The Boundless Show

Lisa Anderson

The Family You Came From (Part 1): Episode 748

June 2, 2022

How family affects us, plus blessing others with your words, and when you’re more introverted than the person you’re dating.

Featured musical artist: James Peden ( https://www.jamespedenmusic.com/ )

Roundtable: How Your Family of Origin Affected You (Part 1)

Like it or not, we’ve all picked up patterns and proclivities from our family of origin. For some, what we learned was relatively good. For others, talking about our family background is painful. Our guests share the good, bad and ugly attitudes and habits they adopted from their families, as well as the lessons they’ve learned and the cycles they’ve broken by growing and changing. In part one this week, they tell their stories and share their observations about what was healthy and unhealthy in their childhood homes and relationships.

Culture: Using Words to Bless Others

The book of Proverbs says that “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Knowing what to say when is a mark of a mature person as well as a mature Christian. Whether an encouragement, a rebuke, or a word of instruction, we’ve all been on the receiving end of words we needed to hear. Authors Cheryl Marshall and Caroline Newheiser have navigated many necessary conversations. They discuss insights from their book “When Words Matter Most” and help us discover ways to use words in different situations to bring blessing and healing.

Get the book "When Words Matter Most" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-06-02?refcd=1422601

Inbox: Do They Have to Go Out So Often?

She’s seeing a guy, but he’s more extroverted than she is, and he often wants to be together and on the go. Is it OK to express her desire to go out only once a week, or is that not enough for a sustainable dating relationship? A pastor and young adults mentor weighs in.

