Adventures in Odyssey

Chris: Hi, this is Chris. Welcome to Odyssey. We're just getting ready for a time of wonder and discovery, so why don't you get the whole family together and join us for another exciting adventure in Odyssey.

George Barkley: Testing one, two. This is working. Okay, here you go. The Barkley Family Chronicles, take one. This is a tape for Stewart Reed Barkley.

That's you, Stewart. See Daddy with a microphone? No, Stewart, don't eat the microphone. Give it to Daddy. Give it here. Thanks, Stew.

Jimmy Barkley: Hey, Jimmy here telling you for all your insurance needs, you can just...

George Barkley: Jimmy, cut it out. This is supposed to be serious, Stewart. You're only a year old now, but maybe you'll appreciate hearing this when you're older.

Jimmy Barkley: Yeah, when you're older and looking for a cassette tape to record over, this will be the obvious choice.

George Barkley: We want to tell you a story about Pokenberry Falls.

Donna Barkley: It's in New England, by the way.

George Barkley: Thank you, Donna. We want to tell you about our trip there.

Jimmy Barkley: And why we went there.

Donna Barkley: And what happened while we were there.

George Barkley: Well, you'll see. The story begins once upon a time when I got a mysterious postcard in the mail.

Donna Barkley: That's not where it started, Dad. It started after the postcard.

Mary Barkley: She's right, George. It really started the day you graduated.

George Barkley: All right, it started at my graduation from seminary.

Guest (Male): William Bailey. George Barkley.

Jimmy Barkley: All right, Dad! I love the robe!

Donna Barkley: Way to go, Dad! Yeah!

Mary Barkley: Love you, George! Wave to Daddy, Stewart.

Guest (Male): Jamie Fellows.

George Barkley: Well, afterwards my family spared no expense and took me to Burger World for a graduation meal.

Jimmy Barkley: It was Stewart's idea. He loves Burger World.

George Barkley: Really? Is that why we always put him in a high chair and feed him Cheerios while we try to choke down those greasy burgers? I don't believe it. Are you guys listening to this unappreciative...

Donna Barkley: The tape's still running, guys. Allow me. Stewart, you used to love Burger World because it had a lot of bright colors and a man in a clown outfit.

Guest (Male): Hi, kids! Welcome to Burger World. Is everybody having fun? Great! Tell me, honestly, Mr. Clown, you really like wearing all that makeup, don't you? It's a hobby! Have fun at Burger World!

Jimmy Barkley: Nice choice. Thanks for bringing me here.

George Barkley: We just wanted you to see what kind of job opportunities you'll have now that you graduated from seminary.

Donna Barkley: How are you at playing bicycle horns, Dad?

George Barkley: Stewart, the Cheerios go in your mouth, not in your nose. Seriously, Dad, now that you've graduated, when are you going to get a real job?

George Barkley: Well, funny you should mention it, but there is a potential offer in the works.

Mary Barkley: What does that mean? Yes, George, what does that mean? You didn't tell me about an offer.

George Barkley: Well, I wanted it to be a surprise. Tom Riley told me this morning that the pulpit committee has made a decision. They're going to recommend to the church that I be hired as the full-time pastor.

Mary Barkley: That's wonderful, George!

Jimmy Barkley: Great, Dad! Regular paychecks are here again.

George Barkley: Not so fast. The church hasn't cleared it yet.

Jimmy Barkley: Yeah, sure, as if they won't.

George Barkley: Maybe they won't, and maybe I'll say no if they do.

Mary Barkley: You're kidding. Why would you say no?

George Barkley: Because I'd want to pray hard and long first just to make sure it's God's will.

Donna Barkley: Leave it to you to take the spiritual point of view.

Jimmy Barkley: You're such a pastor.

George Barkley: Tom suggested we get out of town for a few days while the church talks about it. He figured we could use some time away, all things considered.

Mary Barkley: Yes, but where? Just because you graduated doesn't mean we suddenly have money.

George Barkley: True, but we could...

Ellis Birch: Excuse me, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. Well, no, I did mean to eavesdrop. To be honest, maybe I could help you with that question.

Jimmy Barkley: You can? What are you, a travel agent?

Ellis Birch: No, sir. My name's Ellis Birch. I sent you a postcard.

