The Boundless Show

A panel of pastors on why church matters, plus Tovares and Safa Grey on honoring God in dating, and will a new city improve your dating chances?Featured musical artist:  Aaron ShustRoundtable: Why Church Matters (Part 1)The Boundless team recently held a live event at Third Space Coffee in Colorado Springs to talk about why the local church is an essential part of the Christian life. Joining us were three pastors from the area. We put mics in front of them, Lisa asked a bunch of questions, and over 80 young adults sipped coffee and listened in. Now you can, too, as we share what was recorded in a two-part roundtable this week and next. In part one, the pastors discuss how the pandemic affected their congregations, what the Bible has to say about the local church, and what to look for in your search for a church community.Culture: Dating to Honor GodJust because someone says they’re a Christian doesn’t mean they are. How can you know if the person you’re interested in actually has godly character? Tovares and Safa Grey are passionate about guiding young adults through a godly dating relationship in a culture that cares little about honoring God. They’ll address good boundaries in dating, the need to surround yourself with healthy friends, and will offer specific encouragement to the black community on this topic.Get the book Godly Dating 101: Discover the Truth About Relationships in a World That Constantly Lies for your donation of any amount!Inbox: Better Dating Options in a Different City?She’s leading a young adults ministry, has a great job, and is enjoying her church community. However, she’s struggling to find a guy she’d want to date. Is it time to change cities in hopes of finding someone? Lisa Anderson weighs in. 

Addressing a situationship, plus more of Dr. Bob Paul’s landmark relationship advice, and when your ex has stopped all communication.Featured musical artist:  All Sons & DaughtersRoundtable: Navigating a SituationshipYou and someone have been talking or hanging out for a while now. You like each other, but instead of going on dates, you keep the pseudo-relationship rolling without defining it. Sound familiar? Taking cues from the culture, many now describe these scenarios as a “situationship” (similar to what we often call a “friendlationship” at Boundless), and most of the time they lead to frustration and resentment. Our guests share openly about times they’ve been in these go-nowhere arrangements and how you can get out of one.Culture: Foundational Tools for Healthy Relationships (Part 2) As the leader of Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored program, Dr. Bob Paul regularly conducts four-day marriage intensives where he counsels couples who are on the brink of divorce. Lisa Anderson had the opportunity to observe an intensive and says, “Hope Restored is doing great work for marriages in crisis, but in my opinion, every unmarried person should go through this incredible program.” Learn why Lisa speaks so strongly of Hope Restored as she interviews Bob about the foundational lessons he teaches couples and how they can benefit your own personal growth and relationships. In part two, Bob discusses codependency in relationships and what to do when someone triggers you. 9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage: And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free     Inbox: When an Ex Cuts All TiesWhen you’ve been in a long-term relationship and he or she cuts off communication, how do you handle that? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

Asking God honest questions, plus Dr. Bob Paul shares landmark relationship advice, and encouragement for 30-something single men.Featured musical artist:  Love and the OutcomeRoundtable: My Biggest God QuestionsSince none of us are God, it’s normal to have questions about who He is, what He’s thinking, and what He’s up to today and, well — forever. Some questions are lighthearted, but others are serious and have big implications. Our guests share questions they’ve had about God, ones they still have, and where some safe places are to get them answered. Culture: Foundational Tools for Healthy Relationships (Part 1) As the leader of Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored program, Dr. Bob Paul regularly conducts four-day marriage intensives where he counsels couples who are on the brink of divorce. Lisa Anderson had the opportunity to observe an intensive and says, “Hope Restored is doing great work for marriages in crisis, but in my opinion, every unmarried person should go through this incredible program.” Learn why Lisa speaks so strongly of Hope Restored as she interviews Bob about the foundational lessons he teaches couples and how they can benefit your own personal growth and relationships. In part one, Bob discusses the importance of safety in relationships, and why boundaries are so important.Receive the book  9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage: And the Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free  Inbox: Hope for Single Men in Their 30sHe’s in his mid-30s and is struggling to find a potential spouse. Even though he’s tried online dating, it’s only resulted in a few dates. The waiting is difficult and he’s getting more and more discouraged. Is there hope for him? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.  

