The Boundless Show

Lisa Anderson

Learning to Rest: Episode 731

February 3, 2022

Making time for rest, plus common fears of a people-pleaser, and should you and your spouse have separate bank accounts?

Featured musical artist: David Baloche ( https://www.louderthanthemusic.com/product.php?id=2437 )

Roundtable: How to Rest Well

Your to-do list is full and it seems like you don’t have enough time to catch your breath. Are you taking on too much? Are your priorities off? Maybe you don’t know the difference between “checking out” and getting true restorative rest. Our guests share ways they’ve learned to practice self-care and rest well, even with busy lives.

Culture: Taming the People-Pleasing Monster (Part 1)

People-pleasers abound. In fact, if you’re honest, you probably are one. People-pleasers do the hard work, hoping someone will notice or give us a compliment for our efforts. Or we never say “no,” afraid to face disapproval or rejection. But constantly looking for approval will only leave us feeling used and depleted. Dr. Mike Bechtle shares how he’s struggled with and learned to stop trying to live for the approval of others. In part one of our discussion, he’ll share the common fears that people-pleasers face.

Inbox: Separate Finances in Marriage?

She and her boyfriend are close to getting engaged, but she’s troubled by some of his requests. Years ago, he went through a tough divorce where he lost a lot. Now, he’s wanting to have separate bank accounts and has even mentioned her signing a prenuptial agreement. What’s the best way for her to respond to these concerns? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

