Paws & Tales

Gooz: Look at that beaver here. Did you know that we have a big blank wall in the clubhouse that needs to get filled up? So, how about this? Parents, take a photo of your child listening to Paws & Tales wherever they happen to listen. It could be comfy places, funny places. You know, we'd love to see them. And I will personally post these photos on that blank wall for all to see. I’ve got some tape right here. Just send them into pawsandtales.org. This is so fun!

Eunice McGruff: You broke my urn, you little criminal!

Stacy: Me? I'm not—

Eunice McGruff: It was priceless, and you will pay.

Insight for Living: Welcome to the world of Paws & Tales. Wild Mountain can be a pretty dangerous place, but stay on the trails and stick with me. There's adventure to be had there, too.

Insight for Living is proud to present Paws & Tales. Howdy, and welcome to Wildwood. It’s been tough in class today. Now, Miss Harbor teaches something new every day, and the class, for the most part, learns something new every day. Today, however, Miss Harbor is trying to teach the class to think differently. This is a much more difficult prospect.

Stacy: I don't get it.

Miss Harbor: Stacy, it's not a problem that you can solve in the normal way. In fact, there's not one single answer.

Marsha: There's more than one answer?

Miss Harbor: There are several, CJ. Perhaps many.

CJ: My head hurts.

Miss Harbor: You must all quit trying to come up with the right answer and think about the question in a different way. Let's go over it again. Remember, the three steps for problem-solving are number one, state the problem; number two, consider the options; and then number three, evaluate the possible result. Ned, please state the problem for the class.

Ned: Well, the assignment says we must get food to a small village in the mountains.

Miss Harbor: Now, that was the assignment, but that is not stating the problem. You must ask questions before you can truly understand the problem. Stacy, ask some questions that will help us.

Stacy: Well, what kind of food do they need?

Miss Harbor: Excellent.

Marsha: Who is the food for?

Miss Harbor: Wonderful, Marsha.

CJ: How far away is the village?

Miss Harbor: Very good, CJ. What if we did not think through these things, spent a lot of money to buy wagonloads of corn, and we then get it to the village only to discover that they have lots of corn? Corn is everywhere. What they really needed was milk for the children. All of that time and money and effort would have been a waste.

Ned: How embarrassing would that be?

Miss Harbor: Okay, I have an idea. I was going to give this to you in a few weeks, but I think it may be needed now. A new assignment. Write this down now. Number one, this is due Friday at the beginning of class. Number two, I want each of you to bring in everything you will need to successfully complete a treasure hunt.

Gooz: Treasure hunt?

Miss Harbor: Yes, Gooz.

Gooz: Now you're talking.

Miss Harbor: Number three, you must be able to carry it all on your backs. And number four, you are not to discuss your plans with anyone else but me. The one who is the best prepared will get 100 points. The rest of the class will get a zero.

Stacy: Wow, that doesn't seem fair.

Ned: Plus, we've never had an assignment like this before.

Tiffany: Winner takes all. I like it.

Ned: Well, Tiffany, aren't we smug? What makes you think you'll win?

Tiffany: I'm a Rockler. Trust me, I know about treasure.

Gooz: What's smug? What does smug mean?

Ned: It means she thinks she's right and she's being snotty about it.

Tiffany: You'll see. Just wait.

Ned: She did it again, didn't she? Indeed she did. Smug alert!

Miss Harbor: All right, class, that's enough.

CJ: Miss Harbor, I would just like to apologize now for getting the 100 points.

Tiffany: No chance of that, Mr. Big Talker.

Miss Harbor: Did you all write down the directions exactly as I gave them to you?

Students: Yes, Miss Harbor!

Miss Harbor: Good. Now, please begin your list of items or your list of questions, but do not talk to anyone but me about your plans. This is going to be fun.

Gooz: I don't want a zero.

Insight for Living: Well, the whole class was strangely preoccupied with this new project. It's all they wanted to talk about, but they couldn't talk about it. So, later on the way home, that's what they talked about.

Gooz: I don't like it. Everybody but one will lose.

CJ: Guess that's life.

Tiffany: Well, let's see how tough you are when I win and you lose and I make you cry like a little girl.

CJ: No chance of that.

Marsha: I want to pick blueberries.

Ned: Well, I don't. I always get sick when we pick blueberries. Marsha, will that make you feel better?

Marsha: Maybe. Yes.

