Revive Our Hearts

Dana Gresh: This month on Revive Our Hearts weekend, we've been looking to Jesus together. Last weekend, we looked to him in the midst of change, those transitional seasons that leave us disoriented and desperate for his care. You can find that episode at reviveourhearts.com/weekend. Today, we're shifting gears a bit, looking to him in the midst of our shame. And let me tell you, few things have turned my eyes upon Jesus more. Shame has been something I've wrestled with and won. And I'll tell you more about it today. I'm your host, Dana Gresh. You're listening to Revive Our Hearts weekend.

You're going to hear a little more of my story later on, but first, we're going to hear from one of my dearest friends, the one, the only Porsha Collins. For years, we served together on the Grounded podcast, and she is still such a precious sister in ministry. In college, before she knew Jesus, she made a choice, the choice to end her unborn baby's life. And the aftermath brought a crippling feeling of shame. She understood the grace of God, but experientially, she felt dirty and broken. And she kept her sin hidden for years. But today, she wants you to know that healing never happens in the dark.

For God to redeem our sin and shame, to turn the broken pieces of our stories into beautiful ones, we've got to let the light in. Not too long ago, I got to ask Porsha what this process looked like for her. Let's listen. I want to go to that day, that place, that room where you got the courage and you said it for the first time. Was it with one person? Was it with a group of people? What happened? Take us there.

Porsha Collins: So, it was actually on a podcast interview.

Dana Gresh: Go big or go home, Porsha.

Porsha Collins: I know. That's what I said. It's so crazy, Dana, because the podcast was basically recounting that moment when when your life changed. And so, I felt the Lord leading me to talk about this. And in my mind, I was like, oh no, we're not doing this here like right now. Like, no. And I I remember I had to like tell them like let's pause for a minute because I just need a minute, you know? And I was like crying because I I'm like I'm not I'm not going to talk about this on a podcast, a public, you know, platform.

Dana Gresh: When you're sitting there at that podcast crying, wondering if you're going to do it, did your mom know?

Porsha Collins: Yes. My mom did know. Um at that time, I had told her. And I think even the way that I told my mom was we were observing a situation with someone else who had also, we found out, had recently made the decision to have an abortion. And it was kind of like, well, mom, I made that decision too.

Dana Gresh: Mm.

Porsha Collins: You know? And so, we we

Dana Gresh: What was it like to tell her?

Porsha Collins: I should have told her from the jump when I was pregnant, honestly.

Dana Gresh: Mm.

Porsha Collins: I wish I wish I had gone to my mom first.

Dana Gresh: Mm.

Porsha Collins: Um but because I feared that my mom was the kind of believer that I had or I wouldn't even say I I say believer loosely. Let's just say quote unquote Christians. Um I saw my mom through a jaded lens of experiences that I had had with other people or other moms, how I saw that they were with their daughters. And I thought that's exactly how my mom is going to be with me, and my momma wasn't. And so,

Dana Gresh: What was what was she like? What did she say that was helpful that day you told her?

Porsha Collins: Yeah. Just filled with grace. And you know, of course, she expressed she wished that I had come to her. But the thing is my mom's love didn't change for me.

Dana Gresh: Mm.

Porsha Collins: And I realized in that moment when I told her that my mom's love wasn't going to change for me. And so, my mom was really a vision of what we experience in Christ.

Dana Gresh: Yeah.

Porsha Collins: And I wish I had experienced that as I was making that decision.

Dana Gresh: Yeah.

Porsha Collins: Cuz like I said, by the time my mom found out, it was years later. It was years later. And so,

Dana Gresh: Yeah. She was Christ to you. She was Christ in the flesh. She was the hands and feet and voice of Christ. And it reminds me of that passage in Romans 8 that says, who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No. In all things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. And there's not death nor life nor angels nor rulers nor things present nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation that has the power to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Those are the words of Scripture, a little bit of Dana paraphrase in there. And that's what you experienced when you told your mom. That's why we're saying tell someone

Porsha Collins: Yes.

Dana Gresh: because

Porsha Collins: 100%

Dana Gresh: otherwise we risk distorting

Porsha Collins: Yes.

Dana Gresh: what Christ is thinking and feeling towards us

Porsha Collins: Yes.

