The Alternative

Dr. Tony Evans: They got people working 24 hours a day whose job it is to ruin your children.

Host (Male): Dr. Tony Evans says the world is eager to disciple your children, but God entrusted that calling to parents.

Dr. Tony Evans: The primary role of the home is the evangelization and discipleship of the children.

Host (Male): This is The Alternative broadcast, featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans.

Dr. Evans says the only way to counter societal influences that lead our kids away from the Lord is to cultivate a family-based faith. Let’s join him as he explains how to do that.

Dr. Tony Evans: Like it or not, you and I are currently experiencing a cultural tsunami that is quite literally sweeping away a generation. There is virtually no sense anymore of absolute truth. The question is not, "Is it right or is it wrong?" It's, "How does it make me feel?" That has become the dominant mindset of our contemporary generation.

I was in a hotel the other day, and I was flipping a channel. And there was a comedian on. The comedian spent some time telling the worst possible jokes. At the end of him telling his jokes, he said this. He said, "Now, you all folks make sure that you keep God first in your life." In other words, there was no connection between what he was saying and what he was believing. There was a disconnect.

You see it on the award shows. Folks thank God after doing the worst kind of stuff because there's no connection. God is there in a vague, general way, but his impact and influence on the decisions that are made is not. Unfortunately, we have a generation of Christian young people today who are wearing the enemy's uniform. And what I mean is they have adopted the value system of this world order, and it has become their value system even though they may go to church.

Moses in Deuteronomy is talking to the children of Israel, and they are getting ready to go into the Promised Land. What Moses tells the children of Israel is that if you want to survive in the Promised Land, the family must become the primary place where faith is transferred. Not the government, not the public school, not the church.

He tells them as the leader of the people, he says, "If you're going to make it in the Promised Land, it's got to be made in your house." Today we live in a day of outsourcing. Companies outsource their products, outsource goods and services so that inside they don't have to deal with it. So they pay another company that's a professional in this arena. "You all handle this for us so we don't have to worry about it. And if I outsource it, then you pay the salaries of the people, you pay the benefits. We're going to outsource it because we don't want to be bothered with that."

Today we have a generation that's outsourced their kids. "School, you raise my kids for eight hours. Church, you teach my kids. Television, you entertain my kids, because I don't want to be bothered. I am too tired, too frustrated, got my own issues. I don't want to be bothered." And so because people don't want to be bothered, you got child abuse, child neglect.

Moses says if you are going to make it, then this thing has got to be rooted in your home. The fifth commandment, "Honor your father and mother that you might live long in the land." Now, most of the time we talk about that individually, but it was bigger than individual. If you want to survive in the culture, this parent-child thing has got to be tight.

If you're going to survive in the culture... he talks to the young people, teenagers. Honor your father and mother because they're supposed to be honoring the Lord, and honor your father and mother that you survive the culture. Parents are supposed to be filters to keep the idols of the culture from entering into the life of the children. The reason why we are losing a generation is because what Moses told Israel, we don't care about today.

You get parents and they'll say, "Well, I don't want my kid in church. In fact, I don't even know if I'm going, because this is a Sunday. The kids come to church and my kid is not going to sit still." People expect church to be something church was never meant to be. It was never meant to raise your children. It was only meant to supplement your activity.

It can only supplement. It cannot replace a mother and a father who have taken as their primary role in life the evangelization and the spiritual development of their children. The church is a highlight film; the family is the game. Where we have missed it is the home is no longer the central place for the spiritual development of the next generation. We have missed it. We've gone after new cars, new houses. We've gone after higher-paying jobs. None of that's wrong in and of itself unless going after it means I am no longer taking primary responsibility for the spiritual development of my children. In fact, I not only want to not take the responsibility, I don't want to have them.

Moses says we're getting ready to go over into the land to possess it so that your son and your grandson might fear the Lord. Why are we going to do this in our homes? So that your son and your grandson... this is multi-generational... might learn to fear the Lord. Your children might learn to fear the Lord because of what's happening in your house.

Here it is. The job of a parent is to give their children a biblical worldview. Now, what's a worldview? A worldview is a grid through which you look at life. It's like putting on sunglasses. When you put on sunglasses, it casts a new shade over what you see. What you see takes on a different color because you got shades on. So a worldview is the shade that you wear through the lens that you look at life. That's called a worldview. A worldview informs your decision-making because it's the grid through which you think. Your worldview colors your perspective.

People argue about politics all the time, Democrat versus Republicans. It all depends on what pair of glasses you have on. It's a worldview issue. He says it is the job of the home to craft a worldview for the family that is transferred to those under the influence of the family. He says in verse one, "This commandment, these statutes, this judgment, which the Lord your God has committed me to teach you."

