The Boundless Show

Lisa Anderson

What Is Real Repentance? (Part 2): Episode 741

April 14, 2022

Repenting for real, plus signs of a healthy dating relationship, and should you leave a church over theological differences?

Featured musical artist: David Dunn ( http://www.daviddunnmusic.com/ )

Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 2)

Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part two of our discussion, they address whether ministry leaders can be reinstated after showing repentance, choosing to forgive someone who has sinned against you, and finding victory over strongholds.

Counseling Consultation and Referrals: ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ )

Culture: Are You Dating the Right Person?

As a mentor mom who loves seeing God write young adults’ love stories, Rhonda Stoppe has a lot of real-world dating advice. In this thought-provoking discussion, she shares some vital tips for knowing if the person you’re dating is someone you should marry. She’ll address the topics of kindness, purity, evaluating your motives and more.

Donate a gift of any amount to Boundless and you’ll receive "Real-Life Romance: Inspiring Stories to Help You Believe in True Love" by Rhonda Stoppe.

10 Christian Dating Advice Tips to Pursue a Godly Relationship: ( https://www.crosswalk.com/family/singles/godly-relationship-advice-tips-to-know-before-you-date.html )

Inbox: Questioning a Church Leader’s Theology

She recently broke up with her boyfriend after learning that he and his family believe in “open theism.” Since his dad is a church leader, she’s now questioning whether or not it’s time to leave the church they all attend. Pastor Mark Bates addresses the problematic nature of theological differences and what to do when you’re torn about leaving a church you love.

