Revive Our Hearts

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says that in the grand scheme of eternity, singleness is a momentary reality, and also a deeply meaningful one. Jesus is coming. So live your life now as a single in light of eternity, and realize that if you are single, you have an opportunity to do some things in light of eternity that perhaps you couldn't do if you were married.

Dannah Gresh: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Lies Women Believe and the truth that sets them free. For August 5th, 2026, I'm Dannah Gresh. We're continuing in the series Embracing Singleness, featuring Nancy's teaching. She first shared this encouragement to singles back in 2002, but God's Word is beautifully timeless. And that's what Nancy gives us. Let's listen.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: If you're a single woman who has a desire to be married, chances are you've spent some time thinking about the benefits and the blessings of marriage. But have you ever stopped to make a list of the blessings and the benefits of singleness?

We're talking this week about the gift of singleness. The gift that a lot of people aren't sure they want. But the Scripture says that marriage is a gift in the will of God, that singleness is a gift in the will of God, and that both those gifts have their challenges.

They both have areas where sacrifice and suffering and surrender are required, but they both have benefits and blessings. The danger is that we would tend to focus on the benefits and blessings of the gift we don't have. We're conscious of the gift somebody else has and the benefits and blessings they have, and we tend to focus on the suffering and the challenges that we have with our gift.

If we were to talk to the married woman, we would probably find that she's focusing on the challenges of her gift and focusing on the blessings and benefits we have with our gift of singleness. So it's important if we are single to take some time to think about what are the blessings and benefits that we have as singles. And again, we want to go back to the word of God to get our perspective.

We've been in the seventh chapter of First Corinthians this week and we're picking up in verse 25 today, where Paul begins to address singles specifically. Yesterday we talked about some general principles, whether you're married or single. Paul says, "Don't be always trying to get a different gift than the one you have. Accept the gift you have, receive it with Thanksgiving and let God use that gift in your life."

Now, beginning in verse 25, he's going to talk specifically about singles. He says, "Now about virgins, those who are not married. I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy." Paul's saying the Lord Jesus didn't specifically address this topic. But he has given me direction and insight and wisdom that I'm going to share with you as the Apostle Paul.

Now, today we want to talk about some of the benefits and blessings that Paul outlines here, beginning in verse 25. And the first two we want to look at in the session today. First of all, he says that singleness provides freedom from certain kinds of pressures. Singleness provides freedom from certain kinds of pressures, versus 26 through 28. Paul says, "There are certain kinds of pressures in the world and there are certain kinds of pressures in marriage. And singleness gives us freedom from both of those."

In the world first, verse 26. "Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned." It's not more spiritual to be single. It's not more spiritual to be married. It's spiritual to do what God has called you to do for that season of life. And he says, "If a virgin marries, she has not sinned."

So Paul's saying it's permissible to marry, but it's not always advisable. He talks about the present crisis in verse 26. He said, "There's a crisis going on." Now, he doesn't tell us what the crisis was and we don't really know. We do know that the early church experienced intense persecution and that there were those, as the gospel was spreading, who had to travel as Paul did to preach the gospel and share their faith.

And I think Paul is saying, "There's some crisis going on now in the spread of the gospel or in the persecution that's taking place where for some it's better to have a single life." There are some pressures in this world, some adversity, some problems that are going on in this world that there are some benefits to being single. And we look around in our world with, I think we're living very much in the end times and things are coming to a head in this world.

And Paul might say the same thing today, "Because of the present crisis, I think it's good for you to stay as you are. If you're single, there are some pressures that are going on in this world that you will not have to experience in the same way that you would if you had to look out for yourself and a mate." So he says, "You'll have freedom from those pressures." And then he says in verse 28, "There are some pressures in marriage."

"That if you don't get married, you won't have to experience. You'll have freedom from some of those pressures." Verse 28, the second part, "Those who marry will face many troubles in this life. And I want to spare you this." That word troubles is the Greek word thlipsis. And it's a word that means to press together. He's saying, "When you get married, you're going to have some pressures. You're going to be pressed together. Two people living together under the same roof requires surrender. It's a pressure."

I remember talking to a friend who had she and her husband did not marry until they were in their 30s. And I saw her after they'd been married for a few months and I said, "Kathy, how's it going?" And she said, "Now this is a couple who loved each other. They had both looked forward to marriage. They had wanted marriage. They were, you know, both committed Christians." And her first sentence was, "Marriage is a crucifixion."

Now, she didn't regret marrying David. They love each other. They've now been married successfully for many years. But a successful marriage requires crucifixion. You have to die to your own rights, die to your own ways of doing things. And I see some heads nodding and they're probably women who are or have been married. And Paul says, "This is not a slam on marriage. Marriage is good and make sure by the way that you're not staying single because you want to avoid problems that maybe God wants you to experience in marriage."

