The Boundless Show

Dating without losing yourself, plus Dr. Greg Smalley on preparing for a great marriage, and when does a relationship reach the “serious” stage?   Featured musical artist:  Stu Garrard   Roundtable: Don’t Lose Yourself in Dating   It happens all the time: Two people fall in love — then go MIA. You don’t see them except when they’re together (if that). But it’s not healthy to lose yourself in another person at any stage, so how can we encourage a healthier approach to dating? What are appropriate boundaries and rhythms to keep in mind? Our guests have walked the dating journey with ups and downs in this area, and they’ll offer ideas for enjoying and getting to know another person without losing your independence.   Culture: Preparing for Your Future Marriage (Part 1)    Many singles dream of finding a spouse. But after that comes…marriage. Marriage is fantastic, but not easy. Are there things to learn before marriage that will set you up for better success in marriage? To help frame our perspective on what makes marriage work, Dr. Greg Smalley instructs us how to think about love from a godly perspective. In part one of our conversation, he’ll address the principles of commitment, seeking God, and honoring your significant other.   Receive the book Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance for your donation of any amount!   Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Podcast   Inbox: When Does a Relationship Become “Serious”?    He’s not been in a serious dating relationship before, but recently started chatting with a girl who lives 1,300 miles away. He’s planning to visit her soon and sees her as someone he could date. But he’s wondering: When does a relationship reach the “serious” stage, and what does he need to know in light of that? Lisa Anderson weighs in.          Boundless Guides to Marrying Well 

Finding joy amid depression, plus Jonathan Pokluda on Christians and alcohol, and should high-schoolers date? Featured musical artist:  Hollyn  Roundtable: Finding Joy When It Feels Impossible Christians are called to live joyful lives; after all, joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit. But how do you find joy when your entire world feels dark and hopeless? Our guests know the deep valleys of depression and anxiety; they have fought for joy in the trenches and have seen God show up. They’ll share their personal journeys as well as insight and encouragement for those struggling to trust God’s goodness from under the heaviness of life’s burdens. Paul’s Book: Beauty in the Browns: Walking With Christ in the Darkness of Depression Link to Counseling Services  Culture: What Does the Bible Say About Booze? For Christians, consuming alcohol is a divisive subject. Wherever you are on the “is it OK?” spectrum, there is biblical wisdom around the issue that everyone should consider. Pastor Jonathan Pokluda shares his own relationship, past and present, with drinking, and he and Lisa discuss current cultural cues around alcohol that could benefit from a healthier, God-honoring perspective. Link to Article: The Latest Buzz Around Christians and Alcohol Inbox: Dating in High School Are high-schoolers too young to date? Why or why not? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.

Detoxing from social media addiction, plus more with JP Pokluda on killing bad habits, and is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready for marriage?    Featured musical artist: Je’kob   Roundtable: How to Detox From Social Media   You intend to “just check” your social media accounts, but a few minutes turn into an hour or more of mindless scrolling. You’ve tried to stop before, but the lure of the screen and its endless notifications are too much. You promise to do something about it…tomorrow. If this sounds like you, it may be time for a detox. To help motivate you, our guests describe what has helped them control the time spent on their phones, specifically with social media. They’ll also talk about the life gains they’ve seen as a result, and share ideas for replacing screen time with real relationships.    Culture: JP Pokluda on Breaking Bad Habits (Part 2)     Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do? Replace Deadly Vices With Life-Giving Virtues    Inbox: Dating Without Marriage in Mind   Is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready to get married? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in.     In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul is candid about his struggle with sin: “Why do I do what I don’t want to do?” Pastor Jonathan Pokluda asks the same question in his latest book (titled exactly that!). We can all relate, but what do we do about it? Is it possible to replace vices with virtues and bad habits with good ones? Is it possible to not let sin have mastery over us? In part two of our conversation, JP will tackle three battles we all face: perception management vs. authenticity, busyness vs. rest, and cynicism vs. optimism.