So why do you come to church? Let me tell you one of the reasons that people come to church. They come to church to be personally inspired. Nothing wrong with that. Personally taught, personally inspired. But that's not a good enough reason. That's not enough. He says, "I'm teaching you these commandments, these statutes, and these guidelines, so that you might tell your son and your grandson."

In other words, I'm not just preaching this for you. I'm preaching this to you so through you it'll get to them. Every man in this building who comes to church Sunday after Sunday after Sunday, who never sits down with his family to review what he himself has learned, is a failed man. From a father standpoint, that's a failed father. And now you may be a great provider, but if you're not providing spiritual food for your son and your grandson—and he majors on the boys because they themselves would head families—but if this is only for you...

I had a man one day ask me, "What am I supposed to teach my family?" I said, "Did you come to church? Well, if you were paying attention, then you've got some principle that you can share from what you've learned. And then if they've gone through a program, you can certainly ask them what they've learned."

Host (Male): Dr. Evans will return in a moment to explain why God has given parents the primary responsibility for shaping their children's faith. Stay with us.

Dr. Tony Evans: Far too many of us want to throw in the towel before we've thrown up the praise. Dr. Tony Evans says Christians have a habit of underusing or overlooking our most valuable spiritual resource. Grace is available, but only at the throne, and you can only approach the throne through prayer.

Host (Male): You can deepen your connection with the Lord through our in-depth course on Kingdom Prayer at the Tony Evans Training Center. You'll discover how God has wired the world to work by prayer and experience for yourself how it connects heaven with earth and time with eternity. You'll not only gain a new understanding and appreciation for prayer, you'll actually pray in transforming ways you've never experienced before. The course is intense, but you can work through it at your own pace and get all the help you need through our online forum. And of course, there's custom content from Tony not available anywhere else. Connect with the Tony Evans Training Center at TonyEvans.org. It's like having a seminar on your smartphone or other device. Start today, TonyEvans.org.

If you're concerned about the pressures today's culture places on families, I want to tell you about a resource package that can help. It starts with Tony's two-volume, 13-message series, Parenting on Purpose. In these lessons, Dr. Evans explains how parents can provide the guidance, stability, and spiritual leadership children need in an increasingly confusing world. We'd like to send you this practical audio collection as our thank-you gift when you make a donation to support the ministry of The Urban Alternative. And to help you continue growing beyond the messages, we'll also include Tony's popular book, Raising Kingdom Kids. It offers practical encouragement for parents who want to intentionally shape their children's hearts, values, and future from a biblical perspective.

To take advantage of this limited-time deal, just visit TonyEvans.org and look for more information right on the homepage. Or if it's more convenient, simply give us a call at 1-800-800-3222, where one of our friendly team members is ready to assist you. That's TonyEvans.org or by phone, anytime of the day or night at 1-800-800-3222. I'll repeat that information after the second part of today's lesson.

Here's Dr. Evans, picking up his study on how to cultivate a family-based faith for our children.

Dr. Tony Evans: Mothers and fathers are to be the dominant spiritual influencers in the life of their children. The job of the church is to train the parents to disciple the kids.

So let me ask you a question, parents. How often do you sit down spiritually with your children? How regularly? Let me ask this. How often do you eat physical food with your children? Why do you go to work? You go to work so you can keep food on the table. Why do you go to church? So you can keep food on the table. But what good is food in the cupboard that's never been served for a meal?

There is not a family here that should not be having family devotions three, four, five days a week. Based on schedules, I know people have different schedules. Some travel for work. I know. But there is no excuse. None. Absolutely none. You say, "But wait a minute, you don't understand. I'm tired when I come home. I'm tired." Okay, so I guess that means we're not going to look at television because I'm tired. I guess that's what that means. We ain't going to look at television. We ain't going to work out, because I'm tired.

No, our problem is not that we're tired. I mean, that may be a problem. You may be tired. But that's an excuse. Because we talking about the future of your children. And when you bring it all together, now you're talking about the future of the culture. Thousands of people are working nonstop to put garbage in your kid's mind. They got people working 24 hours a day whose job it is to ruin your children.

He says this is a worldview. Notice, he says teach them diligently to your sons, verse seven, when you sit in house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up. What's wrong with them memorizing a verse a week? If they can remember the lyrics to them hip-hop songs, they can remember one verse a week.

Write them on the doorposts, have plaques on the wall, have it all over. Play some Christian music in the house sometime. Let them run into this thing all the time because the culture has them running into their thing all the time. All the time. He says if you want to survive in the place I have you, with all this junk going on, he says the family has got to take this thing seriously.