Ned: Well then, let's pick blueberries.

CJ: Of course, let's pick blueberries. Who listens to Ned anyway? I'll catch up later. I'm taking a basket of cookies over to Eunice McGruff.

Ned: Eunice McGruff? She's back?

Stacy: Yep, back to stay. Moved into the mansion with Miss Collins.

Ned: You're taking a welcome basket to Eunice McGruff?

Stacy: Yes, why not?

Ned: She's mean, and she hates kids. She hates me! She's mean.

Gooz: Could that have anything to do with your breaking her vase? Gooz! Smug alert!

Stacy: Everybody new to town gets a basket of cookies. That's my rule. Anyone want to come?

Ned: No thanks. Not me.

Marsha: She sounds kind of scary. I don't want to go.

CJ: Sorry, I've got a treasure hunt to get ready for.

Ned: We can't talk about it! I shouldn't have said that.

CJ: You can talk about the project. You just can't talk. Oh, I give up.

Eunice McGruff: Yes, what can I do for you?

Stacy: Hi, my name is Stacy Clemmer, and I would just like to welcome you to Wildwood. This is for you.

Eunice McGruff: Really? Thanks, Stacy Clemmer. Is this from the church group?

Stacy: No, ma'am.

Eunice McGruff: The ladies' auxiliary?

Stacy: No, ma'am. Just me. I try to welcome everyone new to Wildwood. It's just something I do.

Eunice McGruff: Really? That's very impressive, Stacy Clemmer. I think you are a girl I would like to get to know more.

Insight for Living: Well, the two of them sat there on the front porch of the Collins mansion and chatted for the better part of an hour. The more they talked, the more Eunice became impressed with Stacy. Then old Stace got serious and started telling Eunice McGruff things she hadn't told anyone before.

Stacy: And sometime next month, it will be born.

Eunice McGruff: Ah, so then you will be a big sister.

Stacy: Yep, I guess.

Eunice McGruff: Not very pleased about it, are you?

Stacy: Well—

Eunice McGruff: You can be honest with me, Stacy Clemmer.

Stacy: My folks are turning my room into a nursery. All they talk about is the new baby, and I'm getting treated like last week's newspaper.

Eunice McGruff: I understand completely. I have a younger sister, and it was the same for me.

Stacy: What did you do?

Eunice McGruff: I was sweet and nice and miserable. Tears. Till one day when I was in my teens, I made a decision that you should make now.

Stacy: What's that? What decision?

Eunice McGruff: You should decide to take life on your terms. Decide what you want and go after it. You should be the captain of your destiny. Don't let anyone stand in your way.

Stacy: I didn't think you could do that.

Eunice McGruff: Most people don't. Most aren't strong enough. But I was, and I think you are, too. No one wants you to be happy more than you do. It's your job. If you want money, go after it. If you want fame, don't stop until you have it.

Stacy: Wow, I do want to be happy.

Eunice McGruff: And those who love you want that for you, too. But it is up to you. You make your own map and you steer your own ship to find your own treasure. Take charge of your life.

Stacy: Yeah, prepare for a treasure hunt. I can do that. I am doing that.

Eunice McGruff: Are you ready for your future, Stacy Clemmer?

Stacy: I am.

Eunice McGruff: Then say it after me. I am the captain of my destiny.

Stacy: I am the captain of my destiny.

Insight for Living: Hi, Dave Carl, creator of Paws & Tales here. I've been a children's pastor now for 14 years, so I know it can be a confusing world to raise your kids in. Paws & Tales was designed from the beginning to deliver one big message in hundreds of creative ways.

That message: God is just crazy in love with his children. Kids need to hear that, and so does every adult. All of us here at Paws & Tales want the whole world to hear this message, but we need help to do that.

Would you join us in this mission to invite kids and their parents to receive the love that God is offering to his children? Just log on to pawsandtales.org, click on the donate button, and support us with a donation of any size. It would be so great to have you join the club.

Well, Stacy left Mrs. Eunice McGruff with her head in the clouds. It all sounded so good. Make your own map, go on your own treasure hunt, get what you want. Problem is, and deep down Stacy knew it, that's not the way it works. If you make up your own map, you end up very unhappy because you end up very lost.

Gooz: Oh, I'm sick. I told you I'd get sick, and now I am. I hope you're happy.

Stacy: And what do you think would cause that? Hey, Stacy.

Ned: Hey, guys.

