Abounding Grace

Guest (Male): Today on Abounding Grace, our series on the Ten Commandments continues.

Pastor Ed Taylor: How do we respond to the parents that wounded us or abused us? The parents that hurt you and scarred you, and abandoned you, and damaged you? Those are important questions to ask. And here's the answer. What are we to do? We're to forgive them. That's the answer.

How could I possibly honor a dishonoring parent? It won't happen without forgiveness. Forgiveness is the pathway to reconciliation. Now, of course, remember this: forgiveness only requires one person. You and your relationship with God. Forgiveness, which the word has the idea of releasing someone from the debt that they owe you.

So forgiveness is far from approving, it's far from ignoring, it's far from sweeping things under the rug. It's literally acknowledging that a wrong was done and releasing them from that debt. And when you and I choose to release someone from that debt, we also release ourselves. It's a powerful, powerful tool, forgiveness.

Now we often confuse forgiveness with reconciliation, as if if I forgive, then do I put myself back under that abuse? No. Do I allow that dishonoring person then to harm me? No. Because reconciliation requires repentance and change. But nothing is required for you to forgive, for you to release. This is no small thing to God. This is huge, forgiveness, honoring our parents.

Unforgiveness is crushing to the bride of Christ. It is destructive. Unforgiveness will crush you and enslave you and embitter you and even kill you. Jesus taught us that we must love our enemies, bless those who persecute us, even if it's a mom or dad. Not because they deserve it or are worthy of it, but because we must forgive.

Forgiveness is the hallmark of the grace of God in your life. It is the response when we realize how much our Father has forgiven us and invites us still through the blood of Jesus Christ into relationship. Forgiveness flows because of God's grace.

I know forgiveness doesn't alleviate how complex the future may be, how difficult it will continue, how you carry the wounds. The Lord heals. We're all walking around, I think if we step back, we're all walking around with one or two people-wounds in our lives. Or three or ten, or we don't even keep track anymore. We realize it's a part of life.

I do acknowledge that the reality of wounds in the home and to those that you trust, they're deeper than most. But forgiveness is non-negotiable for your progress in the Lord. And the fact that you can forgive someone is proof that you actually have received forgiveness yourself. It's an evidence where you might even say today, "I can't forgive."

But then what's impossible with man is possible with God. It's going to require a supernatural work and surprisingly, as a believer, you're a supernatural work because of the work of God in you and through you. When you forgive and I forgive, we're demonstrating that you're a true child of God.

And here's the problem: if you have and if I have parent-wounds in my life and I don't respond in forgiveness, I'm going to wound my kids. As much as you have that desire to do better than your parents, if you don't deal with this issue, you're going to be in a place where you're going to wound your kids too.

More than you would normally do as a human being because the prison of bitterness, the Bible says, defiles all. The defilement that overflows from a bitter heart overflows to the people that are closest to you, the people that live with you, the little people that you created. And the exact opposite of what you want happens because forgiveness isn't flowing from your life so you can be right with the Lord.

And if there's a dishonoring parent, then that honor begins with forgiveness. I don't really have a roadmap for the future. I don't know what happens after forgiveness. It's going to be different for every family, every situation. Someone will hear this message and then they'll immediately map out the rest of their life and talk themselves out of obeying.

They say, "Well, if I forgive, then this, this, this, and this." I don't know what this, this, this, and this are. I don't know. The Lord, the Holy Spirit will have to navigate you. You just have to go back to the scripture you memorized this January. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and what does he promise? He will direct your paths. He knows the path to go.

If forgiveness is an issue, I meant to bring it up and I forgot, but there is a packet on either side of the stage here or you can email me and I'll send you the PDF that you can print out yourself. It is one of the most powerful—it's small, easy to read—but one of the most powerful teachings on forgiveness that I have ever read.

I read it many years ago having walked with the Lord for so long and I was like, "Wow, this would have been really helpful 10 years ago." It's that kind of packet. So if there's any left up here on the stage, you're welcome to them. But you can always email me. I'll send you the PDF. I actually have quite a bit of resources on the topic of forgiveness because this is a big deal, whether it's with your parents or it's with your neighbor or it's with your boss or it's with your ex.

Forgiveness sets you free and heals the body of Christ and brings back purity to the bride of Christ. And that is an important question here. Let's go to the next commandment, the sixth commandment. It says in verse 13, "You shall not murder." Thank God for that command. Value life. You shall not take the life of another intentionally.

You must respect life in all its forms. Notice it doesn't say you shall not kill. That is a different word. This is murder because there are accidents that happen and there's a word for accidental killing, it's manslaughter. It's not intentional. It wasn't on purpose. This is an intentional form. Later in the Old Testament, God makes the distinction between accidental, which is manslaughter, and murder.

