand-new life in Jesus Christ.

In marriage, God wants there to be intimacy and a closeness on the spiritual level. What does that tell us? You can't marry somebody that's not a believer and not a growing believer. You just don't want to do that because Second Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers." What fellowship has light with darkness, with righteousness and unrighteousness, with Christ and the devil? What fellowship is there? There's none. So don't marry somebody who is not a born-again believer who is pursuing the Lord, who is wanting to grow in his faith.

People blow that off all the time. They just say, well, I'm in love so I'm going to get married, and they don't realize you're going to miss out on spiritual intimacy because that person's not a believer. If you're a believer marrying an unbeliever, think about it this way: you're a believer, your father is God. You marry an unbeliever, his father is the devil. If a child of God marries a child of the devil, guess what? You're going to have major in-law problems because the devil and God, they don't gee-haw together, and so it's going to be a problem. Spiritual intimacy is critical in marriage. God created marriage so that you would be one and intimate in that important place.

Guest (Male): Listen, if all that has been said today is a foreign concept for you, this loving God and surrendering to him is not something you've heard about or have rejected in the past, this would be a great time for you to visit our website at fromhisheart.org and click the Why Jesus link. There you're going to discover a lot of information from Pastor Jeff Schreve about what it really means to surrender your life to Jesus, why it's vital for you, how your eternity in heaven can be assured and your desire to serve him on this earth will be explained and evident in your life. Plus lots of free material there to help you in your quest for the truth. Go to fromhisheart.org, click the Why Jesus link found on the homepage, and we pray that you'll do that today.

Well, that's all the time we have for From His Heart today. We thank you for joining us and remind you that From His Heart is a listener-supported broadcast ministry of Dr. Jeff Schreve, whose driving ambition is speaking the truth in love to a lost and hurting world. Join Pastor Jeff Schreve next time for part two of the lesson, And It Was Very Good. That's right here on From His Heart.