Insights on Marriage and Divorce

Chuck Swindoll

How to Have a Good Fight, Part 1

March 9, 2017

 “The first nine years of our marriage were constant hand-to-hand combat,” admitted a husband. If the truth were known, not some but most marriages are marked by periodic skirmishes—and occasionally all-out war! Frequently, marital warfare occurs in the trenches of belligerence or moodiness or both. Some battles are night ambushes or surprise assaults. Others are cold wars of stoic silence. Cruel methods of torture are also employed: public criticism, fearful threats, intimidation, ugly sarcasm, and hateful remarks designed to put down one’s mate. Such tactics are popular . . . but wrong, because they are unfair and never lead to domestic peace. In this message, we will take a look at why couples fight, as well as the rules that can keep any fight clean, good, and beneficial.

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References: Ephesians 4:25-32

Featured Offer

Symphony of Survival
Until death do us part.” Anyone married will tell you this vow of lifelong commitment is much easier said than done. Every marriage encounters unforeseen obstacles and challenges that threaten its survival. This booklet from Chuck Swindoll will teach you profound truths about commitment and show you where true hope for every marriage begins—in a right relationship with Jesus Christ. 42-page booklet

Archives

It is a proven fact that termites destroy more structures each year than fire does. Incredible as it may seem, tiny, silent, unnoticed insects create greater havoc than lashing, brutal, destructive flames—but it’s always the fire that makes the headlines, not the termites. This is also true in a marriage. Most homes are not destroyed because of enormous, headline-making fires . . . but because of the quiet, gnawing, unnoticed, irritating insects that eat away at the troth, or trust, in a relationship year after year. This message exposes five of the more common species of relational termites that weaken and ruin the inner walls of a home. Download Message Mates
March 8, 2017
It is a proven fact that termites destroy more structures each year than fire does. Incredible as it may seem, tiny, silent, unnoticed insects create greater havoc than lashing, brutal, destructive flames—but it’s always the fire that makes the headlines, not the termites. This is also true in a marriage. Most homes are not destroyed because of enormous, headline-making fires . . . but because of the quiet, gnawing, unnoticed, irritating insects that eat away at the troth, or trust, in a relationship year after year. This message exposes five of the more common species of relational termites that weaken and ruin the inner walls of a home. Download Message Mates
March 7, 2017
It is a proven fact that termites destroy more structures each year than fire does. Incredible as it may seem, tiny, silent, unnoticed insects create greater havoc than lashing, brutal, destructive flames—but it’s always the fire that makes the headlines, not the termites. This is also true in a marriage. Most homes are not destroyed because of enormous, headline-making fires . . . but because of the quiet, gnawing, unnoticed, irritating insects that eat away at the troth, or trust, in a relationship year after year. This message exposes five of the more common species of relational termites that weaken and ruin the inner walls of a home. Download Message Mates
March 6, 2017
Immediately upon the mention of the word honeymoon, most people picture a time of intimate romance and unrestrained physical affection between newlyweds. Our culture promotes such a concept. We think of that period of passionate ecstasy as the beginning of a marriage—the time between the wedding and the return to the responsibilities of life. There is nothing wrong with such a concept—except for what it implies: namely, that such a show of physical affection is brief . . . is only for newlyweds . . . and is necessarily temporary, passing away with the passing of time. But God’s plan is that married couples enjoy such delights without shame or reluctance until “death do us part.” Download Message Mates
March 3, 2017
Immediately upon the mention of the word honeymoon, most people picture a time of intimate romance and unrestrained physical affection between newlyweds. Our culture promotes such a concept. We think of that period of passionate ecstasy as the beginning of a marriage—the time between the wedding and the return to the responsibilities of life. There is nothing wrong with such a concept—except for what it implies: namely, that such a show of physical affection is brief . . . is only for newlyweds . . . and is necessarily temporary, passing away with the passing of time. But God’s plan is that married couples enjoy such delights without shame or reluctance until “death do us part.” Download Message Mates
March 2, 2017
Immediately upon the mention of the word honeymoon, most people picture a time of intimate romance and unrestrained physical affection between newlyweds. Our culture promotes such a concept. We think of that period of passionate ecstasy as the beginning of a marriage—the time between the wedding and the return to the responsibilities of life. There is nothing wrong with such a concept—except for what it implies: namely, that such a show of physical affection is brief . . . is only for newlyweds . . . and is necessarily temporary, passing away with the passing of time. But God’s plan is that married couples enjoy such delights without shame or reluctance until “death do us part.” Download Message Mates
March 1, 2017
In the previous message, we learned that God’s plan for remodeling a house into a home calls for some specific behaviors and attitudes which serve as bricks or building blocks for the relationship. Some of these bricks are contributed by the wife and some by the husband. Regrettably, both sets of bricks can be substituted with cheap imitations. These may seem to be adequate and acceptable at first, but over the long haul, they cause great damage. Download Message Mates
February 28, 2017
In the previous message, we learned that God’s plan for remodeling a house into a home calls for some specific behaviors and attitudes which serve as bricks or building blocks for the relationship. Some of these bricks are contributed by the wife and some by the husband. Regrettably, both sets of bricks can be substituted with cheap imitations. These may seem to be adequate and acceptable at first, but over the long haul, they cause great damage. Download Message Mates
February 27, 2017
Everyone expects the dangers of this world to attack from outside the comforts of home. However, with divorces taking place at alarming rates, attacks from without are being replaced with staggering disintegration from within. Divorce stands as the final ruin of a house that has fallen in on itself. If you or a member of your family hasn’t fallen victim to divorce, it almost certainly has affected a number of your friends and acquaintances. The reality of crumbling marriages in our world should cause God’s people to stand up and take notice. Thankfully, the Bible provides clear direction regarding the proper materials it takes to build a lasting marriage. Download Message Mates
February 24, 2017
Everyone expects the dangers of this world to attack from outside the comforts of home. However, with divorces taking place at alarming rates, attacks from without are being replaced with staggering disintegration from within. Divorce stands as the final ruin of a house that has fallen in on itself. If you or a member of your family hasn’t fallen victim to divorce, it almost certainly has affected a number of your friends and acquaintances. The reality of crumbling marriages in our world should cause God’s people to stand up and take notice. Thankfully, the Bible provides clear direction regarding the proper materials it takes to build a lasting marriage. Download Message Mates
February 22, 2017
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Featured Offer

