The Boundless Show

Marrieds share lessons from their dating years, plus staying out of the comparison trap, and guarding your heart while waiting to get engaged.Featured musical artist: Zach WilliamsRoundtable: If I Had to Date AgainMarriage has a way of giving you a fresh perspective on dating; sometimes hindsight is 20/20. While getting to know someone with romantic potential can be exciting, how do you know if you’re discovering the things that are truly important in marriage? To help you date successfully with the future in mind, our guests share things they did well in dating, things they wish they’d done differently, and lessons they learned from their dating journeys.Culture: Letting Go of ComparisonFor Richella Parham, comparing herself with others began in childhood with a rare and embarrassing birthmark. Comparison seemed innocuous and inevitable until years later when her husband politely pointed out that doing so had become a bad habit. Since then, Rochella’s been on a mission to let go of what others think about her, eliminate negative self-talk from her vocabulary, and embrace who God says she is. If you’ve ever struggled with comparison (and who hasn’t?), you’ll benefit from this discussion.Richella’s Blog:  Imparting GraceMythical Me: Finding Freedom From Constant Comparison  Inbox: Guarding Your Heart While Waiting to Get EngagedOur listener and her boyfriend have talked about getting engaged, but it will likely be next year before he pops the question. Amidst the waiting, she’s struggling to find a balance between guarding her heart and preparing it for marriage. Is there a way to balance the two? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in. 

The art of asking good questions, plus more with Brant Hansen on purposeful men, and a listener fears her boyfriend will use porn again.Featured musical artist: Ecclesia Roundtable: Asking Good QuestionsOne of Lisa Anderson’s favorite ways to get to know people is to play question games — the more meaningful or intriguing the question, the better. She cites recent research on the relational value of putting thought into questions, and asks this week’s guests how comfortable they are answering and asking questions. Then she poses three questions that everyone has to answer. Play along and join in the fun!Get the Book: The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up  Inbox: Will a Past Porn Struggle Resurface?Her boyfriend previously struggled with pornography, but it was months before they met. She’s concerned that even though he’s doing well now, he may fall back into this sin at some point. Are her fears founded? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.

Should singles consume romantic content? Plus Brant Hansen on being a man of purpose, and how long should you wait to get engaged?Featured musical artist: Covenant WorshipRoundtable: Is It Wise to Consume Romantic Content?Love songs, romantic comedies, sappy novels. Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story – especially if it has a happy ending? While romance can be heart-warming, is there a way to gauge if you’re consuming too much of it, especially as a single adult? Our guests share love stories they enjoy, but with insights on how to have healthy boundaries in consuming romance as entertainment.Plugged In Website Culture: The Men We Need (Part 1)Brant Hansen is on a mission to remind men of the vital role they play in making a society healthy. An “avid indoorsman” who plays the accordion, Brant assures us that being a man isn’t about beards or blowing things up, but about taking responsibility and doing good in the world. In his book “The Men We Need,” he offers six principles around what it means to be a godly man. This week we’ll discuss the first three: 1) Forsake the fake and relish the real, 2) protect the vulnerable and 3) be ambitious about the right things.The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up Inbox: How Long Before You Get Engaged?  She and her boyfriend have been dating for about six months, and they know they want to get married. She wants to get engaged soon, but he feels like they should wait. Is there an ideal timeframe for engagement? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in. 

Feeling like a kid again, plus the Roe v. Wade reversal’s effect on the dating market, and does the kinsman redeemer principle still apply today?Featured musical artist: HollynRoundtable: Revisiting Your Childhood in Healthy WaysIt’s easy to look back on your childhood and pine for the “good ole days.” But while some nostalgia is good, staying stuck on missing the past can hinder you from enjoying the present. Our guests share favorite childhood memories and touchpoints and why they’re so meaningful. You’ll also hear what makes them feel like a kid again and ways they’ve wrestled with wanting to return to and relive the past.Culture: The Dating Market After DobbsSince the recent Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, emotions are running high and ideological skirmishes continue. But amid the political unrest, this decision is affecting many other areas of our lives, including dating. Wait, what? Dr. Mark Regnerus, professor of sociology at the University of Texas, argues that the abortion debate and resulting lack of access has big implications, especially for young adults. He’ll also address conversations that Christians should be having to set themselves up for a good marriage. The Future of Christian Marriage  Inbox: Is the Kinsman Redeemer Concept Still Applicable?  In ancient Israel, when a husband died, it was customary for the closest male family member to marry the widow. A listener has a friend who recently lost her husband and wonders, “Does this principle still apply today?” Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.