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Archives

When women make more money than men, plus advice for difficult relationships, and does a physical disability hurt your dating chances? Featured musical artist: Ellie Holcomb ( https://www.ellieholcomb.com/ ) Roundtable: When Women Make More Money Than Men Studies show that in many cases, women now outpace men in education and in the workplace. What are the implications? In an age where career and calling are so important, does money play a part? Many Christians are uncomfortable with the conversation about salaries and earning power, especially in a dating relationship or when thinking about a future marriage and family. Our guests discuss their experience with this topic, including biblical wisdom and common sense for addressing it in their own lives. Culture: Dealing With Difficult People It’s easy to assume that we should never have conflict with fellow Christians. But such an approach to relationships is unbiblical — even dangerous — and can prevent us from leveraging growth opportunities. Pastor Brian Noble admittedly struggled with this until he realized that not facing conflict produced a harvest of contention in the long run. Now the CEO of Peacemaker Ministries, Brian shares how he’s learned to deal with difficult people in varied situations, and why handling conflict healthily sets you up for relational success. Inbox: Dating With a Disability She’s interested in getting to know a guy, but feels limited by her physical disability. How much will this impact her ability to date? Counselor Joannie DeBrito weighs in with encouragement and advice.
May 26, 2022
Our best wedding planning strategies, plus God and technology, and when your friend can’t seem to break up with her boyfriend. Featured musical artist: Liz Vice ( https://www.lizvice.com/ ) Roundtable: Insider Wedding Tips Wedding season is officially in full swing, but planning the big day takes a lot of work. Between choosing the right dress, sending invitations, booking a DJ and finding a venue, the stress can be overwhelming. To help sort through the madness, we invited newlyweds to share their best tips for planning a wedding, including prioritizing their wish lists, navigating timing issues, and managing others’ expectations. They also share their “must-haves” for a meaningful wedding day. Culture: What’s God’s Opinion on Technology? With technology seemingly taking over the world today, it’s fair to ask, “How does God feel about all of this?” Desiring God’s Tony Reinke co-hosts the “Ask Pastor John” podcast with John Piper, and joins us this week to share a biblically-balanced approach on everything from smartphones to cryptocurrency to space travel. He’ll answer questions including: What’s God’s relationship with technology? What are technology’s limitations? How can we use tech for God’s glory? Get the book "God, Technology, and the Christian Life" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-05-19?refcd=1414102 Inbox: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Her best friend is in an unhealthy dating relationship and has expressed a desire to break it off, but it seems like nothing is changing. Is it time for our listener to speak up? Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.
May 19, 2022
The “children/no children” conversation, plus navigating death with a loved one, and when you and your friend like the same person. Featured musical artist: About a Mile ( https://www.facebook.com/aboutamile ) Receive the book "The Value of Wrinkles: A Young Perspective on How Loving the Old Will Change Your Life" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-05-12?refcd=1414304 Roundtable: Let’s Talk About Having Kids When dating someone and considering marriage, it’s common to eventually ask: Do you want children? Obviously, it’s a big decision that should be discussed before tying the knot. But what if the two of you disagree on the subject? What if one is undecided, or you both have different opinions on timing, number of kids, or something else? Is the “kids” convo a dealbreaker? Our guests talk through this tricky issue with grace and wisdom for us all. Culture: Death and Dying Helping a friend or loved one navigate the dying process — whether in old age, sickness or tragedy — is one of the most challenging things you will ever do. At the same time, it is also a journey filled with meaningful moments. Dr. Margaret Cottle and Dr. Bill Toffler are physicians specializing in end of life issues. They’ll share helpful perspectives on how to cope when you receive hard news, how to support someone who is dying, how to walk through grief, and how to embrace caregiving and be a support to other caregivers. They also share a biblical perspective on assisted suicide. Article by Lisa: My Mom Is Killing Me ( https://www.boundless.org/blog/my-mom-is-killing-me/ ) Inbox: When Your Friend Likes the Same Guy She’s liked a guy for a while but didn’t tell anyone, and now one of her friends happens to like him too. What should she do — confess her feelings for this man, or wait and see what happens? Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.
May 12, 2022
Men overcoming low self-esteem, plus a Q&A with pastor Jonathan Pitts on grief, and should you change churches when dating?
May 5, 2022
Women overcoming low self-esteem, plus pastor Jonathan Pitts on grief, and how do you share your opinions humbly? Featured musical artist: Love and the Outcome ( https://loveandtheoutcome.com/ ) Roundtable: Low Self-Esteem in Women When you’re one click away from seeing the highlight reels of your friends' lives, it’s easy to think you’re not as important or special as anyone else. Or maybe you’ve thought that since childhood; old wounds don’t always heal, do they? Hurtful experiences, poor relationships and false comparisons can drag us into the pit of low self-esteem. Is there a way to protect yourself and even overcome the lies? In part one of a two-part series on low self-esteem (men, you’re next week!), we’ll ask a group of women what brings them down, and more importantly, what it looks like to turn things around by understanding our limitations and embracing our identity in Christ. Culture: Surviving Grief and Loss (Part 1) When Jonathan Pitts and his wife, Wynter, celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary, they had much to look forward to, including writing books and doing ministry together. But less than a month later, Wynter died suddenly at age 38. Her passing sent Jonathan and their four daughters into a tailspin. But through that difficult season, Jonathan saw God’s faithfulness. In part one of our conversation, he shares the impact of grief and how God can sustain us in unexpected ways Inbox: How Can I Share My Opinion? Whenever she gives her thoughts on a matter, people push back. How can she speak up and give her opinion with kindness and humility? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in. That's Just My Opinion: ( https://www.boundless.org/blog/thats-just-my-opinion/ ) Link to Counseling Services ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/?refcd=1349703 )
April 28, 2022
How to set boundaries and say “no,” plus the pros and cons of marrying young, and where to turn when it feels like your life has stalled. Featured musical artist: Audio Adrenaline ( https://www.facebook.com/audioadrenaline/ ) Roundtable: It’s OK to Say “No” Your friend invited you to a party, your church is asking you to volunteer, and you’re thinking about joining a new small group. While opportunities in life are endless, saying “yes” to all of them is a recipe for burnout. Sometimes it’s best to decline, even when the opportunities are good ones. Our guests describe how they’ve struggled with setting boundaries in life, and why doing so is important. Culture: Better to Marry Earlier or Later? Many of us think that before getting married, we need to have our lives, careers and finances in order. But research shows this is not always the best approach. Dr. Jason Carroll is a respected professor and researcher who co-authored a study on the pros and cons of marrying young. In this thought-provoking discussion, he shares what the study shows about timelines and milestones for tying the knot. Inbox: Getting Your Life Back on Track She took care of her mom who was struggling with serious health issues. But she feels this necessary “detour” got her stuck, and now she’s discouraged and wondering how to get her life back on track. Where should she start? Counselor George Stahnke offers a word of encouragement.
April 21, 2022
Repenting for real, plus signs of a healthy dating relationship, and should you leave a church over theological differences? Featured musical artist: David Dunn ( http://www.daviddunnmusic.com/ ) Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 2) Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part two of our discussion, they address whether ministry leaders can be reinstated after showing repentance, choosing to forgive someone who has sinned against you, and finding victory over strongholds. Counseling Consultation and Referrals: ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ ) Culture: Are You Dating the Right Person? As a mentor mom who loves seeing God write young adults’ love stories, Rhonda Stoppe has a lot of real-world dating advice. In this thought-provoking discussion, she shares some vital tips for knowing if the person you’re dating is someone you should marry. She’ll address the topics of kindness, purity, evaluating your motives and more. Donate a gift of any amount to Boundless and you’ll receive "Real-Life Romance: Inspiring Stories to Help You Believe in True Love" by Rhonda Stoppe. 10 Christian Dating Advice Tips to Pursue a Godly Relationship: ( https://www.crosswalk.com/family/singles/godly-relationship-advice-tips-to-know-before-you-date.html ) Inbox: Questioning a Church Leader’s Theology She recently broke up with her boyfriend after learning that he and his family believe in “open theism.” Since his dad is a church leader, she’s now questioning whether or not it’s time to leave the church they all attend. Pastor Mark Bates addresses the problematic nature of theological differences and what to do when you’re torn about leaving a church you love.
April 14, 2022
Repenting for real, plus hope for women struggling with sexual sin, and should you date someone with a criminal record? Featured musical artist: Austin Stone Worship ( https://www.austinstoneworship.com/ ) Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 1) Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part one of our discussion, they define repentance, explain the difference between sinning and struggling, and offer hope to those caught in cycles of sin. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ Steps for Breaking Pornography Addiction article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/practical-steps-for-breaking-pornography-addiction/ and Putting Away Porn For Good article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/sexuality/putting-porn-away-for-good/ Inbox: Dating Someone With a Criminal Record  She met a guy at church, but is concerned about his past as a convicted sex offender. It happened before he became a Christian, but should this be a disqualifier for dating him? Counselor Yale Kushner balances God’s grace with the practical implications of this man’s felony record.
April 7, 2022
Part two of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus questions about practicing humility, and should she be friends with an ex-boyfriend? Featured musical artist: Vertical Worship ( https://www.verticalofficial.com/ ) Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 2) Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part two of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John. Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 2) We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. In part two, he answers listener questions. Get the book "Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God" here: ( https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1337402 ) Inbox: Letting an Ex-Boyfriend Back In A guy broke up with her because he felt he could never live up to her standards of moral purity. Now he wants to be friends again. Is it wise to let him back in her life? Counselor Wendy Brown weighs in.
March 31, 2022
Part one of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus what true humility looks like, and is dating a non-Christian always a bad move? Featured musical artist: Vertical Church ( https://www.verticalofficial.com/ ) Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 1) Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part one of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John. Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 1) We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. Get your free copy of Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God here: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1332705 Inbox: Is Missionary Dating Unwise? She recently met a guy online and they have great chemistry. The only problem is, he’s not a Christian. Could dating him introduce him to Jesus, or is the whole idea risky and unwise? Lisa Anderson weighs in. For the culture segment, John Peardon mentioned that he’d like to start having the GOAA URL in the description, but I don’t think hyperlinks go through onto podcast descriptions. I went ahead and just put the link natively in there. Let me know if that works/what you think might be best.
March 24, 2022
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About The Boundless Show