Stacy: I've made my own map.

CJ: Splendid.

Stacy: I'm the captain of my own destiny.

CJ: Really? What's that? What's destiny?

Stacy: I'm going after my treasure, and none of you can stop me.

CJ: I wouldn't dream of stopping you.

Ned: Treasure! Stop! We can't talk about that. Miss Harbor said—

CJ: She's making me nuts! Gooz is making me nuts.

Stacy: No, not that treasure. My treasure. My happiness. It's my turn now. I want to be happy.

CJ: Okay, what are you going to do to be happy?

Stacy: I don't know.

Gooz: I'm sick. I want to go home.

Stacy: No! What? No, we're not going home. I just got here and I want to pick blueberries. We will all pick blueberries. Now.

Gooz: I'm going to be sick.

Ned: Oh, you're being ridiculous. I'm going home.

Stacy: No! I want to have fun picking berries. You can't go.

Ned: I've already picked enough.

Stacy: You are standing in the way of my happiness. Pick more berries!

Gooz: Okay.

Ned: Well, Captain, you've made Ned angry and you've made Marsha cry. Happy now?

Stacy: This is not making me happy! I am going home.

Insight for Living: Since old Stace decided that her life's goal is to get what she wants and to make herself happy, she's been more miserable than ever before. So she went back to talk it over with Eunice McGruff.

Stacy: So far, it's been a total disaster.

Eunice McGruff: Well, Stacy Clemmer, no one said that happiness was easy. I will tell you what. Tomorrow afternoon, I am attending a tea party with a small group of the most influential women in Wildwood. I am sure that they would be charmed to meet a lovely, polite up-and-comer like you. Would you like to join me?

Stacy: You mean it?

Eunice McGruff: Come meet me here tomorrow afternoon and you can accompany me to the tea.

Stacy: Wow, I'd love to.

Eunice McGruff: Do you have a nice dress?

Stacy: Well, yes, I do.

Eunice McGruff: Well, you will want to look the part. You should always look the part, Stacy Clemmer. Looking successful and becoming successful go hand in hand. The goal in life is to get what you want. Your friends are holding you back. I think you may be ready for a new class of friends that will help you get where you want to go.

Insight for Living: Well, everyone hoped that a good night's sleep would get Stacy back to her old self. But they were sorely disappointed. She was selfish and demanding all day at school, and then stormed off and headed home right after school to work on her treasure project. So the club had rambled up to the fort, hoping to find something to do before they got there.

Ned: Well, my stuff is so heavy that I can barely lift it all.

CJ: We shouldn't be talking about this.

Ned: Haha, but Miss Harbor didn't say that we needed to carry it all the way north to the—well, all the way. North?

CJ: No, she didn't. We just have to be able to get all the stuff to class.

Ned: We should talk about something else, guys.

CJ: You'd need a camel to carry all that stuff in real life. Marsha, cover your ears. Camel! Yeah, right.

Ned: Have you guys thought that we have no idea what the treasure— Quick, cover your ears! Sometimes I'm embarrassed to know you two. I'm going to go talk to Miss Harbor. I don't think any of us know what we're doing.

Insight for Living: The next morning, everyone in class came to school separately, trying to keep their secrets from the others. One by one, they came to the steps of the schoolhouse with huge and mysterious bags over their shoulders. Well, most of them anyway. And there was Stacy. Old Stace came next, but to the surprise of them all, she came in her best Sunday dress.

Ned: Well, look at you.

CJ: What's with the dress? Got a job interview?

Stacy: I should have expected as much from you both. I'm going to make something of myself, and that requires that I look the part. I'm an up-and-comer in this town.

Marsha: Well, I think you look very nice in a dress, Stacy. Thank you, Marsha.

Ned: Wow, Stace. Look at you. She reminds me of someone.

CJ: Queen of Sheba? Very good. Knock it off, CJ.

Ned: No, no, really. She reminds me of—oh, who is it? Queen of England?

CJ: No, not the Queen of England. Seriously, someone else.

Marsha: Queen Bee?

Stacy: That's enough! All of you. What do you know about anything? You think you're so smart. Hey, Stace, they were just kidding. You know what you all are? You're bumpkins, all of you!

Tiffany: That's what I've been saying for some time now. Finally, someone agrees with me. Nice dress, Stacy.

CJ: It just came to me! Oh no, I've become—you remind me of Tiffany! I've become Tiffany.