Sharing your relationship on social media, plus responding to life’s “almosts,” and should a Christian remember the exact day of their salvation?Featured musical artist: Phil WickhamRoundtable: What Relationship Stuff Should You Post on Social?You’re scrolling through social media when you see it — your friend is “in a relationship.” Now what? Is there an accepted etiquette for what, how and when you post information about your relationship online? Should a status be enough? What about photos, personal messages, and what some may consider TMI? Our guests this week have walked through this experience multiple times, and they break down the pros and cons of social media sharing about your significant other, including all the feels.Culture: Trusting God in the “Almosts” of LifeYou thought you were going to marry her, but she broke up with you. You were the perfect candidate for the job, but the company chose someone else. We’ve all faced the disappointment of getting close to something we want only to come up short. Jordan Lee Dooley joins us to explain how these opportunities, while painful, are the perfect time to trust God, grow as individuals, and see what better opportunities may come. Sometimes God uses “almosts” to steer us toward the “for sures” that we can’t yet see.Get the Book: Embrace Your Almost: Find Clarity and Contentment in the In-Betweens, Not-Quites, and UnknownsInbox: Should I Remember When I Got Saved? Some churches teach that to truly be a Christian, you must remember the exact day you were saved. But is this biblical? And even if you do remember a certain day, how do you know if your profession of faith was real? Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.

Trusting God in a waiting season, plus pursuing sexual purity with godly motives, and handling conflict well in dating.Featured musical artist: Je’kob ( https://www.facebook.com/iamjekob )Roundtable: When God Tells You to WaitWhat does it look like to trust God’s plan in a season of waiting? Our guests discuss times they’ve waited on God in their careers, relationships and faith journeys — even when doing so was hard. They’ll also address how to balance trusting God with taking action toward something you want.Culture: Lessons From Purity CulturePurity culture has gotten a bad rap — some of it for good reason. But don’t throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water. Purity culture placed a high value on God’s design for sexuality and its place within marriage. That said, pastor and author Dean Inserra acknowledges the movement’s shortcomings. While we should always prioritize sexual integrity, he reminds us that obedience around our sexuality shouldn’t become an idol in our efforts to serve God. Dean reframes the conversation around God’s truth and grace, allowing us to submit our sexuality to God for His glory and our good.Pure: Why the Bible’s Plan for Sexuality Isn’t Outdated, Irrelevant, or Oppressive Get the book "Pure: Why the Bible’s Plan for Sexuality Isn’t Outdated, Irrelevant, or Oppressive" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-08-18?refcd=1454007Inbox: Different Ways to Handle Conflict She and her boyfriend are wondering: Is there a difference between compromising, yielding, and resolving conflict? Counselor M.T. Wilson breaks down different ways to handle conflict, and explains how you can determine if you’re applying it effectively in dating.

Having good boundaries while engaged, plus overcoming an eating disorder, and when to try to repair a damaged friendship.Featured musical artist: Darlene Zschech ( https://www.darlenezschech.com/ ) Roundtable: Boundaries Leading up to Marriage (Part 2)The temptation to blur lines and push physical, emotional and relational boundaries is often stronger during engagement than other phases of dating. It’s also tricky to navigate compromise and common ground in the areas of finances, family and more. We brought in marriage mentors Roger and Diane Ingolia to shed light on appropriate boundaries to set for yourselves and others during the critical pre-marriage season. You’ll also hear from newlyweds Gabriel and Hannah Nymeyer on how they tackled these challenges while engaged. In part two, the couples address the importance of healthy physical boundaries.Culture: Beating an Eating DisorderMany young adults live with an eating disorder. Because the struggle is rooted in shame, most suffer in silence, even denying that there’s a problem. Grace McCready shares her own journey with an eating disorder — something she still fights every day. She’ll address the lies Satan uses to trap us, how she wrestled with body image and wrong thinking, and ways that counseling and community provide much-needed hope.Link to Counseling Services: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/?refcd=1060202Get the book "Real Recovery" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-08-11?refcd=1454205Inbox: Should I Reconnect With a Friend Who Hurt Me? She was friends with a woman a number of years ago. While things weren’t always stable in their friendship, a bridge was burned when the friend made a very hurtful comment. Now, our listener is questioning if it’s best to reconcile or move on. Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.