George Barkley: You sent me a postcard? You know who I am?

Ellis Birch: I sure do. You're why I'm here. Don't think I'd come to Burger World otherwise.

Jimmy Barkley: Not even for the clown?

Ellis Birch: It wouldn't even be in Odyssey, either. I'm the one who sent you the postcard from Pokenberry Falls a couple of weeks back.

Mary Barkley: Pokenberry Falls. I remember.

George Barkley: Yeah, all it said was, "Wish you were here." We couldn't make any sense of it. You sent it?

Ellis Birch: Thought it might pique your interest a little.

George Barkley: I thought it was a mistake.

Ellis Birch: No, no mistake, Pastor. I'm here to represent the First Church of Pokenberry Falls.

George Barkley: Oh. Represent them for what?

Ellis Birch: Well, to be honest, I'm here to ask you to come to Pokenberry Falls to consider being our pastor.

Jimmy Barkley: So Ellis Birch from First Church in Pokenberry Falls asked me to come to be their pastor.

Donna Barkley: Did you say no? Did you say you thought he was funnier than Burger World's Mr. Clown? I don't think so.

George Barkley: Well, I thought it was worth discussing.

Jimmy Barkley: Dad, the man was wearing a hat that had fish lures stuck to the rim.

George Barkley: He was a little offbeat, yes.

Jimmy Barkley: And what did you do with this offbeat man from Podunk Falls?

George Barkley: I invited him back to the house to talk.

Ellis Birch: Anyway, we haven't had a full-time pastor for about two years or so. So I've come here to ask you to consider it.

George Barkley: But why me?

Ellis Birch: Well, you were the last one on the list.

George Barkley: What?

Ellis Birch: I mean the last one to be considered because we didn't know about you. See, Alan Reynolds' second cousin, Argus, lives over in Connelsville, and I guess he happened to be in Odyssey and heard you preach, and he was really impressed. The rest is history.

George Barkley: Rest of what?

Ellis Birch: The story. Argus told Alan about you, and Alan told the search committee at First Church, and here I am. So let me lay my cards on the barrelhead.

George Barkley: Cards?

Ellis Birch: Postcards. See? These are pictures of Pokenberry Falls. I thought you might be impressed with its beauty. We're mighty proud of how beautiful it is.

Mary Barkley: It does look beautiful.

George Barkley: You have mountains there.

Ellis Birch: New England's full of that.

Jimmy Barkley: Why are all the cars from the 1950s?

Ellis Birch: Well, to be honest, the cards are a little old. I forgot to bring recent pictures.

Jimmy Barkley: Tell me, is the town itself black and white, or did you have it colorized too?

Ellis Birch: We've got some local color. Pokenberry Falls, New England's most popular resort near Rupert.

George Barkley: Rupert?

Ellis Birch: Rupert's the closest city. See, Pokenberry Falls was sort of a getaway for rich folks who wanted to relax, play some golf in the spring and summer, and ski in the winter. The Lionel Hotel in Pokenberry Falls is world-famous in New England.

Mary Barkley: Rich people, huh? It looks charming.

George Barkley: Well, Ellis, this is all very interesting, but...

Ellis Birch: Now, I am prepared to fly the entire family to Pokenberry Falls so you can consider it firsthand.

George Barkley: On such short notice?

Ellis Birch: You don't have to go right away unless you want to. Though I thought you said you wanted to leave town for a few days anyway. It's up to you. I can always come back for you later.

Jimmy Barkley: Come back for us?

Ellis Birch: Yeah, I got my own plane.

Jimmy Barkley: The church has a plane? Wow.

Ellis Birch: Well, not the church exactly. To be honest, it belongs to Barry Lionel. He owns the hotel, the plastic factory. He's chairman of the board of trustees for Pokenberry Falls College and, oh yeah, he's also the head deacon of our church.

But look, I'll leave you this packet of information about the area. It'll give you a basic history and pertinent details. Then, if it's all right, I'll check back with you later in the day. You just let me know if you want to go, and we'll go.

George Barkley: Well, thank you, Mr. Birch.

Ellis Birch: Ellis. The name's Ellis. I'm at the Simple Six Motel out near the airport. See you.

George Barkley: I'll walk you out. So, what denomination is First Church anyway?

Ellis Birch: Well, that's sort of up to the pastor.