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Archives

Uncertainty around goals and calling, plus a live Q&A with Carey Nieuwhof, and should you speak up if a friend is engaged to a non-Christian? Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard ( https://www.stugworld.com/ ) Roundtable: Clarifying Your Life Goals Late January is typically the time of year when many give up on their New Year's resolutions. But what if you aren’t even sure what your goals are? What if the trajectory of your life seems vague at best? Our panel opens up about times they felt discouraged about their goals and what they learned from those seasons. If you’re feeling down about the direction of your life in 2022, this will give you some hope. Culture: Make the Most of Your Time (Part 2) Last week he told us how to live and work at our best. Join us this week for a Q&A with pastor, author and leadership expert Carey Nieuwhof as he answers questions from a live audience about priorities, time management, influence and more. Inbox: When a Friend Is Engaged to a Non-Christian Her friend recently got engaged — but her friend’s fiancé is not a Christan. She’s deeply concerned and is wondering if she should say something. Counselor Wendy Brown weighs in.
January 27, 2022
Volunteering in your community, plus Carey Nieuwhof on maximizing effectiveness, and should you reconnect with a high school love interest? Featured musical artist: Hollyn ( https://www.instagram.com/iamhollyn/?hl=en ) Roundtable: Volunteering Where You Live Whether it’s helping the homeless, being on a neighborhood committee, tutoring, or something out-of-the-box, the options for serving your community are endless. But how do you pick something and actually make it happen? How do you find a great fit that uses your gifting and passions? Our guests share how they volunteer locally and the process they went through to choose great ways to jump in and make a difference. Culture: Make the Most of Your Time (Part 1) For years, Carey Nieuwhof struggled with workaholism, which eventually led to his burnout. After much prayer and recovery, he started budgeting his time and energy, and has seen incredible results. In part one of our conversation, Carey shares lessons from research and his own journey, discussing how to find the time when you’re most productive, why achieving balance in your schedule isn’t the best goal, and insights for eliminating ever-present distractions. Inbox: That Crush From High School He asked her out in high school and she rejected him. Since then, he’s grown a lot in his faith, and recently started thinking about her again. Should he try to reconnect with her and see if she’d be interested now? Lisa Anderson weighs in.
January 20, 2022
How to love your extroverted friends, plus a Q&A with author Gary Thomas, and making room for a romantic interest when you have a full life.
January 13, 2022
How to love your introverted friends, plus a Q&A with counselor and author Debra Fileta, and what makes a good small group? Featured musical artist: Darlene Zschech ( https://www.darlenezschech.com/ ) Roundtable: Understanding Introverts How well do you understand your introverted friends? Do you know what makes them tick? Do you celebrate their strengths? Our panel of introverts shares some of the dos and don’ts of a successful introvert relationship, so if you’ve ever wondered how to connect with your energy-conserving friends, you’ll enjoy this conversation. (Don’t worry, extroverts. You’re up next week.) Culture: Q&A With Debra Fileta Author and relationship expert Debra Fileta is here to answer a variety of questions sent in by Boundless fans. She’ll address topics like femininity, maintaining strong mental health, and navigating tricky dating scenarios. She’ll also share both the biggest disappointment and the biggest joy she’s encountered in marriage. Inbox: Finding a Good Small Group Community is essential to living the Christian life well. But how can you find a group of friends who’ll also be a reliable community and a catalyst for growth? Is it best to find a group that only studies the Bible? How deep should the subject matter and sharing be? Does age, life stage or gender matter? Lisa Anderson weighs in.
January 6, 2022
Healthy attitudes for approaching a new year, plus self-care and goal-setting strategies, and hope for emotional eaters. Featured musical artist: Jeremy Rosado ( https://www.instagram.com/iamjeremyrosado/?hl=en ) Roundtable: Out With the Old, In With the New ‘Tis the season to straddle the “what-ifs” of last year and the “if-onlys” of the year to come. But what’s the right attitude and a healthy balance to have as the calendar turns the page? Our guests reflect on both the victories and missed opportunities from 2021 as well as what helps them stay optimistic about 2022. How to Survive Christmas as a Single Girl: https://liveoriginal.com/how-to-survive-christmas-as-a-single-girl/ Culture: The Right Kind of Goals Setting resolutions is all the rage in a new year. But it’s common to set lots of lofty goals only to have them fail by mid-January. The first step in successful goal setting is having the right goals and the right ways of going after them. Licensed professional counselor Easton Coleman and organizational development specialist Andrew Montgomery get down to the nitty-gritty in talking goals and strategies for everything from mental health to professional development to life plans. Inbox: Emotional Eating Her struggle with weight has been lifelong, as has her mom’s nagging about it. She knows her mom means well, but the pressure leads to anxiety which leads to more emotional eating. Can she develop a healthy mindset about food that will give her the tools necessary to move forward? Counselor Elaine Humphries weighs in. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
December 30, 2021
Enjoying your family at Christmas, plus a Q&A with Jonathan Pokluda, and is it wrong to be attracted to others when you’re engaged? Featured musical artist: Daniel Bashta ( https://www.danielbashta.com/welcome ) Roundtable: Making Peace With Family at Christmas While getting together with your family for the holidays can be fun, it can also be challenging. What do you do when your family members don’t get along, or you’re the only Christian around the dinner table? Our guests discuss ways they’ve learned to compromise, set expectations, and enjoy quality time with their families, even when it’s not easy. Culture: Q&A With Pastor Jonathan Pokluda As a pastor and former leader of The Porch, Jonathan “JP” Pokluda has a lot of experience helping young adults. In this fun and thought-provoking conversation, we ask him a variety of questions on topics like: where young adults need to mature, how to develop spiritual rhythms in life, the importance of church, and how he navigates the temptation to be a “celebrity” pastor. Inbox: A Wandering Eye? Her fiancé recently proposed after three years of dating. Before their engagement, she only had eyes for him. However, since getting engaged, she’s noticing other guys and is tempted to compare them to her man. Is this normal or sinful? Counselor Joannie DeBrito weighs in. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
December 23, 2021
Part two of a difficult pro-life story, plus teaching men to pursue marriage, and when your date reveals childhood abuse. Featured musical artist: Covenant Worship ( https://covenantchurch.org/whatwedo/worship/ ) Roundtable: The Hard Side of Choosing Life (Part 2) High school sweethearts at a Christian school, they seemed to be heading toward a bright future. Then came the news that they were pregnant. When faced with this reality, Jarod and Glory Adducci had a big decision to make: have the baby and forever alter their life plans, or choose abortion — something they had said they would never do. Listen to part two of Jarod and Glory’s powerful story. Option Ultrasound ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/option-ultrasound-program-2/ ) Culture: A Mentor for Young Men Shortly after his wife, Lori, died, Chris Peardon felt God calling him to teach young men lessons he learned in his own 33-year marriage. He started a small group with men from his church, and together they’ve talked through how to relate to women, how to prepare for marriage, and how to date well. In this thought-provoking conversation, Chris shares some of the principles he’s taught and the outcomes he’s seen. Inbox: Dating After Childhood Sexual Abuse The guy she likes recently shared that he was sexually abused as a young boy. Out of the pain he experienced, he struggled with same-sex attraction and pornography before becoming a Christian. Even though he’s grown immensely, she’s wondering, “Has he truly healed from his past?” Counselor M.T. Wilson weighs in. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
December 16, 2021
Part one of a difficult pro-life story, plus accepting grace after an abortion, and honoring God with your sexuality as a single adult. Featured musical artist: David Baloche ( https://www.louderthanthemusic.com/product.php?id=2437 ) Roundtable: The Hard Side of Choosing Life (Part 1) High school sweethearts at a Christian school, they seemed to be heading toward a bright future. Then came the news that they were pregnant. When faced with this reality, Jarod and Glory Adducci had a big decision to make: have the baby and forever alter their life plans, or choose abortion — something they had said they would never do. Listen to part one of Jarod and Glory’s powerful story. Culture: When You Regret a Past Abortion Behind every abortion is a story. For many, that story is filled with trauma, shame and regret. But even in the midst of the tears, God forgives and shows grace. Greg Smalley and Joanna Brown share their journeys through abortion including the resulting fallout and the restoration only God could provide. Post-Abortive Recovery Resources: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2021-11-01?refcd=1283701 Inbox: Sexual Energy and the Single Christian Sexual desire is a gift from God. But what do you do with those desires as a single person? Is there a productive way to channel sexual energy outside of marriage? Counselor Glenn Lutjens offers some thoughts on the subject. John Thorington's Inbox: https://www.boundless.org/podcast/money-motivators-episode-511/ Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
December 9, 2021
Guys on being friends with girls, plus finding stability in a transient world, and losing a parent when you're single. Featured musical artist: Kerrie Roberts ( https://kerrieroberts.com/ ) Roundtable: Being Friends With Girls Having friends of the opposite gender can be a lot of fun, but without healthy boundaries and respect, things will quickly get weird. We brought in a panel of guys who describe what it's like to be friends with girls their age. They'll address expectations, appropriate attitudes and behaviors, ways to avoid the awkward "friend zone" and more. Culture: Growing Roots (Part 2) We've all heard the myth, "The grass is greener on the other side." We laugh, but if we're honest, we've all believed it in some way. But what if true joy and fulfillment comes in being content where God has put us today? In part two of our conversation, Pastor Daniel Grothe shares about finding stability with family, making time for meaningful friendships, and what it looks like to find a life-giving church. Inbox: Losing a Parent as a Single Person She recently lost her dad and is feeling lonely. He was not only a great friend and fix-it guy, but since she is single, he was the main man in her life. Is moving on even possible during the grief process? Lisa Anderson weighs in with some hope and encouragement. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
December 2, 2021
Girls on being friends with guys, plus finding stability in a transient world, and when your personality interferes with dating. Featured musical artist: David Dunn ( http://www.daviddunnmusic.com/ ) Roundtable: Being Friends with Guys Having friends of the opposite gender can be a lot of fun, but without healthy boundaries and respect, things will quickly get weird. We brought in a panel of girls (heads-up: next week is the guys' turn) who describe what it's like to be friends with guys their age. They'll address expectations, appropriate attitudes and behaviors, ways to avoid the awkward "friend zone" and more. Culture: Growing Roots (Part 1) We've all heard the myth, "The grass is greener on the other side." We laugh, but if we're honest, we've all believed it in some way. But what if true joy and fulfillment comes in being content where God has put us today? In part one of our conversation, Pastor Daniel Grothe shows us that our futures aren't necessarily somewhere else, how he's found joy in the here and now, and why many church saints throughout history were effective by simply staying put. Inbox: Is Being Type A a Dating Downfall? She's been told by past boyfriends that the traits which make her good at her job — specifically her ability to problem solve and having a stubborn streak — make her bad at dating. Is a personality overhaul in order? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in. Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
November 25, 2021
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About The Boundless Show

