Fellowship in the Word

Jason Gebhardt: Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functional follower of Jesus Christ.

Bill Gebhardt: What should I do? One would be, why don't I pray to God about this? God tells us this. Remember what God said in Romans 12? He said, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay.' You see that? God knows what is just and what is not just. He says, 'Give it to me. Let me handle this.' Don't fill your heart with hate and anger. Don't fill your speech with all kinds of condemning and horrible words. Don't do that. Just tell me and trust me. I will make sure it is right in the end. That is an amazing perspective for us as a believer.

Jason Gebhardt: Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church, located in Metairie, Louisiana. Let us join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God’s word meets our world.

Bill Gebhardt: Elliot Larson says anger always comes from frustrated expectations. That is why we get angry. By the way, that is what marital conflict is. You get frustrated expectations. I expected more from my wife. I expected more from my husband. I expect you to act. And when you do not get it, you get angry. Then all you have to be is a parent. Wow. If you ever raised someone all the way to being a teenager and you think they met every expectation I could ever have, you ought to patent that. That is amazing.

It is frustrating. It is all part of who we are. We have these unmet expectations. I expect to be treated by my government in a certain way. I expect to go to the hospital and be treated in a certain way. And when I am not treated the way I expect, I get frustrated and I get angry. He said that is what ends up happening and that is what James says. James goes on and he says you lust and you do not have. Now, watch. So you commit murder. What? He is writing to a church. So they got mad at each other and they started killing each other? No. This is hyperbole.

But there is something interesting about this. Who is this James? He is James, the Lord's brother. He was an unbeliever until the resurrection. He does not convert to Christ until the resurrection when he saw his brother raised from the dead. He became a believer. He became the lead elder of the Jerusalem church. He is a pretty amazing guy and he is writing this. I think when he wrote that, he knows it is hyperbole, but I think he remembered something.

Remember when Jesus Christ was talking, especially in the Sermon on the Mount, he said, "You say, for instance, 'Thou shalt not murder.' But I say if you have ever had anger in your heart, you are a murderer." Wow. Do you think James might have heard that in all those thirty years he spent with Jesus? He says, "I remember him saying that. I did not even know what he meant." And he uses it here. He uses the hyperbole. Jesus Christ says our anger condemns us before God just like murder would.

Murder is obviously worse because of the ramifications for humans. He says you lust, you do not have, you commit murder, you are envious and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. Unmet expectations. He said that is why we fight. That is why we go through this. Now, what is interesting about this is a lot of the ways in which we get angry is not the same way God gets angry. One thing you read in the New Testament and Old Testament alike is Psalm 78. Speaking of God, "But He, God, being compassionate, forgave their iniquity. He did not destroy them. And He often restrained His anger and He did not arouse His wrath."

God has tremendous patience with human beings. He never flies off the handle and just acts angry over something that was done wrong. Exodus 34:6 says, "The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, very slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness and truth." You see, we should be long-suffering. Anger should be the very last thing of a long process that we observe sin. It is never something we should just fly off the handle with and do from that point of view.

Righteous anger, even if you are angry about the right thing, can turn to evil if it comes out of your human heart and out of your human mouth in which you deal with it. So it is wrong to use Ephesians 4:26. Most of our anger comes out of our own heart, even with the hyperbole. What does that mean? Listen to this part. This part is worth remembering because I get this all the time in counseling.

When you get angry and I get angry, it is not my mom. It is not my dad. It is not my kids. It is not my wife, not my husband, not my neighbor, not my boss, not my government. It is not that at all. You know where anger came from? Right here. From me. I chose to be angry. The answer to your anger is not a who. It is a what. Where does it come from? We all say, "Every time I get around that guy, I just get so angry," as though it is that guy's fault. It is his fault. I would not be angry except for him or except for them or except for that.

You cannot use that. Under the word of God, he says this comes from your heart. This is you. This is what you do. You get angry. Anger is an inside job. It is not outward and you cannot use it quite that way. Now, obviously, sin should make us angry. Real sin should make us angry. The question would be, though, when I display my anger, is it from my heart or from God?

First of all, if you say an unkind word, it does not come from God. If you do not say a word that edifies them, it does not come from God. If you do not offer them grace, that does not come from God. That all comes from you. That is you justifying yourself because you are angry. And that is what he keeps saying here. We should be angry at exactly the right type of thing.

Let me give you an example. Does abortion make you angry? It should. It is murdering babies. We should be angry about that. So what do we do? "I just tell those people I cannot stand them and they are going to burn in hell for that and I will scream at them." Really? That is what you should do? Are those words unkind? Are they edifying? They are not. So do not say that. That is your flesh speaking. That is not God speaking.