Worshiping God seven days a week, plus a firsthand look at helping Ukrainian refugees, and when a man feels insecure about being short.Featured musical artist: JJ Heller Roundtable: Worship as a LifestyleWorship is a meaningful and at times deeply emotional experience that connects us to God’s heart. But it’s meant to be much more than just a church service on the weekend. Our guests describe ways they’ve learned to connect with God during the routines of everyday life. Whether it’s through listening to music, prayer, serving, or even working a 9-to-5 job, you’ll see that worship is expressed in many ways.Culture: Lessons From Helping RefugeesThe Russia-Ukraine war has been a devastating reality this year. Many are asking, “What’s the best way to offer help to those in need?” Psychiatrist Dr. Karl Benzio recently got to serve Ukrainian refugees in Warsaw, Poland. He’ll share his inspiring story of how he and his daughter, an art therapist, provided mental health support to the refugees and pastors in that region. He’ll also share ways we can pray for the people affected by this conflict.American Association of Christian CounselorsInbox: Short and Lacking Confidence   He listened to a past segment titled “Height Hang-Up” and is wondering how to express genuine confidence in life and relationships, even though he’s shorter than most guys. And how can he be both confident and humble? Josh Zeichik weighs in.

The difference between being encouraging vs enabling, plus when someone you’re dating has mental health issues, and should you get back together with an ex after learning about baggage you had before? Featured musical artist:  About a Mile Roundtable: An Encourager or an Enabler?We all want to be liked, and what better way to be appreciated by friends than to be an encourager?  But what do you do when someone has a bad pattern or habit in their lives? Should you call them out or sweep it under the rug and tell them they’re still a good person? Our panel of guests share about the ways they have benefitted from constructive criticism, and how you can be an encourager, without enabling poor behavior.Culture: Dating and Mental Health IssuesEven with all of our gadgets and technology, mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are on the rise. What do you do when the person you’re dating is struggling? Dr. Karl Benzio is a friend of Boundless, and he’s also an experienced psychiatrist. He’ll address that all of us are a work in progress, and how to know if your dating relationship can survive a mental health struggle. The American Association of Christian CounselorsLink to Counseling ServicesInbox: Should I Reach Out to an Ex Again?  She recently ended a six month relationship, but now, she’s recognizing some fears she had about marriage. They also crossed some boundary lines sexually, but they’re both repentant. Now that she recognizes the fears she had and is living repentant of the sexual sin, should she reach out to her ex or not? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in.

The line from awareness to worry, plus readying your relationship for trials, and should you attend a Christian’s wedding to a non-Christian?Featured musical artist:  John WallerRoundtable: Informed but Calm Life is filled with unknowns. No matter how hard we try to predict the future, we can’t — nor can we adjust our circumstances to avoid pain. As we ponder what’s ahead, it’s one thing to be aware of what’s happening in the world, but it's very draining to always worry about it. But is staying worry-free even possible? Our guests discuss ways they’ve struggled with worry, plus how they’re learning to trust God now while still acknowledging and being concerned by what’s going on around them.Culture: When Your Relationship Faces a StormAs an expert on marriage, Gary Thomas loves to see couples fall in love. However, with 38 years of marriage experience, he’s very aware of the types of challenges couples inevitably walk through. Is there a way to prepare mentally, spiritually and emotionally for the tough times? When you’re dating someone, can you know if he or she will stay committed through thick and thin? Gary offers several examples and lots of biblical truth and encouragement to prepare you for marriage’s bumpy road. Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life’s StormsInbox: A Christian Marrying a Non-Christian Her Christian friend is engaged to a non-Christian, and she’s been invited to their wedding. When her friend was dating this guy, friends spoke up but were ignored. The couple has now moved in together. In light of these concerns, should our listener attend the wedding or not? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in.  

