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Pastor Ed Taylor: Is this something you can relate to? Unfortunately, many times, this is just the way it is in some relationships. The more you love, the less you're loved. You give all that you have and get nothing in return except the satisfaction and the contentment and the peace that your love and service was motivated by the Lord and was unto the Lord. And that's where you rest until or if something changes. It's a difficult place for a person to be, but all too familiar.

Guest (Male): Hello friend, and welcome to Abounding Grace with Pastor Ed Taylor. Have you ever loved someone very deeply, poured your heart and soul into their life, and had that met with ingratitude, or not have them love you in return? It's an all-too-common experience and can be very hurtful and disheartening. You might be surprised to find out that the Apostle Paul experienced this too, as we'll see today in our study of 2nd Corinthians 12. The more he loved, the less he was loved in return.

Pastor Ed Taylor: I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls. And here's one of those sad verses in the Bible. I mentioned last weekend that one of the saddest verses in the Bible was in John chapter one, where Jesus came to his own and his own received him not. How sad. Well, here's another one in verse 15. Though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.

That's sad. That's in the church. That's from a man that has sold his life out to serve the church the rest of his life. This is the same man that went through all the things that he endured, all the difficulties, all the sufferings: shipwrecks, beatings, all of that. We've already studied that in depth. This is the same man that said, "You know, the more I love you guys, the less you love me."

It's like John 6:66. What a bad verse, but that is a bad verse. John, the sign of the beast, 6:66. It says this: "From that time many of his disciples went back and walked with him no more." That's sad. That's super sad. In Luke chapter 18, another sad verse, verse 22: "When Jesus heard these things, he said to him, 'You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.' But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich."

How about this sad verse? "Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that he had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, 'I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.' And they said, 'What is that to us? You see to it!' Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hanged himself." That wasn't God's heart for Judas. That's a sad verse.

Philippians chapter two, verse 19: "But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state." That's pretty sad. From John 1 to Philippians chapter 2, to Matthew 27, Luke 18. Now here: "the more I'm loved, the more abundantly I love you, the less that I'm loved." That's pretty sad.

Paul makes it clear by repeating that he doesn't want anything from them. He's not seeking what they have. He's just seeking them. He misses the relationship. He misses the relationship that they shared and he's ready to give them everything that he has in order to restore it. And yet, the more he loves them, the less he's loved. I would say that there's deep hurt in these words. At least I see it, I feel it: deep pain.

And sometimes, unfortunately, many times, this is just the way it is in some relationships. The more you love, the less you're loved. You give all that you have and get nothing in return except the satisfaction and the contentment and the peace that your love and service was motivated by the Lord and was unto the Lord. And that's where you rest until or if something changes. It's a difficult place for a person to be, but all too familiar.

So he says in verse 16, "But be that as it may," he just accepts it for what it is. "I did not burden you. Nevertheless, being crafty, I caught you by cunning. Did I take advantage of you of any of the things whom I sent to you? I urged Titus, and sent our brother with him. Did Titus take advantage of you? Did we not walk in the same spirit? Did we not walk in the same steps?"

Again, Paul goes back and forth with strong words and a little sarcasm thrown in to get their attention. He was being accused of being crafty and he says, "Look, I've craftily caught you guys." Maybe they were saying something like, "Paul won't take any money from you, but watch. When he takes the money that he says is for Jerusalem, he's going to keep it for himself." Who knows what they were saying. But he says, "We caught you because when I sent Titus to you, Titus served you well, just like I said he would."

Verse 19: "Again, do you think that we excuse ourselves to you? We speak before God in Christ. But we do all things, beloved, for your edification. For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you as such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you as you do not wish; lest there be contentions and jealousies and outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions and backbitings, whisperings, conceits, and tumults."

Which, by the way, Paul in Galatians says that those are all the works of the flesh. James would tell us that this is evil from the pit of hell. This selfish ambition comes from not from above, but from below, James would say. He says in verse 21, "lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced."

Paul's concern that his defense might be misunderstood as excuse-making, and it wasn't. Paul's not making any excuses. He has nothing to excuse. He says, "We speak before God in Christ," it said there in verse 19. "We do all things for your edification." That's a word to build you up. But to end today, I want you to focus on the pathway that he's taking them, which is the pathway and the true solution.

And the true solution is found in verse 21. He mentions it in the negative. He says, "I hope those of you who have sinned before have not repented." He says, "I don't want to come and then there's not repentance." So in the positive, he could say, "You guys, this is the way out. This is the way to solve it. This is the way to end it. Repent." That's been a consistent theme throughout the Bible.

From the very beginning of Adam and Eve deciding that they would rebel against God and run away and try to cover themselves, and now they see their nakedness and they're trying to hide from God. All God was calling them was to turn away. "Don't hide, don't cover yourself, come back to me." And all throughout the Scriptures, you'll see over and over again someone straying and going away. The answer's always repentance. It's always repentance.