Murder has always been a problem with man. It was the first crime recorded in the Bible was murder. Right out the get-go. In the United States, two years ago, the latest statistics I could find, they recorded 16,425 murders happening every year, which accounts for 45 murders just in the United States every day.

That doesn't include suicides or abortion. The numbers are staggering and it all stems from a lack of valuing human life. God says don't murder. Don't do it. Now, of course, for those of us that live a moral upright life abiding in Christ, this is an easy one. Check. I don't plan on murdering anybody. I value life.

And maybe even the resistance, your thoughts are formed by, "Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail." But murder is kind of a checkmark. Kind of like when the Bible says, "Hey, don't party, don't run around with the partyers." Checkmark. I have no desire to do that anymore. I'm not going to party, not going to go out and get drunk, not going to lose it. Check, check, check.

However, turn with me to Matthew chapter five. Let's not be so quick to check things off without giving room for the Holy Spirit to teach us and to go deeper. And by the way, the fact that you checked off that you don't want to murder, thank you. It will make the visit of the cadets tomorrow a lot easier because they're not going to be looking for you. Thank you.

However, it goes deeper than that, doesn't it? Jesus said in Matthew 5:21, "You have heard it was said to those of old, you shall not murder and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment." Yes, we did hear that. And then Jesus says, "But let me tell you about murder. I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Whoever says to his brother, 'Raca,' shall be in danger..."

I just like saying it that way, "Raca," shall be in danger of the council. And whoever says "you fool" shall be in danger of hellfire. Jesus says that anger is the root of murder. And while we might check off murder, how you doing with anger? Well, Pastor, I'm reading the Bible right here and I haven't called people "Raca" in my whole life. And since I learned "fool," I used to use that word but I use different words now.

Listen, the Christian certainly can be angry without sin. We know that. There's righteous anger. It's not as common among believers as believers would make you want to think, but I make room for it. I do believe that God can inspire within us a holy anger that protects and values the honor of God. I get that.

Ephesians 4:26 is very clear. "Be angry, do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath." Jesus, God in human flesh, sinless, He demonstrated a righteous anger as the temple was being used to take advantage of believers. But too often this isn't the case among us. We don't call our brothers and sisters Raca, but I'll tell you a real popular word that's being used all the time: when you call someone an idiot.

That's along the same line, where you have such an opinion and such an emotive response to something or someone where you go, "Oh Raca." Now you say, "You idiot," or perhaps even add a "stupid" in there. Jesus is talking about the heart of man. And we skim over these things because we checkmark. "Well, I don't have any intention of murder," but have you murdered someone in your heart?

And the answer is yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm not looking at anybody but yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes online. Of course we have. So the Lord's always going deeper on us. There's a deeper truth, a broader work that God wants to do in our lives. So watch out for the anger that's unrighteous.

Watch yourself and pay attention with words that would demean someone out of anger. Idiot, ugly, stupid. The idea with the word "fool" is that you're considering someone else as worthless and wishing they were dead. It's not just a word, there's a meaning behind it. When God is telling the nation of Israel to not murder, He's certainly advocating the value of life, but there's something deeper.

There's a difference between rituals and relationship, between rules and relationship. Rituals are far less important. The outward is far less important. If we did your background check and there's no murder on it, that's far less important, although that's valuable because you've begun well. Some people have even lost the value of human life.

We have families in our church that have lost lives because of murder, physically. I've met many families that face the challenge of the loss of life. It's heartbreaking. It's just the worst of the worst. But because we can check that off as that's not a part of our life, Jesus says, "No, no, no, you don't even need to worry about the checkboxes because I'm after your heart. I'm not just after the outward behavior."

It is a significance of what God is wanting to do in our lives. Sin that's unconfessed, anger that's seething, offenses that go and build a case against someone, they all hinder our ability to worship and connect with God. You can jot it down in Isaiah 59, verse two. So we have a key here for us in enhancing the worship life. God says, "Your iniquities have separated you from God and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear you."

Coming back to Matthew here quickly, Jesus gives this little instruction about, "Hey, okay, so the topic of anger is on your mind. You've heard about murder, but I'm going to talk to you about a murder that is far more common." And He says then once you realize that, come back with Matthew chapter five and look with me in verse 23.

He says, "If you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way." The context really of your brother has something against you is your anger toward them. Unresolved. Expressed. There's a very good chance Jesus is talking about the person that you Raca-ed and you called a fool.

He says if you realize there's things unresolved that are within your power to resolve, be reconciled to your brother. Make it right. Then offer your gift. God is far more interested in the relationship part of our worship than just the offering of a gift. But the easier part is just give the gift. Jesus says no, it's not one or the other, it's both.