How to take a mental break, plus practicing EQ and good mental health, and how should Christians address entertainment with LGBT content?Featured musical artist: Tauren WellsRoundtable: A Break From Life’s BusynessWhen life gets busy and stressful, how do you find time to pause? Even taking a few minutes to pray, reflect, or breathe deeply can go a long way in keeping your soul healthy. Our guests describe ways they’re learning to tune out distractions and regroup during the busier seasons of life, and the difference it makes in their overall well-being.Culture: Healthy Adulthood on the InsideMany of us think we’re healthier than we actually are. We often don’t notice our own blind spots, shortcomings or weaknesses, let alone know what to do about them. Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty are passionate about helping young adults live life well from the inside out. They’ll discuss how to practice healthy self-awareness and build your EQ. Plus, they’ll address strategies for battling depression and finding your identity in Christ. Get the Book: Adulting 101 Book 2: An In-Depth Guide to Developing Healthy Habits, Becoming More Confident, and Living Your Purpose for Graduates and Young Adults  Inbox: Is LGBT Content in Entertainment Off-Limit for Christians?Our listener affirms the biblical definition of marriage, but with so many TV shows, films and even kids programs featuring pro-LGBT content, is it realistic for Christians to avoid it? After all, most entertainment also includes explicit language, violence and other problematic elements which many Christians consume without issue. Plugged In’s Adam Holz weighs in. 

Marrieds share lessons from their dating years, plus staying out of the comparison trap, and guarding your heart while waiting to get engaged.Featured musical artist: Zach WilliamsRoundtable: If I Had to Date AgainMarriage has a way of giving you a fresh perspective on dating; sometimes hindsight is 20/20. While getting to know someone with romantic potential can be exciting, how do you know if you’re discovering the things that are truly important in marriage? To help you date successfully with the future in mind, our guests share things they did well in dating, things they wish they’d done differently, and lessons they learned from their dating journeys.Culture: Letting Go of ComparisonFor Richella Parham, comparing herself with others began in childhood with a rare and embarrassing birthmark. Comparison seemed innocuous and inevitable until years later when her husband politely pointed out that doing so had become a bad habit. Since then, Rochella’s been on a mission to let go of what others think about her, eliminate negative self-talk from her vocabulary, and embrace who God says she is. If you’ve ever struggled with comparison (and who hasn’t?), you’ll benefit from this discussion.Richella’s Blog:  Imparting GraceMythical Me: Finding Freedom From Constant Comparison  Inbox: Guarding Your Heart While Waiting to Get EngagedOur listener and her boyfriend have talked about getting engaged, but it will likely be next year before he pops the question. Amidst the waiting, she’s struggling to find a balance between guarding her heart and preparing it for marriage. Is there a way to balance the two? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in. 

The art of asking good questions, plus more with Brant Hansen on purposeful men, and a listener fears her boyfriend will use porn again.Featured musical artist: Ecclesia Roundtable: Asking Good QuestionsOne of Lisa Anderson’s favorite ways to get to know people is to play question games — the more meaningful or intriguing the question, the better. She cites recent research on the relational value of putting thought into questions, and asks this week’s guests how comfortable they are answering and asking questions. Then she poses three questions that everyone has to answer. Play along and join in the fun!Get the Book: The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up  Inbox: Will a Past Porn Struggle Resurface?Her boyfriend previously struggled with pornography, but it was months before they met. She’s concerned that even though he’s doing well now, he may fall back into this sin at some point. Are her fears founded? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.

Should singles consume romantic content? Plus Brant Hansen on being a man of purpose, and how long should you wait to get engaged?Featured musical artist: Covenant WorshipRoundtable: Is It Wise to Consume Romantic Content?Love songs, romantic comedies, sappy novels. Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story – especially if it has a happy ending? While romance can be heart-warming, is there a way to gauge if you’re consuming too much of it, especially as a single adult? Our guests share love stories they enjoy, but with insights on how to have healthy boundaries in consuming romance as entertainment.Plugged In Website Culture: The Men We Need (Part 1)Brant Hansen is on a mission to remind men of the vital role they play in making a society healthy. An “avid indoorsman” who plays the accordion, Brant assures us that being a man isn’t about beards or blowing things up, but about taking responsibility and doing good in the world. In his book “The Men We Need,” he offers six principles around what it means to be a godly man. This week we’ll discuss the first three: 1) Forsake the fake and relish the real, 2) protect the vulnerable and 3) be ambitious about the right things.The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up Inbox: How Long Before You Get Engaged?  She and her boyfriend have been dating for about six months, and they know they want to get married. She wants to get engaged soon, but he feels like they should wait. Is there an ideal timeframe for engagement? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.