Donna Barkley: I don't understand. Why is Dad even leading him on?

Mary Barkley: Leading him on?

Donna Barkley: It's not like we're serious about going to Huckleberry whatever it is.

Jimmy Barkley: We meant to visit. Why not? I'd love to fly around in a rich man's jet.

Donna Barkley: It's a waste of time. There's no way we're going to go, right? Right?

George Barkley: Wrong. I think we should go. In fact, I think we should go this week. You said Tuesday would be all right, right, Mary?

Mary Barkley: Now wait a minute.

George Barkley: Jimmy and Donna's schedules are clear. Connie said she and her mom can take care of Stewart, and the Johnsons will make sure to feed Normal. We're covered.

Donna Barkley: But why?

George Barkley: Take a look at this dossier. First Church is Pokenberry Falls' only church. Most of the town works for the hotel or the factory. There's a private college with about 1,200 students. There are six projected housing developments around the town. It's expected to be the next major suburb.

Jimmy Barkley: Suburb to where? Rupert?

Donna Barkley: But Dad, Odyssey has all those things. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with staying here with our friends at our church?

George Barkley: Nothing's wrong with staying here. If the church offers me the pastorship, saying yes is the obvious thing to do. And that's what makes me wonder. It's obvious. The obvious thing isn't always the right thing. You know that.

So I've been praying about it ever since Ellis walked out the door, and maybe it's from God. I don't know, but if Ellis is willing to fly us there, I'm willing to give God a chance to talk to us about it.

Donna Barkley: I've got a bad feeling about this.

George Barkley: Donna, you've been here your entire life. I know how you feel, but I simply can't say no. That's the easy thing to do. I believe there's more to it than what we think. I'll call his hotel now. If he doesn't mind waiting, we'll go on Tuesday.

Jimmy Barkley: Tuesday it is. Pokenberry Falls, here we come.

George Barkley: Give that back, Stewart. Thank you. So we went on Tuesday.

Donna Barkley: So much for a rich man's plane, too.

Jimmy Barkley: Yeah, it was an old what did you call it, Dad?

George Barkley: I think it was a six-passenger Cessna.

Jimmy Barkley: Right, an old Cessna with a hand-crank engine.

Mary Barkley: Stop exaggerating.

Jimmy Barkley: Well, it was no Learjet, that's for sure.

George Barkley: So is this what you do for a living, Ellis? You're a pilot?

Ellis Birch: Sometimes. I fly planes, I drive cars, I fix engines. I do a little of everything, you know. Technically, I am an executive associate to the office of the president.

George Barkley: Meaning?

Ellis Birch: I'm Mr. Lionel's go-fer.

George Barkley: So we got to Pokenberry Falls, oh, I guess it was...

Donna Barkley: A hundred hours later.

George Barkley: No, it was not.

Mary Barkley: It felt like it.

George Barkley: It was late that afternoon.

Jimmy Barkley: And then we dive-bombed to the runway.

George Barkley: Cut it out, Jimmy. We had to drop suddenly to clear the trees around the golf course. The runway was on the edge of the Lionel Hotel Resort, and we were really impressed, too. You most of all, Jimmy.

Jimmy Barkley: Well, the place was impressive, but that was the resort. The town was a different story. You noticed that Ellis didn't drive us through town to get to his house.

George Barkley: Don't get ahead of the story. Like Jimmy said, we went straight to Ellis's house where we met...

Ellis Birch: My wife, Vivian. Viv, say hello to the Barkleys.

Vivian Birch: Oh, it's very nice to meet you folks. Thanks for coming such a long way.

George Barkley: Oh, it's our pleasure.

Ellis Birch: And where's Amy? Amy! She's our granddaughter. Moved in with us a few years ago after her parents, our son and his wife, died in a car accident.

Mary Barkley: I'm so sorry.

Ellis Birch: Amy! Where is she, Viv?

Vivian Birch: I told her to be here. You know how she is.

Amy Birch: What do you want?

Ellis Birch: Oh, there you are. I want you to meet the Barkley family. Remember?

Amy Birch: Oh, hi.

George Barkley: Stop the story right there.

Jimmy Barkley: Why?

George Barkley: Well, I think it's important for Stewart to understand something.