Well, what do I do then? Remember the center we use on the West Bank? What do those ladies do? Are they angry about abortion? Of course they are. That is why they have a ministry. That is what they do. And do they just yell at them? No, they do not. They welcome all those people in. They give them every possibility they have for them to choose to have their baby. Every one of them. They love on them. Some of them have chosen abortion and guess what they do? They still love on them.

The whole idea behind it is wanting so much for you to come to the position, and they are overwhelmingly successful with young women who went in there thinking they would get an abortion who decided to have a baby. If you are angry about abortion, that is the kind of thing you want to be involved in. You do not want to be yelling and screaming at people. That is not righteous anger. That is human anger from your own flesh.

Maybe look at it this way. The next time you get angry, ask yourself this question. Am I angry because I did not get what I wanted in anything? Am I angry because I did not get what I wanted? Who likes to be disrespected? Nobody. We all want respect. Has there ever been anyone in your life that has disrespected you? Yeah. And that makes me angry.

We have to be so careful. Almost always in anger, Larson's point is correct. It is a frustrated expectation that we have that is not being met. So we have to be careful using Ephesians 4:26 to support our anger and we must realize that our anger comes out of our own sinful heart. So what should we do about it? Go with me to Colossians chapter 3, verse 1. Paul, starting in the last part of the letter, says this: "Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ," and by the way, we all have, that is a first-class condition of assumption, since you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things on the earth. For you have died and your life is hidden in Christ in God. Therefore, when Christ, who is my life, our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. For you and I as a believer, my life is Christ. My life is hidden in Him. My perspective is where He is. That is how I see my life. Paul says that is the perspective you have to have.

He says in verse 5, "Consider the members of your earthly body as dead." That word "consider" means reckon. It takes faith to do that. Paul uses the same argument in Romans. He said, "How do I not sin so much?" He said you have to reckon yourself dead to sin. In other words, Paul's view is before I came to Christ, I sinned because I had to. Now that I am a Christian, the spirit of God indwells me, I sin because I want to. It is a difference.

That is what he is saying. He said consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, greed, and that all amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will one day come upon the sons of disobedience. And in them you once lived when you were living in them. But now, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech from your mouth.

That word "anger" is *orgē*, a normal word. Let me paraphrase it loosely. What is he saying here about anger? This part is deep, so try to listen: Stop it. Just stop it. That is what God said. Stop it. We want a little more than that. What he uses is he says "put it aside." That is interesting. That is *apotithēmi* and that word means take off your clothes. That is literally what it means. Take your anger, your slander, take all that, take your clothes off and throw them off and leave them.

Stop it. That is what God said, just stop it. Notice, "all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech from your mouth." That word "wrath" is *thymos*. Literally, that word means a fire in straw. You ever see how a fire goes in straw? Pretty fast. What is an example of *thymos*? Remember when Jesus went back to Nazareth and he preached and he reads Isaiah and he says, "I have fulfilled it"?

This is all about Messiah. And he said, "I have fulfilled it." What do you think the response was of the Nazarenes? How did they respond? "Get him! Let's get him!" They just charged him and they ran him out of the synagogue and ran him to the edge of a precipice and they wanted to throw him over. That is *thymos*. That is rage. They just reacted in total rage. He said that is the kind of thing he means.

But God says put it aside. Just stop it. Stephen Cole writes this. He says, well, here Paul seems to say, "You are angry? Just stop it." "But Paul, when I was a child my parents abused me and now I seethe with anger." Put it all aside. "But Paul, my wife nags me constantly and I eventually explode in anger." Put it all aside. "But Paul, my husband is a workaholic who leaves all the household and dealing with the kids to me. He is so inconsiderate. I am so angry with him." Put it all aside.

"But Paul, my kids sass me and do not do what I say no matter how many times I ask them to do it. The only way I can get them to obey is to yell at them." Put it all aside. "But Paul, you do not understand. My boss at work favors his daughter who works for the company and he treats me terribly. I am so angry. I just hate him." Put it all aside. That is what God says. Put it aside. Why? Because you can. I am telling you, put it aside. Be done with it. Stop it.

What should I do? Well, one would be why don't I pray to God about this? You see, God tells us this. Why don't I pray to God about it? Remember what God said in Romans 12? He said, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay." God knows what is just and what is not just. He says, "Give it to me. Let me handle this." Don't fill your heart with hate and anger. Don't fill your speech with all kinds of condemning and horrible words. Don't do that. Just tell me and trust me. I will make sure it is right in the end. That is an amazing perspective for us as a believer but we are to put it all aside.

Is there a way that anger can be handled well in the scripture? I read a story earlier this week I thought was interesting. Nehemiah 5 is all about Nehemiah. They went back into the land after they were in the Babylonian captivity. Things did not go well in the land. But one thing that really happened is there were Jews in the land and went back who had wealth. There were a lot of Jews that did not have wealth. They could barely make a go of it. They had some really terrible times.