Evaluating your morning routine, plus JP Pokluda on killing bad habits, and advice for a virgin considering marriage to someone who isn’t. Featured musical artist:  Darlene Zschech Roundtable: The Importance of Morning RoutinesHow you start your day is incredibly important to your productivity and overall well-being — but what works for you may not work for someone else. Our guests share what they like best about their morning routines, what they’d like to change, and the gains they’ve seen from structuring their mornings (even a little bit). If you’re looking to craft a better start to your day, you’ll definitely want to tune in. Culture: JP Pokluda on Breaking Bad Habits (Part 1)  In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul is candid about his struggle with sin: “Why do I do what I don’t want to do?” Pastor Jonathan Pokluda asks the same question in his latest book (titled exactly that!). We can all relate, but what do we do about it? Is it possible to replace vices with virtues and bad habits with good ones? Is it possible to not let sin have mastery over us? In part one of our conversation, JP will share how Christians drift into sin, and tackles two of the book’s main themes: replacing pride with humility, and choosing self-control over lust.Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do? Replace Deadly Vices with Life-Giving Virtues  Inbox: When a Virgin Marries a Non-VirginOur listener is still a virgin but wants to marry someone who isn’t. Are there things to consider? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in with hope and practical advice.

Insight on recent campus revivals, plus the gospel in light of CRT and racial unity, and when your spouse seems spiritually stunted.Featured musical artist:  Jeremy Rosado Roundtable: Understanding Mass RevivalsEarlier this year, we saw spiritual revivals happen at college campuses around the country. There was both excitement and skepticism around these much-publicized events, leaving many asking about the nature of revival as well as its spiritual impact and implications. Two pastors join us this week to explain the biblical interpretation of revival as well as what true revival looks like, plus lessons learned from various revivals throughout history.8 Simple Ways to Boost Your Faith This Year    Culture: The Gospel and Racial UnityFor years, Monique Duson was an advocate of critical race theory (CRT); as a black woman from south central Los Angeles, it seemed like the natural fit. But when she was challenged to look at CRT through the lens of the gospel, Monique changed her tune. While she agrees that CRT raises some necessary questions, she feels most of the assumptions and conclusions presented by CRT run far afield from truth. Monique challenges Christians to approach racial unity from a posture of biblical grace, recognizing what is already ours in Christ. Listen in for a fascinating discussion from a leading thinker in this space. Featured Article: Beyond Racial Division: A Conversation With Sociologist George Yancey    Featured Website: Center for Biblical Unity  Featured Resource: Boundless Guides to Marrying Well Featured Video: Monique Duson’s Lighthouse Voices Event Inbox: When You Question Your Spouse’s Christian WalkWhat can a believer do when his or her spouse professes Christ, but isn’t evidencing the Fruit of the Spirit in their life? Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.

Pastors discuss the meaning of grace, plus decluttering and cleaning tips from a professional organizer, and should we fast to discern God’s will?Featured musical artist: Daniel BashtaRoundtable: A Practical Understanding of God’s Grace Christians love talking about God’s grace — but what does grace really mean for our everyday lives? Is it about salvation? Forgiveness? Just getting through the day? Two pastors discuss some of the misconceptions Christians have about grace, why a biblical understanding of grace is unique, and how grace can empower us to live the Christian life.Culture: Spring Cleaning and DeclutteringSpring is typically the season when we clean out our clutter, tidy up, and get more organized — or at least we say we will. Professional organizer Jaimi Stewart joins us with practical tips for bringing your good intentions to life. She’ll tackle everything from closets to tech to papers to your wardrobe. Get ready to toss, file and give away!Featured Article: The Spiritual Practice of Spring Cleaning Featured Website: The Simple SortInbox: Fasting to Find God’s WillOur listener has some big decisions coming up and has been told fasting can help as she prays for God’s direction. How can she practically approach this? Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.

When your identity is in the wrong things, plus unique advice for Hispanic young adults, and concerns about Christians and romantic entertainment.Featured musical artist:   Covenant Worship  Roundtable: The Identity Traps of Work, Relationships and HobbiesWe all struggle with giving something we value too much influence over us. Whether it’s our career, a relationship or a favorite hobby, anything we love can become a competitor with God for our time and affection. How can we find our identity in who God says we are instead of relying on people, experiences or acclaim to declare our worth? Our guests share their identity traps, how they put them in their proper place, and why they’re learning to find joy in Christ.                  Culture: Reaching the Hispanic Community for ChristEsteban Porras grew up in church, watching his dad preach and seeing many in his community and beyond come to Christ. But as a young adult, he had to travel his own faith journey, and it was influenced by his cultural context growing up in Costa Rica. He recently got married, had a baby and moved to the United States to continue Christian ministry to the Hispanic community here. As an integral part of the Enfoque a la Familia team, Esteban has his finger on the pulse of faith and family among Hispanics worldwide. In this interview, he talks about what trends he’s seeing among Spanish-speaking young adults, dating advice for them as they navigate unique family contexts, and how God is uniquely growing the faith of those in the Hispanic community.    Link to Enfoque a la FamiliaInbox: Romantic Entertainment and the ChristianWho doesn’t love a good love story? In light of that, is it a wise or unwise thing for Christians to watch romantic movies and TV? Is enjoying them a sign that we’re not being careful to guard our hearts? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