I looked the word up. We use it so often. I looked it up in the English dictionary and this is what it means: to turn from sin. That's what Webster's Dictionary defines repent as: to dedicate oneself to a change of life, or to feel regret or contrition, or to feel sorrowful. Now, we look back in 1st Corinthians, the difference between worldly sorrow and Godly sorrow and repentance, so I'm not going to go thoroughly on this.

By way of reminder, the Greek and the Hebrew meanings are far deeper than just emotions, but they speak on the word repentance directly to a change of mind. And the key with repentance is not simply changing your mind, but that through the changing of mind, there will be a corresponding change of action. Because here's the thing, if you haven't noticed yet, what you believe dictates how you behave.

What you believe dictates how you behave. That's why the Bible says that we're being transformed by the renewing of our mind. Why? Because when our mind changes, our actions change. You can do actions and not really believe them. You can do actions and not be really repentant. You can go through the motions and not really have a true repentant heart. But a repentant heart will always lead to change of actions.

And repentance is heavy. He says, "I don't want to find all this stuff here. I don't want to find people that haven't repented. That's the issue. The issue is repentance." So if you're taking notes, let me give you a few things to be concerned about in relationship to repentance. Number one, repentance is a change of mind. Repentance is a change of mind. It begins with a change of our mind and it changes the way we see things, what we understand.

First of all, it's a change of mind about who we are. We change our mind about who we are. And contrary to most popular authors and even a few Christian teachers, repentance leads us to know that we're not that big of a deal. We're not that big bundle of potentiality. We're dependent people that are needy and desiring more of God in our lives. When we're weak, he's strong, not the other way around.

Repentance will start to show us our great need. When we see the potentiality in ourselves and all of that, there's a word for that in the Bible: it's called pride. And pride is insidious. True repentance recognizes the sin in my life and my utter need for a Savior. And repentance always leads to salvation. Repentance always leads to God being rescued from my present condition.

And by the way, repentance doesn't always feel good. Go ahead and jot that down. Write that one down: big letters, just so you know, right there with a big nice red heart on there. Repentance doesn't always feel good. But not only do we change our mind about who we are, but secondly, repentance includes changing our mind about who God is.

The process of repentance: we change our mind about our current view of God and immediately we begin to realize the holiness of God, the power of God, the order and authority of God. We begin to see ourselves as truly needy and dependent, in need of forgiveness. We see our own sin and brokenness, which then will lead us to see—and it's not always in this order, sometimes you change your mind about God first and then you see yourself—it doesn't matter what the order is, but I'll tell you, this is the process.

When we sin, we sin first against God, a holy and righteous God. That's what David declared. He saw it and goes, "Man, I've sinned against God and man." In the presence of God, we cry out like the angels in heaven, "Holy, holy, holy," and we begin to see God for who he is again. And thirdly, we change our mind not only about ourselves, not only about God the Father, but we change our minds about who Jesus is.

Repentance: we change our mind about Jesus and remember that he's our Savior and he loves us. He doesn't want to see me go down this path. He doesn't want me to destroy my life. He doesn't want me to continue in this direction. And so you know what Jesus does through the Spirit? He starts to remind me of passages of his love and his faithfulness.

He begins to remind me, and if you haven't already, you need to really memorize Romans chapter 8, verse 1. He reminds me there's no condemnation there. You're changing your mind about who God is and you're like, "Oh, you're so holy." You change your mind about yourself and go, "I'm so dependent." You change your mind about who Jesus is. He's not out after you.

The Bible says that your sin will find you out. It's not that God is chasing after you. He doesn't need to chase after you, but your sin will find you out. He and the Bible actually says it this way: "Be sure that your sin will find you out." Why we hold on to it, I don't know, other than ingrained pride. And we're reminded of his care for us. We're reminded of his character. That's why communion is so regularly taken here at Calvary. It's intended to remind you of his goodness and his grace, to draw near to him.

We remember that it's on the basis of faith in him that I'm saved, that I'm saved from this horrible, rotten behavior. I've been delivered from it. I remember that he's the only answer to my miserable condition. A change of mind. Secondly, repentance involves a change of heart. A change of heart. I want you to know that repentance will touch your emotions.

You say, "But Ed, I don't have any emotions." Wait until you're truly repentant. You'll feel things you haven't felt in a long time. Repentance will involve your emotions. God, and you can put it this way, God is going to get to the heart of the matter. And he will as the Holy Spirit works deep down inside of you. True repentance always touches the heart.