Singleness is not to be an escape. And yet Paul says, "If you're called to be single, and if God gives you that gift, there are some pressures you're going to avoid." He's saying marriage is not a cure all to all your troubles. You'll have troubles in marriage, you'll have troubles in singleness. They may be different troubles, maybe some of the same troubles, but marriage doesn't solve every problem. In fact, marriage creates some problems.

And let me say this by the way, whatever kind of single person you are, you are likely to be the same kind of person once you're married. Becoming married doesn't automatically make you a different kind of person. So my counsel to single women is deal with your issues while you're single. If you ever intend to be married or if you think God ever intends to have you married, make sure that you deal with those issues and don't think that marriage is going to deal with those issues.

Marriage will only bring those issues to the surface and make them more obvious. Now, Paul's not saying that there aren't pressures with being single. He's just saying, "There are some pressures that as a single you will not experience." And then Paul says, "There's another benefit and blessing of marriage." And that's that you're able to focus on eternity, to live more in light of eternity.

Verse 29, he says, "What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on, those who have wives should live as if they had none. Those who mourn as if they did not. Those who are happy as if they were not. Those who buy something as if it were not theirs to keep. Those who use the things of this world as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away."

If you've been to a play that has a lot of different scenes, you know that sometimes between the scenes they'll bring in a new set of scenery to show you that the setting has changed. And you'll have stage hands, they'll take the sets on and off the stage. He says, "This world is like a changing set on a stage. The scenery is changing, the scene is changing, everything is always changing in this world. This world is a set that's passing away. It's being taken off the stage."

And so Paul is saying, "Hold loosely to things of this world." Because this world isn't it. This world is just a dressing room for eternity. So he's saying, "Live your life in light of eternity. The first order of business is eternity." This world is passing away. And Paul is saying, "I want you to prepare for the eternal world, the heavenly world where the scene is unchanging, where you will live forever."

I love that little stanza of Amy Carmichael, the single woman who went as a missionary to India. She said, "All that grieves is but for a moment. All that pleases is but for a moment. Only the eternal is important." Do you get that? Singleness has things about it that grieve us. Marriage has things about it that grieve people who are married. But she said, "Everything that grieves us is just lasting for a moment. It's not permanent."

And singleness and marriage both have things about them that are pleasant and are joyous and are great to experience. But she says, "All that pleases is but for a moment." So don't hold on too tightly. Only the eternal is important. My dad used to have on his desk a little piece of marble with a verse etched on it. And when he died, I got this piece. It was a verse that I heard him quote, not a Bible verse, but a piece of poetry that I heard him quote many times over the years.

"Only one life will soon be passed. Only what's done for Christ will last." And Paul is saying the time is short. Eternity is long. Jesus is coming. So live your life now as a single in light of eternity, and realize that if you are single, you have an opportunity, as he's going to say later in this passage, to do some things in light of eternity that perhaps you couldn't do if you were married.

Remember that marriage is not permanent. Now, it is as far as this life is concerned. But the Scripture says in heaven, there is no marriage. Marriage is a picture here on this earth of an eternal reality and that is Christ's love for His church and the redemptive plan of God. But marriage is not eternal. It's for this life only. It's a temporal passing relationship. So don't pin all your hopes on getting something that is passing away. That you're not going to have forever.

In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul Paul talks about the importance of living with a sense of urgency in light of the shortness of the time. And he says, "Make the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." The days are evil and they are short. And Paul says, "Redeem the time. You don't have much time. So make the most of your time. Take advantage of every moment, every hour, every day, every week, every year that God gives us."

You know what that says to me? It's really foolish and it's short-sighted to waste one single day of my life pining away for something that God hasn't given me, for marriage. Now to have those desires for marriage is not wrong. But to let those desires control my life and to begin to pine away and to be discontent, to waste one day with discontent, seems to me to be a great sin, and a great tragedy, a great loss to waste the opportunity that God is giving you and me right now to serve Him.

So say, "Thank you, Lord. The time is short, eternity is long, and I want to live my life in such a way that when I stand before You in eternity, I'll have something to show for my life. Not that I spent my life wasting away, pining away, wanting something You didn't give me, but that I received the blessings and the benefits of what You did give me, and I've made something out of that gift. And now I give it back to You for all of eternity."

Amen.