Ned: Welcome, everyone, to my new podcast, Ned Knows. Today, my guest is my good friend Gooz. Gooz, why do you think that Paws & Tales is amazing?

Gooz: I love Paws & Tales because it's funny and really deep. Some things are only deep and not very, you know.

Ned: Yeah, we get it. Yes.

Gooz: And funny. Paws & Tales is both.

Ned: It is indeed. This isn't going as well as I imagined. So funny and deep. Deep, I know.

Gooz: Wow, Ned really does know.

Ned: You're right. Well, thanks for being with us for another episode of Ned Knows.

Gooz: Paws & Tales is both funny and deep.

Ned: Look, it's my podcast, and I can have the last word, okay? Goodbye.

Gooz: Deep and funny. Go!

Insight for Living: Well, Stacy was stunned. All the work she had done this last week, all of the mean things she had said and done to make herself happy had turned her into the worst kind of person. In the awkward moment that followed, the kids all carried their bundles quietly into class.

Miss Harbor: Well, good morning. What a quiet group you all are. Stacy, what a pretty—

Stacy: Yeah, yeah, pretty dress, I know.

Miss Harbor: Yes, well, I am very anxious to see what you all have come up with for our first treasure hunt. Who wants to go first?

CJ: I think it would be best if I went last. That way the others won't have to go after me and get all embarrassed.

Ned: Oh, brother.

Miss Harbor: I appreciate your thoughtfulness, CJ, but I think we should take that risk. Why don't you go ahead?

CJ: Okay. So, Tiffany, where is your stuff for the treasure hunt?

Tiffany: I don't have any.

CJ: Suit yourself. My tools and provisions include some things that I invented just for this treasure hunt. Very impressive. This, for instance, is a pith helmet that has dark glasses built into the rim. If the desert sun gets too bright, flip down the glasses.

Ned: What desert sun?

Miss Harbor: That is very nice, CJ. Thank you. Sorry, you get a zero.

CJ: What?

Miss Harbor: Ned, your next.

CJ: I'm not done yet!

Ned: Excuse me, Mr. Big Talker. I, too, have invented some things that I will need to get to the gold mine. This fur coat is not just any fur coat. It is—

CJ: You'll die of heat stroke in that. Why would you take a fur coat to the desert?

Ned: Well, Mr. Rudinski, that is because the treasure is not in the desert. Where did you get that idea? It's the gold from a mine in the Yukon.

Marsha: It is? Well, who changed it from the South Seas island?

Ned: If you would have listened just a little more closely—

Miss Harbor: Thank you, Ned. You get a zero as well.

Ned: What?

Miss Harbor: As do you, Marsha.

Marsha: But I worked really hard.

Miss Harbor: Gooz, what did you bring to find the treasure?

Gooz: Nothing, Miss Harbor. Oh, Gooz.

Miss Harbor: Do you know where the treasure is?

Gooz: Yes, ma'am, I do.

Ned: Where?

Gooz: In the closet.

Ned: Oh, brother.

Miss Harbor: That is correct. Why? Do you know what the treasure is?

Gooz: Yes, it's a big A+.

Miss Harbor: That is correct.

Stacy: I don't get it.

Ned: That's not fair. You told us that it was gold from the Yukon.

Miss Harbor: I did not. She said that it was—

CJ: You didn't tell us where it was, did you?

Miss Harbor: I did not.

Gooz: Here it is!

Stacy: The treasure was a big cardboard A+?

Gooz: Yep.

Ned: Well, how did you know that?

Gooz: I asked Miss Harbor. Goofballs, all of us.

Miss Harbor: You all ran off and worked hard, made plans, even made pretty maps, but you had no idea what the treasure was or where you should even be looking. Very poor problem-solving skills. Gooz realized that she didn't know these things, and she went to the one person who did know. She asked me, and I told her.

I do not want any of you to go through life working hard and looking for something that is not there because you didn't ask the right questions.

Insight for Living: The whole class was out of sorts the whole rest of the day, but none as much as Stacy. She just couldn't gather all of her thoughts about how she'd been acting, and yet everything Eunice McGruff said seemed to make so much sense. She marched straight to the Collins mansion for a little talk before they were going to head off to the tea party together.

Guest (Female): Well, hello, Stacy. How are you?

Stacy: Not fine. Is your sister-in-law—is Mrs. McGruff in? I'm a little early, but—

Guest (Female): She told me you would be here. She's gone ahead without you.