Remember we learn in 2nd Corinthians chapter 7 the difference between worldly sorrow and Godly sorrow. Worldly sorrow leads to guilt and condemnation. It's the idea of, "I'm sorry I got caught, but I'm not really sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I got caught. Sorry." And you never really change. Godly sorrow, the Bible says, leads to repentance. It leads to recognizing the pain that has been done and asking for forgiveness, not making excuses.

It'll touch the heart. It's one thing to feel really bad about your present condition. That's one thing. But it's a whole other thing to feel really bad enough to make a change. So repentance will touch the heart. That's exactly what David felt in Psalm 51, in his psalm of repentance. You read Psalm 51 for homework. You'll find out how heart-wrenching it is, how emotional it is, how he's wrestling with the reality of his own sinfulness and the pain that he's caused.

Not only that, I mean, how would you like to have it written down, put in the Bible for every person in the whole world to read the rest of your life, and have your name associated with the difficulties that you were in? Most of the time God doesn't require that. That was a special thing for David. Most of the time you can just come clean before the Lord, make it right with people, and God will let you move on.

But until you come clean before the Lord, until you make it right with other people, you're not moving on. Repentance: because the pain of repentance reminds you that innocent people have been hurt. The pain of repentance reminds you that there are people that have been wrongly influenced. The pain of repentance involves the feeling of your distance between you and God that really is necessary.

So yes, repentance will involve a change of mind and, secondly, a change of heart. And thirdly, a change of direction. Repentance: a change of direction. Your whole life is changed and shifted in the right direction. Isn't that what happened when you were born again? I'm going to hope, like 1st Corinthians 13 says, love hopes all things. I'm going to hope that you're not the same person you were before you got saved.

I hope I didn't meet that person. I don't want to meet that person. I never want to know that person, ever. But it is fun to look at some pictures from time to time and go, "Man, you can see it in your face what a different person you are." You can see it in your face. You can see it in your surroundings. I'm looking at you today and I see this picture of you 20 years ago and I'm like, "Man, not only is that mullet nice-looking, but—" no, I'm just kidding.

You're a different person. You can see it in your face. Some of you lived such a hard life, it was in your face. It was in you, but when you were born again, see, that's the real repentance. No repentance really takes place until you have true repentance before God for your sins and receive the newness of life. Repent and be baptized for the forgiveness of your sins.

John the Baptist comes preaching repentance. Jesus comes preaching repentance. Peter preaches repentance. Paul preaches repentance. James preaches repentance. You know why? Because the Holy Spirit preaches repentance. God the Father preached repentance in the Garden of Eden. It's all over the Bible. A change of mind, a change of heart, and a change of direction. I don't see much change. I'm going to question you about your repentance.

Now, I don't know because repentance truly is between you and the Lord, but the Bible tells me that I know a tree by its fruit. So if I start to see some rotten apples, I'm going to ask you about what's going on in the roots. I'm not going to be your judge and jury. That's a big mistake that people make where they're like the judge, the jury, and they sentence people. That's God's business, it's not my business. I'm not going to judge you, but I certainly will open the Bible to you and go, "Come on, this is what repentance looks like. Have you changed your mind?"

"Oh yes, Pastor." "Have you felt the weight of what you've done? Do you know the people that you've hurt? Do you understand?" Or whatever the situation was. "Oh yes, Pastor." "Have you changed?" "Not so much, Pastor." "Well, let's go back and talk about your mind. Do you really see it the way God sees it? Do you really see yourself in light of who you are in Christ? Do you really see yourself in light of what Jesus, do you realize the love of God? Do you realize the holiness of God? Do you realize the love of God?"

Because it's the goodness of God that leads to repentance. Do you see how gracious he's been? Do you see how patient he's been? That's really the danger, isn't it? Because in another place in the Scriptures, it says, "Because a sentence or because something hasn't been dealt with right away, man decides that he's just going to continue to do evil." That's basically what it's saying. The paraphrase is this: I think it's in Ecclesiastes. Because a sentence isn't handed down right away, man's heart is fully set in himself to do evil.

In the paraphrase version, I'd put it this way: because you haven't been caught or you haven't paid a price yet, you think you're getting away with it. You're not. That's really the paraphrase. You're not getting away and I'm not getting away with anything. The Holy Spirit is dwelling in believers. The Holy Spirit's dwelling in you, drawing you to a place of humility.

Now, I know that if the issue in repentance has to do with another person, that you may find yourself where Paul was: the more you love, the less you're loved. You just make sure you're right with the Lord. You just remain—that's really all you can control anyway, is your personal repentance, your life with the Lord where you can stand above reproach because repentance always involves action, right action. It's inward, yes: a change of mind and a change of heart, but it's demonstrated outwardly.

And I think it was Charles Spurgeon that said that you'll recognize true repentance by the outrageous restitution. That true repentance will be related directly related to the outrageous sin. Like Zacchaeus, he's a great picture. Zacchaeus wasn't even told to do anything. He was just so broken by the presence of Jesus that he knew he ripped people off. He knew that he took advantage of people and he went without anyone telling him and gave above and beyond, giving back much more than the law even required.