This is not... I know this is not going to be a popular statement... but this is not first about your happiness. This is not first about your happiness. And yeah, I'm for happiness and I'm for that, but that's not first. This is first about your future. Your future.

He says you teach them to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and your might. Now, that's your job. That's your job as parents. Your job as parents is to teach your child a Christian worldview so that God is their point of reference in every area of their life. To not disconnect it. That God is your point of reference at school, that God is your point of reference when you're playing with your friends, that God is your point of reference on your sports team, that God is your point... you teach them to love the Lord your God.

Now, watch this now, with all your heart. Now, when the Bible talks about the heart, it's here. Obviously it's not talking about the pump in your chest that pumps blood. He's talking about your will. You know, when guys playing ball, we say, "Oh, he got heart." He got heart. When we say he got heart, that means he has chosen to go get it. Or a person doesn't have heart, no fight in them. Love the Lord with all your will.

Then he says all your soul. That's your passion, your emotion. He doesn't want sterile love. He wants a love you can feel, with the passion of your being. Then with all your strength. That's your body. He says, "You train this generation and the next generation because you're trying to do it too, to love the Lord their God with all they got."

Family worship must be regular. The symbols of the faith must be all around your house. Boundaries must be set. Parents, how do you relate to a teenager? Simple. You establish boundaries. These are the boundaries. Now, as long as you stay within the boundaries, you are free. You are free. This is the boundary. Boundary is you come in at 11:00, based on the age. The boundary is that these are your responsibilities. This is the boundary. These are the boundaries.

Now, when you step on the line and you out of bounds, these are the consequences. However, when you stay within the line, these are the rewards. So it's not just consequences, it's curses and blessings. So if I can trust you on this year to be in at 11:00, then next year we'll discuss 12:00. We'll bless you with another hour because you honored the boundary today. We complain that our kids are out of bounds when they've never had boundaries. So they create their own. You give them these judgments, these standards.

What he is simply saying to them, what I am simply saying to us, is that if we are serious about the future, then the family is going to have to step up and take seriously its responsibility to be the dominant influencers in the spiritual well-being. What would you look like if somebody else is feeding your kids every day? "Oh, you hungry? Go down the street. They got something to eat." I would say you're an irresponsible parent if you say, "I ain't got time to feed you. Let that lady down the street cook for you." But that's what we're doing with the kids. We're saying, "Let somebody else influence your life. I don't have time."

No, it's not not having time. It's not making the priority choices that will inconvenience you to take the time. And that's okay, though, because the culture has got a whole lot of pseudo mothers and fathers out there ready to raise your kids. The gangbangers will be glad to raise your sons. The abusers will be glad to love on your daughters. Be glad to. So there is a lot of surrogate stuff out there would love to take your place. All you got to do is not be there. It is the responsibility... Moses said, "My job is to teach you. Your job is to take it home diligently."

Don't be talking about you did it last month. Nothing diligent about that. Talking about, "I fed my kids dinner last month." Hello, what you want credit? He says write them on the doorpost of your house and write them on your gate. Do not delegate to anybody the spiritual development of your children. Supplement it, don't delegate it.

Host (Male): Dr. Evans will return in a moment to wrap up our time together with a final word of encouragement.

Now, if you gathered some helpful information in today's lesson, there's much more waiting in Tony's complete series called Parenting on Purpose. This two-volume collection contains 13 full-length messages packed with biblical insight and practical encouragement for parents and grandparents alike. And for a limited time, when you make a donation and request the series, we'll include a complimentary bonus: Tony's popular book, Raising Kingdom Kids. Together, these resources can help you build a stronger spiritual legacy for the people you love most. Visit TonyEvans.org today to learn more. Or call our resource center at 1-800-800-3222 and let one of our team members assist you. That's 1-800-800-3222.

Tomorrow, more from Dr. Evans on building a family-based faith, including why those who were especially blessed are sometimes the first to neglect passing on a heritage of faith. But right now, he's back with a personal story about his father-in-law's final words as the family gathered to say goodbye.

Dr. Tony Evans: He didn't say, "I wish I would have made more money." He didn't say, "I wish I had a higher promotion. I wish I had a bigger house. I wish I had a nicer car. I wish I had better clothes." The only thing he said was—and he uses that Old Testament phrase—he says, "I see my loins, and God's been good."

Mother and father, right now I want to ask you: if God called you home tomorrow, would you look at your family and say, "It's all good"? Not first because I got them through college, as admirable as that is. Not first because of some great human achievement. But first and foremost because they have learned to love the Lord their God with all of their heart, with all of their soul, and with all of their might. May God cause you to make the decision: as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And if we get enough people making that decision, maybe we can salvage a generation.