So what the Jews who had wealth did is they decided then, "Okay, I will give you money for a lot of interest." That is a violation of Jewish law, not allowed to do that. They took their land as payment so they could feed them. They took their children and put them into slavery or servitude. Their children, and the Jews did it to other Jews. Nehemiah finds out and he said, "I was very angry, very angry."

He calls them all together and it is a real interesting response that he gives. You think he would have yelled and screamed at them? He just told them what the Bible said. He said, "This is against God's law. We cannot do this. You are not allowed to do that." Then twice he says, "Please, please give them back their land. Please stop charging them. Please do not enslave anybody." Guess what they did? Exactly what he said.

That is amazing. Sometimes you do that and you do not get any response. They all responded. They all said we repent of it. They all said amen to it. He even got the priests together and they all took an oath they will never do that again. But he never even raised his voice. He just said please, this is a violation of God's law. And it worked. The key was he said, "I was very angry." Just imagine that. Well, he should have done more yelling, shouldn't he have? No.

Thomas Jefferson said something. It is just brilliant and you probably have heard it. Jefferson said, "Whenever I get angry, I count to ten. When I get very angry, I count to a hundred." Why does he say that? Because he knows himself and he knows that when I am really angry, I am going to say something I am going to regret. And if I am very angry, it is going to be worse. You see, and that is what God is saying.

So some principles to look at here. The Bible never commands us to do anything that we cannot do. Especially with us with God's indwelling spirit. The Bible never gives you a command that says, "Oh, I know they cannot do it." If Jesus gives us a command, we can do this. That is why Paul said, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." The book of Proverbs has twelve verses just on how to control my anger.

It is a threat to us. Remember in Genesis 4 the story Cain and Abel? Who spoke to Cain after he murdered his brother? God. It was interesting. You think God would have come down and just really gave it to him? He did not. He said to him, "Cain, why are you so angry?" Now, do you know why he was so angry? Frustrated expectations. He thought he could decide what to offer God. God did not accept his offering and He accepted Abel's.

So he got mad and he murders his brother. But then God gives him a warning. He said, "Look, Cain, sin is crouching at your door because of your display of anger. You must master it. You must master it. You must control anger." Secondly, our own experience tells us that you can always control your anger. You think, "Well, I do not know if I can." I will bet you can. I have had this experience.

Just imagine you and your wife are in a good fight. You know what a good fight in marriage is. It starts out with something insignificant and then it just starts escalating. Ever notice sometimes over the years you end up in the same fight? Like all of a sudden we add everything to what we were originally disagreeing about and you end up using words like always and never. "You always," "you never," and we are fighting. You feel really hot.

And then I call you. Hello? This is Pastor Bill. "Oh, hi Pastor Bill. How are you doing?" What? What happened? You controlled your anger immediately. You start saying nice things, "Oh, yeah, I would be glad to help," and all that stuff. Then you hang up, turn, "And another thing!" That means you have control. You just do not want to.

Thirdly, always confess it as sin. If your words are not kind, they are not edifying, it is not full of grace, you are sinning. Just confess it to the Lord. Fourthly, this one is tough for us: accept your circumstances from God. They may not change. What do you mean? They may not change. Say you are always angry at your neighbor. He is just a horrible human being.

He blows his leaves on your yard and all this stuff. Do you know how long he is going to be your neighbor? No, but it could be till you are dead. God does not always change our circumstances. "Oh, this makes me so mad." It does not work that way. Sometimes He does. Sometimes He does not. And I am going to have to live with what God's providence is in my life. This is my life. These are my neighbors. I can live with that because my well-being does not depend on circumstances or people to change for me not to be too frustrated.

The last thing: choose to forgive just as Christ has forgiven you. Always. Christ forgives you every day unconditionally. That is what you have to do. You get frustrated they are not meeting your expectations, forgive them. Pray to God, but forgive them. Anger can be more dangerous to you than it can be to the people you are angry at. That is what he is telling us. We have to be careful. Let us pray.

Father, we all get angry. Some of us have a real problem with it. Lots of outbursts, lots of casualties because of our anger. I pray your spirit will convict us of that, that that is not the way we should live. That is not what we should bestow on other people. We should follow your example: long-suffering, patient. I pray, Father, that we understand that anger can change us more than it changes the people we are angry at. And we should be a kind, edifying, loving people in spite of our frustration, just as you are with us. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Jason Gebhardt: You've been listening to Pastor Bill Gebhardt on the radio ministry of Fellowship in the Word. If you ever miss one of our broadcasts or maybe you would just like to listen to the message one more time, remember that you can go to a great website called oneplace.com. That is oneplace.com and you can listen to Fellowship in the Word online. At that website you will find not only today’s broadcast but also many of our previous audio programs as well.

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