Dana Gresh: when nothing can cancel his love.

Porsha Collins: Yes.

Dana Gresh: So, you'd had those experiences, telling your husband, telling your mom. You'd been in the word. You'd been growing in the word. You're sitting in the seat with a mic in front of you. And you feel the Holy Spirit prompting you. You step back, tears in your eyes. What made you say something?

Porsha Collins: Because I had to I had to speak honestly about the goodness of God in my life. And what I mean by that is I couldn't share. I I felt like it would have been a false representation to share my life as a believer and all the things that God had had done in my life and the ways that he was growing and maturing me. It would have been a false representation of his love and the depth of his love and the breadth of his love to not speak about my abortion, to not speak about just where he brought me from.

And And here's the thing, Dana, because my mom and my grandma, like I said, they they reared me in the faith. In fact, I've always been known as a church girl like because they were the church pianist and organist. I was always at church. I did a lot of churchy things. And so, it was as if God was speaking to me and and showing me tell the truth so that the work that I've done in your life is not attributed to religiosity, but it is truly attributed to grace. And so, that's why I opened my mouth.

I I didn't have a choice, Dana. I didn't have a choice. But after I did, I see why I was so scared. I was so scared, trembling literally, like shaking. But afterward, it was as if truly a weight, a burden had just lifted from me. Even though I had told my mom and I had told my my husband and you know, a few other people, to be able to stand like boldly and say this is where God has redeemed me from. It was as if someone had just pulled a thousand pounds off of me. And so, it it it was like as if the enemy lost his power and God got his glory by me opening my mouth and speaking truthfully about that.

Dana Gresh: I'm interested in knowing how people responded. I remember when that happened. We were friends at that time. We were just getting to know each other and just starting to work together. I remember when that happened. Did you experience what you feared, which is judgment, or did you experience something different from the body of Christ once you started to share this testimony?

Porsha Collins: I experienced something different, and that was love. And even also bringing other women in my life who experienced the same and had been suffering in silence, dealing with fear, guilt, and shame for so many years. I 'm talking about women who were like some of which 10 20 years older than me, Dana, who would come and say I've been carrying this for so long. And I heard this podcast, and now I'm speaking more openly about my experiences. I'm able to talk with my daughters and my granddaughters.

Dana Gresh: Wow. We have such a redemptive God, don't we? I mean, he didn't leave Porsha sitting in sorrow and shame. No. He sent his son Jesus to take that shame away. And in his place, God has given Porsha a beautiful ministry. And every time she shares her story, she's a living, breathing testament of the truth of the gospel. What shame are you carrying today? The shame of sexual sin, the shame of being angry or short-tempered in your home, shame of scrolling instead of engaging faithfully in the work God has set before you. Whatever sin is heavy on your heart today, you don't have to carry it anymore.

You can look to Jesus and offer it up to him. And when you experience the freeing forgiveness of God, you'll be like the woman in Luke chapter 7. We don't know her name. She was possibly a prostitute. She interrupted a meal at the house of Simon the Pharisee. And she had a reputation of someone who nice people shouldn't associate with. But Jesus tenderly forgave her sins. And those eating there at the table with Jesus, they started wondering, who is this man who even forgives sins? Here's Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. Jesus said to her, your sins have been forgiven.

Go in peace. Go into peace. The verb there is to go on your way. Don't just stay here loving me, worshiping me. You keep loving and worshiping me, but you got a life to live. You can't stay at this dinner the rest of your life. Go on your way in peace. This woman had experienced anything but that. And her her past would have said, how could she ever go on her way in peace after all she'd done, who she was? Your sins may have been many. All our sins have been many. And Jesus says to you, your sins have been forgiven.

Go in peace. Go into peace. Go on your way in peace. Move forward in peace. Go in peace. Move forward from this place knowing that you have peace with God. You're no longer his enemy. You no longer at war with him. And you can walk in and be filled with the peace of God. Go in peace. Go in peace knowing that you now have a new identity, new relationships, a new calling. Go in peace knowing that Jesus has paid the price for your sin. Go in peace knowing and believing these wonderful promises, these amazing promises that he has given you in his word.