Jimmy Barkley: Oh, yeah. Stewart, one day when you're older, it'll make sense what happened next. But I have to tell you that Amy was absolutely gorgeous. Wasn't she?

George Barkley: Beautiful. Maybe the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life, which is why Jimmy nearly tripped over his tongue when they were introduced.

Jimmy Barkley: I did not.

Ellis Birch: And this is Donna.

Donna Barkley: Hi.

Ellis Birch: And Jimmy.

Jimmy Barkley: Hi, the measures up... the pleasure is mine.

George Barkley: Steady, son.

Amy Birch: Nice to meet you.

Ellis Birch: Don't worry, Jimmy, Amy has that effect on boys.

Jimmy Barkley: Effect? A what effect?

Ellis Birch: Exactly. So Viv, what's the plan? Should I take them straight over...

Vivian Birch: No, Ellis, they're staying with us.

Ellis Birch: With us? But what about the...

Vivian Birch: It's not quite ready. Plumbing problems.

George Barkley: Are we causing some kind of inconvenience?

Vivian Birch: Oh, no, no, no, no. We were going to let you stay at the parsonage, but well, obviously...

Ellis Birch: There's a plumbing problem.

Vivian Birch: Actually, it's the pipes.

George Barkley: The pipes?

Vivian Birch: They haven't finished putting them in.

Donna Barkley: The parsonage doesn't have indoor plumbing?

Vivian Birch: Oh, not since we ripped them all out to replace them. Just part of the renovation. Right. You'll stay with us. Plenty of pipes, plenty of water, plenty of plumbing for all. And we'll put George and Mary in the guest room. Donna, you can stay in Amy's room. Jimmy, if you don't mind, we'll put you on the sleeper sofa in the family room. Okay now, let's get your things inside so you can just freshen up. Just right around the corner there.

George Barkley: Well, Ellis, after we get cleaned up, if you don't mind, I'd really like to wander around town a little.

Ellis Birch: Oh, don't you worry about that. To be honest, I've got a full itinerary worked out for you.

George Barkley: You mentioned that I'll meet your deacons.

Ellis Birch: Tomorrow afternoon.

George Barkley: And preach at your midweek service?

Ellis Birch: Tomorrow evening. We were going to have you preach on Sunday morning, but figured it's the same congregation in either case.

George Barkley: I was wondering.

Ellis Birch: And in the meantime, I'll show you everything I think you should see just to give you an impression of the town. Okay? We'll take the entire family and...

Amy Birch: Grandpa?

Ellis Birch: Yes, Amy.

Amy Birch: Why don't you take Mr. and Mrs. Barkley and I'll show Donna and Jimmy around?

Vivian Birch: I think it would be much better if the family stayed together. Don't you, Ellis?

Ellis Birch: Probably. Thanks anyway, Amy.

George Barkley: Well, actually, Amy may be onto something. It probably would be more interesting for them if they went with her. Do you drive?

Amy Birch: Uh-huh.

Ellis Birch: To be honest, I'm not sure.

Amy Birch: Oh, don't be like that, Grandpa. It'll be a lot more fun this way. What do you think, Donna?

Donna Barkley: Anything's okay with me.

Jimmy Barkley: Sure, I'll go with you.

Amy Birch: Then it's settled. Let's go.

George Barkley: Let me interrupt for a minute here because while you were cavorting up at the falls, we were driving around Pokenberry Falls College towards the church.

Ellis Birch: And that is the college.

George Barkley: It's small.

Ellis Birch: Yeah, to be honest, we like it that way. Our professors can give students more personal attention.

Mary Barkley: You said it's a private college?

Ellis Birch: Well, we like to say it's Ivy League, because we have ivy all over the place. Anyway, oh, there's the church up ahead. It's right next to the college so chapel services can be held there. Mr. Lionel insists that the students go to chapel. He's a very big stickler about it.

George Barkley: Well, that's good. Who handles the chapel services?

Ellis Birch: You, if you take the job.

George Barkley: Really?

Ellis Birch: Didn't I mention that? Oh dear, where is my brain? Your position includes being the chaplain for the college.

George Barkley: Interesting.

Mary Barkley: It's a beautiful church.

Ellis Birch: Let me just drive around the front. Oh, maybe we should go on, Ellis. Good idea.