Boundless is a ministry of Focus on the Family that exists to see young adults mature in Christ as the foundation for marriage and family. Through our website, blog and weekly podcast, we help singles in their 20s and 30s navigate the path to marriage biblically and intentionally while providing sound resources and advice on key issues young adults face. We discuss everything from dating and relationships to faith, worldview, career and culture in a fun, engaging and relevant way. We’re also on Facebook (Boundless.org) and Twitter (BoundlessTeam).

The Boundless Show is a weekly podcast designed to build community among single young adults and provide a God-centered perspective on relationships, culture, career and faith. Hosted by Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson, The Boundless Show brings a voice to the interests and concerns of today’s 20- and 30-somethings.

About Lisa Anderson

Lisa Anderson is director of Boundless (www.boundless.org) and host of The Boundless Show — a weekly podcast reaching 20- and 30-somethings with the message of God’s design for marriage and family. The show also features practical tips for dating intentionally, owning your faith, navigating career and culture, and maturing in all areas of life.  

Lisa speaks frequently at churches, conferences and workshops, and her writing has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and in Streetwise and The Big Screen — two books in David C. Cook’s Custom Curriculum series.

When not challenging the next generation, she enjoys traveling, running, and quoting her mother, who is known to say outrageous things. She loves Jesus, people, ideas and guacamole, in that order.

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