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Archives

Repenting for real, plus hope for women struggling with sexual sin, and should you date someone with a criminal record? Featured musical artist: Austin Stone Worship ( https://www.austinstoneworship.com/ ) Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 1) Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part one of our discussion, they define repentance, explain the difference between sinning and struggling, and offer hope to those caught in cycles of sin. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ Steps for Breaking Pornography Addiction article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/practical-steps-for-breaking-pornography-addiction/ and Putting Away Porn For Good article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/sexuality/putting-porn-away-for-good/ Inbox: Dating Someone With a Criminal Record  She met a guy at church, but is concerned about his past as a convicted sex offender. It happened before he became a Christian, but should this be a disqualifier for dating him? Counselor Yale Kushner balances God’s grace with the practical implications of this man’s felony record.
April 7, 2022
Part two of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus questions about practicing humility, and should she be friends with an ex-boyfriend? Featured musical artist: Vertical Worship ( https://www.verticalofficial.com/ ) Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 2) Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part two of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John. Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 2) We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. In part two, he answers listener questions. Get the book "Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God" here: ( https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1337402 ) Inbox: Letting an Ex-Boyfriend Back In A guy broke up with her because he felt he could never live up to her standards of moral purity. Now he wants to be friends again. Is it wise to let him back in her life? Counselor Wendy Brown weighs in.
March 31, 2022
Part one of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus what true humility looks like, and is dating a non-Christian always a bad move? Featured musical artist: Vertical Church ( https://www.verticalofficial.com/ ) Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 1) Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part one of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John. Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 1) We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. Get your free copy of Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God here: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1332705 Inbox: Is Missionary Dating Unwise? She recently met a guy online and they have great chemistry. The only problem is, he’s not a Christian. Could dating him introduce him to Jesus, or is the whole idea risky and unwise? Lisa Anderson weighs in. For the culture segment, John Peardon mentioned that he’d like to start having the GOAA URL in the description, but I don’t think hyperlinks go through onto podcast descriptions. I went ahead and just put the link natively in there. Let me know if that works/what you think might be best.
March 24, 2022
Creative ideas for paying down debt, plus a Q&A on friendships with the opposite gender, and dating without disappointing your parents. Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard ( http://www.stugworld.com/ ) Roundtable: Creative Ways to Tackle Debt School loans, car payments, credit cards. Many young adults walk into adulthood staring at a mountain of debt. Is there a way to take control and start chipping away at the problem? Surprisingly, small steps make a big difference, and being creative in your approach will get you even further. Our guests share their most unique and efficient ways to pay off debt and save money. Culture: Guy and Girl Friendships (Part 2) Ambiguous male/female friendships — they happen to the best of us. Fortunately, Boundless contributors Joshua Rogers and Suzanne Gosselin have written about the subject and are here to talk about it. Are opposite-gender friendships possible? What happens when one party develops feelings for the other? In part two of our discussion, Joshua and Suzanne answer your questions about guy and girl friendships. Links to Articles: "Not Your Buddy"& "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better" & "Whose Job Is It to Define the Relationship?" & "Revisiting 'Not Your Buddy'" Inbox: Will My Parents Feel Left Out? She’s close with her parents, and is somewhat of a social and emotional support for them. She wants to start dating, but doesn’t want her parents to feel abandoned in the process. What’s the best move? Counselor Elaine Humphries weighs in.
March 17, 2022
Date without compromising who you are, plus a discussion on friendships with the opposite gender, and should your parents approve of your date? Featured musical artist: All Sons & Daughters ( https://www.instagram.com/allsanddmusic/ ) Roundtable: Dating Someone Without Losing Yourself Your friend started dating someone, but now they’ve gone MIA. Or you know someone who got in a relationship and turned into a different person. Too many people are willing to compromise their values, personality and time for someone else, and the results are usually disastrous. Our guests share how they brought balance and accountability to their relationships in order to stay true to who they really are. Culture: Guy and Girl Friendships (Part 1) Ambiguous male/female friendships — they happen to the best of us. Fortunately, Boundless contributors Joshua Rogers and Suzanne Gosselin have written about the subject and are here to talk about it. Are opposite-gender friendships possible? What happens when one party develops feelings for the other? In part one of our discussion, Joshua and Suzanne share the possibilities and pitfalls of being “just friends.” Related Articles: Not Your Buddy & Your Friendgirl Deserves Better Inbox: Should Your Parents Approve? He has a new girlfriend and wonders if his parents need to approve of the relationship. He feels they tend to be controlling, but he also wants to honor their opinion. What should he do? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.
March 10, 2022
The desire for control in dating, plus navigating life transitions, and are you spending too much time with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Featured musical artist: Various Artists ( https://www.integritymusic.com/ ) Roundtable: Who’s Leading Your Relationship? In an ideal world, everyone in a relationship would be perfectly sacrificial, always seeking the good of the other person, and finding a just-right balance of leadership and following, giving and taking. But we’re not in the real world. Here at Boundless, we find that daters get especially frustrated because they don’t think their partner is doing the “right thing.” Generally, women say men are too passive, and men say women are too controlling. Is this true? How do we encourage godly leadership in men while not taking a woman’s voice away? Our guests share how they navigated the tricky space of leadership and control while dating and discussing marriage with their now-spouses. Culture: The Only Constant Is Change Changes and transitions are part of life. You go from college to the professional world, you move to a new place, change jobs, change jobs again, start dating, then transition to marriage and having kids. But is there a way to do life transitions well when there are no easy formulas? Pastor Mark Bates just went through a major career transition and shares how he trusted God to get him through. He also reflects on transitions back when he was a young adult, and how everything has prepared him for where he is today. Inbox: Am I Spending Too Much Time With My Girlfriend? He recently started dating a girl, but she always wants to spend time together. It’s very early in the dating relationship, and with work and other commitments he’s starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. How should he handle this? Lisa Anderson weighs in.
March 3, 2022
Moving on after a breakup, plus Plugged In’s Adam Holz on the latest movies and Oscar buzz, and Lisa recommends her favorite books. Featured musical artist: Abandon ( https://www.instagram.com/abandonmusic/ ) Roundtable: Finding Hope After a Breakup Breakups are tough. Your dreams for the relationship are dashed, and your heart is left wondering if it will ever recover. Is there a healthy way to move on? Our guests share their breakup experiences and what they learned through the process. If you or someone you know is in a dark place after a relationship went south, this conversation will remind you there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Culture: Minding Your Movies The Oscars are almost here, and they always seem to be a mixed bag. Plugged In director Adam Holz watches movies for a living, so he’ll break down this year’s Academy Award contenders, share a few of his all-time favorite flicks, and offer helpful strategies for media discernment any time of year. Inbox: Lisa's Favorite Books Many listeners to the show know that host Lisa Anderson loves a good book. But have you wondered what her all-time favorites are? This week she’ll offer her best recommendations in the categories of Christian living, fiction, biographies and more.
February 24, 2022
How COVID has impacted the way we do church, plus discovering your life purpose, and should single adults foster and adopt children? Featured musical artist: Aaron Strumpel ( http://www.aaronstrumpel.com/ ) Roundtable: COVID and the Local Church Since the start of the COVID pandemic, many churches have seen a big drop in both attendance and volunteers. Congregations are divided on things like mask mandates, vaccines, livestream technology and more. Our panelists share what has changed for them in experiencing church post-pandemic, and what has stayed the same. They also offer encouragement for staying focused on the gospel and making in-person worship a priority. Culture: The Research Behind Finding Your Purpose God made our lives to have direction and meaning. But struggles and disappointments abound, and it’s easy to lose our way. Dr. Stephanie Shackelford is a senior fellow at the Barna group where she’s done excellent research on how one can find their unique calling in life. She shares practical insights for moving ahead with clarity, including a four-step process: define, discover, decide, and do. Inbox: Should a Single Adult Foster and Adopt Children? She’s strongly considering adopting a child. But the big question looming in her mind is, does the Bible say anything about single adults adopting children? And either way, what are the pros and cons? Dr. Sharen Ford, Focus on the Family’s director of foster care and adoption, weighs in.
February 17, 2022
When the person you like isn’t attracted to you, plus hope for people-pleasers, and how to respond to a single pastor’s romantic interest. Featured musical artist: Covenant Worship ( https://covenantchurch.org/whatwedo/worship/ ) Roundtable: When Attraction Isn’t Mutual You happen to really like someone, but as you get to know them it becomes clear that the feelings of attraction aren’t mutual. Should you hold on to the hope that their feelings will change, or is it safer to just move on? Our panel shares ideas for navigating the awkwardness and disappointment of unrequited love, and how you can find peace even when someone doesn’t like you back. Culture: Taming the People-Pleasing Monster (Part 2) People-pleasers abound. In fact, if you’re honest, you probably are one. People-pleasers do the hard work, hoping someone will notice or give us a compliment for our efforts. Or we never say “no,” afraid to face disapproval or rejection. But constantly looking for approval will only leave us feeling used and depleted. Dr. Mike Bechtle shares how he’s struggled with and learned to stop trying to live for the approval of others. In part two of our discussion, he’ll share some practical tips for overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. Inbox: My Pastor Wants to Date Me She just moved and started attending a young adults group at her new church. However, the pastor is a single guy who has started showing interest in her. She appreciates his attention, but isn’t interested in dating right now. How should she respond? Counselor MT Wilson weighs in.
February 10, 2022
Making time for rest, plus common fears of a people-pleaser, and should you and your spouse have separate bank accounts? Featured musical artist: David Baloche ( https://www.louderthanthemusic.com/product.php?id=2437 ) Roundtable: How to Rest Well Your to-do list is full and it seems like you don’t have enough time to catch your breath. Are you taking on too much? Are your priorities off? Maybe you don’t know the difference between “checking out” and getting true restorative rest. Our guests share ways they’ve learned to practice self-care and rest well, even with busy lives. Culture: Taming the People-Pleasing Monster (Part 1) People-pleasers abound. In fact, if you’re honest, you probably are one. People-pleasers do the hard work, hoping someone will notice or give us a compliment for our efforts. Or we never say “no,” afraid to face disapproval or rejection. But constantly looking for approval will only leave us feeling used and depleted. Dr. Mike Bechtle shares how he’s struggled with and learned to stop trying to live for the approval of others. In part one of our discussion, he’ll share the common fears that people-pleasers face. Inbox: Separate Finances in Marriage? She and her boyfriend are close to getting engaged, but she’s troubled by some of his requests. Years ago, he went through a tough divorce where he lost a lot. Now, he’s wanting to have separate bank accounts and has even mentioned her signing a prenuptial agreement. What’s the best way for her to respond to these concerns? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.
February 3, 2022
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About The Boundless Show