George Barkley: Now wait a minute. Isn't that a police car?

Ellis Birch: Well, what do you know? It is. It is. Say, let's see about some dinner and...

George Barkley: Hold on, hold on. There are two police cars and their lights are flashing. Don't you think we should make sure everything's all right?

Ellis Birch: No, really, we...

George Barkley: You better stop the car, Ellis.

Mary Barkley: I think it's worth mentioning that the church really was beautiful. It was a modest-sized stone building, modeled after some European church, I guess, with large wooden doors and stained-glass windows. I fell in love with it.

George Barkley: It must have been at least 200 years old. And with the old college buildings and woods in the distance behind it...

Mary Barkley: And the setting sun.

George Barkley: Yeah, it was gorgeous, which is what made the two police cars with their lights flashing such an odd picture. We got out and somebody was inside the church shouting and breaking things, and Ellis kept trying to act like nothing was wrong.

Bob: Hi, Ellis.

Ellis Birch: Hello, Bob. We've been trying to call you.

Bob: What's going on? It's Owen. He locked himself inside and, well, you can hear that he's pretty upset. Anything you want us to do?

Ellis Birch: No thanks, I'll take care of it.

Bob: Okay, see you later. All right, Mark, back to the station.

George Barkley: What happened? Why are they leaving?

Ellis Birch: It's Owen, isn't it? Oh, I knew this would happen. I better go talk to him. You want to just wait in the car?

George Barkley: But it sounds like a maniac's loose in there. Don't you want some help? Why did you send the police away?

Ellis Birch: No need for them to hang around. They know Owen. He just gets angry sometimes and since he can't get in the house, he comes here.

George Barkley: But he sounds out of control. Why don't you let the police handle it?

Ellis Birch: Because he's my brother.

Amy Birch: This is the place. What do you think? Pretty nice, huh?

Jimmy Barkley: What is it, some kind of hideout?

Amy Birch: It used to be a utility shed. Now it's our own resort, our own getaway. I come up here sometimes with my friends when we want to pretend like we don't live in Pokenberry Falls anymore.

Donna Barkley: Do you have a lot of friends from church?

Amy Birch: From church? No way. Nobody our age even goes to church.

Donna Barkley: Oh. Well then, who are your friends?

Amy Birch: Let's see. There's Jan and Laura and Scotch.

Jimmy Barkley: Scotch?

Amy Birch: That's not his real name. His real name is Kevin.

Jimmy Barkley: Oh. Is he your boyfriend?

Amy Birch: No. Are you kidding? Do you really think I'd go out with anyone in this town?

Jimmy Barkley: I don't know. Would you?

Amy Birch: Not a chance. All they know how to do is drool at me.

Jimmy Barkley: I'm not surprised. I mean, it's kind of obvious to say, but you're beautiful.

Donna Barkley: Yeah. I mean, you could be a model and I don't mean a model like your grandfather's dentures or anything.

Amy Birch: Thanks. I came up here for something. Where did they hide it? Oh, here it is.

Jimmy Barkley: What's this?

Amy Birch: What's it look like? Want something to drink?

Jimmy Barkley: You mean a soda or something, right?

Amy Birch: I mean, don't be so naive. Here, take a hint.

Jimmy Barkley: Well, I don't really think that...

Amy Birch: Don't tell me you're going to be like all the other losers around here.

Jimmy Barkley: Losers? Well, I never thought of us as losers.

Amy Birch: Then take the bottle. Come on, let's have a good time.

George Barkley: Hold it! We have to stop here.

Mary Barkley: What? Why?

George Barkley: Well, we're almost out of tape.

Donna Barkley: Oh, okay. Stewart, hang in there. We'll continue the story shortly.

Jimmy Barkley: Just when it was getting good.

Chris: Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. If you'd ever like to write to us, simply send your card or letter to Adventures in Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Or in Canada, write to Box 9800, Vancouver, BC, V6B 4G3. And don't forget to ask about how you can get your own copy of today's episode. It's called Pokenberry Falls, R.F.D. That address again is Adventures in Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995.

Pokenberry Falls, R.F.D. was written by Paul McCusker and directed by Phil Lollar. Our production engineer was Dave Arnold, and our executive producer is Chuck Bolte. And I'm Chris, hoping you'll join us again next time for more Adventures in Odyssey.