Dannah Gresh: Amen. You know, we've been listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss because she was single at the time she recorded that. She was talking to a group of unmarried individuals back in 2002. She was helping singles learn to be content with the gift God has given to them. Now, she'll be back in a moment to pray. Today I have two women who are in the process of really the learning lab of singleness. Charmaine Porter and Katie Lightkep. They've been with us the past two days.

Charmaine and Katie, welcome back.

Guest (Female): Thanks, Dannah.

Guest (Female): Hi, everyone.

Dannah Gresh: Hey, what stuck out to you today as Nancy turned our hearts toward the vision of thinking about everything in light of eternity? Charmaine, we'll go with you first.

Guest (Female): Okay. I work at Impact 360. It is a gap year discipleship / leadership program in the small, small town of Pine Mountain, Georgia. It is as small in this country as that sounds. But I've been working here for about nine years. I'm heading into my tenth year. And one of our big, big values here is stewardship. We talk about it in so many different ways: internally, externally, with our finances, with our time, with our relationships, with energy.

And as I was thinking and preparing about what I heard Nancy say, I like these words, these three words stood out to me: "steward the gift." Steward it. It's been given to you. It's up to us, with the help of the Holy Spirit, with the help of community, I believe, with honesty and integrity in all the ways and how that looks to open it up, see what's inside of that gift, see how it works.

See what you can do with it. See its limitations, see its boundaries, see its potential, see what does it feel like on. What does it feel like on this day when I'm when I'm in this situation versus this other day when I'm in another situation, steward it. And I it was something that Nancy said right towards the end, she said, make something out of the gift and now Lord, I give it back to you.

And it reminded me of the parable of the talents. I don't know if we always think about our relationship statuses as that as it's a gift that's been given to us and the Lord is saying, I've given this to you just do something with it. To to glorify my kingdom to potentially even maximize it, whether you're married, are you married with the mission with the mission of eternity in mind? Are you married with the kingdom in mind?

If you're single, are you spending your singleness stewarding that gift so that you can bring more glory about in the kingdom? That that was huge for me. And that that actually was a conviction as well as encouragement for me as I listened to Nancy personally.

Dannah Gresh: That is so cool. You know, since you are making stewardship a big deal at Impact 360, I bet you have a definition of it that would help us understand how we apply that, whether it's to singleness or marriage. So how do you define stewardship?

Guest (Female): Stewardship, I think is receiving. You can't steward something that you have not accepted and received. That's the first thing. You have to receive it. And then I think it's asking the Lord, "Now what do you want me to do with it?" What do you want me to do with it?

And I think for me, speaking of your relationship status, if you're married, "Okay, Lord, what do you want me to do with this marriage?" If you're single, "Okay, Jesus, what do you want me to do with this singleness?" But it's a this is where I am. This is what I have. This is what I'm bringing to the table. I'm interested in music or I'm interested in and finance or I love children or I'm really good with animals. Like, Lord, with who you created me to be, with this thing that you've allowed me to experience, how do you want me to go about using this for your kingdom?

So receiving it and then asking the Lord, how do I maximize it?

Dannah Gresh: I think what I'm hearing you say is don't be passive with it, be intentional.

Guest (Female): That's another one of our words, Dannah, intentionality.

Dannah Gresh: I remember when I became an empty nester, uh, someone telling me, there's a there's a gap between actively parenting and beginning to grandparent where you experience a freedom that's unique in your life. And you are either going to passively waste that and just go through it without realizing, oh, I've got extra hours, extra evenings, extra weekends open here. Or you're going to be intentional.

And so Bob and I went on a road trip and we talked about just how do we ring out that extra time for the Kingdom of Jesus. And like, it was maybe five or eight years, wasn't like a super big season of our lives, but we did. We ran hard because of what you're talking about, like somebody told me, sit down, look at this period and basically they were telling me to steward it. So that's a really good invitation. Any other thoughts on that because I think that's really big. Somebody is starting to think about singleness differently because of what you just said, I believe.

Guest (Female): In Jesus' name, I hope so. I hope that that is an encouragement. And I I do hope that that there's a sense of empowerment as well that comes with that. I love what you said, Dannah. You got to slow down sometimes. This is the life that you have. Not saying it will be the life that you have forever, even as we know Nancy, she got to experience the gift of singleness for about 50 years. Then she got to experience the gift of marriage and now she's experiencing the gift and I'm saying that by faith cause I I know my my father was widowed. So I know the difficulty of that life.

But she's experiencing the gift that the Lord has given her and widowhood, but you got to sit down and ask the Lord. Slow down. Lord, this is what you've given me. This is how I feel about it, too. I think he is, he is our good shepherd, he is our father, and he wants to hear that. I do not believe in any form of disassociation or spiritual bypassing. I reject all of that. I think that we get to, not I think, Scriptures tells us that we get to come and cast our all of our burdens before the Lord because he cares about us.