Boundless is a ministry of Focus on the Family that exists to see young adults mature in Christ as the foundation for marriage and family. Through our website, blog and weekly podcast, we help singles in their 20s and 30s navigate the path to marriage biblically and intentionally while providing sound resources and advice on key issues young adults face. We discuss everything from dating and relationships to faith, worldview, career and culture in a fun, engaging and relevant way. We’re also on Facebook (Boundless.org) and Twitter (BoundlessTeam).

The Boundless Show is a weekly podcast designed to build community among single young adults and provide a God-centered perspective on relationships, culture, career and faith. Hosted by Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson, The Boundless Show brings a voice to the interests and concerns of today’s 20- and 30-somethings.

About Lisa Anderson

Lisa Anderson is director of Boundless (www.boundless.org) and host of The Boundless Show — a weekly podcast reaching 20- and 30-somethings with the message of God’s design for marriage and family. The show also features practical tips for dating intentionally, owning your faith, navigating career and culture, and maturing in all areas of life.  

Lisa speaks frequently at churches, conferences and workshops, and her writing has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and in Streetwise and The Big Screen — two books in David C. Cook’s Custom Curriculum series.

When not challenging the next generation, she enjoys traveling, running, and quoting her mother, who is known to say outrageous things. She loves Jesus, people, ideas and guacamole, in that order.

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