Stacy: She what? She told me to meet her here.

Guest (Female): Stacy, come on into the parlor. I need to fill you in a little about my dear sister-in-law.

Stacy: Am I supposed to be there?

Guest (Female): No. She, you see, she met Tiffany Rockler and she's going with her.

Stacy: I got dumped? I did everything she told me to do, and then she dumped me for Tiffany?

Guest (Female): What did she tell you to do, may I ask?

Stacy: To do whatever it takes to be happy.

Guest (Female): Of course.

Stacy: She told me not to let anything keep me from what I want.

Guest (Female): She's told me the same things for years. She's wrong, Stacy. Couldn't be more wrong.

Stacy: But I want to be happy. I want to be the captain of my destiny.

Guest (Female): I dearly love Eunice, but she has given you the worst sort of advice. Do not try to be captain of your destiny. Do you know what your future holds?

Stacy: No.

Guest (Female): Then how will you know what to go after? You will be on a journey without a destination.

Stacy: Or a treasure hunt without a map.

Guest (Female): Precisely.

Stacy: I've already had some experience with that sort of thing.

Guest (Female): Really? Don't go off looking for a treasure when you don't know what it is or where to find it.

Stacy: Well, you are a lucky cub to know that so early in life. So then what do I do? I want to be happy.

Guest (Female): First, it is important that you understand this. Do you really know that you cannot choose your destiny, that you should not even try to?

Stacy: Yeah, because I don't know what it'll be, and I'll just waste all my time working for lots of money or being famous, and it may not be what I should even be doing after all.

Guest (Female): Splendid. You now know a truth that eludes grown-ups around the globe.

Stacy: But I still want to be happy. How do I find what I'm supposed to be really looking for?

Guest (Female): What if you could go to someone who knows what you need and has plenty of it?

Stacy: Well, that would be great if they would know.

Guest (Female): God, Stacy. God knows what you want, what you need, and he has plenty of it to give to you. You just have to understand that you can't get these things from any other source. Only God.

Stacy: Well, I guess that makes sense.

Guest (Female): Don't go searching for some treasure; search for God. That's what we were made for, to search for God and to find him. And the plans he has for you are better than the ones you have anyway.

Stacy: Really?

Guest (Female): Let God be the captain of your destiny, Stacy.

Stacy: Yeah, let God be my captain.

Insight for Living: (Singing)

So you're gonna take a trip

But you don't know where you're going

And you've got to pack your stuff

Will it be hot? Will it be snowing?

Well, it'd be smart to ask the one

Who knew where you're going and what you're gonna do

Because you sure don't need a snorkel

If you're hiking in the Alps

And if you're headed off to Hula in Hawaii

Snowshoes are out, no doubt

All on our own, we're lost, we're way off course

So before I hit the door, before I hop on my horse

I'm gonna stop

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna seek God every day

Because he knows which way to go

So instead of being silly

Going willy-nilly

I'm gonna let my Father lead the way

You know that life is like a journey

And the Bible is the map, easy to fold

God will always be your compass, your tour guide

He knows exactly where you're at, you are here

He'll show you left from right and right from wrong

So before I grab my bag and carry on

I'm gonna stop

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna seek God every day

Because he knows which way to go

So instead of being silly

Going willy-nilly

I'm gonna let my Father lead the way

If I'm looking for joy and fortune and fame

Or in high-falutin' firm, la-di-da

Then I'm on the wrong trail, just chasing my tail

And we all know where that ends

So if I hit the highway and do things my way

I'll wind up in Timbuktu, with the flu

Because at life's intersections, you really need directions

So here's what I'm gonna do

I'm gonna stop

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna seek God every day

Because he knows which way to go

So I'm gonna let my Father lead the way

I'm gonna stop

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna seek God every day

Because he knows which way to go

So instead of being silly

Going willy-nilly

Or trying to dilly-dally

Through every hill and valley

Or thinking I should wander

Here and there and yonder

I'm gonna let my Father lead the way

To order a copy of today's program, Captain of My Destiny, just log on to pawsandtales.org. Captain of My Destiny was written and directed by David Carl. The song, Gonna Let My Father Lead the Way, was written by Sandy Howell and Mark Edward Lewis. Music was by Tim Hosman, and our sound designer was Jerry Swafford. Paws & Tales is an Insight for Living production and a proud supporter of Keys for Kids Radio.