Why? Because that brother had a change of mind. He saw himself in the holiness of God. He was introduced to Jesus himself. He recognized in his own self how much he was loved, and all the people can be flashing through his mind of all the people that he had hurt. And I remember as a new believer over the years of all the people God would just keep bringing people to mind. I remember going to my 10-year high school reunion many, many years ago.

I remember going and just so burdened to go around to the people that I hurt, and there were a lot of them. And just look them in the eye, "Man, I am so sorry. If I was a Christian back in school, man, I would have never done that to you." And some of them didn't remember what I did. Some of them didn't want anything to do—they didn't even want to forgive me. But I remember this burden. I didn't hear a Bible study to go do it. I just knew I was going to be with all these people that all I did was just mess with their lives and somehow directly or indirectly hurt them, some deeper than others, and just have a burden to have that weight lifted, to go and say, "Man, I wish I would have been saved in high school. Things would have been different."

And then, you know, they're looking at me, "I wish you were saved in high school too, man." And I still remember that brother. I pray for him every time the Lord brings him to mind, who didn't want—to this day he doesn't want—he doesn't even want to connect with me on Facebook, man. He just like, didn't even give me a chance to unfriend me. He unfriended me a long time ago. And maybe one day the Lord will soften his heart and one day I can look at him and go, "You know what, bro? I know. I know I gave you—" Maybe the Lord's just going to use that in his life to draw him to a saving faith in Jesus. And then we can meet on that level.

But there's that heart to change. There's heart to make things right. No matter what it takes, you just make things right. You come clean. You come clean before the Lord and outward change. That's what Paul's saying as he ends and we'll come up to the next section next time. But that's like, "I don't want these selfish ambitions, backbitings, all this stuff. Just repent, man, and make it clean before I come and we can move forward. We can move forward in the things of God." And he says in verse one of chapter 13, "This will be the third time I'm coming to you. By the mouth of two or three witnesses, I told you before." And we'll get into that, so read ahead. We'll be there soon enough.

Guest (Male): Pastor Ed Taylor on Abounding Grace. His message today was taken from our series in 2nd Corinthians and you can hear it again online at aboundinggraceradio.com. Pastor Ed, as you were talking about Paul's experience where the more he loved, the less he was loved in return, I right away thought of the parent-child relationship. And perhaps there's a parent listening right now that has a wayward son or daughter. They're loving them but not getting very much in return. Would you leave them with a word of encouragement and even pray for them?

Pastor Ed Taylor: You know, this is more common than people really know, especially for those parents that are dealing with a prodigal. They kind of think that they're the only ones, and then what could they have done differently? Or maybe got saved later in life and are beating themselves up and just filled with regret. I want to encourage you, don't look backwards but look forwards. Look into the eyes of Jesus. He loves you and, imagine how much love you have for your child, God loves your child even more than that.

And if they are a true prodigal, then we know Jesus left us a parable giving us that depth of a spiritual truth that the prodigals do come to the end of themselves and they do come home. And that's what we want to pray for: that they would come to the end of themselves. And I know it's a hard prayer to pray, like whatever it takes. But that's our heart's desire: whatever it takes to bring our kids back into a deep relationship with the Lord.

And so let's pray right now. Father, I pray for those parents that are diligently seeking the best for their children, wanting them to come back to a real full relationship with you. I pray, God, that you would bring them to the end of themselves, that they would finally draw on empty pockets and finally see the emptiness of the world in which they're living and return to the God that loves them, that they might live lives of surrender and commitment and obedience. And we look forward to the testimonies and we look forward to the parents calling and letting us know, emailing us, and declaring for everyone to hear that their prodigals come home. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Guest (Male): Amen. Thank you for sharing that and for praying, Pastor Ed. I'm sure someone really needed to hear that. Well, each month we like to suggest a book that will encourage you in the Lord, and this month it's "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. Maybe you've been on a search to find God's will and you're stuck or frustrated, waiting for clear and unmistakable direction.

In this helpful book, you'll learn that God doesn't need to tell us what to do at each fork in the road. He's already revealed his plan for our lives: to love him, obey his word, and after that, to do what we like. He says, "No need for hocus pocus, no reason to be directionally challenged. Just do something." We'll send you a copy with our thanks for a gift of $25 or more to Abounding Grace.

Please remember, it is through your support that we're able to present this radio program on stations all across the nation. Thank you for standing with us. Call 877-30-GRACE and we can help you with the ordering details, or go to our online store at calvaryco.store. We'll return to 2nd Corinthians next time on Abounding Grace with Pastor Ed Taylor. May God richly bless you with his abounding grace.