Learning to pray, plus thoughts on sexual purity before marriage, and what to do when singleness feels like suffering.Featured musical artist:   David Baloche  Roundtable: How to Pray in a Meaningful WaySome people seem to pray with ease, while others struggle with it. Are there “good” prayers and ways to pray? Our guests discuss some of their challenges with prayer, how they’ve learned to pray, and what it means to be honest with God. If you find prayer a difficult discipline, you’ll be encouraged by this conversation.Culture: Sexual Purity in Preparation for Marriage If you grew up in the church, you may have been taught (or at least assumed) that a discussion around purity was about not having sex before marriage. But instead of a list of don’ts, what if it’s something deeper and ultimately freeing? Tovares Grey is back to discuss ideas around biblical sexuality that are helpful in preparing for a godly marriage. As the founder of Godly Dating 101, he’ll share misconceptions he had about sex, sin and temptation; why we should trust God with our sexuality, and how God redeems sexual brokenness in those who want to be healed. Godly Dating 101: Discover the Truth About Relationships in  a World That Constantly Lies Inbox: Suffering in Singleness?Our listener is struggling to see singleness as a gift. While the Bible says it’s an honorable calling, what do you do when it feels more like suffering? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

Successfully dating long-distance, plus becoming a master communicator, and is it OK to keep finances separate in marriage?Featured musical artist:   Kerrie Roberts    Roundtable: Living Through a Long-Distance RelationshipLong-distance dating can be exciting, but it’s not without its pitfalls. To help those working through long-distance relational dynamics, we brought in guests who’ve walked that journey to engagement and marriage. They’ll share some of the challenges they had to overcome, what God taught them in that season, and what you need to be aware of if you pursue a relationship across states, time zones or even continents.Culture: Improve Your Communication Skills Despite technology that keeps us incredibly connected and reachable, record numbers of young adults feel isolated and lonely. Are real relationships, conversations and connections a thing of the past? Dr. Heather Holleman is a professor at Penn State who joins us this week to offer practical wisdom on improving your communication skills by looking others in the eye, staying attuned to them, avoiding toxic conversations, and learning to listen well.The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility   Inbox: His and Hers Finances?Her friend recently met a guy online, but the relationship is already revealing some red flags. In particular, he has said that if they eventually get married they should each have their own bank accounts, and their assets would always be kept separate in case of divorce. Is this biblical? Should our listener provide counsel to her friend? Counselor Tim Sanford weighs in.

Having a good relationship with your siblings, plus understanding your conflict style, and finding hope after losing a parent.Featured musical artist:   David Dunn Roundtable: Getting Along With Your SiblingsYour siblings will always be part of your story, even when you’re an adult. Learning to love and understand them can be a challenge, whether because of age, gender, personality or experience. This week’s guests discuss some of the challenges they’ve overcome in their sibling relationships, plus how the dynamics have changed with age and life stage, and how to have hope if a sibling relationship is strained or distant.  Culture: What’s Your Conflict Style? Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but everyone handles it differently. To offer practical understanding for managing conflict, Dr. Danny Huerta shares five common conflict styles. He helps us determine our style, the pitfalls of each, and how we can do conflict better by understanding our tendencies. Sharing practical examples from his own relationships, Danny gives us the tools to turn conflict into a positive part of loving others. Link to Counseling ServicesConflict Styles Quiz: Which Conflict Style Do You Have? Inbox: Finding Healing After Losing a ParentFive years ago, Lisa’s mom died after a long battle with dementia. Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things to experience, but healing is possible with God’s help and peace. Lisa offers a few insights that will help you or someone you know walk through the pain of personal loss and grief.