And you can insert the word feeling in that. You can cast your feelings and tell him about what you're thinking and tell him about what you're feeling because he cares about you. So come before him, Lord, this is what you've allowed in my life. This is how I feel about this, what I'm thinking about it, and what do you want me to do with it? I love that. Slowing down and asking being intentional with it.

Dannah Gresh: That's great. I love that. Katie, you know, what has the Lord allowed in your life that is requiring you to think in light of eternity?

Guest (Female): So like for me the last few months have looked really different. I have a younger brother. He's 28 and he moved out of state at the beginning of this year to go to graduate school. And a few months ago he was diagnosed with stage three cancer. And he's also someone who's not yet married. He's single and because he's out of state, he would have been going through this by himself. And when he was diagnosed in that moment, because I don't have a husband and children that I'm committed to here.

I just knew as soon as we were told he was going to have to start chemo within 24 hours, I was able to pack a bag and move up to stay with him throughout his entire treatment process. And it's not a situation that I would ever wish on anyone, but it's one I'm I'm grateful for. I'm grateful that I've been single in the midst of it because I had the freedom to drop everything and go.

And I think around Revive Our Hearts, we always say that your family is your your first line of ministry, it's your first priority. And as a single woman, that's my biological family that I grew up in. It's my church family. And so to be single means that I can pour into those that are suffering within either of those families. Whether it's showing up for my brother while he's going through cancer or someone in my Sunday school class that's just having a really difficult time, like we get to use these single years and use our time to get to to be a presence in someone else's life. That's a gift.

Dannah Gresh: You know, Katie, you're talking about being a first responder. You're talking about going to ground zero moments in people's life. And my experience is that I experience God in a much more profound way in those hard times than I do when everything's going fine. So that means that you're there at the ready to counsel hearts, to pray with people when their hearts are most open and most receptive to what God may need to do in their hearts and lives to prepare them for eternity. Did you experience some of that when you were with your brother?

Guest (Female): Yeah, I think it's the privilege of singleness is getting to do that and and through the process of serving him I'm getting to experience Christ's love for me in a way that I I didn't know before because I can't serve on my own strength. Nothing, none of that's going to happen naturally or of my own efforts because I am still a very selfish, sinful woman. But the Lord through his grace as he's offering it to us, he enables us to serve others. And so I'm getting to see him and how he strengthens us for the task that's ahead of us.

Dannah Gresh: Yeah, well, Katie, Charmaine, thank you so much for being with us. Charmaine, you know, Charmaine told us a few minutes ago a little bit about what she's doing to serve the kingdom. I'd be remiss not to mention some of the great ways you, Katie, are serving God and preparing hearts for eternity through some of our resources here at Revive Our Hearts. So Katie, tell us a little bit about what you do and what's available maybe specifically for single women through Revive Our Hearts.

Guest (Female): So I work as a full-time writer for Revive Our Hearts and one of the projects that I have been really excited about over the last year is a brand new challenge that we created just for single women. Now, if you've been around the ministry for a long time, you've probably heard of the Husband Encouragement Challenge. That one has been, I think it's deeply impacted thousands of women over the years, but we never had anything to offer single women.

So we have created a 30-day challenge just for single women, and it's not even just for young single women. We actually, we had a woman who was a widow who wrote in to the ministry and her testimony just brought me to tears because she talked about how she'd lost her husband and she still was raising kids and through this challenge of getting to spend 30 days in the word and in prayer and really seeking the Lord for the season of her life, she was able to remember that he's good and that Jesus is enough, even when she doesn't have a husband.

So I would encourage any single woman out there, regardless of your age, regardless of why you're single, if whether you've never dated before or if you have been married and now you find yourself single again for whatever reason, I would say go to the website, sign up for the challenge. You can start it at any point. It's completely free and I think it will be transformative.

Dannah Gresh: You can find these resources at reviveourhearts.com. We'll link to the singleness encouragement challenge in the transcript of today's episode. Well, if being content as a single woman seems difficult to imagine, then be sure to tune in tomorrow. We'll hear about a college student who has learned to be content. Now, here's Nancy to close us in prayer.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Thank You, Lord, that You have given us the opportunity, many of us, to serve You as single women. And forgive us for our foolishness sometimes for wasting hours and days and weekends and evenings, pining away for something we wish we had and think would make us happy if we had it.

Thank You for Your word that tells us there are some blessings and some benefits that we can have as single women. I pray that You'll help us to embrace those. To thank You for them and to make the most of them. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Dannah Gresh: This program is a listener supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.