Boundless is a ministry of Focus on the Family that exists to see young adults mature in Christ as the foundation for marriage and family. Through our website, blog and weekly podcast, we help singles in their 20s and 30s navigate the path to marriage biblically and intentionally while providing sound resources and advice on key issues young adults face. We discuss everything from dating and relationships to faith, worldview, career and culture in a fun, engaging and relevant way. We’re also on Facebook (Boundless.org) and Twitter (BoundlessTeam).

The Boundless Show is a weekly podcast designed to build community among single young adults and provide a God-centered perspective on relationships, culture, career and faith. Hosted by Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson, The Boundless Show brings a voice to the interests and concerns of today’s 20- and 30-somethings.

About Lisa Anderson

Lisa Anderson is director of Boundless (www.boundless.org) and host of The Boundless Show — a weekly podcast reaching 20- and 30-somethings with the message of God’s design for marriage and family. The show also features practical tips for dating intentionally, owning your faith, navigating career and culture, and maturing in all areas of life.  

Lisa speaks frequently at churches, conferences and workshops, and her writing has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and in Streetwise and The Big Screen — two books in David C. Cook’s Custom Curriculum series.

When not challenging the next generation, she enjoys traveling, running, and quoting her mother, who is known to say outrageous things. She loves Jesus, people, ideas and guacamole, in that order.

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