Symphony of Survival
Until death do us part.” Anyone married will tell you this vow of lifelong commitment is much easier said than done. Every marriage encounters unforeseen obstacles and challenges that threaten its survival. This booklet from Chuck Swindoll will teach you profound truths about commitment and show you where true hope for every marriage begins—in a right relationship with Jesus Christ. 42-page booklet

About Insights on Marriage and Divorce

In a day when way too many marriages fail, we all need insight that stands the test of time. We need wisdom from Scripture to equip us to transform our own union from a lackluster contract into an intimate and exciting relationship.

Whether you're recently engaged, just realizing the honeymoon is over, or celebrating your golden anniversary, Insight for Living remains committed to helping couples cultivate honesty, exhibit grace, and experience a joy and intimacy in marriage that they never thought possible.

But we also know that in our fallen world, divorce is sometimes an unavoidable reality, whether through one's own fault or not. If your dreams have been shattered by divorce—or even the possibility of divorce—and have left you with only painful memories and an uncertain future, let us help you through this part of your journey also.

About Chuck Swindoll

Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God's Word. Since 1998, he has served as the founder and senior pastor-teacher of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck's listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs in major Christian radio markets around the world, reaching people groups in languages they can understand. Chuck's extensive writing ministry has also served the body of Christ worldwide and his leadership as president and now chancellor of Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation for ministry. Chuck and Cynthia, his partner in life and ministry, have four grown children, ten grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.

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