Let me just give you a few. If you find the shame and guilt, the the memories, the pain, the sense you can't be released from this, you know you've been forgiven, but you don't feel forgiven and it 's hard to go forward in peace. Let me just give you some promises to cling to, to renew your mind with truth. Romans 5 verse 1. Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Micah 7 verses 18 and 19. I love this passage. Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance?

He does not retain his anger forever because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us. He will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. How many of our sins?

Guest (Female): All of them.

Dana Gresh: All of them. Say, well, I know all of those, but yeah, but what? Which one will he not cast into the depths of the sea? And if he has delighted in steadfast love, if he has pardoned iniquity, if he has passed over your transgression, if he says he will tread your iniquities under foot, what right do you have to let those sins have a chokehold in your life? So many women who live with shame, with guilt, it hangs on it, clings to them. Women who say, but I've repented. I know in my head I've been forgiven, but I just don't feel it.

Here's what a lot of them say, although you won't find this term in Scripture, they say I just can't forgive myself for what I did. And that is probably in most cases a giveaway to the presence of shame. Scripture doesn't ask you to forgive yourself. Doesn't tell you to forgive yourself. You won't find that anywhere in Scripture. It says your sins, which are many, have been forgiven. You can't forgive your own sins, but God can. Jesus can. He paid the price for your sins. And so, when God 's word says he will tread your iniquities under foot, he will pardon iniquity, he will pass over transgression, he will cast all of your sins into the depths of the sea.

What sin could you have committed that that doesn't include? Now, you may still say I don't feel forgiven. I will say there is often time needed to renew your mind with the promises of God's word, once like the ones I'm giving you here, so that you begin to you've worn a rut in your thinking of shame and guilt. Sometimes you just need to keep counseling your mind and your heart according to truth. Yeah, I feel this, but here's what God 's word says. This woman had nothing to cling to except the word of Christ. Your sins, which are many, have been forgiven.

Go in peace. You don't need to go on forever living as a struggling, needy woman. I find that some women, and I want to say this carefully, develop a new identity as a needy counseling. Now, I 'm not saying don't get counseling. Godly counsel can be a really helpful tool that God uses to help you renew your mind. But you don't want being a needy woman who never goes forward in peace. That's not your identity. So, don't trade your identity of sin and shame for a new identity of forgiveness and shame. Your sins, which are many, have been forgiven.

Go in peace. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth encouraging you with the wealth of Scriptures to wash away your shame. Now, this is a topic I'm passionate about. In fact, at True Woman 25, I got to share about finding daily mercy in God's word, the kind that frees us from shame. Here's a little of that message based on Psalm 130. We tend to be very undone by the big sins. And then there are all these everyday sins, the don't mind if I step on your toes, the nagging at our husbands, the the losing our temper with our kids.

Get the the the pride and ambition. Listen, let's talk about Sabbath for just a second. It's one of the Ten Commandments. Do you practice it? I feel like the the bad sins over here, they weigh us down with such a burden. And we are like those pilgrims climbing up up up, doing all the work of carrying the weight of that sin. And yet, over here are all these sins that we're just not really honest about. Listen, I got to tell you something that all sins separates us from God. It has the same impact, whether you think it's bad or whether you think it's not that bad.

We've got to stop making excuses about our sins. We've got to be like the psalmist and come honestly. Here's some of the ways that I excuse my sin. Comparison excuses. Well, I'm not doing what she did. Did you see? Cultural excuses. Well, it's just kind of what people do these days. Everybody's watching it. Everybody's listening to it. Everybody's saying it. Identity excuses. I can't help the way I am. It's just my personality. Rights-based excuses. I have the right to control my time, my body, my choices. Emotional excuses. I can't control my emotions. I just can't.

If you knew what I'd been through, you would understand why I am the way I am. Blame-shifting excuses. If I were treated better, I wouldn't do fill in the blank. Have you ever made any of those excuses? It's time to stop making those excuses and to be honest like this psalmist. The The reason that it says in the Bible, his mercies are new every morning, is cuz guess what? We need them every morning. We need them every single day. And this psalmist is crying out for that mercy. We need them every day. Verse 3. If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?