First be reconciled, then come. Agree with your adversary quickly while you are on the way, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer and you be thrown into prison. The Bible would speak to us as much as depends upon you, live at peace with all men. If your brother's offended you, you go to them.

Imagine if the church was filled with all the little offenses that we all have. We all go through them, we're humans. But can you imagine if a church service—like the next time we gather together this weekend—everybody's just trying to find each other? "Hey, I'm really offended but I was looking for you because I think I offended you." And we're just all weeping here and crying trying to make things right.

I've never seen a service like that before. However, I have seen people make things right. I have seen people seek people out. I've had people come to me and go, "I want this to be... please Pastor, I want to talk to you before service starts." And they're wanting to apply this. It's like, "I just want to make things right." It's like, okay, share it with me.

And you'd be amazed what the Holy Spirit will do when we present ourselves to Him. We have these internal arguments and debates in the church, like "What's the best worship? Well, we need better music or we need better preaching or we need better whatever." But a deeper worship experience comes through deeper relationship with the Father. That's it.

You can enjoy any music if you're in tune with the Lord. And you can enjoy any preaching if you're in tune with the Lord. No exclusive voice is going to be used in your life if your heart's right with the Lord. You'll just hear from the Lord. Even with the worst delivery, you will hear from the Lord. Why? Because you're worshipping the Lord.

And God will use people in your life, doesn't matter who they are. The dryness goes away as relationships are mended. The emptiness dissipates as forgiveness is extended. The passion returns as mercy is received and the burden of weights of guilt and shame and brokenness are lifted. And the emphasis here is placed upon the worshiper, you and me.

Does that mean we track down every person we ever hurt? No, it doesn't mean that. The keyword in this text is "there." As you come to worship, as you're seeking the Lord, as He speaks to your heart, and you respond to that moment of the Holy Spirit. We don't need to be digging up old hurts. We don't need to be digging up old offenses.

We just need to be seeking the Lord. As you and I abide in Christ and seek the Lord, it's amazing what He will do in speaking to your heart and your life and empowering you to obey Him. And you live a free life. There's nothing better in your walk with the Lord than to live in His freedom. You're just like, "I'm so free."

Recently I heard something that happened that may or may not affect me, and I just remember my response. I remember my response. I said, "I'm free. It doesn't really matter what they do. I am free. It sounds like as they're describing, it sounds like they're in bondage. I'm not in bondage." And so we'll have to wait to see how it sorts out.

And it's just a great way to live your life. I love the Lord, He loves me. And because I love the Lord and He loves me, I can love you. And hopefully I can receive—I hope you love me. Hopefully we love each other and we can receive that and grow together in grace. We're just free. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty and freedom.

And it's not a misuse of freedom. I don't need to go in-depth into that. Like, "Well, okay, am I free to sin?" No. That's not freedom, that's bondage. "Am I free to compromise?" No. Because the Lord will never lead you to sin. And the Lord will never lead you to compromise. That's not freedom, that's bondage.

Freedom is the enjoyment of your sins being forgiven and your life is hidden in Him. You don't even need to worry about murdering your brother in your heart because you love the Lord. And even if you've got a problem with that brother, that sister, you love the Lord, and the love of the Lord comes through you. Amen?

Guest (Male): You're listening to Abounding Grace with our teacher and pastor Ed Taylor and part of our study of Exodus. We'll hear more from Pastor Ed in a minute. You can hear this message again online at aboundinggraceradio.com or listen through our app. Search for Ed Taylor in the App Store or Google Play.

Maybe you're looking for a good book to go through. Here in the month of March, we've picked out an excellent one written by Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips. It's titled Anger Is a Choice, and it provides counsel and exercises to help us better understand the causes of anger, how to control it, and how lack of control affects us physically and spiritually.

We'll send you a copy when you support Abounding Grace with a gift of $25 or more. Just call, ask for Anger Is a Choice. Our number is 877-30-GRACE. That's 877-30-GRACE. You can also order online at calvaryco.store.

Abounding Grace is made possible through the generous support of our listeners. And as we continue to deliver God's word one verse at a time, we're looking to our listeners for help. Together we can reach people with the love and truth of Christ and make a difference in these last days. To make a secure donation, drop by aboundinggraceradio.com or call 877-30-GRACE. Pastor Ed is back with us now to have us think through one final verse.

Pastor Ed Taylor: Here, let me share scripture before we leave. Proverbs 4:23. "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Guard your heart, church. It's a very important place that the Lord wants to be the ruler and reigner. He wants to rule and reign your heart. Give it to Him. Let Him rule you and reign you. Heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Guest (Male): Our study of the Ten Commandments will resume next time on Abounding Grace with Pastor Ed Taylor. We'll see you then. Abounding Grace is brought to you by Calvary Church Colorado here in Aurora.