Having good boundaries while engaged, plus important info before you get married, and is it OK to work alone with coworkers of the opposite sex?Featured musical artist: Jeremy Rosado ( https://www.instagram.com/iamjeremyrosado/?hl=en )Roundtable: Boundaries Leading up to Marriage (Part 1)The temptation to blur lines and push physical, emotional and relational boundaries is often stronger during engagement than other phases of dating. It’s also tricky to navigate compromise and common ground in the areas of finances, family and more. We brought in marriage mentors Roger and Diane Ingolia to shed light on appropriate boundaries to set for yourselves and others during the critical pre-marriage season. You’ll also hear from newlyweds Gabriel and Hannah Nymeyer on how they tackled these challenges while engaged. In part one, the couples address family dynamics and finances.Culture: Things to Know Before Getting MarriedThere are many cultural lies circulating around marriage, most making marriage out to be either a drudgery or a fairy tale. A good marriage takes work, intention, an open heart and a sense of fun. Dana Che, host of “Real Relationship Talk,” joins us to discuss a few things she wished she had known before walking the aisle. Whether you’re newly married or someday hope to be, this is a must listen.Link to RealRelationshipTalk.com ( https://realrelationshiptalk.com/ )Link to Real Relationship Talk Podcast ( https://realrelationshiptalk.com/podcast/ ) Inbox: Should I Work Alone With Someone of the Opposite Sex? She works as an EMT where her job requires her to be alone with male colleagues for long periods of time. Some of her Christian friends have cautioned against this, but didn’t support their opinions with Scripture. In this type of situation, what is necessary and wise? Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.

Launching into adulthood, plus Todd Friel on how to know if you’re a true Christian, and the pressure to use preferred pronouns.Featured musical artist: Daniel Bashta ( https://www.danielbashta.com/welcome ) Roundtable: Welcome to AdulthoodDo you feel like everyone else is independent: paying their bills, doing their taxes, making decisions and just generally “adulting”? It’s easy to feel left behind or experience anxiety around the many changes you must navigate in this season. Some of it is “life stuff” like the above. Some of it is relational — learning how to let go of your parents, make friends and find community. Our guests share the ups and downs of their own adulthood journeys and give encouragement for making the transition a smooth and (mostly) successful one. Culture: A Question of SalvationNews flash: Just because you walked an aisle or prayed a prayer doesn’t mean you’re saved. So what does? All of us have questioned our salvation at one time or another, so can we really be sure? Evangelist and apologist Todd Friel shows how the prosperity gospel, “get out of hell free” gospel, churchgoer gospel and other false gospels lull people into complacency, yet Scripture itself is clear on what it means to be saved. Get ready for an insightful and empowering conversation on what matters most when it comes to salvation and eternity. Link to Wretched.org: https://wretched.org/Link to Todd's "Ten Point Test to See if You Are Saved": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLIWG6JO6NMInbox: Should Christians Use Preferred Pronouns?As a Christian, is it lying or loving to address someone with their preferred pronouns — even if they don’t align with their biological sex? When asked to declare pronouns at work, school or on social media, how should we respond? Family and gender analyst Jeff Johnston weighs in.

Qualities of a humble spouse, plus dating someone who confesses a sin pattern, and how to respond when your friend has a porn problem.Featured musical artist: Kerrie Roberts ( https://kerrieroberts.com/ )Roundtable: The Humble SpouseHumility is to relationships what gasoline is to cars; without it, a relationship can’t move forward. In marriage, humility is especially important since spouses are in covenant together as one flesh. Our guests are honest about where they were on the humility scale going into marriage, and how they’ve learned to be more humble since. They’ll also give insights on how to spot humility in the people you date.Culture: Spotting a Sin Stronghold in DatingAll of us have hang-ups and sins we must address. But what do you do when the person you are dating confesses a serious sin pattern like alcoholism, drugs or porn? Is there a way to balance grace with truth, and at what point do you need to cut off the relationship? Christine Snyder tells her story of facing an unwanted divorce due to her husband’s addictions and unfaithfulness, while counselor Glenn Lutjens provides expert advice on when to pull the plug on a problematic dating relationship.Link to Counseling Services: ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/?refcd=1060202 ) Inbox: Does Everyone Have a Porn Problem?She’s known more than a few friends in her Christian community who’ve confessed a problem with pornography. She’s frustrated that porn seems to be “winning” in the hearts and minds of those around her, and doesn't know what to do. When the next friend confesses, what should be her response? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.