Now, while we need this mercy every day, I want you to know something. God is not an accountant. He's not keeping a ledger of your sin. Why do you? Nancy often talks about how so many themes in Scripture run on parallel tracks. Have you heard her talk about the parallel tracks of Scripture? And one of those parallel tracks is our need for mercy and the beautiful beautiful gift that God is not a record keeper. And when we don't have both of those held in balance, we are not walking as women in Christ. We are either walking as women weighed down by the shame of our sin, forgetting the mercy of God, or pride.

And today, the invitation from this psalmist is to understand the tension of those parallel tracks and the beauty of it. Listen, this is what I want to say. The point of understanding our need for mercy is not to hold our sin close, but to allow God to take it far away from us. How far? As far as the east is from the west, and those two can never meet. Never. I don't care what sin you've come in here with. If you're coming in here with sins of abortion and sins of of sexual sin and sins of a pornography addiction, sins of covetousness and murder in your heart, listen, God's mercy is big enough for that.

And if you're coming in with the little itty-bitty sins, you need his mercy. But make no mistake. He is not a record keeper. Then why do we feel the shame and the pain sometimes? Here's what I've decided. That period in my life where I was so weighed down by my sin and my shame drove me to Jesus. The pain drove me to Jesus. And listen, if you're feeling shame, if there's something How do you know if you're feeling it? Well, if I walked up to you today and said to you, hey, what is it that separates you from God and you didn't you could not get your mouth to say the words, that's probably shame.

If there's a woman in your life who I mean, you're serving the Lord, you're a leader in the church, and there's a woman in your life who has struggled or is struggling with the same sin that you've never told anybody about, but your testimony could set her free, you're probably struggling with shame. When we're struggling with shame, we have two choices. We can either allow that pain to make us run to the mercy giver and say give me the mercy I don't deserve. Please, Jesus, wash this away. Cast my sin as far as the east is from the west.

Or we can hold on to it and cooperate with Satan's work of silencing us. Which do you choose? I chose to run to Jesus. I chose to run to him. And I got to tell you something that that included running to my mom, running to my husband, running to my best friend, and telling them, here's the thing I've never told anyone. James 5:16 says, confess your sins one to another and then you will be healed. Confession to God and God alone makes us right with God. But he has given us the body for the healing work that has to happen in our hearts.

No more secrets. No more secrets. Today, your invitation is to be honest with your sin. Why? Because with you there is forgiveness so that we can with reverence serve you. God can and does forgive and it feels glorious. Never in my life have I felt weight lift from me than when I finally started to live in the power of Psalm 130. It's true. He did. And my friend, he can revive your heart too. In closing today, I just want to read part of Psalm 130 to you. Would you let it just wash over you wherever you are, whatever you're doing, however you're feeling in your spirit?

Here we go. Lord, if you kept an account of iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness that you may be revered. I wait for the Lord. I wait and put my hope in his word. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord where there is faithful love with the Lord. And with him is redemption in abundance. Now, shame isn't something only grown-up women experience. Teen girls struggle too. And we created the Wonder app to meet these precious daughters, sisters, and granddaughters with the shame-destroying truth of God's word.

Each and every day, they'll walk through the Scripture with one of our Wonder mentors, a young woman a little further along in years, eager to share how God's word has transformed her own story. To connect your girls with our community of 10,000 teen girls and counting, visit reviveourhearts.com/wonder. If you're excited about Revive Our Hearts ministry efforts like the Wonder app, if you've found freedom because of a podcast episode or learned how to better walk with a friend because you've listened in, would you consider making a donation to help us continue this work? Every gift matters greatly.

And when you donate this month, we'll send you Nancy's new Advent devotional, Consider Jesus. It'd be such a lovely addition to your Christmas traditions this year. To give and request yours, visit reviveourhearts.com. And if you're not able to give at this time, would you pray that God would continue to bless the ministry of Revive Our Hearts? Pray that he would allow us to call more women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. We believe God receives those requests and loves to bless them. Last weekend, we looked to Jesus in the midst of change. Today, we looked to him in the midst of shame.

And next weekend, we're looking to him in our exhaustion. So, if you're weary, burned out, desperate for refreshment, I hope you'll join us. Thanks for listening today. I'm Dana Gresh. I'll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts weekend. This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.